"Are you sure this looks fine, Addison? I don't need to do something different? You can tell me, promise," Tyler asked me over the phone as I continued brushing my teeth. It had been a little over a month since he left and we were doing pretty well given the circumstances. Once things started slowing down, we started video calling more often and even watched TV shows or movies together or did homework since the school was made aware of his situation and sent him everything he needed. Of course it didn't hold a candle to having him physically here with me, but I was grateful for all the things we were able to do.

I lightly chuckled before I spat out my toothpaste. I held my toothbrush between my teeth as I picked up my phone from its position leaning against the wall on the sink ledge and looked at him. He was wearing a simple dark blue suit with a white shirt underneath and a maroon tie. His hair was pulled up and the necklace I'd gotten him was tucked beneath his collar.

I smiled at him as I took the toothbrush out of my mouth. "You look perfectto."

"Thanks," he said as he looked down at himself. I could practically feel his nerves radiating through the phone. Today he was going to testify against his mother, a day he'd been dreading since the day she crashed back into his life unwelcome and unannounced.

"Hey, babe, look at me."

He lifted his gaze back to me.

"I know this is going to be hard, but you've got this. You've had mock trials and counseling. More importantly, you have your truth, and that's something that nothing and no one can take away from you. You'll make her and the judge see, just follow what your lawyer tells you to do and you'll be golden, okay?"

He nodded as he sighed and looked at me. "I wish I could hold you right now. That would make me feel a million times better."

I offered him a small grin. "I wish I could hold you too, Ty, and we'll be able to do that in no time, okay? Just keep your head up."

"Alright," he said just as his father called him from somewhere off-screen. "Ok, I gotta go. Have a good day and I'll keep you updated. I love you."

"I love you too, babe. Just breathe and pray."

"Will do," he said with a solemn grin before the line clicked dead. I found myself releasing a breath I hadn't known I was holding as I rinsed off my toothbrush and put it away. Moments like this made me want to drop everything and get to him, even if I had to run over a thousand miles to get there. But I couldn't. So instead I closed my eyes and clasped my hands together.

"Lord, please be with Tyler and his father today as they start the process of getting custody. Please give them the strength and encouragement that they need, and if they falter, pick them up. They deserve better than anything that monster could give them. Tyler deserves better. So please, Lord, bless them and help them come out victorious. Thank you for all You've done, You're doing, and all You're going to do. In Your son Jesus' name I pray, amen."

Once I was done, I opened my eyes and dropped my hands as I looked at myself in the mirror trying to calm myself down about a situation I had no control of. Though the prayer did make me feel better, it didn't completely eradicate all of my nerves. After a few moments of trying (and failing) to calm myself down, I did my skincare routine before I finished getting ready for school. It was crazy to think that Tyler had left on December 18th and now I was in the early days of February. The thought caused a small break in my heart due to how long it'd been and how much he still had to battle. Maybe I could convince my parents to let me see him over Spring Break in a few weeks if the judge's decision took as long as they'd predicted.

I got dressed in one of Tyler's hoodies– per usual– along with a pair of sweats and a denim jacket. I grabbed a large puffer jacket to go over it to combat New York's unforgiving coldness then threw on some shoes. I grabbed my backpack before I stalked out of my room and into the kitchen where Azalea was waiting for me, eating a bowl of cereal.

"Ready to go?" I asked as I grabbed an apple, not having it in me to stomach anything else.

"Yeah. Wait, is that all you're going to eat?"

"Yep, now come on, we don't want to be late," I said before she could chastise me about my lack of a "real breakfast". The action reminded me of the countless times Tyler had gotten onto me about the same thing and always urged me to eat more. I usually never listened to him– I was stubborn like that– but moments like this made me desperately wish I had.

The break in my heart grew deeper.

It felt like I was floating as we traveled to school, but not in a good way. I felt myself slowly disconnecting from the world as an all too familiar dark cloud made itself comfortable within my heart.

Yep, I was slipping into another depression.

And what made it even worse is that I was 100% aware of what was going on with me, yet I couldn't do anything about it. I'd just have to wait it out.

"Addi, you're doing it, aren't you?" Azalea asked as we walked into school.

"Doing what?" I deadpanned, though it wasn't a very convincing performance.

Instead of responding, she merely hugged me. "You've been doing so well these past few weeks. Don't give up on yourself now," she whispered into my ear before the hug broke. "And get out of here every once in a while," she said with a light tone as she pointed to my head. "The rest of us need you out here."

I slightly scoffed as the hug broke. "I'll try."

She offered me one more small smile before she was swallowed into the throng of students, likely to go meet Josh, whom I still hadn't interrogated yet.

After she'd completely disappeared, I found myself pondering over what to do with my morning. I could either go meet with the boys, or spend some time in the studio that was miraculously still unlocked despite the fact that Ty had been gone for a while and, as I've heard, the teacher hadn't assigned a new TA yet. I hadn't gone in there since the first week of school. Sitting in the room that had once held so much intimacy between Tyler and I without him being there felt wrong and empty. But it also brought me a weird sense of comfort by reminding me of all the good times while my lips and neck tingled from phantom kisses. But before I could make the decision, I saw Ian approaching me with a smile on his face and his arm slung over Lelani's shoulders. It was a rare sight to see them separated nowadays. Per usual, she looked absolutely gorgeous with little makeup other than her eyebrows and mascara. Her hair was freely flowing in thick waves that stopped at her shoulders. The night before, Ian had told me over text that she was teaching him how to twist out her hair, and based on what I saw and what I'd learned from Azalea, it had turned out pretty good.

"Hey, blondie. How are you doing?" Ian asked as he momentarily left Lelani's side to quickly dap me up.

I frowned. "Stop calling me that. My hair is more brown than blonde."

"But you're still technically blonde," he defended in a sing-song voice. "And besides, the more you tell me to stop, the more I have to call you it."

I rolled my eyes before I turned to Lelani, ignoring Ian as he sang "blondie" over and over again. "How are you, Lay?"

"Good. How are you? And I'm sorry about him. He's–"

"Ian," she and I said at the same time, causing us both to laugh as Ian let out an offended "hey!"

"I'm fine. I'm just going through one of those really shitty phases when I miss Ty a lot and it hurts. Today's a really important day for him and I hate that I can't be there," I confessed. I'd told her about my situation with Tyler a while ago without going into full details, and I was slowly getting used to the whole "not bottling everything inside" thing. It was still hard sometimes, as evident by Azalea's reminder to stay out of my own head, but I was trying. But I was not going around telling everyone, by any means. Other than Ian, Lelani, and my family, no one else knew exactly what was going on, and I planned on keeping it that way unless Tyler decided that he wanted otherwise.

She frowned as she pulled me into a hug and I had to admit that Lelani gave some of the best hugs I'd ever gotten. "I'm sorry, babe. I hope you feel better, I really do."

"Yeah," Ian agreed as he wrapped his arms around both of us, sobering up from his usual childish antics. "If you're looking for a distraction, we can meet the boys in a bit. You know they're always doing or talking about the weirdest shit."

I chuckled as the hug broke. "Yeah, I think I need their weirdness for once."

"We're also planning on walking around a bit and go to Believe It or Not and then Madame T's if you wanted to come with," Lelani added.

I instantly shook my head. "No, I don't want to intrude."

Ian scoffed. "You won't be. It's not a date or anything. Just exploring and revisiting our childhoods. Remember when we went to Madame T's and I nearly had a heart attack because I thought the Taylor Swift wax figure was real and I started crying?"

I laughed. "Yeah, you were like eight and still didn't understand the concept of wax figures. No, you did and you recognized that all of the other ones were fake but with Taylor, you somehow forgot about all of that."

He threw his hands up in defense before he slung an arm across Lelani's shoulders once more. "I went through a Taylor Swift phase and I was hoping I'd meet her and in my little eight-year-old brain, that wax figure was really her."

"My God. I'm dating a complete weirdo," Lelani joked.

I pitched a brow. "You're just now realizing that?"

Ian narrowed his eyes at me before flipping me off, which I lovingly returned.

"Alright you two lovebirds, let's go meet the boys. They're like my own living, breathing soap opera. So much drama and sexual tension," Lelani interrupted as she started pulling Ian in the direction of our usual meeting spot. Ever since the beginning of the year, Lelani had started hanging out with the boys when Ian was around and they absolutely adored her, though it was hard to find anyone who didn't love her. She fit right in.

"I know, right!" I agreed.

"Like Harry and Yusef need to start dating already. I mean you see the way they look at each other and are all up on each other?" Lelani continued, causing Ian to cringe.

"I can barely stand Addi and Ty all on each other all the time, let alone anyone else. Therefore, I'm officially banning any more inter-team relationships."

I pitched a brow at him.

"Okay, whatever, Ian," she said before she turned to me and whispered, "I give them until the end of the semester."

I nodded in agreement, causing us to both laugh, though I don't think either of us truly believed the light-hearted gossip we were sharing. But who knows...?

Ian and Lelani started talking about other things as we continued toward the meeting spot, and though I tried my best to pay attention and contribute, my mind couldn't help but wander to Tyler.

I hoped he was doing okay.

I couldn't eat during lunchtime. No matter how many friends I surrounded myself with or how many distractions I buried myself in, my mind kept wandering back to Tyler and how important today was. I'd sent him little encouraging messages throughout the day, but I'd yet to get a response, not that I really expected one anyways. If I was in his shoes, my phone would be the last thing on my mind.

So, to avoid awkwardly sitting at the lunch table without eating, my legs carried me to a place that offered me equal parts tranquility as it did pain: the studio.

I slowly cracked open the door and peaked in. Once I confirmed no one was in there– which no one ever was– I quickly slid in and closed the door behind me. I threw my back on the floor and sunk into the couch before I wrapped my arms around myself. I buried my nose into the crook of my arm and in took Tyler's scent that still miraculously clung to the sweatshirt I'd worn a dozen times. I closed my eyes and allowed myself to imagine that he was there holding me. No words, no kisses, just his embrace.

I felt tears burn behind my closed eyelids, but I refused to let them fall. I just sat there pretending to be in his arms, pretending that everything was alright.

I was, unfortunately, pulled from my imagination when there was a light knock on the door. I instantly jumped up, my heart slamming in my chest. Who was it? If it was a teacher I'd definitely get in big trouble, and I wouldn't even be able to explain myself. I could've sworn I looked around to make sure no adult was near when I snuck in, so who on earth–

My thoughts were cut short when the door opened and revealed non-other than the girl that I used to love.

"Hey," she softly said with a wave as she crept in and quietly shut the door behind her.

I'd been avoiding her since she last dropped in on Tyler and myself and she looked different now. She's cut her hair so that it was now barely brushing her shoulders, and she's dyed her hair a light brown color. She was still as gorgeous as ever though, reminding me of one of the things I'd loved about her once upon a time. But I didn't feel that spark anymore. No joy, no sense of awe, no wondering how I was so lucky to have her.

I felt nothing but irritation and unease.

"What do you want?" I asked. Though she'd apologized, I still wasn't ready to fully forgive her. I didn't know when or if I'd ever be.

She put her hands up in surrender as she slowly approached me. "I just wanted to check on you. And before you say it, I know I don't even deserve to be talking to you right now, but I just wanted to make sure you're okay."

"And what makes you think I'm not?" I stoically asked, causing her to pitch a brow at me.

"Because, Addison, I know you. Very well, in fact. I can see the subtle look behind your eyes, plus, you've been playing with your hair a lot, which is something you only do when you're stressed or something's on your mind."

"What, have you been stalking me?" I asked, completely ignoring the other points she'd made.

"Call it distant observations," she said as she stopped about a foot in front of where I was standing. "And I noticed that Tyler hasn't been here. Is everything–"

"Don't ask me anything about him," I snapped as anger boiled within me. It was ironic to me that she'd viciously broken us up mere months ago, yet now she was concerned about our relationship status despite our clear message that we didn't want anything to do with her right now.

She sighed as she tugged on her earlobe and broke eye contact– one of her nervous tells. "Look, Addison, I just wanted to–"

"I don't care what you wanted to do, Kyra. I haven't forgiven you and neither has Tyler, so I don't know why you think you have the right to walk into my private space and talk to me like we're friends. We're not friends, Kyra. End of story."

A hurt look flashed across her face, and even I was kind of taken aback by my bluntness. Though a large part of me still deeply disliked her for what she did to us, a small part of me felt bad for being so rude to the girl I thought I would marry one day. Oh, how things have changed.

"Right, of course," she softly said. "I'll just go then." And without another word, she turned and left. I released a breath that I didn't realize I was holding as I slumped into the couch.

Maybe one day I'd be able to forgive her. Maybe one day we could even be something close to acquaintances. But that day was not today. So, I walked to the door, pushed in the little button to lock it, then crashed back onto the couch as I held myself and tried to convince myself that everything was okay.

Trying to convince myself that the boy I loved more than anything was with me.

***

Ugh, this chapter was kinda sad, but I promise the next chapter won't be. But yeah, it's insane to think that it's almost over, but I love this book and the characters of the "In My Heart" universe so much! Anyways, let me know what you thought of the chapter in the comments, and don't forget that the next chapter is already available on Inkitt using the Inkitt link in my bio! Furthermore, don't forget to leave questions for the character Q&A as well as requests for bonus chapters in Tyler's POV. But yeah, see you guys in the next update, and Merry Christmas Eve if you celebrate it!

Love y'all– Jordan