'You're lying, Karishma. It's obvious you're not happy with him.'

Gavin's text caught me by surprise and after reading it, I let out a tiny gasp. Everyone's eyes turned to me. I cleared my throat, embarrassed. Chelsea eyed me with an amused expression.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm good!" I rushed out, sounding even more suspicious. I avoided looking at Gavin, feeling his watchful eyes on me.

Though I knew it was rude to text whilst out with guests, I couldn't help but try to reason with him or find out how he knew.

'No of course not! We love each other.'

Even as I hit send, I knew that it was an obvious lie but I was hoping it wasn't showing on my face.

I didn't want to let anyone know about the problems that we had as a married couple.

I was always taught and brought up with the idea that other people outside the marriage shouldn't know about the personal things that goes on so that they didn't interfere.

After glancing at Jai and Chelsea who went back to making small-talk, I peeked up at Gavin through my eyelashes.

He wasn't staring at me anymore but his lips were pinched, as if he knew something.

And I had a feeling he was strongly going with his gut feeling rather than believing me.

I didn't blame him.

My eyes then darted towards Jai and Chelsea once again to make sure they weren't suspicious. I didn't want to have to be bombarded with questions that I didn't have any answer to.

Plus, lying was exhausting.

Glancing at Jai, his expression remained blank but he managed to be kind enough to respond to her.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Gavin glance at me before shaking his head in disbelief. He then looked down at his phone, hidden under the table slightly.

My phone dinged again at the new text and I clenched my phone tightly. There was no way I could convince him; it was as if he already knew everything.

'Look, I know I've only known you for a little while but I can tell that you're not happy. You're not a very good liar cos I can practically see the guilt painted on your face. It's none of my business and you don't have to tell me anything about it but please just don't lie to me.'

My stomach churned at that. Turning my phone off to find some sort of relief, I looked up, accidentally meeting Gavin's eyes.

He was already watching me with a thoughtful expression, completely different to what I thought he was gonna be like.

Honestly, I had expected anger for my lying.

The thoughtful expression then changed to one of concern as he interpreted my silence as a confirmation to what he had said.

Trying to get away from the awkward silence between both Gavin and I, and to stop myself from screaming due to my unfortunate fate, I turned to Chelsea, ignoring Jai altogether.

"Are you and Gavin a couple?"

The confidence with which I asked the question surprised me and caught me off-guard but no one else found it as weird as I did. Chelsea just stared at me with her wide blue eyes.

My question seemed to break Gavin out of his reverie as he blinked at me before he cleared his throat.

"Wait, what?" he asked in confusion, his voice croaky. He cleared his throat again, cheeks a little flushed.

"She's asking if we're a couple or not," Chelsea said, trying not to laugh.

Gavin looked at me, appalled, before he snickered.

"Hell no, that's gross," he remarked with a grin, causing Chelsea to gasp and elbow him in the ribs.

He leaned away from her, the corner of his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

Whilst they were bantering, I peeked a glance at Jai who looked at his watch and sighed, swirling the contents of his wine as he stared out the window.

Why is he so rude?

My shoulders sagged as I recalled my excitement from earlier today. I had expected tonight to be more relaxing and fun but it turned out to be the opposite because I could sense there was an awkward tension between both Gavin and Jai and Jai and I.

The thought saddened me but I refused to let it bring down my mood.

In the midst of all this, after having our dinner, I excused myself to go to the restroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror as I washed my hands. It was hard, hiding things from people, especially people that could be my friends in the future.

Sighing, I took my time in walking out and towards the restroom. Upon flashing my eyes to the table we were seated on, I saw Jai, Gavin and Chelsea had stood up and were walking towards the front, quite possibly to pay the bill.

I quickly shuffled over to them and Gavin turned to me with a bright smile on his face.

"Welcome back."

Chelsea shot me a polite smile and Jai looked at me, his face remaining vacant and his eyes giving nothing of his thoughts away.

The dinner 'date' had turned out to be a complete disaster because no one really talked except for Chelsea and Gavin. They seemed to have plenty to say and I just felt like an outcast.

Glancing away, I played with my hands as Gavin and Jai went up to pay. Chelsea hung back with me, eyeing the two men.

"Gavin always wants to pay for everything so whenever we go out with friends, I just let the silly goose pay," she said, rolling her eyes. "Is your husband the same?"

I really didn't know how to answer that. To be honest, I didn't know him at all, so I wasn't sure if he was the same. Not knowing how to respond, I just let out a short laugh and nodded.

"It can get annoying," I said with a smile.

"Right? Sometimes I wanna pay but he never lets me and it turns into a full blown argument. I just avoid that by giving in. Plus it means I don't lose any money."

"You're not wrong there."

It quickly became silent between us until the two men came back. By that point, I just wanted to run home and get some sleep.

At least that would mean I'd be in the comfort of my own home. Glancing at Jai, I couldn't tell what he was thinking as his face was expressionless even as he looked back at me.

He then turned to both Gavin and Chelsea.

"Thanks for dinner tonight, but we should probably head home now."

The corners of his lips tilted up to form a stiff, formal smile.

"Yes, thank you so much for tonight," I said, genuinely. Gavin grinned, a small dimple making an appearance on his left cheek.

I let out a sigh of relief internally, pushing away the thought that he was mad at me about the text exchange in the restaurant. I just hoped he wouldn't question me about it anymore.

"Yeah, no, trust me, it was my pleasure. But yeah, it's getting quite late," Gavin said, quickly glancing at me before settling his blue eyes on Chelsea, who stood beside him. "We should probably get going as well."

After saying our goodbyes, we all went our separate ways. Jai had his hand on my lower back, guiding me through the darkness and towards his car.

I looked up at him in shock as he had never touched me willingly. It was odd and despite the fact that it made me feel uneasy, it also made me feel safe and warm.

That caused conflicting emotions to flood through me as I stared up at the man walking besides me. I couldn't analyze what he was thinking at all.

His expression remained the usual poker face and I glanced away soon after; he was too hard to figure out and I didn't want to cause another argument because I was staring too long or something.

The ride home was filled with awkward silence, the only thing that could be heard being the soft, faint sound of Hindi music from the radio, filling the car.

I resorted to looking outside the window and at the scenery outside. It gave me an excuse to not make small talk with Jai.

As soon as we got home, I avoided Jai and rushed over to the closet that was in his room—there wasn't a separate closet in the room I was in—to grab my night clothes, before I speed walked towards my room.

We still hadn't been talking, much to my relief. Not talking meant peace and tranquillity. After I had changed, I texted my parents and saw that I had nineteen text messages from Gavin.

My thumb hovered over his name but I didn't want to respond to anything that involved tonight. I just wanted to sleep and forget for tonight.

I kneeled down next to my bed, saying a good-night prayer. Afterwards, I laid down on the pillow, staring up at the plain, cream-coloured ceiling. Sighing, I tried to sleep by shutting my eyes, tight.

To be honest, sleeping scared me. I had a hard time sometimes because I would get horrific nightmares of that night and I could never predict when it would occur.

And when it did, it was as if I had time travelled over and over again, reliving the same night again and again.

It was horrible and I always ended up with tears streaking wildly down my cheeks and my body damp, soaked with sweat.

It had been a while since my last nightmare, which was around the time of Aman's death.

Aman...

The thought of him caused me to shut my eyes tight so that I could stop myself from crying.

But despite the fact that there were no tears, the thought of him and realising how much I missed him caused my heart to ache. The thought of Aman was like a bullet to the shoulder or a knife to the stomach.

Turning to the side, I willed myself to forget about Jai, Gavin, Aman—everything, for tonight. My eyes shut and soon, darkness took over and I was in a peaceful slumber.

***

I shot up from my bed, my neck and face damp, and the collar of my nightie soaked with sweat.

I breathed hard, my heart beating wildly in my chest as my eyes frantically studied my surroundings.

It was in the middle of the night, of course, but the darkness scared me. It was as if there was something in the dark, teasing me.

It was like that someone hiding in the darkness would jump out at me whilst I was sleeping.

The nightmare I had was the one I always had, before Aman's death also became a nightmare to me.

It was of that other fateful night and I relived it tonight.

Instead of crying, my hands and my whole body shook. It wasn't because of the cold but because I felt helpless even in my nightmares.

Should I...go sleep next to Jai?

"No," I whispered to myself, shaking my head. I couldn't. It wasn't a good idea, anyway.

Besides, I knew he wouldn't like it. He would be mad that I disturbed his sleep just like our first night together as husband and wife when he heard me crying.

But even I couldn't deny that I needed someone beside me to fall asleep again without having that dreadful nightmare.

Slowly, I got out of bed, the cool air hitting my damp skin, allowing me to breathe as it soothed me and froze up my dread. Opening the door, I took hesitant steps towards Jai's room.

I rapped on the door gently and waited, but there was no response. I knocked a little harder but when I failed to hear anything, I turned to leave when the door suddenly cracked open. Jai's tired amber eyes squinted at me, sleepily.

I wrapped my arms around myself as the cold air in the hall pierced through my skin, making me shiver.

"What do you want?" he snapped, cranky.

"I had a nightmare," I whispered, trying to swallow the lump down my dry throat at the thought of the it. "And I was wondering if I could...if I could—"

Jai was wide awake now, staring at me with an emotionless face.

"If you could, what?"

"If I could sleep in your room?" I finished softly and hesitantly.

When there was no reply, I quickly looked up but found it startling that Jai was already watching me intently.

"Never mind, I'll just go back."

I turned as fast as I could and went to shuffle away when a warm hand cupped my elbow. All of a sudden, I was gently pulled back and into his room.

Jai shut the door and lazily walked towards the bed, plopping himself down on it. He closed his eyes and went back to sleep whereas I stood there in the corner, awkwardly.

"Are you going to come sleep or stand there staring at me like that creepy Annabelle doll?" he asked, his eyes still closed.

I quickly walked over to the side of the bed and settled in. I shivered as the part of the bed I was in now, hadn't been used, causing it to be as cold as ice.

I could feel Jai on the other side readjusting, and looking to the side, he was now facing the other way.

Turning, I slept on my side with my legs curled up and my hands tucked in between my legs to warm them. My breathing soon became even again before I drifted off into another comfortable sleep.

***

He cackled, the stench of alcohol strong as he leaned in, trapping me and giving me no room to escape.

"NO! Get off me!"

I let out an ear-splitting scream, squirming and kicking. Almost immediately, a rough hand began shaking me in a panicked manner. I could feel the warm tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Hey," a voice called out to me urgently.

"Don't hurt me, please!" I cried as I shot up from the bed, again. I was breathing heavily, sobs racking my body as I did so.

"Karishma," the voice was deep and soft, gentle on my ears.

My head turned to find the source of the voice and saw it was Jai, his eyes expressing slight concern before it vanished completely as I made eye contact with him.

"I-I—" I didn't know what to say to him and so I only responded with more sobs. "I'm...so sorry, I ruined your sleep again."

"Karis—"

"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." I wiped my tears frantically with my hands, sniffling.

"Kari—"

"Trust me, I won't disturb you anymore. I'll just leave."

I went to get out of bed when Jai tugged me back.

"Can you shut up and listen to me?" Jai angrily hissed.

I stopped talking and my sobs quietened down to small hiccups here and there.

"Look at me," he said, surprisingly gently. When I refused to look up, his hand came under my chin and lifted it up.

My eyes widened. He was being gentle.

Not questioning his actions, I just waited for what he wanted to tell me.

"You didn't ruin anything, and no one's going to hurt you. You're safe here," he said, gesturing for me to lie down.

With care, he said, "Just close your eyes, and imagine you're in your happy place."

"H—" a hiccup cut me off, "—happy place?"

"Yeah. A place where you can smile and be yourself without any troubles or worries," he whispered, his voice low and distant, as if he was reminiscing of his own happy place and speaking from experience.

A gentle smile formed on my face as I thought of my home.

Softly, I said, "I have a happy place."

"Good. Now, close your eyes and imagine yourself there." His deep, exhausted voice was soothing to my ears.

Just before I fell into a slumber, once again, a big, calloused hand covered mine, holding it tightly as I prayed to God to help me sleep peacefully.

Instead of questioning whose hand it was in my sleepy state, I tightened my hold as it warmed me up and gave me the safety and security I needed.

And, for the first time in a long time, it felt like things were going to be okay.