Chapter 6

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I leaned against my truck, my jeans probably getting filthy from the unwashed exterior. I checked my watch and straightened my shirt as I watched the door of the McDonald's from the parking lot. I shifted my footing, trying to relieve any anxiousness I had in me.

It was sixteen minutes passed five o'clock before Calvin walked out, holding his uniform in one hand. Instead of his uniform, he had a Jean button up on and a pair of kacky pants. I suddenly felt very underdressed for our spontaneous meetup.

"Hey," He said, his voice cheerful. I smiled at him tentatively.

"Hi. Uh, should I have dressed nicer?" I muttered with a chuckle. He shook his head.

"No, it's fine. I'm hard to keep up with."

I accepted that, nodding. We just stood there for a second, and I felt incredibly awkward, but then I said,

"Where do you want to go?"

He didn't even have to think about it, nor did he say anything before he crawled into my car as he spoke.

"I know a place. Come on, I'll give you directions."

I got in the car with him, and once we were buckled up, he began to give me directions. I kept up easily, and once I was on the right track, he plugged his phone into my aux cord.

"Man, I hope your music taste doesn't suck," I mumbled, smirking. I heard him chuckle.

"It doesn't, trust me."

"Trust you? I just met you."

"And, you've invited me into your car and let me lead you wherever I want without telling you where we're going. You're an anomaly, sir."

He put on a song I knew well; Rollercoaster by Bleachers. I remembered it from Love, Simon. The song itself was very good, and its use in the movie melted my heart. I felt happy listening to it.

Noting my bopping head and ever-growing smile, Calvin said, "I'm guessing you don't hate my music taste."

"Not at all."

"I'm glad to hear it."

I hoped he was as smiley and dopey as I was listening to that song. I didn't know what it was, but the song just made me giddy.

"Oh, pull over here!"

I did as I was instructed and laughed as I saw where we were; a very colourful, but old, playground. It had four swings, two normal ones and two baby ones. Attached to a pair of rickety monkey bars was a play set with two slides sitting side by side and one twisty one. It even had a merry-go-round.

"This is where you wanted to go?"

"Yeah, why not?"

I didn't answer, instead just grinning and shaking my head as we both climbed out of my car, the key turned only enough so the music would keep playing.

Calvin insisted I was going too slow and grabbed me by the forearm to pull me over to the merry-go-round. He hopped on, releasing me in the process, letting it spin him around slowly.

"Push me!" He exclaimed, sounding like a child. I chuckled, but obliged, grabbing onto the handles and turning it as fast as I could. I stood back and watched as he squealed, letting his head fall back carelessly. Not a worry in the world. I wonder what that feels like.

"Are you getting on?"

"While it's moving? Do you want me to go to the hospital?"

He put his foot down and let it drag on the gravel until the merry-go-round until it stopped, then got off and gestured for me to get on. I was thoroughly amused.

"You're a child," I pointed out, but sat on the equipment anyway. He grabbed the handles the same as I did and spun me around.

It was surprisingly fun.

"It's more fun to be a child! Who wants to grow up, anyway?"

He had a good point. Why grow up, when you can listen to music at a playground?

The next song that played made me smile grow wider. The oogum boogum song by Brenton Wood.

So, I let my head fall back and closed my eyes, watching colours dance behind my lids, mirroring a watercolour painting. I allowed a careless feeling to enter my body and accepted that, for at least one night, I'd be able to be myself.

We listened to Calvin's playlist booming from my truck as we goofed around at the playground. We raced each other to the swings and had competitions to see who could get more height when we jumped off. We scaled the playset and walked across the safety handles like they were tight ropes. We danced around the fireman pole and laughed at each other's terrible abilities.

The two of us laid down on the bed of my truck, feeling the bass of the music on our backs. Hours had passed, and the sun had set, leaving the sky full of stars and a crescent moon.

"What now?" I asked, watching the sky instead of him.

"Wow, way to ruin the moment."

"Excuse me. Please, continue to lie in silence then," I replied sarcastically, but it did feel good to lay beside him, listening to a soft song playing over the speakers. In that moment, I could have stayed there forever.

Then, my truck shut off, and took the music with it.

I propped myself up on my elbows, craning my neck to look inside through the back window. The lights inside were off.

"We drained the battery," Calvin muttered, and when I turned to him he had a sheepish smile on his face.

"You drained the battery."

He blushed. "Yeah, you're right. I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry about it," I laid back down beside him, my head turned so I was looking him in the eyes. "It gives me an excuse to stay."

His grin widened as he marched my look and nodded. A moment went by, the both of us just looking at each other in silence, before Calvin sat up and said, "Let's play a game."

I sat up with him, crossing my legs the way they tell kindergarteners to. "What game?"

"Never have I ever."

"Is this a sleepover? And are you fourteen?"

"Maybe so. Do you want to play or not, Drewy?"

It felt weird to hear him say my name, especially because he only learned it a couple hours ago while I was singing a song of victory after winning one of our races.

When he said my name, it sounded different from when Brent said my name, and foreign to the way Joseph said it. Maybe it was just his voice. Maybe not.

"Yeah, I'll play."

"Cool. We don't have anything to drink, so we're playing it the middle school way; with five fingers."

I chuckled, then copied him in sticking up my hand. I gestured for him to go first.

"Never have I ever went skinny dipping," he said. I smirked, then put down my thumb. Calvin laughed. "Of course you had. How did I know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Never have I ever... went to school drunk."

Calvin put down a finger. My eyes widened.

"No way!"

"And I threw up in the middle of class."

"Holy shit. Did you get in trouble?"

"No. I lied and said I had food poisoning."

We both laughed at that. "Wow, the people at your school must be very dumb."

"They are. Okay, never have I ever cheated on a test."

I put down a finger.

"Never have I ever started a fight."

He put down a finger.

"Never have I ever lied to someone to get a date."

I put down a finger.

"Never have I ever flirted my way out of a ticket."

He put one down.

"Never have I ever watched an episode of Gossip Girl."

I didn't do anything.

"Never have I ever cried for attention."

Calvin laughed, then folded his second to last finger. It was his turn, but he paused. I urged him to continue.

"Be patient! I need to think..." He took a moment, then offered, "Never have I ever kissed a girl."

My last finger folded, making my hand a fist. He celebrated.

"Hey, give me a chance for a tie!"

"Okay, okay. What do you got?"

I hesitated. What did I have? What was something that I was almost sure he'd done that I hadn't?

"Never have I ever kissed a boy."

Calvin stared at me for a moment, before dropping his hand into his lap and saying, "Alright, you got your tie."

I cheered, but he didn't say anything as he watched me. I laid back down on my back, and he did too. He was looking at me, I could feel his eyes burning into my temple, but I continued to look at the sky ahead.

"So, you've never...?"

"Nope."

"Not once?"

"Well, you've never kissed a girl. It's the same."

"Oh."

He sounded disapointed. What had I said to disappoint him? It wasn't my fault that I'd never kissed a boy. It's not like I didn't want to. I wanted to really bad, but I couldn't. Not yet.

I finally turned to face him, and only then did I realize how close we were. Our foreheads were a centimetre apart at most, and his breath smelled like Fruitopia. I was looking at his lips when he said, "Have you ever... wanted to?"

My eyes shot back up. My mind was screaming Hell yeah we do! but I was so used to lying. I was so used to being the guy to push someone away, tell them they were disgusting. That always ended with laughing, and then admitting that they were just screwing with me. That wouldn't be how it would go this time, I could feel it.

Still, I didn't know how to answer.

"Uh, maybe..." I replied, lamely. Of course I wanted to! But, I didn't know how to say that.

However, that was all Calvin needed. He leaned forward, slow enough to give me the chance to stop him.

I didn't, though.

He kissed me, and left me trying to figure it out. Kissing Calvin was different from kissing girls; he was rougher. His lips were dry. His face had stuble.

I pulled away before he did.

He was cautious when he spoke next, like he was afraid of ruining what he'd just done.

"Uh, s-sorry, I just--"

"Don't apologize. It's fine." I smiled at him. He smiled back, before leaning toward me again, and his lips were almost touching mine when I interupted him.

"Calvin."

He moved back, his eyes meeting mine. There was something in his. Confusion? Frustration? I couldn't tell.  I opened my mouth, but he spoke before me.

"You're not gay."

I shook my head. "No, I am, I just feel weird."

"Weird?"

I felt myself blush. How do I talk about this? I'd never had to tell a girl to stop before. Now I was with the gender I prefered to be with, and I was backing out.

God, I'm an idiot.

"Wrong," I stated, my voice becoming tiny and insecure. Calvin nodded, turning his head to the sky again. I matched him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"It's okay, Drew. You don't like me like that. I get it."

I sighed. "I wish I did like you, Calvin. I really do. I... I thought I did..."

"It's fine. I shouldn't have tried anything."

"You had every right. I asked you out. I hope I didn't ruin your night."

He turned and smiled at me, and made me feel a hundred times more guilty for my shitty feelings.

"You didn't ruin anything."

And, in that moment, I wasn't a teenager with a hundred responsibilities and obligations, or the high schooler hiding from himself. I wasn't Brent's closeted best friend, or Marks troublesome nephew. I was just a boy, laying beside a new friend, and waiting for a shooting star so I can wish for simplicity.

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