“Are Nate and Jess okay?” I ask Alana, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I’m in a very intense game of Mario Kart.

Alana sighs. “I mean, yeah. They kinda have to be. After all, they’re not dating, so Nate has no justifiable reason to be mad at her. Plus, Jess feels terrible about hooking up with Chase and they’re not back together or anything, so I think it’ll all boil down soon.”

“Good. I can’t handle any more drama.” I say. I can almost feel Alana rolling her eyes on the other end.

“You’re exaggerating.” She says.

I laugh. “Are you kidding? Between Vanessa and Tyler and Emery and Nate and Jess and not to mention Toby, I think I’ve got my hands full, thank you very much.”

“Um…what drama includes Emery?” she asks.

I pause. “What?”

“You said Emery.”

“No, I didn’t.” I deny.

“Yes, you did.”

“Oh. Well, I didn’t mean to.” I say, quickly.

Alana chuckles. “Alright, alright, so you’ve got a lot of drama. Sucks for you. Now, I’ve got to go to my Pre-Calc homework.”

“Have fun.” I say, in a singsong voice, and hang up before she can cuss me out. I return to playing my game, but am immediately interrupted by Gabe.

“Hey, big bro.” he says, sitting down on the couch next to me.

“Hey, little bro.” I reply, my eyes still hooked on the screen.

“Can we talk?” He asks, a little quietly, and I pause my game to look up at him. His expression is serious.

I toss my controller aside. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

“You know the rumors going around about Toby?”

I swallow. This is going to be a hard conversation. “Yeah, what about them?”

Gabe cocks his head to the side, looking at me, curiously. “Are they true?”

I cough. “Well, which rumors in particular?”

Gabe rolls his eyes at my pathetic excuse to avoid the question. “The ones about him being gay.”

“Oh. Those ones.” I say, lamely, and then decide that I have no other choice but to tell him. “Yeah, they’re true.”

“That’s what you meant when you asked me if I knew who he was dating, right?”

I sigh and put two fingers on the bridge of my nose. “Yeah, I wanted to see if you knew. And you didn’t, so…”

“So that’s why that basketball toolbag beat him up?” Gabe demands, his voice rising.

I nod in response. Gabe’s eyebrows fly upwards.

“That’s bullshit!” he exclaims. “Why should it matter? Oh my God, I swear, this school is insane!”

“Gabe, calm down.” I say, grabbing onto his arm.

“I will not calm down! Why should I be calm? Why are you calm? Why aren’t you beating up all those guys?” He yells.

“Gabe, they’re my teammates. I can't just barge in and beat them up!” I say, exasperatedly. Gabe glares at me.

“So you’re just gonna let them keep harassing Toby?” he spits.

“Gabe, I can’t help Toby. But he’s already got people watching out for him. Emery’s got his back and I know you do, too. Okay?”

“Fine.” He grumbles and shuffles away. I sigh and put my head in my hands. I know Gabe has a point. The rest of the basketball players are kind of douches—with a possible exception of Chase Jackson—and Toby definitely doesn’t deserve to be treated badly.

But what can I do? I’m in a really awkward position right now and I don’t want to make anybody angry. I’m trying to be as neutral as I could possibly be.
I’m trying to be Switzerland.

*

Being Switzerland is harder than I thought. I’m really disliking having to deal with both sides, especially when I know which one I’m really on and which one I’m pretending to be on.

Like I said before, these guys are my teammates and they’re not really bad guys. They just act like tools, because, I don’t know, they think it makes them cool or something.

But I have to say, I feel really bad when they’re insulting Toby, because I want to say something to defend him, but at the same time, I know I can’t, because it’ll cause this weird unbalance in our team dynamic.

And when I’m with my friends, Alana, especially, constantly demands to know why I’m friends with them.

“Hey, back off.” Emery says, surprising everyone at the table, including me. “Look, I hate what they’re doing to Toby, but we all know that Luke isn’t like that, so just leave him be, okay?”

The table goes quiet and Emery goes back to his lunch. I watch him, curiously, wondering why he spoke out in my defense.

“Hey, thanks for backing me up in there.” I say to him as we walk down the hallway to English Lit, which we have together.

“No problem.” Emery responds, easily.

I grin and change the subject, elbowing him in the rib, playfully. “So tell me, you not found anyone who matters enough for you to date?”

He tries to hold back a smile, but gives up. “What’s with you and wanting me to date someone?”

“Well, I’m thinking that maybe when you start dating someone, Alana and Jess will finally stop drooling over you.” I lie. I’m not sure why exactly I want Emery to date someone, but that’s definitely not the reason.

Emery grins, cheekily. “Ah, so you want them drooling over you instead.”

“Pshah.” I wave him off. “Jess and Alana never drooled over me, I’ve known them for too long. Now come on, stop avoiding the question. I saw you talking to Katy White the other day, is that happening?” I nudge him and waggle my eyebrows.

“Katy?” Emery asks, disbelievingly, and then bursts into laughter.

I stare at him as he continues to laugh.

“Are you done?” I ask, with raised eyebrows.

He coughs and grins at me. “Yeah, I’m done. Sorry, that was just too funny.”
I grin back. “No worries, man, that’s how I get when someone assumes me and Alana are dating.”

“Yeah, exactly. No, me and Katy are just friends, I promise you.” He laughs again, lightly, making me stare at the dimple in his left cheek.

“Okay, but that still doesn’t answer my question.” I point out.

He sighs. “I don’t really wanna date anyone right now. I’m kind of into someone, actually.”

I wolf-whistle. “Aha! Now we’re getting somewhere.”

He shoves me. “Oh, shut up.”

“Come on, tell me who it is!” I grin, knowing full well how much I’m bothering him.

“No way in hell.” He says.

“Dude, you’re blushing!” I exclaim.

“No, I’m not!” He insists, his face getting even redder.

“Who is this girl?” I ask, now honestly curious.

He doesn’t respond, the pink tinge still very apparent on his neck. We walk the rest of the way to English Lit in silence.

After school, I wander the halls, as usual, looking for Gabe. As I’m walking down the hallway, I hear familiar voices coming from one of the empty classrooms, and I stop for a second to eavesdrop.

“Does he know?” says a female voice.

A sigh. “No, no one does except you.” Replies a male voice—a very familiar male voice.

“Why won’t you tell him?”

“I can’t, you know I can’t.”

Another sigh—this time from the female. “I know, I know, you’re right. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

I move as quietly as I can so I can get a glimpse of who’s inside the classroom. Katy White leans over to give Emery a hug. I raise my eyebrows. I’m planning on staying longer, just so I can hear more and understand what they’re talking about, but then I see Gabe at the other end of the hall, and I know that I have to hurry and get him home so I can be back in time for basketball practice.

I walk over to him and am surprised when I see that he’s not surrounded by a group of girls as usual. Instead I see him talking to a skinny-looking kid, with neat brown hair and big eyes that avert my gaze.

“Oh, hey, Luke.” Gabe says when he sees me. “We leaving?”

“Yeah.” I nod, still looking the skinny kid up and down, curiously.

“Okay. I’ll see you tomorrow, Drew.” Gabe smiles at the kid, who gives him a weak smile in return, and then walks off, dragging me with him.

“Did you say Drew?” I ask.

Gabe nods firmly.

“As in Toby’s…um…”

“Boyfriend?” Gabe finishes, looking up at me, curiously. “Yes.”

“Oh, okay.” I reply, awkwardly, not saying any more.

After I drop Gabe off at home, I turn right around and head back to school as fast as I can so I’m not late for basketball practice.

Despite driving 15 over the speed limit, the rest of the guys are already changing when I enter the locker room.

“Late again, Adams!” Bryce says in a fake admonishing tone. “Screwing some girl again, were you?”

I grin. “Not this time, Bryce. Had to drop my little brother off at home.”

Bryce rolls his eyes at this uninteresting piece of information and turns back to Tyler, with whom he was having a conversation.

I roll my eyes at the two of them, and pull my shirt off before tossing it in my locker. Chase quietly changes beside me, and I suddenly remember the news I heard about him at lunch.

“Dude!” I exclaim. “Did you seriously sleep with Jess at that party on Friday?”

A few guys turn to stare at Chase in surprise, and Chase avoids eye contact with anyone, a blush sneaking up his neck.
“We were really drunk, okay?” Chase mumbles, defensively. I roll my eyes and grin at him.

“Hey, no worries, I’m not upset about it. Nate might be.” I say, pulling on my sneakers and tying them tightly.

“Nate Hill? That faggot lacrosse player you’re always hanging with?” Mike O’Reilly asks me.

“Great vocabulary you got there.” I say, surprising even myself.

Mike laughs. “What? Not my fault you hang around a bunch of gay punks.”

“Nate’s not gay, bro.” Chase says, quietly. Okay, this is why guys have their heads screwed on much better than girls. Chase and Nate are constantly defending each other even though Nate’s totally in love with Jess and Chase and Jess have this weird history.

“Could’ve fooled me.” Mike barks, tying his shoe and leaving the locker room. Chase just rolls his eyes at him.

“Ignore him, man.” He says to me.

I nod. “Always do, bro.”

*

“Friday, bitches!” Nate yells at lunchtime.

“Shh!” Alana smacks him and Jess giggles. The Jess/Chase/Nate drama has died down over the past few days and we’re all back to our regular antics. Meaning Nate is still madly in love with Jess and Jess is still pretending that she doesn’t know.

“Okay, here’s the plan.” Nate says, as soon as Emery and I sit down at our usual table. “You are all coming over to my place and we’re gonna play some sick drinking games.”

Alana groans. “Nate, you know I can’t go home drunk.”

“Just tell your parents you’re sleeping over at my house, jeez.” Jess says, rolling her eyes.

“Okay, so that’s settled.” Nate grins. “And y’all are definitely coming, yeah?” he asks, looking at us.

Emery and I share a glance and then turn back to Nate.

“Count me in.” I say, grinning.

“Sure, why not?” Emery shrugs. “Hey, can I invite Katy too?”

“Katy White? Hell yeah!” Nate exclaims. “The more the merrier.”

“As long as you don’t invite any of your basketball loser friends.” Alana gives me the death glare.

“Oh, calm your tits, Alana. I’m not inviting any of them.” I scowl at her.

“Alright, but then I get to invite Rowan Smith, because he is attractive.” Jess pretends to fan herself and Nate looks down. I roll my eyes at the two of them.

“Okay, so it’s decided. Y’all are coming over at 9.” Nate says.

“Yes, sir.” I grin and Emery laughs. I look at him from the corner of my eye and smile to myself when I see his dimple.
*

I make it over to Nate’s place at around a quarter past nine. I see a few people already in the living room and ask Nate, as he approaches me, “Am I the last one here?”

“Naw, we’re still waiting on Emery and Katy. Come on in.”

I follow Nate inside and join the group of kids seated on either couches or the floor. I see Jess seated beside Rowan Smith, a spiky-haired senior, and Alana is sitting next to a pretty girl I don’t recognize.

“Hey,” I say to Alana, smiling at the girl, who immediately blushes. Alana scowls at me and I grin. “You gonna introduce me?” I ask.

“Luke, Angela. Angela, Luke.” Alana says, swiftly. “Stay away from him, he’s nothing but trouble.” She murmurs to Angela, who isn’t listening, but instead is gazing at me. I shake her hand, my smile still on my face.

“Pleasure to meet you.” I say, smoothly.

“Y-you too.” She stutters.

“Well, praise hallelujah, they have arrived!” yells Nate, who walks into the room, followed by a messy-looking Katy and a blushing Emery.

I don’t care what the kid says; he and Katy are totally getting into it.

Nate begins pouring God-knows-what into red Solo cups and passing them around, warning us all not to start drinking yet. He announces that the first game we’re playing is Never Have I Ever. Jess puts her head in her hands, knowing that she is going to get hammered in the first five minutes.

The eight of us sit in a circle, each with our cup in our hands, and Nate briefly explains the rules before he begins the game.

“Never have I ever…ridden on a motorcycle.” Nate says. I take a sip from my drink, remembering the time fondly. Along with me, Rowan and Emery each swallow a measure of alcohol. The girls and Nate do not move.

The game goes on and eventually everyone starts to get tipsy. A few ‘never have I ever’s stick out in my mind the most.

“Never have I ever…” Alana slurs. “Fallen in love.”

Nate and Jess each take a swig from their cups; the rest of us stay motionless. As soon as the two of them realize it was only them, they both blush and the rest of us jeer.

“Never have I ever…” Angela says, completely loosened up now that she’s had a few to drink. “Cheated on someone.”

Jess blushes crimson, but takes a small sip from her drink. She’s the only one. Alana raises her eyebrows, surprised at the news.

“Never have I ever…” Rowan says in that lazy tone of his. “Kissed a dude.”

Jess rolls her eyes and takes a drink from her cup. As do Alana, Katy, Angela, and Emery.

Wait.

Emery?!

We all turn to stare at him and he shrugs, but I spot the pink tinge growing up his neck. He’s blushing. Why is he blushing?

“My turn.” He says, hastily. “Never have I ever…”

And it goes on. I don’t really pay much attention anymore, not that my drunken attention counts for much, but occasionally take sips from my cup when I hear a ‘never have I ever’ that sounds like something I would do.

After we feel we’ve run out of things to say, Nate switches to Spin The Bottle, which immediately gets people excited. We use one of the many empty vodka bottles that are lying around the floor and Angela eagerly begins. We watch as the bottle spins quickly on the carpet and lands on…Rowan.

Rowan’s eyebrows flash upwards quickly and Angela leans over to kiss him, placing one hand on his chest while using the other one to hold herself up. Rowan goes next and his spin lands on Katy, who grins cheekily and allows Rowan to get all up in her business.

We all grin drunkenly as Katy spins and I laugh and yell “Oho!” when she lands on Emery. She blushes and Emery’s face just screams out awkwardness. She shifts over to kiss him and it’s the most uncomfortable thing I have ever seen. Obviously they weren’t prepared for an audience. It just proves that they totally are getting it on secretly.

After a few more rounds of spinning and after I kiss Katy, Angela, and Jess, we switch to some TV drinking game that Nate’s thought up. We get even more drunk than we already were, not that I thought it was possible, and Angela demands we play Truth Or Dare. Some of us—cough, Nate, cough—are not exactly capable of putting sentences together anymore, but the rest of us agree and so begins the dreaded game of Truth Or Dare that most of us would regret the next day.

“Luke! Truth or Dare?” Alana exclaims, giggling and leaning against Nate, who is completely unconscious at this point.

“Truth.” I say, eyeing Alana cautiously.

“Okay. Were you even attracted to any of the girls you dated?” she asks and people turn to look at me, interested. I have to think about this, and thinking right now is getting increasingly harder.

“Um…” I say. “I mean, they’re all pretty hot, I guess. But I never wanted to sleep with any of them; they were such whiny bitches.”

Rowan barks out a laugh, which wakes Nate up and he looks around, his eyes wide with shock. I roll my eyes at him.

We continue in the game, Nate now participating.

“Emery, Truth or Dare?” Jess stumbles over her words.

“Dare.” Emery replies and is regarded with a chorus of ‘oooooh’s from the drunken kids around him, including me.

“I dare you to kiss the most attractive person in the room.” Jess cackles.

I see a pair of silver eyes staring into mine.

I blink repeatedly to make sure I’m not hallucinating and as I open my eyes, I see Emery and Katy in a liplock.

When they pull apart, my eyes again make contact with a pair of silver ones.

*

“Oh my God, I am so hungover.” I groan, blinking my eyes and looking at my surroundings. “Whose house am I in now?”

A laugh, and Emery comes into my eyesight. “Mine again.” He sets a glass of water and a mug of coffee down in front of me. “Figured you’d need both this time.”

I nod at him appreciatively and gulp down the scalding hot coffee. “How the hell are you not hungover?” I demand.

He shrugs. “Guess I didn’t drink that much.” Then he grins. “And I’m one sixteenth Irish!”

I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, that counts for a lot.” I look around me. “Am I the only one here?”

He nods. “Alana passed out at Jess’ house and Angela went over to Katy’s. Rowan stayed at Nate’s. But they’ve probably all gone home now.”

Taking my cue to leave, I put the mug of coffee back on the table. “Well, guess I should be on my way out as well.” I stand up and Emery immediately does the same.

“You don’t have to…you know, if you don’t want to.” He stumbles over his words, scratching the back of his neck in that way of his. My stomach flips over.

“Naw, man, I need a freakin’ shower. Thanks for letting me crash, though.” I say, clapping him on the shoulder. He shoots me a small smile and, almost instinctively now, my eyes fly to his dimple.

“See you on Monday.” He says, softly.

“See you.” I reply and walk off, despite something in the back of my head telling me to stay.

Right when I reach the front door, I hear the distant sound of a phone ringing and I turn back to see Emery pick up his phone. Deciding once again to eavesdrop, I open the front door and close it and immediately move to the side so that Emery doesn’t see me as he looks at the door.

“Yeah?” he says into the phone. “Yeah, he did. Just now.” Whoever is on the other line says something and Emery laughs. “Thanks for bailing me out of that last night. And I’m sorry for the weirdness.” Emery pauses while the other person speaks and then I see him grinning again. I clutch at my stomach, telling my hangover sickness to just wait till I get home. Emery continues talking, now sounding a little sadder. “Katy, just give up. There is no happy ending for me, okay? Let it go.”

Aha! So he’s talking to Katy! I knew the two of them were secretly dating. I don’t know why it’s a secret, but now I’m determined to find out. Totally confronting Emery at school on Monday.

Content with what I gathered, though I didn’t