Chapter Forty-Four

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Priya stood silently in the kitchen doorway and watched Carson close the front door. He quietly slid the deadbolt into place and stepped back, his gaze set on the ground as he slid down the wall. Pulling his knees up to his chest, Carson buried his face in his hands, rocking slowly back and forth.

She wondered whether she should leave him alone. He didn't look in a mood to welcome company, and even if he were, she doubted that she would be the one he sought out. However, right now, she knew there was nobody else who would quite understand what he was going through. Edeline could hear his thoughts about it, sure, but she wouldn't understand exactly how it felt. Even Priya didn't understand fully. She'd been accepted into Kaleb's pack before she truly understood what a pack meant.

Crossing the hallway, Priya slid down the wall to sit beside him. Carson sniffed and turned his head further from her. Laying her hand on his knee, Priya leaned back on the wall and closed her eyes.

She could hear the pull of skin against skin, and when she peeked sideways, Carson was rubbing his eyes. He took a deep breath and sat up a little straighter.

"Kaleb's bluffing," he said. "He'll accept you back, even without my head."

Forcing a bleak laugh, he shrugged.

"Unless you want to stark hacking now?"

Priya shrugged.

"I'd considered it. I'm sure they have some pretty sharp knives in that kitchen. I heard talk there was a chainsaw specifically saved for times like this."

His laugh was as hollow and sad as his smile. Falling silent, he shifted where he sat and stared at the wall opposite.

"I've lived here my entire life."

"Spencer and August are leaving," she replied. "It's never too late to make a new start."

Carson's eyes narrowed as he glanced at her, his lip twisting in a sarcastic sneer.

"The epitome of the lone wolf, right?"

"You wouldn't take Edeline with you?"

He didn't answer her. Instead, he stretched his legs out before him and sighed. He went back to staring blankly at the wall.

The silence felt comfortable at first, that quiet sorrow and fear at what would come next. But the longer they sat there, the more the words bubbled up into her throat, longing to be let free. She held them back, grinding her teeth and trying to come up with as many reasons as she could to say quiet.

"I could come with you." The words tumbled past her lips to land with a wet splat on the floor. "Start a new pack?"

She felt like an idiot. Carson barely tolerated her most of the time. He wouldn't want her as a pack mate, much less the only pack mate. He'd probably say that he was better off alone than with only her for company. However, if anything, it only made the words come faster.

"I know we don't always get along all the time, and I've not always agreed with you," she continued. "But you're a good man, Carson. I'd be lucky to call you my alpha."

The world jittered into slow motion. Carson turned to her at such a glacial pace that she wondered if he was figuring out how to tell her that she was insane. His lips parted and then closed again. He blinked a number of times and looked away. He opened his mouth again.

"But you could go back," he murmured. "He'd take you back."

"And if I don't want to go?"

Carson shook his head.

"You'll regret it, Priya. I'm not an alpha. I've proved that I don't deserve it."

Reaching across the gap, Priya grasped Carson's hand and pulled it into her lap. Clutching it tight in her lap, she lifted her free hand and bit hard into the fleshy side of her palm. Without her wolf jaws, it took a lot more effort to get through the skin, but it finally broke beneath her canines, and a few drops of blood rose to the surface.

"Then we deserve each other," she said, offering him her bleeding hand. "Please, Carson?"

She wasn't sure if he would take her offering. She thought he might jump to his feet and once again tell her that she should return to Kaleb. Staring at her hand, almost transfixed by it, Carson took a few quick breaths. He was pale and clammy, looking like he might be sick. But he took her hand in his and lifted it to his lips. His lips were cracked and dry when he pressed them against her palm, and when he pulled back, her blood had stained the centre of the bottom lip.

Once he had made his decision, Carson didn't waste any time in biting down on his thumb until it bled. Priya swiped the blood clear with her tongue.

"And that is as intimate as we're ever going to get, are we clear?" she said with a triumphant smile.

Carson chuckled quietly and nodded, his gaze drifting back to the kitchen door. His longing for intimacy clearly elsewhere.

The first time Priya had submitted to an alpha, it had been Kaleb and she'd been newly turned. She didn't really remember it, truth be told. It was perfunctory, a drop of blood on her tongue, and a willing offering of her own blood. She remembered feeling different, but she wouldn't have been able to explain it to someone who had not been through the same thing. There were those who were born to the pack that never went through it. Their bond was already in their blood, they had felt it their entire lives.

Yet now, Priya felt it with absolute clarity. It blossomed through her body, warm, golden vines that bound around her. They grew, invisible, and stretched out of her body to bind her with Carson. When she looked up, Carson was smiling gently at her.

"Well, since there's just the two of us," he said. "I guess that makes you my Beta."

Priya nodded and leaned close, resting her head on his shoulder. Turning his head, Carson pressed his lips against her hair.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I won't let you down again. I promise."


AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey all. Not much to say today. Just a quick note to say thank you for reading, and remember to vote and comment. 

Until next week

Chele

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