"Where's my love" by SYML

MATT'S POV:

I walk out of the house excited about my non-date with Leo, but just as I'm about to open the door, my mom calls me. I freaked out seeing as I had absolutely no ideia she was here, and ironically, she didn't even notice that her youngest son isn't home... what a great mom huh? 

I try not to loose my good mood as I walk to the kitchen to see what she wants,"yes?"

"Where are you going?"

"Out," I try to keep my answers short, so that this conversation can end soon and I can leave. Also, I want her to know that it's not really fun when someone talks to you like that, which is exactly what she does to me.

"With who?"

"A friend, who is waiting for me and I don't want to be impolite, so if you'll excuse me..."

I don't wait for her answer and just leave and make a run for Leo's car, who is waiting for me on the other side of the road. I can hear my mom calling me but I ignore her and just go to the car, trying not to make a scene.

I walk in and close the door, "Hey," I breathe out and give him a small smile.

"Hey, is that your mom calling you?" he asks, looking concerned.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, let's just go, " I smile. "Also, sorry I took so long."

"No worries. Also, you look nice," he says with a smile.

"Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself." And he didn't, he actually looked really nice. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a denim button up shirt, that hugged his upper body in all the right places, if I do say so myself (even though I'm a bit biased) and his oh so sexy leather jacket.

He laughs and we continue our ride with happy chatter and just listening to some of his music, which is pretty cool.

When I look out the window I notice we're in the middle of a forest. Weird, this is not what I had in mind.

"Are you secretly planning on kidnapping me and dumping my body in the middle of the woods? Should I be scared?" I ask.

"If I wanted to kill you I would have done it by now don't you think?" he teases with a smirk" C'mon, trust me."

And with that, he exits the car. I follow after him and we walk for about five minutes until we reach a clearing where a lake stands still, seeing as there isn't much wind right now. But the place was beautiful, there were flowers, even though it's at night, it's still just as beautiful as it would have been during the day, if not better. We must be a little far from the city because you can actually see some stars and it's absolutely gorgeous, even more when the so visible stars are reflected in the lake. This place is breathtaking, how did he even find this place?

I realize I must have zoned out for quite a while because when I look behind me to look for Leo, I notice he's layed out a blanket and has food and drinks on display. I smile and blush a little when I realise he actually prepared a little picknick for us.

Ugh, he's so confusing, he's giving me a lot of mixed feeling here! Not cool man, so not cool!

"So...what do you think of the place?" he asks.

"It's amazing! Literally breathtaking. How did you even find it?"

"I don't know, to be honest I was wonderin' around one day after I got in a fight with my dad and needed to cool down and so I got in my car and drove and...here we are."

"Wow, that's... yeah..."

He just gave me a little smile, but you could see it was genuine, it reached his eyes. His absolutely gorgeous green eyes. His eyes were the kind of green that mint ice cream gets jealous of. The kind of green that distracts you from everything around. The kind of green that pulls you in. So enticing that once you look, it takes all your strength to look away, because you don't want to miss the way the shade of green changes as his emotions do and are full on display on those stunning emerald green orbs.

"...hey! Matthew!You there?" Leo asks as he waves his hand in front of my eyes.

Oh no! Did I just stare at his eyes for this long?! Oh my God, he's gonna think I'm some freak stalker who just blanks and stops talking to just observe people. 

Or worse! He'll know I like him!

I'm brought back to the present again when I hear him laughing. I blush and look down. Did I seriously space out...again?! What is wrong with me today?

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask him.

"You are spacing out an awful lot today," he says and chuckles.

"Sorry, I also don't know why..." I say and smile shyly.

"Anyway, I realized I don't actually know that much about you and we've known each other for a while... so what better time than now, huh? What are your biggest ambitions? Your life goals?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"That's a pretty hard question. You could have gone for something a little easier maybe? "

I laugh and say," Ok, fine...favourite hobby?" Iask him.

"Umm...I don't know, I mean I like playing football, obviously, I'm in the team," he says as he starts taking food out of the basket."I didn't really know what to bring as food so I just made a ton of peanut butter jelly sandwiches... I hope you like it, I'm actually really good at making them..." 

"I love PB and jelly sandwiches, thank you very much."

"Good, I wouldn't want you to starve tonight," he jokes and gives me a soda.

"So...you didn't exactly answer my question..."

"Oh, right... I was kind of hoping you would forget that...I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to laugh..."

"I would never laugh at something someone else is passionate about. If you like it, then who cares what other people think. It's your life, your choice, not theirs."

"You're wiser than you look," he says and I smile. We finish eating our sandwiches and I move to sit with my back resting against a tree. Then I hear Leo shift and see him doing the same I did and now we're sitting closely, like really close. We're touching from thigh to shoulder. I mean, I'm not complaining but... makes me kind of nervous...

"So... you were saying," I bring back our topic of conversation.

"Right... I like to paint...anything really... mostly people, but also landscapes and animals and anything and everything, I love it. It's like I can create anything and while I'm doing it everything else just kind of disappears... I was actually  radiant when I found this place, man you should see the sunrises here. I mean, the sunsets are gorgeous too, but the sunrises are everything."

"Why would you be ashamed of that? That's beautiful, and you obviously love it."

"I don't know, my dad for example. We don't actually see eye to eye and he wants me to be a football player or, even worse, a lawer. And I'll never do that, ever. And because of that we fight a lot."

"That's terrible. Maybe you should make him understand how much it means to you, you know...art."

"Yeah...I tried, but it always ends up with us fighting and me coming here to think...or paint."

"Well then, I'm guessing your relationship with your dad isn't the best, huh?"

"I guess you could say that... but anyway, what about you? What's your life like? What do you like to do?"

"Well, I know I don't talk about it much, but I love astronomy. I love everyhting about space and stars and it actually kills me to know that there are people that don't believe that there's something else out there other than us. It's selfish to think we're the only creatures in the universe. We can't be, the universe is huge, so huge that we'll never be able to unravel everything about it and even if we do, it'll take centuries until our technology is developed enough to explore the beyond and it's quite sad to think I'm not gonna be there when that happens."

I stop then and realize he's looking at me.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling..."

"Don't you dare apologize," he says with such force that all I can do is smile and obey."What about your family? I mean, I know your brother and he's delightful but what about your parents? I've never seen them around the house"

"My dad died...about 5 months ago..."I say and look at Leo, waiting for him to say he's sorry like everyone else, but he doesn't and I appreciate it and he just looks at me and waits for me to continue so I do:

"He was my favourite person ever, he was my best friend and he supported me no matter what. And we were happy. Me, my mom, my dad and Chris. Everything was perfect. I mean, we fought, obviously, but we always made up and then we would go out and eat ice cream, because according to him, ice cream is the solution for everything. So that's that we were happy. But then one day...we were talking about me having a secret and needing to say something about it, so I did. I called everyone into the living room, told them to sit down and told them what's been on my mind for a few years. 'I'm gay'." After saying that I looked at him, looking for a sign that he would beat me up or call me out and call me disgusting, but again, he didn't, he just waited for me to continue.

"So I told them that and that I liked someone, that's how I knew...well, that and the fact that I never really liked girls... but they were ok. He was ok with it. My mom said she didn't understand but that se would try because I was her son and she loved me, but we fought and it didn't end well... so my dad, being the great person he was took me for ice cream and we talked and he was supportive and didn't care and that he loved me no matter what, because that wouldn't change the way I am, I was still the same person and I should never hide who I am.

"But, after that, we were going back home and some stupid drunk driver came and he hit us. My dad died on impact and I was in a coma for like two weeks, I think, and when I woke up my whole world was turned upside down. Macy and John were there the whole time, they supported me and helped me and I was so thankful to have friends like them.

But my mom...not so much. She's a nurse, so she's always working... always finding an excuse not to see me. She blames me, you know... for his death and now she's never there to look after Chris or me. And when she is, she makes sure I know it was because of me this happened. Because I came out, because I like guys. She makes sure I know that I'm a freak every time she sees me." 

"I don't thik you're a freak, I think you're absolutely beautiful."

And just like that we're kissing. And it's great, I mean, this is my first kiss, but I know this is what it's supposed to feel like. The butterflies and the fireworks and the connection. And at this moment, everything is Leo. Leo's impossibly soft lips on mine, Leo's right hand on my waist and Leo's left hand on my neck. Leo's smell everywhere, his oh so enticing smell of apples and cologne, that I don't know how to explain but I love it. I love everything about it. And him...I like him so much and it shouldn't be fair to like someone so much in so little time.