shinsō hitoshi - nothing

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#2: "has it always been this silent?"
thank you for 500+ reads!
slight change of pov towards the end.

CW: N.A.

=========================
When...

Did it all change?

Why...

Did it end up like that?

I thought everything had been going well all along. I guess it hasn't.

I didn't notice anything wrong, really. I thought that this was normal. I thought that we'd be fine if this went on.

It all started when he gave shorter replies to my texts. The short replies snowballed into one-lettered ones and eventually, I was just left on seen. J didn't seem to mind that; It seemed like normal behaviour to me. He was a really reserved person anyways. So, i slowly stopped texting him too. He didn't bother contacting me either. The last we talked was like, what, 3 months ago?

I used to go over to his house often, too. I mean, since we lived near each other, why not? J could go over whenever, and he wouldn't even bat an eyelid. When i'm over, we don't talk. At all. Again, not like I mind. I was happy to be able to roam around his house. It was really quiet. really tidy. And his scent would be all over the house. It was very... comforting.

I'd be lying, if I said I didn't miss him. The musky smell of his perfume. His fluffy, indigo hair. That stupid smile of his. I just wish I could see him one last time.

I'd be lying, if I said it didn't hurt. To see him so happy with others. For us to not talk anymore. Yet, what could I even say? I'm not sure if we were even together at this point.

I tried to forget about him. yet, nothing seemed to work. I constantly thought about messaging him or dropping him a visit, but I couldn't gather up the courage to do so. Oh well.

As time went on, nothing improved. He was always on my mind, whether I liked it or not.

But slowly that thought, though still present, became smaller and smaller. I managed to find lots of things to distract myself with. I guess that's good for my mental health. I picked up different hobbies and I started working out more often. I've even gotten into some games that i've wanted to try out recently, too.

I started finding for job/education opportunities. What else should I do with my time anyways. Surprisingly, I was offered one overseas. In [favourite country], that is. Obviously, I was really excited. It was a fully sponsored trip too; the flight tickets were paid for, accommodations were provided, and to top it off, I get a monthly allowance.

I smiled widely as I read the e-mail on my computer screen. Reaching over for my phone, I pressed on his contact number. Before I could even send my message, I stopped myself. What was I thinking? I deleted my text. I've to stop thinking about him. but a familiar heavy feeling started settling in my heart.

• • •

It was the day for me to embark on my fateful flight to [favourite country]. I was nervous to say the least. With everything packed, I carried my bag(s) and dragged my luggage(s) towards the boarding gate.

Lo and behold, as I neared the gate, a familiar sight of messy indigo hair came into view. when they turned around, I was stunned. I did not expect for him to be here on the same day and time as I. The both of us stared at each other, visibly confused and shocked.

I looked around, realising that he was probably sending off somebody he knew. It was just pure luck that we'd bump into each other, huh?

He spoke up first, "y/n? What're you doing here?"

He looked at my luggage(s), then back up me. Putting the pieces together, he tilted his head. I couldn't read his expression.

"Why... didn't you tell me anything? where are you going?"

I gripped my passport and my ticket tighter.

clearing my throat as I stood a little taller, I told him, "I'm heading off to [favourite country] for a job/education offer. I don't think i'll be back anytime soon." I faltered a little towards the end.

I averted my gaze the entire time. Looking back at him, he looked upset. He was biting his lip, eyes slightly glossy. Looking at him made me want to cry too. So I looked away again.

"This'll probably be the last time i'll see you too, so... Goodbye."

I looked towards the boarding gate again and started walking. He grabbed my arm.

"Why... What'll happen to us? Why didn't you tell me anything?" His voice was quivering.

I became slightly annoyed.

"Then why, why did we stop talking to each other? I tried at first, I really did. But it felt like you didn't want to. So I stopped."

"But why did you let it get this quiet? If you didn't want this, why didn't you try harder? You and I know it's too late now, so let me go Shinsō."

Hearing me call his first name, He lets go. I've never called him by his first name until now. feeling his grip loosen, I quickly walked away.

Shinsō could only watch the [hair colour] haired figure walk away. he could only watch as they left him. He could only stand there, weeping silent tears, holding onto the words he couldn't say.

He didn't know either; when did it become so silent?

Oh how he wished he could turn back time and change everything.

But he couldn't.

- fin -

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