I slammed open the door to the apartment, not caring about how loud the bang was. Rage was fueling me, embedded deep within my mind as I recalled my conversation with that old hag. She had no right to tell me anything, but that's not what angered me the most.

It was horrible, her telling me about Keigo's past without his permission, but what I hated even more was that she thought I would leave him. How could I judge someone based on what they did and not what they're doing when I'd done such horrible things myself. I've wronged so many people and I've killed even more; The blood of countless people stained my hands crimson.

Did I come off as the person who would leave someone just over what someone did in the past? Is that why Keigo and Dabi haven't told me about who they used to be; Because they think that I'll just up and leave when I find out?

Thinking like that isn't going to do shit for me right now. They both have their reasons for not telling me and I have to respect that. For now I'll need to wait for Keigo to get home so I can talk to him about it; I'll let him know that it doesn't change my view on him, that even after everything he's done I'm still his baby bird.

All I can do is let him know that I'm right here to talk if he wishes to do so. We've experienced horrible things, our pasts riddled with pains most people will ever feel. Though they may be different in many ways they're the same at their blood soaked roots of regret. No matter how badly I want to take away all his pain, I can't. So I'll do my best to sooth it and clean his still open wounds.

"You okay (Y/N)?" A sudden voice jolted me out of my thoughts. Eyes shooting to the kitchen I saw my short, familiar friend enjoying some of the leftover ramen from the night before last. "You've been standing at the door for five minutes now. Didn't even acknowledge my presence."

"Honestly, I don't think I've ever been okay." Going into the kitchen, I slumped down into a stool beside her. Laying my jacket on the counter I used it as a pillow for my head. After a minute of stuffing my face into the soft black material, I turned my head to the side so that I could actually breath. "But right now I'm just pissed off."

"So you want to explain why I got a worrying message from you? Because I rushed over here thinking that you were in trouble, but by the looks of it you're physically fine. Mentally maybe not." She slurped at her ramen, holding my gaze as she ate the salty food.

I sighed, hesitating to tell her anything. There was a possibility of me slipping up and revealing parts of Keigo's past, something I didn't want to do. Telling her anything at all was dangerous within itself, who knows if the commission bugged the apartment. It's very unlikely but not impossible.

I'll have to be careful and choose my words in just the right way to tell her what happened but not let any of my beloved blondes secrets out. For years of training in the art of conversation, it still brought an odd feeling of anxiety that settled in the pits of my stomach. Gnawing its way through my composed look and revealing how unsure I was about my words.

Every word I spoke was chosen carefully as if I'd flipped through a catalog to find just the right way to say this. Emiko must have picked on the fact that I was hiding something by the time I finished telling her everything. Her quirk had raked through my mind and picked out every emotion I was feeling: Anxiety, skittishness, and that slight sense of anger. Though she did know this wasn't the whole story, she didn't pry: Something I was thankful for.

"So the head of the commission wanted to talk to you." She repeated to herself, the words just an empty thought. "Do you think they know about your relations with Phoenix?"

"They didn't even mention Phoenix once. Though I wouldn't be surprised if they did know; The police department probably passed along any information they gathered. A lot of that will come from me."

Emiko got up and washed her dish, not speaking a single word. Both of us were thinking about what this meant. What did this mean for my relationship with Keigo, and where did Dabi play into all this? They knew about him, they had been following us yesterday so they have to. Would they heed my warning and leave us alone or would there be another person attempting to hurt not only me, but all of us?

What was Emiko thinking about? Was she wondering how long it'd be until the commission came and took me away for questioning. Maybe she was thinking of how to prevent that from happening if it ever did. All I know from the thin-lipped look on her face is that she's trapped deep in a well of thoughts- every second going deeper into the murky pool of ideas and uncertainties.

We both had different things on our mind; She was worrying about me while I was worrying about Keigo and Dabi. That was probably smart, someone had to look out for a reckless fool such as myself. She'd watch my back as long as she could, and I would do the same for her and everyone else I care about. No matter what the commission throws at us, we'll be able to handle it. We're all a team now, aiming for the same goal: To get through this hell alive.

"It'd be best for you to start going to work with someone, being out alone that early in the morning isn't the smartest idea." Emiko said, continuing to wash the dirty dishes in the sink. She seemed to not want to meet my gaze so instead she attempted to do anything but look at me. "The commission may seem good to most people but I've worked with them enough to know that they aren't good people."

"I know that part. Not many 'good' people follow you and force you to come with them." Sure some might do that, but in this case I sure as hell knew they weren't in the right. "Guess Hawks can drop me by the office in the mornings - Assuming he's here."

Emiko nodded, her blue hair bouncing atop her head with the motion. She looked peaceful yet so anxious, every movement of her body was filled with nervousness.

"You're worried aren't you?" Lifting my head up I stared at the back of her head, she could feel my gaze but didn't turn around. At moments like these I wished I could read people like she could; Maybe then I'd know just what she needed from me.

She turned off the water, hands resting on the edge of the counter as she ducked her head down. "Of course I'm worried." Her voice was full of defeat, something I'd never heard from the peppy girl in front of me. "We haven't known each other for long, but you're one of my best friends. If the commission wants something they'll stop at nothing to get it."

This conversation was going in a direction I didn't like. She doesn't need to worry over something like this. No one needs to worry unless the commission actually tries to do something to me or any of us.

"Hey Emiko," I slid off my stool and walked to the hallway that would lead to my room, "There's something I want to show you."

From behind me I could hear her feet quietly pat against the hardwood floors, she followed me all the way into my messy room. Her onyx eyes wandered around the room to take in her surroundings. Every small thing seemed to capture her eyes.

I pulled my wings up against my back so that they wouldn't accidentally knock anything over. Walking over to my perfectly made bed (It's been a while since I'd slept in this room) I flopped down beside my pillow. Patting the spot beside me I motioned for her to come and sit.

With her sitting beside me I reached into my bedside drawer and pulled out a black book. It felt heavy in my hand; It was a sinful memory from my past that I'd refused to part with. Everything else I left behind but this is the one thing I kept. So many people had lost their lives because of the things inside of this book, inside of my book.

"The night after the mission, I told you all about my past. I told you about how much pain they put me through and how it still scars me. But I never told you about the good times."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I'm guessing by the way you said that they weren't entirely good."

"Nope." I said popping the p as I opened my journal, flipping through pages filled to the brim with drawings and writing. Every single one held a different idea: Ideas that I had made when I started tinkering with Cane. "They weren't painful for me. No training or ripping of my wings. Actually they were the opposite."

Flopping back on the bed I stared at the ceiling, Emiko's dark eyes trailed along my body as if trying to understand me without using her quirk. Soon I felt that crawling sensation in my mind, her quirk shuffling through my emotions, but I blocked it out. Putting up a metal wall that shut out a small innocent girl.

"Thing is I didn't realize how many other people I was hurting until now." Without sitting up I handed the journal to Emiko, her small hands grabbing the object and flipping through the pages. "Every single one of those inventions is created by me, and most of them are meant to kill. Cane always liked looking at my ideas, and he even more so enjoyed bringing them to life. People died at the hand of my creations."

"(Y/N)-" The girl tried to cut me off, her voice soft as if it were a carpet protecting a piece of glass from shattering as it toppled to the floor.

"I'm telling you this so that you know what I've done. You're scared that the commission will hurt me but your fear should be the other way around. If anything happens to Dabi or Hawks, I'm not sure if I'll be able to hold myself back. People will die and it will be my fault. You should know that I've killed people before you decide to stick around with me."

Her hand rested on my thigh, gently rubbing up and down in a comforting way. The sensation of her quirk left my mind as she read my words to understand the pain in every sentence. "So? I'd rather have you alive than those bastards anyway. Your past doesn't mean shit when they forced you to do most of those things."

"But they didn't!" I shot up and threw my hands in the air in exasperation. "Those inventions were mine and mine alone. I created them for fun. I'm surviving off their blood, using it to re-hydrate my soul."

"They're dead!" She argued. "They aren't here but you are. Phoenix brought these inventions to life and used them for their own advantage. You may have made them but that doesn't mean you wanted those people to die."

Was she right? I've come to terms with most of everything that happened with Phoenix but this one thing has gnawed its way through my mind, tearing away at the supports that hold my mind up. Images of my inventions ingrained themselves as I imagined them being used on actual people. My date with Dabi had brought back a lot of these memories, bringing up horrible ideas of pain and torture.

"But- So many people are gone. Their families are grieving because I created something that killed them. I'm a monster. The commission asked me to leave Hawks and maybe I should because it'll keep him safe from my past."

A sharp pain flooded my cheek and the sound of a slap echoed through the room, Emiko had her hand raised. After a couple of seconds the realization sank in: She had slapped me. "Did you just-"

"Oh shut it." She said, voice filled with determination. "You've killed people. You've created bad things. But holy shit you're trying to fix it. You aren't a bad person (Y/N); In fact you're one of the best people I know. So don't talk like that. We'll get through this."

"So many people-"

"So many people died from Phoenix, not from you. They built the inventions that you thought of. You never asked for them to be made real."

I let out a shaky laugh, using most of my strength to stay composed and cool in the face of sadness. "I can't believe you slapped me. Remind me of the first day we met."

"I should've slapped you a little bit harder that day." She scratched the back of her neck. "Maybe it could've knocked some sense into you."