Finally Fallen For the Beast

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Quesoftheday: Do you have any weird habitual thing to do before going to bed or after waking up in the morning? Feel free to share/not share.



Happiness, they say that start finding happiness in little things and that’s how your life becomes beautiful. But they never say that they have started finding happiness in little things once they gave up dreaming about happiness achieving big things.

I dreamt bigger, that’s how I got here. Working in one of the biggest selling magazine worldwide, it was a dream. But seeing my name printed at the edge of the cover page, I didn’t dream about that.

“Still worried about Louis huh?” Bebe asks tossing a popcorn inside her mouth as she wiggles her toes in the air laying down on my bed beside me.

It’s been more than a day I haven’t seen Louis and honestly, it feels like I have never felt this anxious, not even on the day my 8th grade chemistry results came out. I hate this subject more than the whole world hates Donald Trump! It’s an inestimable hate, it’s unexplainable.

“Of course I’m. After all, I was the one who made him angry.” I sigh tossing my head back, leaning against the headboard as Bebe rests her lazy Sunday head on my thighs.

At least I was relieved when Shawn texted me that Zayn was talking to Louis over phone yesterday night and he was laughing. Of course Zayn would not laugh by his own if Louis was in an unfitting situation. I’ve texted Louis a sorry text, expecting no replies from him and he hasn’t let my expectation drown in misery.

“You've finally fallen for the beast, beauty.” Bebe chuckles throwing a popcorn to me and my skillful moves don’t fail to take it inside my mouth.

“Nothing like that. Falling for him would be so foolish. Do you think he’s that type after I told you what he did to say simply sorry to me? And he was with Oren to………………………”

“That’s because he loves you, you tiny shoe lace! I can see it crystal clearer than the white logo on your expensive adidas sneakers! Why won’t you see even with your big big glasses! Go to an optimist you gourd head!” She sits up on the bed in front of me crossing her legs and then crosses her hands over her chest.

“Bebe………….” I sigh after closing my eyes and opening it again. “If I take chance, it’s not only me who is taking a chance when Fiona’s life is fully dependent on me. It’s not about only the past I can tell him, it’s about the people from the past who has tried to ruin my present only a few days ago.”

I stop as my voice starts to crack. Bebe takes my hands in her and caresses her thumbs over them gently.

I know I have some feelings for Louis but I’m afraid he’s not stable enough to accept my past. What if he hates me after knowing about my past? What if he ditches me just like he did to my sister? I know he’s dangerous but that’s the attractive thing about him. Because I like the dominancy when I surpass his danger zones.

“I’m not inspiring you to hook up with him or something, I’m just unfolding the things which are blindfolding you. You know I can always turn into a lesbian if you don’t get anyone straight to marry before you turn into eighty four years old right?” Bebe smiles widely cupping my cheeks and starts singing thinking out loud by Ed Sheeran.

“You Bald head of Voldemort!” We both burst into laughter as I hit her on the head with a pillow. “I’d rather marry a skeleton rather than losing a best friend like you!”

My phone vibrating beside the pillow makes both of us alert as we tilt our heads towards it expecting the same thing.

“It’s not him. It’s an unknown number.” I roll my eyes before picking up the call.

“Hello Reen?” My eyes widen as I hear the common yet unexpected female voice on the other side of the phone.

“Johnnah! How have you been?” I smile and then roll my eyes as Bebe presses her ear against the back of my phone.

“How can you expect this lonely woman to stay good after my only companion Fiona left the house?” I hear her faint smile which twists my heart. “Anyway, do you have any other number of Zayn which doesn’t end with 33? I’ve been trying to reach him but it’s switched off.”

“This is the only number Zayn uses and what happened Johannah? Anything I can help you with?” I ask as I realize her voice is worried though she’s hiding it.

“No it’s just…………………….” She is cut off and my eyes widen as I hear the noise of glass shattering on the floor.

“Johannah are you alright?” I feel my heartbeat getting odd as she takes time to answer. Being impatient I ask her the same thing with a voice full of concern this time with a yell though I didn’t want to.

“Is it Louis?” Standing up from my bed doesn’t even help my unstable behavior. “Johannah answer me is it Louis I beg you!”

“Yes it is.” A whimper mixed with tears reaches my ears as she replies finally. “That’s why I’m looking for Zayn because he’s the only one who can calm him down as Harry can’t, anymore.” Johannah is cut off by another sound of glass shattering, louder this time.

Not bothering to forward the conversation anymore, I led my don’t know what to do steps to downstairs. I don’t waste my time to tell Bebe to take care of Fiona as I know she already knows, my best friend is always here for me. Once I get out from the house and started driving already, I realize that my feet are naked. Sighing at my stupidity, I succeed to make my way to my destination less than the required time. I rush towards the brown wooden door as soon as my car is parked.

“Where’s L………………”

I cut myself off and nod looking at Johannah before passing her and walking fast towards Louis’ room. Sucking in a long breathe, I swirl the doorknob and push the door slowly. I take a step forward as I notice his back. By the prompt movement of his shoulders, I can tell he’s fuming. My eyes scan the whole room in a second as I see pillows, a couple of off white suits and glasses on the floor.

“Mom I’m sorry I …………….”

My lips apart and a fearful shiver is passed through my whole body when the man in off white hoodie turns around at me. A sudden weakness makes my knees cold as his gaze falls on me, his clenched jaw moving along with the veins on his knuckles. I blink looking at him as an uncomfortable silence fills the air around us, only my unsteady heartbeat reaching my ears.

“What do you want?” Louis’ cold whisper nearly makes me flinch.

“Y….you.” I close my eyes as I understand I just said something inappropriate, something which is not the answer. “I want you to stop all these.”

This time my body doesn’t fail to flinch as Louis’ laughter starts to boom against the walls. I walk towards him and hold him by his elbow when he fails to keep himself stood. Surprising me he doesn’t jerk my hand away. Leading him to the bed, I make him sit on the edge and fill a glass with water before sitting beside him.

My eyes beg to get heavy when I see Louis wiping away the tears from his cheeks with the long sleeve of his hoodie jacket. He sniffles and takes the glass of water from my hand, emptying the glass without leaving a breath.

“Today is the day I killed him.” An incautious desolation takes place inside my chest as Louis starts talking, looking at me with his bloodshot eyes. “Five years ago, I was returning home with him. He made it all the way to here from California just to see his son’s first house bought ever. But I couldn’t drive my dad to my home safely.”

A teardrop rolls down my cheeks as I take Louis’ hands in mine, squeezing them lightly as I see his eyes getting glittery.

“We both were inside the same car, singing to some old band songs and I was driving then……………………………..” I take my lips between my teeth as Louis’ shaky voice cuts him off.

“Louis I’m sorry.” I whisper leaning closer, cupping his soaked cheeks with my hands.

“I killed my dad? I'm so selfish, I saved myself! I did……….I…………..”

“Louis stop! Stop talking unusual!” I jerk him by his shoulders and sit in front of him on my knees. “It was meant to be, you had nothing to do. It was an accident Louis!”

“No Reen,” He sniffles making eye contact with me. “It’s me, I was drunk and suddenly we got in a argument about my recent friendship problems with Harry. I’m tired. I’m ruined. I deserved to die instead of him!"

Paying no heed to his mutterings, I push him towards the pillowcases as I notice his eyelids getting heavy, trying to hide his bloodshot eyes. I manage to lay down his almost unconscious body on the bed and he curls up in a ball as soon as his head meets the big pillows. Pulling the blanket over him I stand up from the bed but stop when I feel Louis’ fingers around my wrist.
Turning around, my heart melts as his pleading eyes speaks for him. Thousands of positive and negative thoughts start to hammer my mind as Louis tells me to stay and gestures me to be beside him. I take my lips between my teeth, trying to read my indecisive mind.

“I’m just begging you to stay, stay? I need you Reen, I need you.” Louis whispers, his eyes half open as my full wrist is still inside his loosen grip.

Knowing exactly what I’m doing, I slowly slid my shivering legs down the blanket, leaning my head against the headboard. Louis’ sparkling eyes slowly starts to get covered by his eyelids fully as he intertwines his fingers with mine strongly. He proves me wrong when his fingers remains tight around mine as I thought they’d loosen once he’s asleep. I stop myself from getting up when his other hand snakes my waist with a groan, pulling me closer to him.

“Is he even sleeping?” I whisper to myself looking at him, sticking up my tongue at the sleepy baby face in front of me.

“Yes I’m sleeping and please stop trying to get out.”

My eyes widen as the words comes out from the fully sleeping man in front of me. I lean my face closer to his and tickle the tip of his nose but he doesn’t move. I lean further with plans to tease him more but my eyes pop up before realizing what’s happening.

An electricity passes down my spine as Louis wraps my lips with his. I release my warm breathe and lean my head against his as he looks at me.

“Kiss me back Reen, Kiss me back please.” He mumbles as he makes him lean forward with the help of his elbows pressed against the bed.

“Louis…………..” I stutter as he cups my cheeks.

My eyes moves from his eyes to his lips as the words showers down from his lips gently. There is no claim in his eyes, no lust in his voice. His hands slowly reaches my cheeks as he strokes small circles there, pushing my hair behind my ears.

“Just kiss me back, I won’t make you regret it later, it’s a word.” He tells before gently pulling my lips with his, softly brushing them with mine as a soft whimper leaves my lips when I kiss him back.

I look at him as he smiles looking at me and wraps me with his arms. I let myself relax by closing my eyes and finding my comfort zone in his arms. As Louis fully blankets my arms with his, I don’t hesitate to make the moment work for both of us.

Maybe we just need each other and the necessity is beyond everything, that’s why we’re pulled together again and again with time.

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