Chapter 5

I flipped the invitation card open as soon as I'm inside the house. A classmate of mine is having her debut and I am invited.

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ako o ano, paano ba naman ay napunta ako sa 18 Shots. Do I have a sign on my face that 'I love drinking'? Kasama ko si Tina at Nicus do'n kaso hindi ko alam kung makakapunta si Nicus dahil nasa Batanes siya. Grinding until the last week of our vacation.

Summer passed by swiftly. We went to Manila and I met some of my friends then after two weeks there, we traveled to Bohol. Another two weeks balik ulit ng Manila then hello again, Cagayan.

Gusto pa sana ni Tita na ipasyal ako sa Baguio kaso nga lang she's needed in the hospital. Ayos lang din naman sa akin dahil nga sakto naman na kasali ako sa debut ni Jam, at least makaka-attend ako. Unlike Nicus who doesn't give a damn as long as he's beaching.

Tina: Nareceive mo invites?

I took a picture of my invitation and sent it to her. Kakauwi niya lang din from Vigan kahapon. Next week pa naman 'yong debut, three days from now. Then next week after that is enrollment na.

Tina: Kasali si Darwin sa 18 dance. Yesica is still in Nueva Ecija tho, di siya makakapunta.

Sien: Yap, so casual lang ang suot? Akala ko 90s? She mentioned it before.

Tina: Iniba siguro. Yaan mo na, let's meet later. I have pasalubong for you.

Kagaya nga ng sinabi ni Tina, we agreed to meet at SM. She was all smiles because she saw her idol during a meet and greet in Taguig. James Reid she says. I know the artist but I'm not really a fan of celebrities. She was in Taguig before they went to Vigan.

Foods ang pasalubong niya sa akin. Tumambay kami sa Macau Imperial Tea habang nagkukwentuhan tungkol sa ganap namin no'ng bakasyon. After that, we went to Saint Paul and ate barbecue. Pagkauwi ko ay nadatnan ko si Tita na nagbabasa sa may living room.

"Evening, Tita." I greeted and kissed her cheek.

She smiled at me and put down the folder she's reading. She instructed me to sit beside her. Napansin ko ang lab coat niyang nakapatong sa handbag niya. Kakauwi niya lang siguro. It's already quarter to 7 in the evening.

"Are you really sure about taking up Medical Technology?" She asked.

Tumango ako. Tita Marta is a cardiologist in a big private hospital here in Cagayan. She studied Nursing in FEU then went to med school. Nagtrabaho na siya sa Manila no'n pero ilang taon lang.

"Balak mo bang tumuloy sa med school? You want to be a Doctor?" She inquired.

Huminga ako ng malalim at tipid na ngumiti.

"Hindi ko pa alam, Tita."

The truth is I'm a little scared. Med school is not a walk in the park, seriously. Iyong mga nagte-take na nga lang ng pre-med courses sa school ay mukhang nahihirapan na, paano pa kaya kapag nasa med school ka na talaga.

They say med school is not only for the smart-ass. Hindi raw kailangang matalino ka, basta masipag ka mag-aral. But let's be honest here, kailangan naman talagang may talino ka pa rin. And I admit, I'm not a smart ass. Hindi ako matalino pero hindi rin ako bobo.

I study and pass, that's all I am. Hindi naman ako nahihirapan sa klase. I get average scores and sometimes, I can ace but I don't know if it will be enough to survive in med school. Yes, I want to be a Doctor but I don't know what specialization yet. And I don't want to claim it for now.

I have other options aside from Medical Technology. Gusto kong kumuha ng Secondary Education or Pharmacy kaso nga lang nagbago rin nang nag-Senior High ako. And now, I just want to see if I can survive my chosen pre-med course first before I finally decide whether or not continue to med school.

"Well, that's fine. You still have years ahead of you to finally decide and besides, you can always choose want you want. Hindi ka namin pinipilit sa kahit na ano, I just want to make sure that your mind is really made up for that."

"Thank you, Tita. But, uh... is it true that Medtech is the best pre-med course?" Tanong ko, iyon kasi ang madalas kong naririnig.

Tita Marta laughed softly and shook her head. "And they say Nursing is the best pre-med too. Pharmacy students will say pharmacy is the best pre-med course that goes for BS Biology students too or even Radtechs or any pre-med courses. It's just a matter of opinions and there's always an advantage in any course."

Ngumiti na lang ako at tumango. Ngayon pa lang parang kinakabahan na ako. Pero kahit gano'n ay gusto ko pa ring tumuloy. I want to try than forever be jammed with what ifs.

Sa isang hotel gaganapin ang debut ni Jam. As expected, Nicus won't come and Yesica too. So kaming apat lang nina Tina, Cadeo at Darwin. Alas syete ang simula ng program. We agreed that they will come to our house because Tito presented to drive us to the venue which was suggested by Tita.

I wore a black jumpsuit and paired it with dark blue ankle-strap heels. I also brought a jacket just in case it's cold at the venue. Sabay na dumating si Darwin at Cadeo na parehong naka-chinos at polo. Then Tina came last who's wearing a peach backless halter dress inches above her knees.

Pagdating namin sa hotel ay nakita naman agad 'yong iba namin mga kaklase. Almost everyone is invited, 'yong mga wala ay baka nasa bakasyon pa. Pagdating namin sa function room ay agad kaming nakisalamuha sa mga kakilala namin. The program has already begun but our part is still upcoming.

Marami rin naman kaming hindi kakilala. Malawak ang function room at puno ang mga pabilog na table. I'm hundred percent sure that most are from our university. I can even spot some college faces. The party is very much alive since the host is a gay and he's very funny and energetic.

Tina keeps on taking photos while I'm trying to enjoy the culture that I'm not yet used too. The host would speak their native language from time to time that I could not understand. Buti na lang may tubong Cagayan kaming kasama sa table.

"Before we proceed with the 18 Shots, may palaro ang Kuya ni Jam! Come on boys!" Tumili pa ang host bago namin nakita ang pagpunta ng grupo ng kalalakihan sa harap.

Unti unting kumunot ang aking noo nang mapansin ang isa sa kanila. It was Axev! What the hell? Hinihila siya ni Gavrie na tumatawa pa. Axev was shaking his head but a grin was etched on his face.

Nagsalita iyong Kuya ni Jam at pinakilala ang mga kasama niya. Kaklase niya sa Axev and I was about to ask what he's doing here, 'yon pala, invited din.

"Uy, sina Axev." Tumawa si Darwin.

Ngumuso ako at pinanood siya sa harapan. Lagpas isang buwan ko rin siyang hinid nakita, ah. I can still remember our last conversation. After that, I tried to remove him out of my mind because clearly, he wasn't interested with me. At hindi ako 'yong tipong ipipilit ang sarili ko sa taong hindi ako gusto.

He's just my crush and to be honest, I thought of him briefly for a few times during my vacation. And yeah, until now, he's still my crush. Hindi ko nga rin alam kung bakit gano'n pa rin ang nararamdaman ko. Akala ko nga magkakatotoo 'yong sinabi niyang lilipas din ito. Oh well, let it fade through time.

Pean, Jam's brother explained the mechanics of the game. I saw Axev and another guy talking while Pean was explaining. He had his haircut. Semi shaved ang buhok niya ngayon. He's wearing a baby blue short-sleeve polo tucked in his black slacks.

Tumikhim si Tina kaya nilingon ko siya. She was raising her brows on me, while her gaze is teasing. I rolled my eyes and looked away from Axev.

The game is called 'KAPAIN MO' as presented by Jam's brother. May pitong kalalakihan sa harapan, kabilang na ro'n si Axev. Nagsimula silang magtawag ng pitong babae. Masama ang tingin ko kay Tina dahil nakakakilabot 'yong ngisi niya sa akin.

The girls were shouting, umingay ang room dahil sa sigawan nila. They were so down for it. Limang babae na ang nasa harapan at patuloy sa paghahanap 'yong emcee.

"Si Sien daw!" Biglang sigaw ni Tina nang lumapit ang emcee sa may banda namin.

My jaw dropped and I almost pulled her hair, kung hindi ko lang narinig ang pag-segunda ng mga kasama ko sa table.

"Sino?" Napansin kami ng bading na host.

"Si Sien po!" Sabay turo nila sa akin.

I smiled at the emcee and shook my head. I even waved my hand to dismiss their remarks but the host is already dragging me. My eyes widened more when I heard my classmates cheering for me. Fuck it.

"Oh, isa na lang!" Sigaw ng bading at iniwan ako sa harap kasama ang ibang babae.

Tumatawa ang mga kalalakihan sa harap namin at nagbubulungan. Hindi ko kilala ang ibang babaeng kasama ko. Nilingon ko ang mga lalaki at hindi na nagulat pa nang makasalubong ko ng tingin si Axev. I can't explain his expression though. He looks serious and by the way his lips are twitching, I don't know if he's amused or irritated.

I smiled a little at him and looked away. Nang makumpleto kami ay inulit ang mechanics ng game. Panay ang sulyap ko sa mga traydor kong kaklase lalong lalo na si Tina. She was just smirking at me. If only I'm not used to this, I would have really strangled her.

Kaya tinawag na Kapain Mo ay dahil literal na mangangapa kami. Hindi nga lang sa sahig kundi sa makakaparehas naming lalaki. Kakapain namin 'yong isang libo sa katawan ng lalaki. Depende kung saan niya iyon itinago. We will be wearing blindfold. Kung sinong mauunang makakahanap may additional cash prize at 'yong mahuhuli ay may punishment.

Hindi ko alam kung matatawa ako o maasar, e. But since I am not a killjoy, I will let it pass. They started pairing us up. I can hear Tina shouting that I should be paired up with Axev so I gave her the most deadly glance I could give. Ang sarap hampasin ng tape 'yong bunganga niya.

"At ikaw naman, dito ka kay Ms. Ganda," the host dragged Gavrie in front of me.

Tumatawa si Gavrie pero nang makita ako ay nabura ang ngisi niya sa labi. Nilingon niya si Axev na siyang nag-iisang naiwan do'n. Ang makakapareha niya ay ang babaeng nasa tabi ko. I pursed my lips and looked at the girl beside me. She's all smiles.

They started putting blindfold on us. Gusto ko pa sanang magreklamo dahil medyo mahigpit ang pagkalagay sa akin kaso nga lang naramdaman kong umalis kaagad 'yong naglagay. Huminga ako ng malalim habang nakikinig sa mga sinasabi ng bading. The crowd was cheering kahit hindi pa man nag-uumpisa.

"Okay, this is it! Girls, 'wag masyadong malikot ang kamay ha! Baka iba ang makapa niyo d'yan!" The emcee taunted earning roars of laughter from the crowd.

"Boys step forward to your partners!"

Naramdaman ko ang presensya ni Gavrie sa harapan ko. His perfume smells familiar but I'm too pumped up to care. I don't want to compete but I also don't want to receive any punishment they prepared for the loser. Kahit ano pang makapa ko d'yan basta hindi lang ako 'yong mahuli!

"In 3, 2, 1! Kapain mo na!"

The cheering from the crowd pressured me. Agad kong inabot si Gavrie na nasa harapan ko. I sucked on my lip when I felt his body. Wala akong  masabi, basta ang alam ko lang ay tiyan niya ang hawak ko. May abs siya? Matigas, e. My gosh, I cursed myself when I got stuck on it a bit.

Marahan ang pagkapa ko sa katawan niya. Pataas ang direkson na ginawa ko at nang maramdaman ko ang mainit niyang balat sa leeg ay napangiwi ako saglit at binawi ang kamay.

Paano ko ba hahanapin 'yan?! At bakit parang ang tangkad niya naman masyado? Hindi naman malayo ang height difference namin ni Gavrie, ah?

"Girls, kapain niyong mabuti! Huwag na kayong mahiya!"

I puffed a breath and extended my arms again. This time, I hit something hard. Iyong buckle ng belt niya. Suminghap ako at naibaba ang kamay sa gulat. When I felt his zipper, I immediately withdrew my hand. What the hell?!

"I'm sorry!" I whispered and nibbled my lip.

"Ang likot ng kamay mo." Said by a familiar baritone.

Nalaglag ang panga ko at kahit wala akong makita ay tumitig ako sa mismong harapan ko. What? What the fuck?

"Axev?!" I hissed. "What... akala ko bas i Gavrie... what the hell?"

I heard him groan amidst the loud cheering from the crowd. May nakahanap ng isa. Damn it! Mas lalo akong na-pressure. Paano ko ba hahanapin 'yong kapirasong papel na 'yon ha?! Malay ko ba kung saan isiniksik 'yon and most especially, bakit si Axev ang nasa harapan ko at hindi si Gavrie?

"Focus on the game, Dea." His voice is thick.

Humugot ako ng malalim na hininga nang maramdaman ang pagbilis ng pintig ng puso ko. I shook my head to bring myself to focus on the game.

"Can't you just tell me where you put it? Ang hirap naman ng larong 'to!" I groaned and extended my arm, this time I made sure it was high so I won't touch his crotch or anything!

Naramdaman ko na naman ang matigas niyang tiyan. Walang pocket ang polo niya. Paano kapag nilagay niya sa loob?

"We're not supposed to tell." Aniya.

Bumuga ako ng hangin at buong pag-iingat na ibinaba ang kamay. Baka nasa pocket ng slacks niya?

"What? Malay ko ba kung nilagay mo sa brief mo!" Reklamo ko at muling nakapa ang belt niya.

I heard him chuckle a little. Uminit ang mukha ko at mariin kong kinagat ang labi. That's the first time I heard him chuckle. Damn it! Mas lalong naging marahas ang tibok ng puso ko nang inanunsyong may nakahanap ulit na isa.

"Axev! I don't want to be punished! Pwede bang sabihin mo na lang kung nasaan?" I said in a frustrated voice.

He sighed heavily.  May sinabi siya sa mahinang boses na hindi ko narinig dahil sa sigawan ng audience. Can't they shut up for a second? Mas nakaka-pressure, e!

"Ano?" I demanded.

"I can't." He said simply.

I groaned in frustration and when I felt the pocket of his slacks, kaagad kong pinasok ang kamay ko ro'n. Walang laman kaya maingat ko ulit na kinapa iyong isa. Wala na naman!

"Axev! I swear, iu-uncrush talaga kita kapag na-punished ako rito!" I muttered in frustration.

Hindi ko na alam kung anong pinagsasabi ko. It's not like he doesn't know that I have a crush on him. Naramdaman ko ang paggalaw ng katawan niya. Mas lumapit yata siya sa akin, hindi ko alam. Dinama ko ang hita niyang matigas din. Saan pa ba pwedeng ilagay 'yon?

"In my left shoes, Dea." He mumbled.

Kumunot ang noo ko at inangat ang tingin kahit wala naman akong makita. In the what? Narinig ko ang paglakas ng sigawan dahil may isa na namang nakahanap.

"Ano?"

"Naka-ipit sa kaliwang sapatos ko." He said under his breath so it's just the two of us that can hear it.

My lips parted. Why the hell would he put it in his shoes? Umiling ako at mabilis na kinapa ang kaliwang binti niya pababa sa kaniyang sapatos. Unti unti rin akong lumuhod. I felt his leather shoes. I inserted my fingers inside the opening. I felt his ankle then when I moved my hand around, I felt a piece of paper. Kaagad kong kinuha iyon at tumayo.

"Here!" I shouted and waved my hand.

"Another one! Congratulations! Pwede mo nang tanggalin ang blindfold mo." Anang pamilyar na boses ng emcee.

Mabilis kong binaba ang blindfold ko at ang una kong nakita ay si Axev na nakatayo sa harapan ko. His lips were in a grim line and he's elevated brows were taunting. Suminghap ako at tiningnan ang isang libo sa kamay ko.

"Sayo na 'yan girl, congrats!" The gay smiled at me and proceeded to the two pairs left.

Muli kong sinulyapan si Axev. Hindi ko alam kung anong sasabihin sa kaniya. I nibbled my lip and gave him a small smile before turning my back. I can feel my face burning. I don't know why! Mabilis akong naglakad pabalik sa table namin at nang makita ko ang nakangising mukha ni Tina ay kaagad nawala sa utak ko ang nangyari sa laro.

"You bitch!" I pulled her hair.

Tumawa siya at tumayo para magtago sa gilid ni Darwin. I scowled at them because they just laughed at me. Umiling ako at umupo sa upuan ni Tina. Nang makita kong may nabuksan ng light drinks do'n ay kaagad ko iyong binanatan.

"Sayang! Hindi ko na-video-han! I'm busy laughing my ass off." Tina said and smirked at me.

I groaned and instead of fighting with her, itinikom ko na lang ang labi. May araw din sa akin ang babaeng 'yan. Nang sumulyap ako sa harapan ay nakita ko si Axev na kausap ang Kuya ni Jam. He's now holding a glass of liquor in his hand. Nasa gilid sila ng naglalaro.

I swallowed hard and averted my gaze back on our table. Pasimple kong dinama ang didbib ko. Mabilis ang pagtaas baba nito. Why did he help me? I don't want to assume so I dismissed the question quickly.

So the punishment was to have a sweet dance with your partner. Like what the hell? Dapat sinabi nila agad sa akin at nang nagpatalo ako! Char. But seriously? Unfair!

"Dapat pala nagpatalo ka, Sien." Tina said, like she knows what I'm thinking.

Sumulyap ako sa kaniya. She grinned and gave me a peace sign. Muntik ko nang abutin ulit at hampasin kung hindi lang inanunsyo na oras na para sa 18 Shots. I relaxed on my seat while watching some of our classmates proceed in front for their turn.

May pakulo na naman sila! Before you can chug the glass, may kailangan kang sagutan tungkol sa debutant. Kapag nasagutan mo ng tama, you can get away easily after guzzling your shot. But if you answered it wrong, iinumin mo ang shot at haharapin ang consequence na ibibigay ni Jam, the debutant.

Pang-labing anim ako habang pang-pito si Tina. She confidently sashayed her way to the front. Binigay sa kaniya ang shot glass at ibinigay ang tanong.

"Sino ang paborito kong K-Drama actor?" Jam asked and grinned at her.

Tina shrugged and got the mic from the emcee. "Lee Jong Suk."

And she got it right! Diniretso niya ang shot glass at bumalik na sa lamesa namin. She gave our other classmates a high five. When someone got it wrong, she was asked to sing. When my turn was nearing, I'm honestly nervous a little. Malay ko ba kung anong itatanong sa akin?

When I was called, I stood up and went in front. Tumayo ako sa gilid ni Jam at kinuha ang panibagong shot glass. She was grinning at me.

Umiling ako at ngumiti. Nasulyapan ko ang lamesang malapit sa amin kung nasaan ang grupo nina Axev. Mabilis din akong umiwas ng tingin.

"Ano ang bansang pangarap kong puntahan?" She asked.

Napakurap ako. What? Malay ko ba! But then, I remember that I always see a keychain of the Eiffel Tower in any of her things. Mayro'n pa nga sa wallet niya no'n, then another on her bag.

"France." I replied confidently.

"Wrong. South Korea. Sorry sis," she shrugged and smirked at me.

Oh, shit. How the hell would I know that?! Oh yeah, right. Mahilig siya sa Korean dramas. I should have got the hint! Sinulyapan ko ang mga kaklase ko nang mag-ingay sila. Sinisigaw nila ang consequence na ibibigay sa akin, like what the hell? They're not the debutant! Mga epal!

"Make her dance!" Someone shouted from our group.

I rolled my eyes and glared at them. Nang bumaling ako kay Jam ay nagkibit-balikat siya sa akin. And then the rest cheered for me to dance. Tahimik 'yong mga hindi namin kakilala. I have no problem with dancing because that's one of the things I love to do. At ilang beses na akong sumayaw sa harap ng klase.

"Sila na ang nagsabi, sis. You need to dance."

Tinuro ko sa kaniya ang damit ko. Tumawa siya at umaktong wala siyang magagawa. I'm hearing heels for goodness' sake! Pero para namang may magagawa ako dahil kung makasigaw ang mga kaklase ko ay parang hindi sila titigil hanggat 'di ako sumasayaw. This is so embarrassing!

"Please, play this