Chapter 14

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Calvin stood out like a beam of light in the parking lot. Maybe that was because he was so handsome, and everything in and around that school was so mundane. But seeing him made me nervous. I felt like I had a gay energy radiating off of me. I wondered if anybody else could see it.

"Cal," I said, glancing over my shoulder before focusing on him entirely. "What are you doing here?"

He still did look very angry. He put his hand on his hip and pursed his lips at me.

"We have to talk," He said. My chest felt tight with anxiety. "You haven't been answering my calls or texts, so seeing you in person was my only option."

I nodded in understanding. He was right. I had been ignoring him, and I probably would have kept ignoring him if he hadn't showed up.

"Can we go somewhere?" He asked. "So we can talk?"

I sighed and said, "I have to wait for Brent. I'm driving him home."

He huffed. "Brent. Of course."

I furrowed my brow at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"All you ever do is spend time with him," He said. "That boy has got you totally whipped. Do you even have a life of your own outside of spending time with him?"

That did fuel some anger in me. Brent was a touchy subject for anyone to bring up to me. He was basically my brother. Of course, some part of my life revolved around him. And his revolved around me. But we still had lives.

"Obviously I have a life," I retorted, "But he needs me right now."

"I need you right now, Drew!" He shot back, and the volume startled me enough that I shushed him. That seemed to offend him even more, but I didn't care. I glanced around the parking lot. A couple people were idling by their cars or bicycles, and a small percentage of these people were looking at us. I turned back to Calvin, feeling flustered already.

"Get in the truck," I said, "We can talk after I drop Brent off. Okay?"

Calvin sighed heavily but he nodded. He got in the passenger side and I climbed into the front seat. Once both doors were shut, he turned in his seat to look at me. His eyes danced around my face for a moment, and the fury in him seemed to have vanished.

"Be honest, Drew," He said. There was something in his voice that made me hold my breath. "Should I be worried about you?"

I hesitated and looked away from him. I felt his eyes boring into my skin but I didn't know how to respond. How do I answer a question like that?

Thankfully, I didn't have to. Brent hopped in the back seat and saved me.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Brent said as he buckled his seatbelt. "Coach wouldn't let me leave. It's because of my fucking math grade. I don't know what my ability to do algebra has to do with football, but-"

"Brent," I interrupted, turning around in my seat to see him. "This is Calvin."

Calvin gave Brent a small smile and Brent raised a brow at me.

"Calvin?" He repeated, as if he should have recognized the name. I sighed.

"College guy," I clarified. His eyes lit up.

"Oh," He sang. He flashed Calvin a big smile, his puppy-like best friend excitement as strong as ever. "Nice to finally meet you! I've heard a lot about you."

He said that suggestively, though it wasn't entirely true. I didn't talk a lot about Calvin. What we had was ours, I didn't want to share it with anybody. Not even Brent, for some reason.

"Uh, you, too," Calvin replied. He wasn't as charismatic as he usually was, and I presumed that was my fault. He was only here because he was pissed at me, so I couldn't blame him for not being his usual, friendly self to my best friend.

I started to drive and the car was silent save for the sound of the air conditioner. I glanced in the mirror and caught a glimpse of Brent, giving me a face that said "What the fuck is going on?"

I didn't answer him. I kept my eyes on the road even though I could feel both of the boys in the car staring right at me.

When we stopped at Brent's place, he hesitated before getting out of the car. He unbuckled his seatbelt and cleared his throat.

"Um, are you coming in?" He asked, his eyes bouncing between me and Calvin. I shook my head.

"No," I answered. "But, I'll catch you later, man. Okay?"

"Oh. Okay. Thanks for the ride."

He sounded disappointed. He climbed out of the car and I waited until I saw the front door shut behind him to leave. I always did that, just to make sure he made it in the house okay.

Me and Calvin drove to a pond at the end of a dirt road that barely had enough room for the truck. I somehow managed to turn the truck around so it would be easier to get back out.

We both got out and climbed into the bed of the truck, looking out on the water.

We weren't looking at each other directly, but I could see him clearly out of the corner of my eye.

Calvin took a deep breath before speaking.

"What the fuck happened?" He asked. "I thought everything was fine. I thought we were fine. But then we kissed and you disappeared. That's fucked up, Drew."

I winced. He was right. About everything.

"I know," I replied quietly.

"So...? What happened?"

"Nothing," I said, then begrudgingly corrected, "Not nothing. Something. Something... fucking huge and I'm processing and I'm trying to take care of Brent and I should have reached out to you but I'm a total asshole and I didn't. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't really know what's wrong with him, either. I feel like it's all on my back, though. Like I have to take care of him. I'm all he's got, but I can't be everything for him because I have to be something for myself, too. I just... don't know how to handle things." I was rambling, speaking a mile a minute with no breaths in between words. I was shaking like a leaf. I had a horrible taste of word vomit in my mouth.

Calvin's hand made its way to mine. He intertwined our fingers and gave me the strength to make eye contact with him.

"You can talk to me, Drew," He said softly. "You don't have to get through everything alone. You don't have to take care of him. I know you want to and he's your best friend, but you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else."

I squeezed his hand gently and lied through my teeth.

"I love myself," I told him. "I just think he needs all my love right now."

"Brent is a big boy," Calvin disagreed. "He can handle himself, I'm sure."

"You don't know him like I know him."

Calvin sighed but took my word for it. There was still tension in the air, understandably. I hadn't given him a very good excuse for my absence.

He asked, "This 'something' that happened... can you tell me about it?"

I shook my head firmly. I wasn't ready. It was built up in me but releasing it would be a tsunami. And Calvin of all people shouldn't be the one to suffer the damages.

"I'm sorry, Cal," I mumbled. "I just can't."

He nodded sadly. He slid closer to me and laid his head down on my shoulder. He placed the lightest of kisses on my jaw before we both settled in comfortably, with no one around to see us except the water and the trees.

(A/N: ..and a million years later, I've returned!

Thank you to everyone who still follows this story. You all have amazing patience lol. I will be making some changes to the original plot I was following. You won't have to reread anyting except the description for context, and I'll have a proper authors note coming up next so everything makes sense. I'm sorry for all the authors notes I've had to make, but my mind has shifted on this story a lot and I think this is the only way I can continue the story without too many road blocks.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this new installment! Let me know how you feel!)

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