𝘐'𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘦𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺.

♥️

"Sir, this lady is creating a lot of chaos, she's physically struggling even though the guards have tried to push her out of the premise multiple times"

I took in a deep breath, this is getting stressful.

"Put that lady on the phone"

There was a slight crack in the phone line and finally, a lady cried through the phone, "p-please, I beg you, please let m-me see my baby. I-I know y-you think I'm like her family, b-but Sierra is my b-baby. S-she's my daughter, I-I'd die for her. Please just le-let me see my baby. I ma-May not be her real m-mother, but she is and will forever be m-my daughter. Don't do t-this to a mother, p-please"

I sighed in frustration, Mary had recently started creating a lot of chaos and wasn't ready to go back until she saw Sierra, should I let her in?

Sierra never really said anything bad about Mary, but again, she never said anything bad about her father either.

"Fine, whatever. You can come inside, don't create any more Chaos. The guards will lead you inside" I grumbled and put down the phone, messaging the guard as well.

Mother.

The word itself sounded foreign.

Maybe, that is why I don't understand the struggle Mary is going through, because, I don't understand the love of a mother.

I shrugged, letting the uneasy feeling roll off me, and walked up to Maya letting her know that Mary was coming in around fifteen minutes since she'll have to go through the security checkpoint.

I left out the detail about how I didn't let Mary come in the last few days because I was sure she'd scold me mainly. After all, She's a very nice person and never looks at the bad side of things. I walked inside my bedroom and saw princess laying in bed with champ by her side, I walked up to her and caressed her face, softly.

"How are you feeling, Sierra?" I asked softly, princess looked up at me and stared with a slight flick of anger in her eyes before looking down at champ again. To most people, they won't notice the slight change and flick in her eyes but I did. She hated it when I called her anything other than princess and that, for some reason made me feel warm inside.

Maybe it was our thing.

"I'll just take champ and bathe him since his hair is getting sticky again, okay? He stays by your side all the time, I need to make sure he's healthy so that you're healthy too, okay? And don't worry, I have a surprise coming for you. I'll be back in less than thirty minutes."I got up with champ now in my arms but the moment I did, I heard a whimper and immediately turned to princess.

She was shaking slightly and scratching her waist. I quickly put champ down and sat down on the bed pulling princess into my lap.

I knew exactly what was happening, the therapist told me that some words particularly acted like a trigger, they put her memory back at the same time when things went down. "Princess, love, you're okay. I'm here, safe is here" I said, softly.

Princess kept looking around so I pulled her face down in between the crook of my neck and ran my hands through her hair, slowly, trying to calm her down.

I had recently realized, Princess felt particularly safe in my sweatshirt even though they fit her like a gown. I believe, it was because of my scent, it calmed her down.

By now, I sat with princesses legs draped around my waist from both sides while one of my hands held her waist, hoping to make her feel secure and my other hand ran through her long wavy hair.

After a few minutes, her whimpers stopped while I, myself, held onto her. It might seem like, she was the one needing me when in-fact it was quite the opposite, seeing her go through these moments of pain made me weaker than her. She usually recovered within five minutes while I sat there for hours, cursing my life.

What's the use?

She calls me safe, what did I do to deserve that title?

I failed her, again and again, and again.

Every time.

I hid my face in Sierra's neck and held onto her, she feels like-
no she is my only support. It's like, somehow, she keeps me sane. She stops my mind from wandering.

Wandering into the darker side of things.

She had more power over me than she knew, and I was, completely, vulnerable to her.

I knew, in my mind, that the woman I loved was one strong, loving, independent woman.

Tomorrow if I leave her, she won't crumble, she will survive.

She is my little fighter, princess doesn't need me as I need her.

Suddenly the door to my room swung open and champ started barking but stopped the moment Maya came in.

She looked at me and frowned but soon realized what might have gone down, she smiled softly at me and mouthed, 'Mary is here'

I nodded and tried to put Sierra down on the bed again but her legs tightened around my waist and she continued holding onto me now hiding my vision completely with her hair.

"S-Sierra" a new cracking voice came in, and Sierra stilled in my arms.

She turned herself, slowly but made sure my hands draped firmly around her waist.

I looked up to see an old lady with tears straining down her face, she looked like someone had put her through a hurricane.

"N-no, my baby, S-Sierra" she cried again and quickly went to Sierra, wrapping her hand's around princess who was still in my lap with her back facing my chest.

The lady continued crying, sobbing like, it was her who was in pain while I looked at Sierra whose face pressed in the lady's stomach sideways while she continued holding her.

Small tears fell from princesses eyes but she made no moment, like always.

The lady, Mary, pulled back and bent down to Sierras level and wiped away princesses tears. "My strong girl, don't cry, you're my strongest girl, right? Don't worry darling, l-look even I'm not crying. I k-know you cry if I cry and see, I'm not crying any more" Mary said and hastily wiped her own tears.

She then looked up at Sierra again smiled, as if trying to control her sobs, and pulled up the bag she had been holding the entire time.

"I brought my baby, her favorite food. The Thai chicken you always tried replicating from me? I got that a-and I also brought cream puffs, Si-Sierra. Everything my strong girl likes is in here. Do you want to eat?" Sierra continued staring at Mary with tears streaming down her face.

"Mary, why don't you come out with me? We can take out the food and come back to feed Sierra again, okay?" Maya said and softly pulled Mary out with her while Mary's gaze remained unmoved from princess.

Once they were both outside the room, I pulled Sierra back In my arms and rubbed her back in circles, trying to soothe her.

After ten minutes or so, I put her on the bed again and smiled, "let me go get your favorite food, and Mary again, okay?"

Sierra remained unresponsive, and I walked out of the room leaving the door wide open to avoid making princess feel suffocated.

"She's okay Mary, she really is, she's unresponsive, yes, but she'll be okay. Alex takes care of her all day long, he makes sure she's absolutely perfect" I heard Maya as I was walking towards the kitchen.

"I-I'm sorry, I just can't see her like t-this. I didn't e-even see Mr. Taylor my eyes, th-they were stuck on my baby. Oh my, that was so rude. I'll apologi-"

Right then I entered the kitchen while Maya and Mary turned around, I looked at Mary and bowed slightly but she ....stilled?

She had tears streaming down her face, from earlier, I assume but they continued flowing. It's like, she was crying all over again.

"Hello, Miss. I'm sorry for having misunderstood your intentions towards princess, after seeing her reaction I can tell she was waiting for you. I apologize, once again, I've seen extremely careful about things related to princess lately"

Mary kept staring at me and slowly walked up to me while I kept my head bowed slightly, showing genuine respect.

My eyes went wide when the old lady pulled me into a tight embrace and continued crying, I looked back at Maya through the embrace who told me to remain calm since she knew I felt uncomfortable being physically affectionate.

Mary pulled back and continued staring at me and crying making me frown, "Miss, are you okay? I know princess is not in her best condition right now but trust m-"

"I trust you, I trust you with my baby. Completely." Mary said through her sobs continued looking at me, her gaze fixed.

"I-I trust you, treasu- Mr. Taylor, if there's anyone I trust it's you, please take care of my baby and you-yourself, as well," Mary said, cutting me off.

This lady, she's weird. She isn't putting my system at alert from danger, she's just...weird. "I-yes Miss. You don't have to worry, I'll take care of both of us?" I said, making it sound more like a question.

"W-where are your parents Mr. Taylor?" I frowned at the question, now feeling slightly attacked. Maya quickly interrupted me, "ahh, me and Xander, our friend, are his only family. You can call me their mother, their older sister, anything. Alex's real father, he passed away when Alex was very young and his mums not in the picture."

I didn't exactly like, how Maya put down my entire family history in front of Mary but Maya knows I'll never question her and she's simply taking advantage of it.

Maya walked up to me and side hugged me, ruffling my hair "it's okay Alex, she's only asking out of instinct, I do that when Ian is with his friends too. Mother's instinct"

I nodded and kept my face straight.

"I-I've made some food, c-can I feed Sierra?" Mary asked and this time around, I frowned, making my confusion clear.

"Excuse me?"

"No, I'm sorry. I mean, can I feed Sierra while you eat what I made as well? It's Sierra's favorite, after all," Mary said, smiling at me softly.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, princess refuses to eat by anyone other than me," I said, making the situation clear.

"T-that's okay, can I sit by you both while you eat? I just want to be close to you both, for some time." Mary said, trying to explain her point.

I nodded, "Ma'am if you want, I'll just arrange a car for you so that you can come in every day if you want."

Mary smiled at me, "I'd love that, thank you, I need to stay back at the Vega mansion for Sara as well. As much as I understand why you hate her, both of these girls are my babies. Sometimes, we forget that the people who are sour and dark about life, have their reasons. Which might seem ethically wrong to me and you but is justified to the person feeling them. I'm saying this because I know you probably hate Sara, but please understand that she never knew about the level of depth things were going wrong at. She's angry with her own life, s-she suffers from severe depression which is hidden from the media and right now, particularly, both my babies need me. I can't choose, no one is right or wrong to me, they are both suffering and I have to make them both, come out of this phase of life."

I looked away, trying to settle my inner feelings, I chuckled internally at the thought of Sara, I really do hate her but who am I to judge, I'm not the purest and best person out there. And when I think about it, all Sierra needs is love right now, Mary will only add to the list, I don't need to concern myself with what goes down with Sara.

"Ma'am, I don't understand what mothers instinct is all about and what mothers love is, and how you want to handle everything is your decision. alone. My only request is, keep the name and the woman, Sara, away from my house. I would appreciate never hearing her name again. Thank you." Marry nodded, giving me small smile, and responded a second later. "I promise, this time, I really do."

I nodded back, and went to the fridge, getting some water, in my mind, I tried thinking about who's perfect.

Is anyone, even perfect?

After a second more, I smiled, internally.

That's princess, for me, she's my perfect.

She's my little fighter, my safe space.

My life.

♥️

Internally I'm listening to mmh (kai) and dimple (do I need to specify¿) on repeat while It's actually just the 40th December 2020 in my mind. (；一_一)

Everyone in the US, please stay safe, there better not be a single scratch on you, Ily all ｡◕‿◕｡

𝓥𝓸𝓽𝓮, 𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓕𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓸𝔀

𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘮- 𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪.𝘩𝘢𝘩𝘢