Today was a lazy day for me. 

River had some stuff to do with his band and Dez had some shoot a few hours away. 

That left me in the house alone. 

Womp womp. 

That was ok though, I took that time to have some me time. 

After River dropped me off this morning the first thing I did was take a long soak in the tub. 

Then I took an equally long nap in bed.

Yep I slept in until two o'clock in the after noon. 

When I woke up I had decided to make some lunch. 

My phone buzzes on the counter as I spread mayo on a piece of bread.

Normally I would just let it go to voicemail but I notice it's my mom, she hasn't called recently and I wonder what's going on. 

Setting down the butter knife I pick up my phone, swiping across the screen to answer the call. 

"Hey hon." My mom says, she sounds tired but it's hard to tell over just a voice call. 

"What's up?" I ask before putting the sandwich together and carrying it into the living room. 

There is a long pause and I start to get worried. 

She either has bad news, or...

No I guess that's all that could be waiting for me on the other end. 

"Mom what's wrong?"

She sighs, "It's about memaw."

My insides start to twist and the pain behind her words. 

Of course knowing my mom it could be something minor like she took a tumble but I have a bad gut feeling. 

"What about her?"

"She was sick the past few days, told everyone not to worry about her. I insisted we go to the doctor just incase but she claimed it was just a cold, she had pneumonia Ava Lynn and because of her age and everything. She passed away last night."

Her last words send me into a spiral. 

She passed away last night. 

While I was out enjoying my self my favorite person in the whole world was dying. 

"Are you sure?" I ask. 

It's a stupid question but I ask it anyway. 

"Yes, I was there." her voice cracks at the end. 

I can feel the tears begin to prickle behind my eyes but for some reason I will them not the fall, not to escape. 

My chest is heavy with the thought of losing one of the only people who has ever supported me. 

She was my biggest supporter, heck my first supporter. 

I wouldn't have been able to be where I am today if it wasn't for her. 

"How did dad take the news?"

"Not well, I called because the services are this weekend. I know how close the two of you were and I thought you would want to be here."

Of course I want to be there, to say goodbye to my grandma. 

Right at this moment though the pain is too much and I want it to stop. 

No I need it to stop. 

I have never felt pain this bad before, and it feels like if I let the tears fall I'll break. 

I'll fall apart from the weight in my heart. 

"Oh." Is all I muster out. 

"I'm sure you want to start looking at flights as soon as possible so I should probably let you get on that." She sniffles and it registers she's crying. 

"Ok." I whisper and then she hangs up. 

I am left staring at my phone not knowing what to do, or how to feel. 

I'm not sure how I get into my room but some how I do. 

I grab a suitcase and fill it with random clothes from my dresser, then I lay on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. 

I don't cry, I just stare at nothing. 

I wish I could feel that. 

Nothing. 

Hours pass as I just stare at the blank white ceiling. 

While I lay there something registers, I need a distraction. 

I need to distract myself because I don't want to feel all of this. 

This anger and sadness and guilt. 

It's all too much right now. 

Sitting up I grab my phone off the nightstand. 

Then I send the text. 

____

A/N So short chapter, also only five chapters left.

I sort of took a break last week because even though I like to think I wouldn't let comments from strangers get to me, they do. 

Some I let blow over my head like the one where someone said, 'I feel like a teenager wrote this book.' when in fact I was seventeen when I wrote Bailey, some are super harsh. 

Like babe I get it you don't like it but no need to send a paragraph in my messages about it. No need to tell me how poorly written my characters are and how dry and dull my book is, like cool I guess?

Anyways I took a little break and read a bunch of books and now I have a new book boyfriend. Well two actually. Remo Falcone can kidnap me anytime honestly.

With that being said I am back, and I am also writing a new book. It's called 'Unguarded Love' and it's a college romance so stay tuned for updates on that as well. I hope to get the first chapter posted this week but with school and work it might be next week. 

I hope all of you have an amazing Sunday the rest of the blue moon chapters will be posted through out today. Love ya'll <3