I stared at my mother, wide-eyed. Confusion but also anticipation filled me and after I put down my coffee cup, she led me towards the living room where my father and Aman's parents were waiting.

They were all seated on the red couches, staring up at me with sorrowful expressions, a glint of hope in their eyes.

We all sat there, going through everything that had happened. I, especially after seeing them, couldn't seem to wrap my head around Aman's death still.

It didn't feel real.

It was too painful to consider real.

No, please don't start crying.

Letting out a deep breath to calm myself down, my father began to speak, reluctantly.

"Karishma?" I turned my head to stare at him inquisitively. "We called you out here to tell you something important."

With a heavy heart, I nodded, swallowing down my fear.

"We–"

My mother cut him off, laying a hand on his.

"Sweetheart, you know that if this doesn't happen then your future is ruined," she trailed off and my eyebrows drew together in worry.

"What do you mean?" I asked, nervousness seeping through my tone.

She let out a sigh as my father rubbed his temples, his eyes tightly closed.

"We've been discussing this for a week or two now," she said, glancing at Aman's parents who looked at me with sad smiles.

As she trailed off, he filled in for her, "And after discussing it with Aman's parents," they looked at each other, holding hands, before continuing, "we think it's best if you decided to marry Jai."

My eyes widened and my heart felt like it stopped, as my breathing did.

"D-dad?" I glanced between them both in disbelief before turning to Aman's parents. "Marry Jai? Why? I don't even know him and I-I'm not ready to get married anymore.!"

"I know, honey. But we have to think about the future. Our family is expecting a wedding still and you've received no offers. This is the best and only option."

I shook my head as they gave me the answer I refused to accept.

"But—we're not...I mean, I can't–"

"Honey, I know this is strange bu—"

"No, I'm sorry Geena aunty. I can't do something like that, it's not right."

"You can, Karishma." Ma looked furious. "Why is it not right, huh? What else can we do? Do you know the rumours about you that have been flying around here?! As your mother, it hurts me to hear false things about you. Since everyone is expecting a wedding, a wedding will happen."

With no hope, I turned my head to look at my father who sighed.

"It's for the best, Karishma."

Sighing, I knew there was nothing I could do. I could perhaps run away.

But I was too much of a coward to do that. Besides, where would I go?

I didn't want to disobey my parents. I loved them too much to do that.

They only had my best interests at heart.

I'll do it. I'll marry Jai. For them. For Aman.

And with that, my marriage was fixed. Not with Aman, but with his younger brother whom I had never even met. 

***

I looked at him, standing opposite me in the altar. We were going to have a traditional Indian reception but the wedding was going to be in a church; we were very religious.

But a moment that was supposed to be truly beautiful was taken over in a completely negative way. Jai's eyebrows were drawn together and his lips were pinched together in a tight line.

He didn't want to be there, just like I didn't, either.

I could see that his jaw was clenched as the priest was speaking, and his eyes were focused on him as if he was trying to look at everything but me so I wouldn't remind him of what we were about to do.

It truly scared me.

Looking down, I fiddled with my white saree and tried to not look at the audience, whom, I could sense were all staring.

"Jai, do you take Karishma for your lawful wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honour her all the days of your life?"

There was a hesitant, chilling pause as we all waited with baited breath.

I was just as unwilling as him, but I had truly never felt as embarrassed as I did in that moment. Jai finally tore his gaze away from the priest and slowly laid them on me. His eyes reminded me of light caramel--a mix of umber and flecks of dark brown that intertwined together. 

"Do I have a choice?" he spat out through gritted teeth.

The priest faltered a bit; we could all hear the distaste and the anger in his tone.

"It's 'I do', son."

Jai's eyes flashed darkly as he said with great difficulty. "I do."

He then looked towards me.

"Karishma, do you take Jai for your lawful husband? Do you promise to be faithful to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love and honour him all the days of your life?"

With a heavy heart, I slowly nodded, whispering, "I do."

One of my other cousins, Haina, came towards us with the rings and with a shaky hand, I picked up the ring that I was supposed to give to Jai.

Looking up, I was taken aback and hurt by how much disgust and annoyance was expressed in his eyes; and it was aimed at me.

Gulping slowly, we exchanged our rings and when the priest had announced us, man and wife, we were supposed to hold hands and slowly walk down the aisle.

He snatched my hand almost aggressively as if he was forced to and the moment we walked down slowly, was when I realised.

I wasn't going to be Aman's wife.

I was Jai's wife, now.

And that hurt.

I will try to make this marriage work.

As I passed the seats, my eyes gradually travelled towards where my parents were. My Ma had tears streaming down her cheeks and my dad had red eyes.

Forcing myself to look away in case I cried myself, I instead looked ahead as everyone stood up.

This was going to be my life now.

We got seated in the car and drove off to get ready for our reception, all the while, no words being spoken between us.

It was as if we hadn't gotten married at all.

We were just two strangers.