Chapter 26: I'm proud of you

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

We had only recently gotten back from ice skating, legs still pulsing with pain from my heavy steps over the ice, when my mother decided spontaneously to take us out for a family meal. "There's a fancy little restaurant a few miles down the road, boys." She grinned, eyes scanning the listing of food places sprawled over her laptop screen, observingly.

"Can't we just stay in?" I frowned. I wasn't particularly in the mood to soak up all of my mother's fake love and empty compliments about how proud of me she was.

"Nope, this is the last night we are spending here because we are going home tomorrow so I don't want to waste it." The laptop was firmly closed, leaving a small echo to bounce around the room when the two separate sides hit against one another.

"What about if you and dad go on a date and let me order food for Jack and I." Although Jack never protested to going out, I still, for some reason, included him in my plan to stay home with me. I'm doing him a favour; I am much more fun than a meal with my parents.

They both stopped once I finished speaking, momentarily taking in my offer. They stared at each other longingly for a short second; they wanted to say yes. I knew it!

"No, Dalton, this is a family weekend." My mum sighed, twirling her brunette hair round her index finger as she relaxed back into the cream sofa.

"Just go, I know both of you would rather it. Plus, if I go with you now, I won't get the chance to use the hot tub." I reasoned, hopeful of my success.

Once again, there was a drawn-out silence of consideration hanging in the air. "Fine." She finally gave in, standing up hastily. "We will go out, obviously if that is okay with you, Jack?" He nodded quickly, a shy smile cutely painted over his face. "Okay, ground rules then."

Great. She began to set out lots of rules, to which I zoned out for. I'm not six, I don't need to be told how to behave by my mum, thanks. Jack, however, listened carefully, eyes meticulously following her every hand gesture, and head nodding gently after each specific and unnecessary instruction.

Soon, after around half an hour of my mum dulling herself up in her bedroom, they were off, placing £30 for food on the counter. Jack sat with me in the living room at first but then rushed and hid in our bedroom when Grayson messaged him saying he needed to talk to him urgently.

Urgent my ass. All I could hear were two male voices laughing persistently. Take a fucking break from each other. I ordered pizza, which was eaten quickly, Jack getting himself a small plate, only consisting of 2 slices, and hurrying back to his room. Of course.

After scrolling through miles of boring Instagram content, I shut off my phone and got off the sofa, walking to the room and grabbing my swimming trunks from my bag, not giving Jack the time of day as he chatted away to Grayson about their favourite song or some shit like that.

I stepped on the wooden patio outside after sliding the glass door open, eyes wide as I pulled the lid of the hot tub off only to discover a variety of lights from underneath the water illuminating the surrounding area. Steam wafted through the air, dancing in the soft breeze of the night. Dipping my finger in to test the heat, I finally jumped in, instantly feeling relieved of the stress and jealously that drifted out of my body into the humid atmosphere. My muscles were relaxing, goose bumps raising across my tanned skin as I let my body succumb to the high temperatures of the water. My eyes fell closed, only listening to the trees waving and twigs snapping in the distance.

My peace was obviously interrupted when the soft hums of nature were overpowered by harsh screeches of the glass door opening, a timid and self-conscious Jack stood at the beginning of the wooden patio, waiting reticently for my approval to let him get in.

"You coming or are you just going to stand there?" I leaned my head back against the edge of the hot tub again, feeling disturbance in the water as Jack gently sat on the edge and put one leg in, whilst resting the other injured leg on the edge too. He didn't say anything at first, as though he was scared to talk. To be honest, after spending the whole night on facetime to Grayson, he is lucky I find him too cute to fucking drown right this second. That brought the question to my mind, why was Jack here? "Why have you suddenly decided to come out?" I spoke, not moving my head from the edge as my eyes gazed up at the abyss of black, dotted with a few in pricks of stars.

"Oh, w-well I um- I, the i-internet just s-st-stopped working."

Is he fucking kidding me? He didn't even come out here just to see me. He came out here just because he could no longer call Grayson anymore. This fucking boy is going to kill me, I swear.

I rolled my eyes, clenching my jaw to refrain from exploding with some stupid unnecessary comments. "Right, of fucking course."

His head lowered, a sadness overwhelming him by the looks of it. How could one simple gesture of dropping your head make you look so lovable? I felt the frustration dissipate and took deep breaths, once again allowing the comfort of the water to hug me tightly.

"How's your leg feeling?" I took the prevailing thought of killing Grayson out of my head and focused on Jack, watching as his fingers twisted a thin thread that had frayed from the bandage still secured around his leg.

"O-oh, it is okay now. Katherine g-gave me some painkillers and s-so I c-can't really feel it anymore." He stuttered. I'm sure he was still in pain. I mean, I never saw the injury before it was covered in bandages, but I saw the tissue, doused in blood. The familiar feeling of nausea once again flooding my body, recklessly.

"I love it h-here, like I really really love it." Jack spoke, eyes gazing into the darkness around us in awe. I have to give it to him; this place was pretty but his admiration over the smallest things planted butterflies in my stomach. His eyes were wide, taking in every feature of the surroundings like it were magical.

"It's great. We should come here without parents one day. Preferably when you're not injured so that you can actually enjoy the divinities of this hot tub." Jack instantly beamed with happiness, eyes becoming bright with colour.

"R-really?" You'd like that?" He questioned. Fucking hell, this boy is oblivious. How does he know that I have gone from barely being able to stomach a hug with people to literally sleeping with Jack cuddled up to me all night? How does he not pick up on my fascination for him? I generally don't think I could come up with a better scenario than Jack spending all weekend in a cabin with me, alone.

"I would." I confirmed, only making his grin bigger, which I did not think was possible.

It was silent momentarily, which led to us picking up on a loud noise coming from the woods. Although we both knew it was only likely to be an animal, Jack and I jumped slightly, however, because of how awkwardly Jack was sitting, his body slipped off the edge, falling directly into the water.

As if Jack hadn't already been through enough today, he began to struggle under water. My body instantly kicked into action, pushing off the edge of the hot tub and reaching under to grab Jack's squirming body and yanking him up. As soon as his face had came up past the surface of the water, he promptly began coughing, water spilling from his mouth as he battled to breath. Grabbing behind his head and under his legs, I wrapped his body close to mine and stood up, quickly stumbling into our bedroom and laying him down on the bed. His eyes were red raw, chlorine from the tub stinging. I crawled onto the bed next to him and sat him up, patting him back as he simultaneously coughed, still struggling to get rid of the water that polluted his lungs.

After a short minute, he was finally okay, his chest rising and falling heavily as he took deep breaths.

"You don't get a break, do you?" I smiled, trying to lighten the mood as I helped him lay down again.

"S-sorry." He let out a small laugh, still feeling pain in his chest. His laugh was halted when he moved his leg, only to feel the water seeping though the now soaking bandage.

"Oh shit, I'll go get another bandage or plaster or something, I don't know. There has to be a first aid kit here, surely?" Even though Jack immediately requested that it was okay, I set off anyways, rummaging through the kitchen until I found a green box, labelled with a massive white cross and the letters "FIRST AID" just below. To my luck, there was a plaster, big enough to cover the cut, hopefully, so I carried it into the bedroom. I unwrapped his wet bandage, relieved when I realised the staff at the rink were correct, although it looked painful, Jack's cut was only small, measuring about 2 inches long.

He hesitated in letting me help him but gave in quickly, laying still so I could place the plaster over the cut promptly. However, in the process of doing so, I noticed something. In all the chaos of the past few minutes, Jack's, or rather my, swimming trunks had ran up his leg, bunching at his thighs. This meant that a long thick scar running from the left side to the right of his upper thigh was now visible for my inspection.

Jack never noticed at first, instead, keeping his eyes firmly shut as he tried to relax his burning lungs but when all movements halted on Jack's cuts, his eyes opened, curious to see what was keeping me from continuing. His eyes followed mine, only for his jaw to drop open. I have never seen Jack move so quickly, hastily jumping up and pulling the short leg down so the scar was now hidden, cheeks blood shot red.

"Jack, what's wrong?" I tried to get a sense of what was going on in his head, why he was so panicked, why he was so insistent on not letting my wandering eyes getting a closer look.

"I-I uhm, i-it wa- I uh-n" Jack stuttered like he had never before, mouth repeatedly going to open before slamming back shut again when no words were coming out.

"Hey, hey, it's okay." I crawled onto the bed to where he was fidgeting and took him in my arms, feeling content when he finally melted into me, arms tightly gripping at my back, since both of us were yet to put a top back on, and small whimpers were falling from his precious mouth. This only made me hold him with a tenser clutch, letting him know that I was there, and that it was okay.

After around ten minutes of Jack grasping onto me for dear life, he finally pulled back, a ring of redness and tears laced around his eyes and rosy blotches dotted across his now puffy cheeks. He looked like he was about the say something, but then he just laid back, head falling against the pillow lightly. So, naturally, I laid down too, finding myself most comfortable right next to him. We were now both laying on our backs, shoulder to shoulder, eyes glued to the bizarrely painted ceiling of the room.

"It was about a year a-ago." Jack took an audible deep breath, getting his shit together, presumably, before continuing. "Things w-with my uh," He stopped for a second, almost like the word he was about to say next was stuck in his throat, "parents were b-bad at t-this point, like really bad, l-like not having food for d-days and never buying me any n-new school uniform. M-my school uniform was old, like it h-had holes and tears and s-stains but they refused to buy me any new things. It wasn't the f-fact that they didn't h-have any money," He cleared his throat, undoubtedly growing confidence in his story telling as his stuttering reduced. "They really did have money, they w-went away every s-single weekend, literally every single weekend, and they did things like long weekend h-holidays to Spain or-or Italy or going to a cabin l-like this one. B-but they never ever took me, they would leave me in the house for days with the b-bare minimum to live off."

I wish I had met his parents; I might possibly have killed them.

"But anyways, I h-had to go to s-school with these old clothes on every day and obviously, I got picked on for it b-by this g-group. It was like two boys and two g-girls, I can't remember, and they n-never really did anything physical to me, expect for one t-time, it was more just they stopped me from making any friends, they m-marginalised me from the entire school, including t-teachers. They would always start rumours too, just silly stuff but it made everyone l-look down on me."

I turned my head to face Jack, watching his Adam's apple rise and fall as he swallowed harshly, a desperate attempt to compose himself. He looked so sad though, so utterly damaged. I could see a pool of moisture nest to his head where his tears had been falling. It broke my heart.

"It was bad but I just got through it, one day, though, it was really bad. My parents hadn't spoken to me in uhm days now and I had just gotten back from walking home f-from school and they were there. The kids who m-made my life a living hell were in my living room, having this weirdly overly excited conversation. My mum, she was uhm, she was laughing, like she was having the best time of her life, and she was being polite. She was giving these t-teenagers this kindness that she had never shown her son, ever. It was so u-unfamiliar to me and hearing the boys and girls joke back, it was too much for me. Something jus-just clicked."

He suddenly paused, struggling to find the power to continue. Whilst speaking, his voice was laced with jealously, a feeling I was now familiar with, he wanted his parents affection and never got it. That's all he wanted. All he wanted were parents to even just give him the slightest bit of affection and attention, was that too much to ask for?

"Hey, it's okay, you can keep going." I softly spoke, reaching down and clasping Jack's hand in mine as a form of reassurance. His hand welcomed mine and he held onto it tightly. Tears still leaking tenderly from his enflamed eyes, he nodded slightly, breathing out once more and then resuming.

"Our front door d-directly lead to the uhm kitchen so I did something rash. I was just so angry about how my p-par-parents treated them; I was jealous. I was so fucking jealous, and angry, and sad."

My heart dropped as I heard Jack utter a swear word for the first time ever, it didn't feel right coming from his innocent mouth. I guess it just highlighted how much this event really damaged him.

"So I grabbed a knife from the kitchen and shoved it in my school bag and then left. I cried and I walked, and I cried some more until I ended u-up at s-some forest place. I had never seen it before but to be honest, I never r-really left the house so it didn't surprise me. So, I went in. I stumbled around for a while until I found a really big log and I just sat on the dirt, with my b-back leaning against this log, and cried even more. I was dizzy, and my eyes were stinging like acid were in them, and I wasn't thinking straight, so I grabbed the knife. I don't think I wanted to end my life, I didn't know what I wanted, I think I just needed some m-method of release."

At this point, hearing Jack talk about one of the lowest points of his life, his voice intoxicated with vulnerability, I couldn't help but feel my eyes glisten with salty tears too. Hearing Jack so broken was like a bullet to my heart, and I know I've said this before but it really did hurt. It was a physical pain that latched onto my heart, pressing ruthlessly against my ribcage.

"So, I took the knife and held it to my wrist. But then I actually thought about what I was doing, I didn't want people to k-know what I was going though. I didn't want sympathy and the first thought was that people would be able to see it if it were on the wrist. Therefore, I pulled the knife away from my wrist and placed it against my leg. The scary part was that I wasn't scared, Dalton, I wasn't scared of hurting myself, I wanted it so bad. I pressed it hard against my thigh and let it rip though my school trousers and skin, and I just kept pressing harder until it went numb. I only began to panic and realise what I had actually done when I saw the blood spewing out. There was so much of it, pouring out of the cut like a faucet, and I freaked out. I know I shouldn't have b-been so scared because I brought it on myself, but I was petrified. I dug around my bag for my phone and called for an ambulance. I hid the knife and told them I fell and cut it and although they were suspicious, they simply stitched it up a-and let me go. They did call my p-parents and advise that they come and get me, but of course, my mother made up an excuse, leading to me walking a mile-long distance home on crutches with a freshly sewed up cut." He finally let out a breath he had been holding in and turned to me, he looked utterly ashamed of himself.

Sitting though that story, feeling Jack tighten his grip on my hand every time he thought of something negative, hearing his slight whimpers when he spoke about his parents, made me sick, guilt lingering in my stomach. Why couldn't I have found him a year ago? My eyes too were bloodshot and sore from crying. Why did Jack have to go through that? Why did he have to go through anything bad? Why couldn't have I switched positions with him? Because I would, in a heartbeat.

We had both turned now, laying on our sides so that we were facing each other, silence dwelling in the air, but honestly, I didn't know what to say.

"Do you want to know why I t-told Grayson that and not you?" Not really, I don't want to know that Grayson is a better person, more trustworthy, not right now, at least.

"Mhm?" I answered a little dryly. This moment felt too sentimental to be bringing up that weirdo.

"I lied to him, Dalton." Now this caught my attention, it isn't what I expected him to say. "It turns out, by a w-weird turn of events, he saw me at the hospital on crutches that day and asked about it, so I told him I fell and sliced my leg open. I lied to him and I never told you b-bec-because I can't lie to you. Not after everything you've done for me, I wouldn't ever be able to lie to y-you. You mean too much to me."  There was a hummingbird fluttering relentlessly in my chest, making me feel all sorts of overwhelming happiness.

I did mean more to Jack than Grayson did.

I really did mean something to Jack.

I meant something to Jack. I wanted to shout it. I wanted to get on top of this rusty fucking cabin and scream it from the top of my lungs. I wanted the entire world to know.

"Come here." I prompted, outstretching my arm for Jack to find comfort in. He did so, without complaint, shuffling his body until his head was laying on my chest, his strawberry shampoo scent divinely filling my nose.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of, you know that, right?" I breathed, my hand finding its way to Jack's back to rub circles soothingly over it. He didn't reply though, only his breathing became heavier. "You may feel ashamed, but I'm proud, I hope you know that. Not everyone would have made it, but not everyone is strong like you, Jack. You made it, okay?" He shifted his body slightly, pulling his arm from underneath his body and placing it over my chest, which sent my heart slightly into overdrive. "You're not in that situation anymore, you made it. It's better now." I held on to him as tight as I could, finding comfort in having his bare skin glued to mine.

He looked up at me for a second, a sad smile portrayed over his face. We were so close, I could feel his breath hit my skin, I could see his pupils dilate when his eyes met mine, I could see each one of his individual eyelashes. I broke the strong eye contact when he bit his lip,

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net