I knock on Will's door, because I don't want to face anyone else. He's in bed, reading a little orange paperback, but he puts it down when I walk in and shut the door behind me.

'Jane,' he says. 'How you feeling after last night? You okay?'

'No,' I say. 'I'm not okay. But that doesn't matter. Is Matt trans?'

Will sits up. 'Yeah,' he says. 'He was assigned female at birth.'

I throw the sheets of paper on Will's bed, and he snatches them from me. Some flare of what looks like panic crosses Will's face as he grabs at them. His hair is unkempt and he's wearing a big grey jumper. Everything in Will's bedroom is grey - his bedding, his curtains, and his clothes.

Will stares at the pages, and then looks up at me. 'He was writing a memoir.' The way he says it, it sounds like a question.

'Yeah,' I say. 'He wrote a memoir. Someone wants to publish it.'

'What are you talking about?'

'There was mail for Matt, ages ago,' I say. 'From a publisher, saying they'd received his memoir and want to publish it. I asked Ed about it and he said he'd forward the letter onto Matt, but I'm not sure he did. Do you think Ed would be so evil that he'd hide that from Matt? And I'm starting to think maybe Ed stole Matt's laptop.'

'What do you mean, Matt's laptop?' Will says. His voice is trembling.

'You know how Ed has Matt's laptop?'

Will throws the sheets back, and I realise he's not wearing pyjama bottoms, but he doesn't seem to care. Hairy, bare legs and all, Will throws himself off his bed and past me, out of his room, and across the hall to Ed's.

Ed is in his room, and I realise with a jolt that no one has opened the bookshop today. But clearly, hungover Ed doesn't seem to care.

'Where is Matt's laptop?' Will's voice is almost a yell as he storms into Ed's bedroom. Ed scrambles into a seated position.

'What?' he says, and he looks at me. 'Jane, are you okay?'

I hover in the doorway, unsure what's happening.

'Where's Matt's laptop?' Will repeats, and Ed points to his wardrobe.

Will throws it open, and yanks the black laptop out from the top shelf. He lands on Ed's bed and snaps the laptop open.

'Will, I don't know the password,' Ed says gently.

'Well you didn't think to ask me?' Will cries. 'It's the same password as his Netflix. You didn't realise that? I'm still using his fucking Netflix.' And suddenly Will's words get swallowed in a sob.

I sit down on the bed beside Will and watch as he types a password into the computer. It unlocks, and Will stares at the desktop background for a moment before double clicking on a Word document on the desktop. He gasps as he does so, and puts his face into his hand.

'What's going on?' I murmur, looking over Will's sobbing frame, at Ed.

But Ed pulls the laptop out of Will's grip and stares at the title of the document he's opened.

Of its Constant Hunger

A memoir, by Matthew Lyndon-Reed.

'This is Matt's memoir,' Ed says, and his voice betrays some kind of shocked emotion. 'I didn't know it was all right here.'

'You had his laptop this whole time and you didn't tell me,' Will says, and he sobs again. And Will rips the laptop out of Ed's grip, stands up, and marches out of Ed's room, and back to his own. I stare at his retreating backside, and watch as he slams the door. Then I turn to Ed.

'What's...'

'Jane,' Ed says. 'I'm sorry about last night. You were really drunk and you were upset. I hope I didn't upset you at all.'

'You didn't,' I say. 'Ed, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get that drunk.'

Ed takes a breath, then brings his knees up, and wraps his arms around his knees. 'I didn't realise there was a whole memoir.'

'I didn't realise Matt was trans, Ed. I didn't realise all that stuff about your parents not accepting him. That must have been really tough for him,' I say.

'Yeah,' Ed replies. 'I don't know if I want to read about it all. I don't know if I can.'

'Well shouldn't you ask Matt before you read his memoir, anyway?' I ask. 'Maybe he doesn't want you to read it.'

Ed shakes his head. 'Are you feeling okay today?'

I mirror Ed's pose - bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. 'I feel shit,' I say. 'Because of last night. Because of Kitty.'

'Kitty?' Ed says.

'I'm sorry I was so drunk last night,' I say. 'And I'm sorry I kissed you. That was a really drunk, stupid thing to do.'

'It doesn't matter,' Ed says. 'Are you angry with Kitty because she kissed Harper?'

I close my eyes. 'I don't know. No. I'm angry with Kitty because she told Harper that I cheated on my ex-boyfriend. And he ignored me all of this last week because he believed her story about me.'

'She lied?'

'No,' I say. 'She told the truth. But it wasn't her truth to tell.'

'Harper shouldn't have judged you for that,' Ed says. 'Look, don't worry. I'll talk to Kitty. We'll work it out. She loves you, and I'm sure she'll realise what she's done and she'll be so sorry.'

'No, Ed. I don't want you to talk to Kitty. I just don't think I should be around her anymore. I don't think being around Kitty is healthy for me, right now.'

'What do you mean?'

I take a breath. 'I don't think I can work here anymore, Ed.'

I realise, as I'm saying it, that I'm quitting my job while sitting, hungover, in my pyjamas on my manager's bed, after kissing him last night. It's all so wrong.

'Jane, you can't quit. This thing with Kitty isn't the end of the world.'

'Look,' I say, and I try to smile. 'Maybe this is a sign. You've got Matt's memoir. You can read it. Maybe you can forgive him for whatever he did. Or maybe he can forgive you. Or whatever. And if I quit, you can hire him again. I think this was meant to be. He can come back.'

'He can't come back, Jane,' Ed says firmly.

'I know you keep saying that,' I say. 'But I really believe...'

Ed interrupts me. 'He can't come back, Jane. I'm serious. Matt can't come back. He's dead.'

• Author's Note •

Thanks for reading! What are your thoughts on these big reveals?

And a more light-hearted question for you...

What's your favourite Harry Potter movie? And what's your favourite HP book?

Please don't forget to vote before you go on!

elle xx