CHAPTER 39.

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We're on our way to the restaurant. After in Joel rescheduled our reservation, we showered and had...sex...again. He rescheduled again. Now, finally we are on our way to the restaurant. I shifted in my seat. My butt is still throbbing from earlier. I glanced at our hands-on my thigh. His thumb stroked my hand. He changed his black suit to a silver one. I'm wearing a long, silver, sequin, bandage dress with matching shoes and a clutch. I gasped when his phone rang. His phone is in the phone holder on the dashboard. He frowned when he looked at the caller ID. It's someone named, Robert Novak. He stuck his earphones in his ear before answering. "Hello? Why are you only tell me this now— I'm sorry to hear that." He said. "Well, I guess you'll have to find someone to do then won't you!" He said, raising his voice. I squeezed his hand lightly. He glanced at me then turn back to his conversation.

He sighed. "Just call Joelle and explain it to him, I need.....what!—because I'm busy—good." He hanged up. He yanks his earphones for his ear. I grabbed his phone it's an iPhone 7 with a white cover that said Spectrum in black gothic letters. "Let me open it for you." I glanced at him. I gave it to him and he unlocked it with his index finger. I gasped when I saw his wallpaper was of Jovanni and I at Central Park.

"You fucking stalker," I said, punching his arm.

"Hey! I'm driving here!" He said, laughing." And I wasn't stalk—"

"And pigs fly. What am I going to do with you?" I said, shaking my head and went into his pictures. There were a bunch of pictures of me, Jovanni and Jolan, then a ton of him and me. I scrolled up and saw a few of him and his family on a camping trip, mostly the year before last. I chuckled at one of Joey asleep with a fully face of makeup. There was one of Jarrett, holding crying a 6 month old Jovanni with a scared look on his face. I locked the phone with a smile on my face.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked, lightly nudging my arm with his elbow. I glared at him, he smirked.

"Nothing. It's just that you have a crazy but beautiful family." I confessed. "Family goals." My smile fell when I thought of Jacy. Joel must of sense my mood, he glanced at me and took my hand. He brought it up to his lips and kissed it. I smiled then looked out the window to blink away the tears.

-

We pulled up at Marea five minutes later. He opened the door for me, we walked inside. As soon as we stepped inside Eric, the receptionist and Joel's cousin through Adina's twin sister, walked towards us with a big smile. He was in his late thirties, 4 inches taller than me, teal eyes, blonde hair. "I was starting to wonder if you two were ever going to show up." Eric said, smirking at me. I blushed. "Goodnight Miss. Cabrera.....Joel, please follow me." He said, turning on his kneel. Joel placed a hand on the small of my back as we followed Eric.

Joel and I had our own table that we use every time we came here. It was next to a giant glass window overlooking the city. Eric pulled out a chair for me then left. I sat down and so did Joel, smiling at me. "Hungry?" He ask d

"Starving," I replied.

"As expected. I ordered for us while you were getting ready." He stated. I blew a sigh of relief. He chuckled.

"Thank God cause I don't think I could last another minute."

"I know, the last thing I need is you whining in my ear." He teases. My jaw dropped.

"I don't whine." I cornered. He's grinning now. "I don't."

"If you say so, hun." He says, looking at the couple walking pass us. "Joel." He says, mockingly. I rolled my eyes and he chuckles.

Eric returned with a bottle of Petrus. Two waiter followed soon after with our appetizer. As soon as I saw Ricci, my mouth watered. "Enjoy. Your meals will be done shortly." Eric said, pouring wine into our glasses then leaves. I turned to my boyfriend, who was staring thoughtfully at me.

"What?" I asked. He shook his head. His smile grew. "What!" I shout whispered.

"Just admiring, baby." He whispers, licking his lips. "The ball is Sunday and I haven't asked you to be my date yet." He said, sitting back in his seat.

"Is that your big ask?" I teased.

"No," he says, reaching into his jacket and pulled out a small, royal blue box from Kay. Small enough to hold a ring. My heart rate increased. He went on one knee. He opened it revealing a pair of diamond studs. My face froze. Ok....what the fuck, Joel. "Aubrey, you lazy, short woman will you be my date?" He asked. I tried my best to not let my face crack. I could slap you right now for getting my hopes up like that. I forced a smile.

"Yes." I answered. He grinned then kissed me. He sat back down. I tried to put on a happy face. We fed each other the Ricci, which was sea urchins and lardo. We chatted and laughed our heads off. Eric and the waiters returned with our dinner twenty minutes later

"For the gentleman: Faraona and for the lady: Gambero Rosso with Fingerling potatoes. Enjoy." Eric said. He leaned forward close to my ear." If he doesn't marry you, I will." My eyes widened. I glanced at Joel, his eyes were narrowed. If you propose right now, it'll probably be the only proposal I'll get tonight and Joel will probably kick your ass then eat his food like nothing happened.

"Eric this will be the last time I'm going to tell you this: leave my girlfriend, ALONE. Not because you're my cousin means I won't whoop your ass right now." Joel gritted through his teeth.

"Oh I'm shaking," Eric said, rolling his eyes. I just laughed.

"Eric, stop provoking him. I don't want to witness him throwing you out that window."

"Hm. You two are made for each other. I'm out." Eric said then left.

I smiled at Joel. He looked at me. He looked extremely annoyed. "Don't say anything." He growled. I laughed then dig into my food. Ok, grumpy. If you proposed none of this would happen but whatever.

-

After dinner, we went home. When we got out of the elevator, he pulled me into him. He rocked with me in his arms. I giggled. I turned. He grabbed my right hand and interlocked our fingers I laughed as we danced around the narrow the living room. He dipped me then pulled me up, slowly.

He looks at each other before stealing a kiss. I sighed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and I laid my head on his chest. We continued dancing in slow movements. I closed my eyes and relaxed against him. "I love you." I said under my breath.

-

I woke up the next morning, I sighing immediately. I opened my eyes then closed them. Too bright. I yawned. Anyways, tomorrow is the ball and I'm ready to get this party started. My fingers curled against Joel's chest. He yawned. I looked up at him. He was staring down at me with sleepy eyes and a cocky grin. "What are you grinning about?" I asked.

"I'm hard." He said. Wow. I lifted up the sheet and saw that he is in fact, very hard and twitching. He looked like he was about to burst through his boxers. I watched as his not so rock hard abs more contracted and relaxed as he breathed. Now that I'm thinking about it, Joel and I have grained a few pounds since we started living together. The only exercise he's been doing is sexing the crap out of me and I cook in large portions and he often had seconds. If this isn't a healthy relationship I don't know what is.

I frowned. "Why?" I asked, bluntly.

He looked at me, weirdly. "Morning wood, duhhhhhh. How do not have that in your head by now?" He questioned.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry. I don't have a boner detecter."

"Haha." He said. "So....are you going to do something about it or what?" He questioned.

"Nope. I'm tired, do it yourself." I said, yawning. I turned my back to him. He pressed his erection against me, he kissed my shoulder. How are you always this horny? He snaked his hand under my shirt and cupped my breast." I said no." I breathed.

"Babe, please." He whispered into my ear. He rubbed himself against me, whining. Look who's whining now. I sighed and rolled onto my back.

"Fine." I said. His face lighted up. He pulled me onto him, I collapsed onto his shoulder. "I told you I'm tired. I wasn't joking I literally can not hold myself up right now."

He chuckled. He kissed my forehead and stroked my hair. "It's ok, baby. Get you rest." He said. I looked up at him, in shock.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I've been a horny son of a gun for the pass week. I'm sorry about that."

"It's ok." I assumed him, laying my head back on this shoulder.

"No, it's not.....It's been frustrating few month but you've made things feel less frustrating." He confessed.

I lifted my head to look at him. "You know if there's anything wrong....you can talk to me, right?" I said. He nodded.

"I know." He said, smiling weakly. "It's just...I don't want to burden you."

"Joel," I started, "you'll never be a burden to me. I'm here for you. Not your money....you. I want you to be able to tell me anything."

"Anything?" He questioned. I nodded. "Well, there's something....I've been hiding from you." I sat up, quickly. Joel you better not say what I think you're going to say. Please tell me....you didn't cheat on me and knocked her up.

"Joel." I said, fuming. "You cheated on me, didn't you!" I got off of him, I was about to get off the bed but he grabbed me and pulled me into him. You fucking asshole how could you! I've given you so much of myself—I can't believe this! He wrapped his arms around me as I fought to break free ." Let me go!" I hissed.

"Aubrey, Aubrey!" He yells, holding me tight, restricting my movement. "I didn't cheat on you." He said. "I didn't cheat, I promise. I couldn't do that to you. It would be a lie if I said I wasn't tempted.....there were many opportunities but I rejected all of them because none of them could measure up to you." I sat there in his arms, part of me was a relief but a part of me didn't believe him.

"I find that hard to believe." I said. He moved from behind me and knelt in front of me, he looked hurt. I tired my best to not let that face make me melt. I refuse to let that happen.

He took my hands in his. "Honestly speaking, Aubrey.....you're the only woman I've ever....let into my life like this. I fought so hard to have you and I don't plan to let you go." He proclaimed. "Believed me when I say....you're the best thing, besides my children, that has ever happened to me." I swallow a lump in my throat. I looked into his eyes, and I melted. My ice cold facade evaporated just like that.

"If you didn't cheat....what are you hiding?" I forced out.

He licked his lips and looked away. "You have to promise you won't leave me when I'll tell you." He said, with pleading eyes. I looked away and took a deep breath.

"Joel—"

"I'm serious Aubrey." He said, turning my face to look at him. He stared at me with those sad eyes. I didn't want to leave him, I didn't. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I bite my lip and nodded. He let out a sigh of relief. He licked his lips. "It's about—why my relationship with Beth is so rocky.....that would be because I slept with her." He said. That caught me completely by surprise.

"When!" I snapped.

"Um... a month after Jo was born before I met you. I met Beth through dad because she wanted to move out of the apartment she was living in. I helped her find an apartment....long story short, we had sex, I was in the shower when Gean called—Beth answered and once I came out of the shower Beth kicked me out and our relationship was never the best after that but it was definitely improved since you and I started dating, platonically speaking." He confessed. I fucking give up. You got to be fucking kidding me. She never once thought it would be a good idea to tell me that they had sex!

"Does Joelle know?" He nodded.

"Yeah...he was the first person I told." He replied.

"So why didn't Beth tell me?"

"I told her not to." He answered. "I wanted you to hear it for me....sorry, I took so long to tell you. I was afraid that would have changed your feelings for me." I sighed.

"As long as it was only that one time, it wouldn't have changed." I said, dryly.

"It was, it was. I promise it was the only time."

"Is there anything else you want to get off your chest?" I asked.

"Nothing besides my family medical records, no."

"Good." I said. "Wait what?"

-

He smiled down at me. I went on my tiptoes and kissed him. "Have a good day, baby." I told him. He smirks.

"After rolling around the bed an hour ago, I'm pretty sure I'm going to have the best day ever." He stated.

"Is that so," I smirked.

"Oh yeah." He says. He kissed me long and hard. "Hmm. Bye, hun."

"Bye," I said. As soon as Joel turns on his kneel. He pressed the elevator button. The door opened and Gean appeared. Oh what now. They sneered at each other.

"Witch." Joel spat.

"Ogre." She retorted. I covered Joel's mouth before he could say anything else.

Joel narrows his eyes at me. "The kids are not here, Gean, so why are you here?"

"I came to talk to you." Gean replied. Joel and I looked at each other, confused.

"Me?" Joel and I asked in a union.

Gena rolls her eyes. "Aubrey, I'm here to talking to Aubrey." She replied.

"Go ahead." Joel said, folding his arms. Before Gean could open her mouth, his phone rang. He looks at it and curses. "Shit. I gotta go." He said before kissing me. He walked pass Gean into the elevator. "If you touch my girlfriend and throw you off a cliff, Gean." He said, pointing at her.

"I won't! Not yet anyway!" She yelled back before the elevator door closed. I just shook my head. She turned to me, beaming. "I have big news!" Its kind of scaring seeing her like this. Despite that she looked really nice, her hair was cut in a bob and she's wearing a white halter blouse, brown coat, distressed jeans, and ankle boots.

"You're leaving today?" I asked. She shook her head. "Oh, what?"

"E.L.James read your book." She said. My face fell, my heart fell, basically my world fell, "she loves it and wants to work with you!" She said, grinning. I screamed in excitement like a five year old, she screamed with me.

"I can't believe this!" I said. I'm was so overwhelmed with joy. This is bloody amazing!

"This not all. She wants you to come to England next Saturday to start working!" She added. My face fell.

"What?" I questioned. "I-I can't...Joel—"

"Screw Joel. This is your career we're talking about here. I hate to break it to you but I don't think it's worth giving up your dream for him. I did that a look where that got me," she said. I looked at my feet. What we have is different from what the 3 of you had. It isn't that easy. "All I'm saying is think about what you're giving up." She said. I looked at Gean. She was frowning at me.

"I-I don't know what to say." I whispered. I want this, I do but I couldn't ask Joel to go with me...I can't let him leave his kids and I don't want to leave them either.

"Well, I do," she said, holding me at shoulders length, "dump him and take this chance of a lifetime. I mean, this is your chance to get published. You're a good writer Aubrey, don't let a guy ruin this big opportunity."

"Heh. If I didn't know better, I'd say you did this to get rid of me." I said, jokingly.

Gean laughed. "That's a good one. I'll think of that next time."

-

After Gean left,  I debated how I was going tell Joel. I needed to tell him but that tonight he came home he looked so stressed, I couldn't. Its the next day and I still haven't told him. We drove to the Hamptons morning for the ball. I'm in his old room getting ready. I watched the sunset. So beautiful. I sighed. How am I going to make this discussion? How was I going to tell Joel. It turns out E. L James wants me to come tomorrow, it's so crazy and short notice. "Close your eyes, please." My makeup artist for the night said. I did, sighing. "Why such a long face?" He asked. He was tall, dark-skinned, clean shaved head and brown eyes. He wore a black sweater, jeans, and black sandals.

"If you had made a choice between a guy and a job, what would you choose?"

"Hm, it depends. If it's a job is worth losing the guy then I'll take the job and vise versa." He replied.

"Damn," I muttered to myself.

"Babe?" Joel called. I opened my eyes. "You must be Bruno." Joel said. They shook hands briefly. Joel looked at me and mouthed wow.

"In the flesh." Bruno purred. Bruno bent close to my ears. "If that's the guy I'd choose the guy." He whispered. Great, now that's three for Joel and three for the job. I looked away from him.

"Hey, can you give Aubrey and me a moment, please?" Joel asked.

"Sure but no funny business, I made a masterpiece not a hot mess." Bruno said.

"I'll try but no promises," Joel said, cockily. It made me smile.

Bruno sighs. "Well, don't take to long, I guess." He said as he walked to the door. When the door closed then I looked at Joel.

He knelt between my legs. A white robe and the only thing I had on. He looked concerned. "What's wrong?.... I mean you've been distant since I got home yesterday. Did I do something wrong?" He questioned, he licked his lips. He looked sad. My heart burned. "Aubrey....I'm worried. Talk to me." I grabbed his head and pulled him to me, I kissed him hard. I pulled away and he blinked at me.

"Is there someone else?" He asked, his voice cracked but his face turned bright red. I looked down at my fingers. Of course not.

"No, there's no one." I assured him. He lets out a sigh of relief.

"Good, for a second there I thought I was going to have to kill someone." He joked, laughing. I didn't laugh with him. He frowned. "Aubrey," he said, taking my hands in his, "talk to me....I-I promise, I won't get mad."

I took in a deep breath. "E.L. James wants to work with me." I started. A grin grew across his face.

"That's amazing—"

"In England," I added. His grinned slowly disappeared. "I'll most likely be in London for more than a few month. I know, you just got you kids back and I don't want you to have to choose between me and them." He stares at me for a moment.

"If you take it....when will you leave?" He asked, impassively.

"Next Saturday but she called Gean this morning and said Monday."

"This monday? You seem....tomorrow?" he whispered, "take it." He said.

"What?" I questioned, my lips quivering. My heart fell to the ground in a million pieces. Joel not you too. Please don't do this.

"This is a great opportunity for you, and I'm not going to stand in your way. Take it." He said. He stared me directly in my eyes as he said it. He let go of my hands. There was silence between us. My body shiver when a chill ran down my spine. His head dropped to his chest, thinking. He gets up, abruptly when I was about to reach for him. It was like he knew I was going to. He turned his back to me. Joel, my conscience called out to him. My inner goddess was bawling her eyes out and I wasn't far from joining her. "I'm going to get ready. I'll see you there." He said, hoarsely. He walked to the door.

His body was tense as he walked. He opened the door a stood there for about a minute before walking out. "Joel." I whispered after him. My vision began to cloud. My breath grew ridged. I bite my lip, fighting to keep myself from sobbing. Bruno came in.

"Oh girl." He said. I burst into fully blown sobbing. Bruno ran up and hugged

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