Giselle "G" Rowe
Wednesday, October 19 | 1:29 a.m.

-

"Hell nah, ion applaud nobody for doin' the bare minimum." June huffs, putting on his left signal.

"I mean, the way I see it, you can show people appreciation for doing kind or responsible things even if it's expected of them. Take Mother's Day for example. Yo' mama is supposed to take care of you and allat shit, but some folks' mamas don't do that plus, being a parent in general is hard so when you see somebody doin' they thing, saluting 'em won't hurt. Might be the very thing that keeps them on this Earth." I stare out of the window, watching the distorted city lights fade in the distance through the massive raindrops sliding down the glass.

"That's also like if somebody get a brand new apartment at 30 years old and because they're proud of themselves, they show it off. Imagine if somebody else was like 'you grown as fuck, you should be moving out! That's the bare minimum.' instead of just congratulating them. Don't that sound crazy? Love make the world go around."

The car is silent for a while, just the pitter patter of water droplets hitting the windshield and the roof of the vehicle until June blows air through his nose, a small smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. "You know what I like about you, Giselle?"

I side eye him, tucking my top lip between my teeth, silently beckoning him to continue.

"You see the beauty in everything. Always lookin' on the bright side of shit and leading with good intentions. Even when you anxious, I can hear you mumbling under yo' breath that everything's gone be aight."

Butterflies.

"Shit, you seem good with kids too. That's always a plus."

"Wow." I breathe. I love Jamari with everything in me so when people complement me on how I handle him, I can't lie, I truly take it to heart.

I really gotta stop talkin' to myself in front of people though.

"Thank you, Rashad."

"You like callin' me by my name, huh?"

I keep my mouth closed, running my tongue over my teeth, exhaling a chuckle as I shift in my seat. I still feel all warm inside from the hot apple cider that we stopped by to get after he picked me up from work. His gaze is only adding fueling the fire. The way his round eyes look under the blanket of his thick eyelashes always gets me.

"It's coo. I like how it sounds comin' out yo mouth too." June shrugs, twisting a nob that increases the volume. Brent Faiyaz's voice comes flooding through the speakers immediately.

"Baby, let's keep it real. We both still young so what's the rush? The night is young and we not drunk enough."

Our late night joy riding has come to an end as we pull into my parents' neighborhood and I'm already dreading hearing my mama's mouth about the time. I guess it's worth it though.

I wish that I could stay the night elsewhere.

My eyes find the side of June's head, traveling from his defined jawline down to the simple jewelry sparkling around his neck under the passing streetlights.

"You told me your new man don't make you nut, that's a damn shame. You come here I'll knock yo pussy out the damn frame."

I squeeze my knees together, turning my head back towards the passenger window just before we lock eyes. "You did kinda shift my perspective though. Maybe I will show a lil more love from now on."

Once the car comes to a smooth halt right outside of the suburban brick home, June rubs the hair on his chin, leaning back in his seat and offering me an intense stare. Unlike I am, he is shameless about it how long his eyes linger.

I can see my parents' silhouettes through the lit windows and mentally roll my eyes, my mood already going down. Knowing them, they're only up to see me walk through the door to fuss.

Man, I gotta get out of this house.

"You should. Never know what it could mean to somebody." I do my best to mask my annoyance and unbuckle my seatbelt. "Well, goodni — "

A firm hand grips my jaw, gently rotating my head so that we are eye to eye and I stop breathing entirely as June's darkened eyes study my mouth. He pulls me closer in a swift motion, pressing his full lips onto mine so delicately that if it weren't for my increased heart rate, I'd think that he didn't kiss me at all.

Smoother than silk, his lips feel better on my face than they did on the back of my hand and its easy for me to get lost in his touch.

I'm left almost whimpering for more when he briefly pulls away to study my face. When my eye encourage him to continue, June plants another one on me, this one a little more firm than the first but it still isn't enough.

"Good night, Giselle."

I need something to satisfy my other heartbeat.

**********

Sunday, October 23 | 12: 36 a.m.
Toasted Buns - restaurant

-

"Say it! Say 'hey, ladies.'" I bounce Jamari in my arms and he lays his head down on my shoulder, hiding his smile. "He actin' shy right now y'all."

"Done got brand new on us, ain't it? I just seen you, man." Cree chuckles, playfully pulling at his sweatshirt.

"Exactly, don't be like that." Nadi holds her hands out to him but he doesn't budge, giggling into the crook of my neck. I pry him off me eventually, placing him in the booster seat next to my chair and handing him the few crayons that the restaurant offers.

Drinks have arrived in our absence, an Arnold Palmer for me and fruit punch for Jamari, and our entrée orders have already been placed. We spend the majority of brunch just catching up about various topics, including my ever growing side hustle.

"Damn, girl thirteen customers and counting? I'm so happy for you." Nadi praises, tapping her feet excitedly. "Just so you know, I was your first follower on your business account."

"You said you wanted to make some shit shake before your 25th, look like you on the way." Cree extends her hand and I dap her up, chuckling at their enthusiasm. "That's what I'm tammat."

The waiter returns with our entrées and Jamari claps his hands when a small portion of chicken tenders and fries is set in front of him, dropping his crayons immediately.

"Speaking of work, Mack said if I quit strippin', he'll put me through school with his own money. What y'all think?"

This earns a snicker from Lira before she grabs her mimosa and takes a dainty sip, inaudibly judging with just her facial expression.

"Man hell naw, Nadi. Just keep collecting your money and his money. Don't let that man stop yo' grind. Y'all ain't even been together long enough for allat shit." Cree waves her hand dismissively and I nod in agreement, earning a dramatic pout from Nadi.

"Fine! I'll hold off for now, but just know, we in love." She bats her eyes animatedly, making Jamari laugh as he brings another fry to his mouth.

"Oh, that's funny?" Nadi opens her palms again towards him, but he shakes his head, giggling loudly this time.

"Man, yeen the only one in love, shawty." Cree gloats, pressing the power button on her phone to show us her lock screen. It's a photo of Lourdes's painted toes in her mouth.

"Aight na, we didn't need to see no proof!" I shake my head, scooping another spoonful of cheese grits.

"Right. if it's anybody I believe that's in love, it's yo' ass." Nadi throws her head back to feign disgust.

"What about you and ole boy, G? What's his name again...August?" Cree smirks, wrapping her lips around her straw and I roll my eyes, holding back my own smile.

"His name is June and you know this, man!" I correct. "I'm not in love like y'all two, but I really do enjoy his company. I'll say that."

"So y'all be fucking?" Lira eyes me closely, leaning forward with her head propped onto her fist. Her wrist is iced out with new diamonds and she's straightened her hair.

"I — why?"

"Girl, me and Mack do!" Nadirah laughs, sticking out her tongue and bouncing.

"Whatever." Lira flips her hair over her shoulder, opening her small purse and pulling out pink tube of lipgloss. "I'm thinkin' bout quittin' my job too though. Men be comin' in acting like they don't see a bad ass bitch in front of them — too fucking worried about the girl who works next to me like what the fuck?"

"Lira, it's a strip club. Of course it's gone be a lot of other fine ass women there. Come on na, baby! Sound like you mad that all the attention ain't only on you."

"And that's what yo' ass get!" Nadi cackles, craning her head to the side. "Yeah, I'm still on you for talkin' shit about me working at the club initially."

Lira applies a thin layer of gloss and rolls her eyes, flagging down the waiter with just a simple stare. "Can we get the check please, handsome? I'm over these hoes."

"Aye, man don't be mad at us 'cause them girls got you feelin' like ugly Betty in there." Cree teases, dodging a swat from Lira.

Nadi and I laugh while the waiter trips over himself, still reeling from her sweet talk. He's pretty young, looking to be around 18-19 years old at the most and obvious to us all, he's been staring at Lira this entire time.

The bill comes and somehow, her meal is the only one that was 'forgotten', stroking her ego even more and she smiles sweetly at him while he fidgets with his apron in an attempt to find us a pen.

"Shit, maybe I need to work here then." Lira bites the tip of her nail, squinting slightly to read his name tag. "Y'all hiring....Antione?"

He nods vigorously, dashing towards the back.

"Aw hell, now that boy really going to find you an application." Cree shakes her head, taking one last sip of her orange juice before she stands up. "Let's go, man."

Lira bites her lip, letting out a satisfactory chuckle before following Cree out the door, not even giving him a chance to return and hand her the paper.

Poor Antione.

**********

Sunday, October 17 | 6:13 p.m.
Ole Sales - grocery store

-

"I know you tired, pooh, but we need a couple of things from the store. Come on." I reach into Jamari's car seat and pull him out, rubbing his back as he yawns.

I don't really want to get out either, but we need breakfast ingredients and snacks for the house plus, I've run out of pads. Getting them from the grocery store isn't ideal since they they're a overpriced by at least two dollars here, but I'm not stopping twice so it'll have to do. The parking lot is pretty vacant for a Sunday, but I'm not too surprised. This particular building isn't the most well kept and updated.

We spent a couple of hours at Lira's apartment after brunch, fawning over how well she's decorated the place and Jamari fell asleep there, not even waking up when I put him in the car.

The cold air is unwelcoming, both of us grimacing at its touch, and only makes me speed through the store, collecting everything and then some in under twenty-five minutes — a new record for me. The sunset on the way back to the car is a beautiful one and I'm so busy staring at it, that I don't even notice the man approaching us until Jamari points.

"Wassup, son?" Farad speed walks towards me, eyebrows pulled together in his signature annoyed expression. "Aye, maybe yo' auntie need to learn the difference between regular conversation and a nigga actually flirting with her. Bitch think she somebody special."

I blink, taking a moment to register his words and his physical proximity. "The only bitch here is the nigga who felt comfortable enough to comment his 'lil sister's' ass and in the first place. Get the fuck out my face with allat."

I push the buggy forward, putting some distance between us and he chuckles darkly, leisurely following behind. "Ain't no reason for me to be worried about yo ass when I'm still bussin in yo' sister. Use yo' fuckin' head."

My heart drops, but I keep walking, unlocking my cardoors and swiftly throwing the majority of the grocery bags inside. After all that he's done, Gabriella is still messin' with him? I knew that she felt like I was overreacting, but I didn't realize that it was because she was still fucking his bum ass. I straighten my face, choking back the betrayal and disgust that I feel, before turning around to grab another bag.

"Yeah, even Gab not worried about that stupid shit that you went and told yo' folks. None of y'all gone keep me from my son so get over it." Farad's voice gets clearer as he catches up to us.

The sky crackles with a strike of lightning and thunder, startling Jamari and he whines, reaching his arms out for me.

"Boy, stop allat weak ass cryin'. That's another reason why I hate you being around them so much. They tryna raise' you to be a sissy."

Jamari wraps his arms around my neck when I pick him up, whipping my body around to come face to face with Farad. He has an amused gleam in his eyes and his hand his clutching his waistband. "Talkin' bout you was uncomfortable, I can make you uncomfortable. You ain't seen shit."

Other people in this situation would probably swing regardless of the consequences, but if I'm being real, I'm scared as fuck. Farad beat Gab when she was pregnant, in front of his homeboys, and even in front of Jamari before. I have no doubt that he'd do the same thing to me, especially in this empty ass parking lot. Hell, he probably wouldn't hesitate to hurt his own son too.

I take a deep breath, side stepping Farad, and place my nephew in his car seat just as the sky opens up and rain comes pouring out of it.

This gone be the first and last time I let a nigga completely bitch me out, I promise.

Farad creepily watches me walk around my car and get behind the wheel, now wearing a smug expression that makes me sick. The only smart thing he does is move out of the way when it's time for me to back out. He trots backward, eventually turning around completely towards the store, pulling up his loose pants — his firearm tucked snuggly into his boxers. I stare until he completely fades from my rear view mirror, my mood soiled.

Time for me to get a fucking gun myself.