T H I R T Y T H R E E

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๐˜'๐˜ท๐˜ฆ ๐˜ญ๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฌ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฅ ๐˜ข ๐˜ด๐˜ฐ๐˜ฏ๐˜จ ๐˜ง๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ ๐˜ต๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ด ๐˜ค๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฑ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ ๐˜ข๐˜ฃ๐˜ฐ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ, ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ซ๐˜ฐ๐˜บ.

My doggo is very ill, please pray for him.
I've added a picture of him to bless you all with cuteness, I hope he'll be okay soon and come back stronger :,)

Update : he's absolutely fine now :))

โ€ผ๏ธSame skies (A mafia romance), is out nowโ€ผ๏ธ

โ™ฅ๏ธ

"X-Xander, what is happening, why aren't you saying anything? S-she's been sleeping for two days now. P-please, I d-don't understand" my cracked as I closed my eyes to stop myself from tearing away again.

Alex, control yourself.

When did I start feeling so many emotions?

When did my world start revolving around someone I didn't even know? Why did she give up on herself for someone like me?

Did someone lose in this game of life?

Someone who's only alive for revenge?

I opened my eyes again and calmed myself down, I- just don't want anything to happen to her.

"Xander, please, I beg you. Why isn't she waking up? Why aren't you letting me see her? I-I r-really new-need her, I c-cant ex-explain it b-but I n-need t-to see her. Who-Whoever she I-is, it d-doesn't matter, s-she's my p-princess...please j-just let m-me see her." I begged, again.

Xander looked up at me and pressed his lips in a thin line. He knew it, he knew damn well that I've never cried over anyone other than dad.

He damn well knows that it's killing me, slowly, not knowing what's happening.

"Alex" I looked straight back at Xander, something inside me cracked in relief.

He is finally talking, after two days.

I nodded, indicating Xander to go on, to tell me, why it my p-princess who has to suffer.

Why, it is, her, who is inside the hospital room and not me.

Why did she choose to suffer just to protect me?

"Alex, you need to understand what I'm saying very carefully right now and don't panic or go overboard, Okay?" I frowned, what is he trying to say? Nothing happened to Sierra, I was sure of it. She was breathing and talking when I got her to the hospital, she just fainted.

"Sierra, she woke up once, yesterday but I've given her sedatives to keep her out until evening" My eyes grew big as I clenched my jaws.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked and kept my face calm, I knew, Xander would never do anything bad to me. If anything, he'd die for me, I trusted him with my life but I was angry.

"I didn't tell you because she refused. She refused to recognize me and everyone else."

What is he trying to say, Princess never hit her head or anything like that?

"Xander, be clear," I asked and gulped, for some reason, I didn't like the vibe surrounding us.

"Sierra is fine, mentally, mostly. But, she has deliberately chosen to forget everything from the past. It's called motivated forgetting in medical terms. She's chosen to get rid of unwanted memories or memories that are even partly associated with her pain. She's suffering from a trauma of a kind, she refused to let anyone touch her and kept screaming for safe. When I asked her who safe was, she stilled, she didn't even know who was crying for on her own" I took a step back and fell onto the cold metal chair behind me, it's because of me.

It's always because of me, first, my dad, and now my princess.

I taint everyone.

It's me, I am bad.

I am wrong, but, Sierra is here. She hasn't left as dad did, I could protect her, right?

She's my princess, I have to make her wishes come true, right?

"I am safe" I mumbled, softly.

"I am her safe, she calls me safe. I need to see her Xander, just...please let me see her." I requested and looked up at Xander.

"That's not it, Alex. There's more"

More? What more could be there?

Hasn't my princess suffered enough, already?

"What more, Xander? I just need to see her." I said, firmly.

"She's had a bad life, Alex. I checked her entire body and there are more than a dozen cigarette marks. Not only cigarette marks, but she also has a lot of unhealed and dislocated bones. They've been treated, but they were in a bad shape. They're all a sign of abuse, the worst of its kind. Her reports, they prove that she's been raped a few times and that her body has got used to broken bones at this point in time. Are you sure you'll be able to see her, with marks and scars covering her entire body? Will you be able to control yourself?"

My heart broke, it is pained.

It pained physically.

It pained me to breathe.

"Is this why her father, that coward, gave her away so easily? Was she just a mere replacement to him, d-did he abuse my p-princess?" I asked myself, and Xander nodded.

How did he know?

"Alex, I knew. I knew she was abused the day she slipped. She said she wasn't going to harm you but I felt protective, of you. I asked her to tell me everything or else, I'd tell you everything and she told me that she was abused by her father. She said she was supposed to be her twin sister's replacement but that she wanted to protect you. When she said she'd protect you, I didn't know it was going to be something this drastic. I-I'm sorry, I promised her that I won't tell you. She was, no she is my little sister. A promise to her was binding on me. I'm sorry"

Xander softly crouched beside me and wrapped his arm around me, mumbling a soft sorry as tears flew down my face.

I understood him, I trusted him but it hurts.

It hurts to know that the person I was doubting was protecting me.

The person, who I had unknowingly fallen in love with was hurting much more than I was.

It hurt to think of how my princess would always smile and get excited at the smallest of things, she treasured it. She's treasured our moments.

She loved me more than I love myself, and it's only fair that I give it back.

Give back the love, I received.

She can't forget me, she can't forget our memories.

I won't let her.

It's my turn now princess, my love is and will always be greater to my revenge.

I never realized, through the years that I had after all created a strong family for myself.

A family which was greater than blood relation, a family where Xander, Ian, Mary, and princess were always welcome.

โ™ฅ๏ธ

"Alex, be calm. I'll be outside, if you need any help, call me. Don't stress her out and take it slow" Xander kept on repeating the instructions and I nodded.

Be strong Alex, for princess just like she was, for you.

I entered inside the room Princess was in but kept my gaze on the ground.

Do I have the power to look at her?

Will I be able to take it if she looks at me as though she doesn't know me?

I closed my eyes and took a breath, you're her safe Alex. If you back off who'll stay by her side?

I slowly looked up and choked on my breathe.

No, no-no.

I tried to be calm while my vision started blurring within moments but I didn't let the tears all.

I had to be strong.

The sight in front of me was so familiar yet unknown.

The shirt, that had slightly ridden up showed her scars, they showed her experience, her beauty but it broke me.

Why her?

What did she ever do?

Sierra's arms were covered in black and blue marks because of the way she was manhandled, her lips were cut and slightly swollen and she still managed to look like the most beautiful person I'd ever seen.

Her waist, the slight part that was peeking out had bandages wrapped around it to cover up the burn marks while scars that were now healed were still visible.

Her beautiful big eyes were swollen. She had cried out in pain until I came because I was late.

It was all my fault.

The scars and pain my princess had to go through was because of me to a certain degree and her uncle, Harry, that bastรกrd, who was now resting behind the bars.

Mr. Vega, on the other hand, he was in for a treat by me. No one, absolutely no one harms my family. Especially, my princess.

I sat down beside Sierra and softly held her hand, it felt like I was getting my energy back.

Over time, she had become important to me. Being around her, even if it was just for eating helped me feel at home.

She was home, my home.

I hardly ever showed my emotions to her, when I did I lost control over myself. She made me lose control, she felt like a forbidden fruit. One, that was poisonous because I never knew. I blamed her for things she never did, I hated her for things she never took part in while all she did in return was love me, protect me.

It was my turn now, I'd be her wall.

Her safe.

I smiled through the pain and rubbed my thumb over Sierra's hand softly.

Sierra, the name felt weird but beautiful.

To me, she was my princess.

The day I broke down in front of her back when I was drunk, I knew.

I knew I found my queen. The one who'd rule over me but I was scared. Scared, that I'd break my dad's promise to get revenge.

In my mind, I always knew dad would've loved her. I should've known she wasn't Sara. The innocence, the excitement, the pure love.

Everything.

I looked up the see the same teal eyes, I had only seen once before and instantly fallen in love with now open.

"Princess, you're awake" I voice broke out, and placed multiple kisses on her hands.

She's okay, she's here.

She's here with me.

She looked at me blankly, with no emotions at all. Her hands were still in mine but she refused to take control of her body.

It's like she gave up.

I smiled, hiding my pain.

I'll be her wall, to protect her and for her to lean on.

"It's okay, no one will harm you anymore." I kept on repeating, as though trying to justify myself along with her.

Sierra looked blankly at the wall in front of her and moved her eyelids back at me, distancing herself from me without even moving.

She was broken, my princess my broken.

It hurt but I knew she needed space.

The same girl who got excited over the smallest thing and threw facts around all day long and gave everyone her unconditional love was now emotionless.

She had, to an extent, given up.

I wasn't ready to believe, she'd given up completely because I was here.

I'll save her as she saved me.

An older lady dressed as a nurse came inside the room and bowed down to me while I nodded but kept my face down, I wasn't in the condition to talk to anyone.

Not now.

"Hello lovely, I'll be injecting you with three needles, okay? They are a little thick, and they will pain but it's for a brighter tomorrow. It'll eventually take the pain away from your bones"

I winced when I saw the size of the needle, they were big and that too three of them.

The lady gently wiped Princess's skin and punctured in the needles inside her skin while My Princess sat there, without even blinking.

I felt my figure stiffen and my breath knock out.

I felt her pain, and it broke me.

It tore my heart into pieces.

When she wanted me to protect her, I was late but now. Now, I really was late.

I failed her.

Her safe failed her.

The tears I was holding in, fell out. They cried in misery with me. I failed my princess.

Out of guilt, my gaze went down concentrating on the floor. Will I even be able to get anything right in my life?

The nurse took out the needles and smiled gently at Sierra, "It gets better with time, lovely. You're so strong and look at your boyfriend here, he Hasn't left your side since you were admitted."

Sierra continued remaining void, her eyes slightly moved to look into mine for a sec and get lost again as the nurse left the room.

I can't do this, I need some water.

I need to be strong, I can't break down in front of my princess.

Right when I was about to leave, the nurse came into the room again with some food and water.

She smiled at me and signaled me to sit down and looked up at Sierra who continued staring into the void.

"Lovely, over here, hasn't had proper food since she was admitted and has been living off the food that was directly passed inside her system through the pipes. But, we've got a green light and she can now eat her food naturally again."

The nurse scooped up a small spoon of porridge and tried feeding it to Sierra but she refused to open her mouth and let the food fall down on her.

After ten minutes of constant struggle, the nurse kept her spirits high and look at me while smiling.

How was she able to smile so brightly? Seeing my princess this was breaking me.

"It seems like lovely, doesn't want to eat from my hands but I'm sure, she won't mind it if you feed her. After all, haven't you been sitting around here in hopes to spend time with her?"

The nurse quickly passed on the tray to me and looked at me encouragingly, "eating is very important for her recovery."

I nodded softly and Scooped up a small spoon of porridge to feed Princess.

I brought the spoon to her lips but she once again rejected it.

"Princess, eating is very important for your recovery. Please just eat" I begged almost stuttering as the tears I was holding in flew down.

I closed my eyes and calmed myself down quickly and looked up at Sierra "princess, please eat. For me? Eat for, Safe? Please"

Finally, Sierra looked at me, properly for the first time today. Her eyes zoom in on my tears as I wiped them quickly.

She titled her head slightly while I tried feeding her again, and to my surprise princess opened her mouth slowly and took in the food.

She ate.

The nurse smiled at me and picked up the glass of water and tried to feed Sierra but she became unresponsive again.

I frowned, "princess, please."

Sierra looked at me but still let the water flow down without drinking it, I gulped and took the glass from the nurse and tried feeding my princess.

She kept on staring into my eyes, as though trying to look into my soul and softly opened her mouth taking in soft sips of water.

"It's great, that she's listening to someone. She's been very unresponsive the whole time, the first time she woke up she kept on calling for 'safe' and after that, she's been out. No words, no emotions but she'll heal. Love heals" the nurse said softly and patted my back leaving me alone with my princess.

"I'm here, princess, safe is here. If you don't want anyone else to take care of you other than me then, it's completely fine. I'll be here, your safe will always be here for you from now on"

Sierra kept on staring back at me, with no emotions at all but it was a start.

She remembered me, she remembers her safe.

She wants her safe, she wants me here.

There's still hope

For princess

For me

For us

โ™ฅ๏ธ

๐“ฅ๐“ธ๐“ฝ๐“ฎ, ๐“’๐“ธ๐“ถ๐“ถ๐“ฎ๐“ท๐“ฝ ๐“๐“ท๐“ญ ๐“•๐“ธ๐“ต๐“ต๐“ธ๐”€.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY @tj_019 (ใฅ๏ฝกโ—•โ€ฟโ€ฟโ—•๏ฝก)ใฅ (pushed myself to update for you!)

Hi, Soobin is my spirit idol, ByE
Ps I don't Stan TXT but they're goooood

๐˜๐˜ฏ๐˜ด๐˜ต๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ณ๐˜ข๐˜ฎ- ๐˜ช๐˜ด๐˜ฉ๐˜ช.๐˜ฉ๐˜ข๐˜ฉ๐˜ข


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