Ranae in media.

Ranae

      Looking through the clothes rack in Charlotte Rousse  for some dresses that would look right for the shoes I got I held up a Hacci Knit Sweater dress that was red which is my favorite color and really cute.

"uh don't even think about it. that is showing to much skin and you know how your dad is about that" My mother said looking up at me and back at the shirt she was holding.

Rolling my eyes and sighing I pretended to hang it back up and look for something else. Soon as she walked away to look at some expensive purses in another store in this mall, I grabbed the dress back and hid it under the rest of the clothes I was going to get for school.

My dad is very overprotective of me and my other siblings. My dad also use to be a really big kingpin here in Chicago and other places so that explains his reasons I guess. Before he stopped it was just my mother and him and I guess they thought they were like bonnie and Clyde, hell more than bonnie and Clyde.

But  when my dad found out she was pregnant with my big brother they settle down and called it quits. So that's where the money came from. We don't know the full story of their lives before us, they keep that private. But now my dad owns clubs here, Atlanta and New York. While my mother is a fashion designer, a popular one.

But anyways my dad doesn't like any of his daughters showing to much skin. My little sister and me are his little princesses and don't want us to be taken advantage of  by any of these lil niggas he would say. I can understand cause my little sister is only 13 but I'm finna be 18 soon I should be able to wear what I like. There is only four of us. My big brother 3 years older than me. I'm the second oldest then there's my lister and little brother.

"Are you ready? look at this beautiful purse baby, isn't it gorgeous?" my mom said came back holding it up smiling looking at it.

"A very expensive purse" I mumbled getting ready to walking to the register to pay.

she looked at me and furrowed her eyebrows holding the purse back down.

"Excuse me, Miss tomboy its not even that expensive." she said looking at it again. "just a couple hundred, no biggie" she said chuckling walking to the register.

Following behind her I shook my head at how she says a couple hundreds when it cost a little over a thousand for that purse . And FYI not a tomboy just don't like certain girly things.

"Really mom? you know how dad is about spending too much money on unnecessary things" I said mocking her voice from earlier while putting the stuff on the counter. "And don't you have like a million others already?" I asked.

pulling out my wallet from my bag I waited for the clerk to ring my stuff and tell me the price.

"will that be all?" the clerk said putting my things in the bag.

she was a pretty girl, looks about, my age or a little older. she was a brown sugar complexion with really curly natural hair and brown eyes.

I nodded my head pulling out a couple of hundred dollar bills. I put my wallet back in my bag. this isn't my first time shopping here so I know the prices well.

"okay your total is $210.35" the girl said.

I handed her the three hundred I took out and grabbed my bag off the counter, thanking her before walking away with my mom behind me to head out the store.

"Ranae, you didn't get your change. what are you doing?" my mom asked behind me.

"I know" was all I said before  putting my headphones in my ear. But before I knew it one ear bud was yanked out my right ear. My head flew to the right so hard with so much annoyance I'm fore sure it was gonna break cause I hate when people take my headphones out my ear.

"that girl is trying to talk to you. you need to take them things out your ear when you with people" my mom said walking ahead of me answering her phone.

I turned around and it was the clerk from Charlotte Rousse.

"Sorry to run you down like this but you forgot your change" she said while chuckling.

"oh I know. Sorry I forgot to say keep the change" I said smiling.

"huh? you gave me 300. that's a lot of change left, you cant"

"no please keep it, there's enough to go around and plus its one of my favorite stores" I said shrugging.

"mines too! but thank you. I gotta get back before they fire me" she said smiling before walking away.

I put my head phones back in my ear, pushing play on SZA - the weekend and heading for the doors when I was bumped hard making my phone and bag fall to the floor.

"Are you serious right now" I said bending down picking my stuff up. so worried about my phone being cracked cause I just got it a week ago, I looked up to a tall guy looking down at me. I couldn't see his face clearly. I waited for him to say something but then he begin to walk off.

"Could've  said excuse me rudeness" I said finally getting up looking at his back. he had on a black hoody With dark jeans and tombs. my body froze as he stopped dead in his tracks but he didn't turn around. I was ready for whatever he had to say even though I was scared shittless.

"Ranae what is taking you so long girl c'mon your daddy is being impatient right now" my mom came back in making me look at her.

I turned back around to look at the guy I was trying to confront but he was gone. no where in sight. I rolled my eyes leaving the mall getting in the car and my mom pulled out and drove off to the house.

*****

Ranae's house

We arrive home thirty minutes later. I took my headphones out my ear, unbuckling my seatbelt getting ready to get out to grab my bag when my mom stopped me.

"Who was that boy you was talking to back there?" She look at me smirking. "Your boyfriend?" "What's his name?" She asked excited.

"First of all mama, no, I don't know and I don't know him. And I'm too ugly and overweight for anyone. He almost knocked me over that's why I was talking to him." I said sitting back looking out the window at our house.

I don't even know why she would asked me that. I've never had a boyfriend. Guys don't even look my way let alone talk to me. And if they do it's to insult me about my weight or how I look. And don't even get me started on the girls.

"Nae stop it! You are a gorgeous, beautiful, intelligent and smart young girl. And your my daughter. How can you say that about yourself?" I can feel her looking at the side of my face but I didn't budge.

"Look at me honey" she said as she grabbed my face and turned me to her.

I looked at my mother's gorgeous face and wondered why I couldn't look like her. Why did I have to be this way. Why couldn't I be normal. She was a caramel honey complexion with light brown eyes to die for.

"Don't you ever say that about yourself. You are something special and one day the right guy will come along and realize that. Be confident love yourself baby. I didn't make ugly kids na so you can get that out you little head now" she said smiling at me.

"Now since you starting school tomorrow and this your senior year, I expect you to have them girls jealous and they boyfriends at your feet, right?" She said.

I let everything my mother said sink in. I wanted to believe that I'm all those things she said I am. But I know I'm not and probably never will be. This isn't my first time at this school been here since sophomore year I already know how all the kids are towards me. So her saying the last part is definitely not happening. I stay to myself anyway but still get bullied. I don't understand.

I miss my friends back at my old school. They never judged me and loved me the way I was. I was devastated when I was told we was moving I cried the whole ride to the new house. It was seven of us but the only one kind of kept contact with me and that was Nicole. I miss her. She said she barely talked to them also. Guess high school really keeps you busy.

"Right mama" I smiled. Even though she was wrong.

We got out the car and we grabbed my bags from the back seat and headed for the front door of our home. She unlocked the door and we walked in to my daddy and uncle Ryan talking and laughing in the kitchen.

My mom placed her bags by the door and walked in the kitchen with me on her tail. I stopped by the stairs.

"Hey Ryan, I didn't know you was stopping by" she said giving him a hug.

"Yeah wanted to see my nieces and nephews before I head back to New York and finish business y'know"

Him and my dad use to be in the drug business together. But when my dad left of course he understood but that didn't mean he had to quit. But he did slow down though and gave the thrown to someone else in New York while still making his money.

"Well damn, fuck you too nigga" my dad said to his brother laughing.

"We seen each other enough witcha stale ass." Uncle Ryan said standing up laughing. He noticed me by the staircase and smiled.

"Now I know you not just gone give me a hug phat phat" he said with his big buff arms wide open walking towards me giving me a hug.

"No uncle Ryan" I said Hugging him back I can barely breathe and he realized that and let me go.

"I know you start school tomorrow and if any of them niggas mess with you call me. I'll come running" he said being funny but also serious.

Knowing him I know he was serious and wouldn't mind hurting some boys and who ever else they was with.

"Will do" even though I won't cause that would make the problems worse.

"I already told her brotha" my dad said sipping his beer. " I'll murder that whole damn school" he said with my uncle Ryan walking back to his beer at the table.

"Oh hush Rod, them kids not gonna bother my baby. We already talked." My mother said winking at me.

"I know they not gonna mess with her cause I'll be there whooping they ass with a belt" my dad said cause them to laugh.

Slowing backing away from this awkward moment up the stairs, I hurried into my room and shut the door.

I went back into my walk in closet and put my bag in there walking back out. I sat on bed just thinking about school tomorrow. I dreaded this day. I hated people and seeing them. So loud and ignorant. Bad enough I have to spend 7 hours with them five days a week just listening about the stupid things they do and what there gonna do for a whole year!

Just thinking another whole year with them for the last time made me happy but made my skin crawl. But I was happy this my last year and plus I'll be turning eighteen soon and then there's college. Knocking me out my thoughts there was a knock at my door. And in walks my little sister Caitlyn.

Caitlyn is a twin to my little brother Rodney Jr. and unlike most twins their always fighting. They wasn't big like I was at their age so they was lucky. They spoiled rotten by my mother.

"Hey sissy, can I use your lotion, the bath & bodywork one, the one that smells like heaven?" She asked.

"Didn't mama buy you a whole set of lotion? Why would I let you use mines Caitlyn?" I said still sitting with an eyebrow raised looking at her.

"Cause it smells like heaven. And I wanna smell like heaven. Duh. Plus I don't like those." she said with her hand out like the girl from the meme.

"Well to bad for you so you can close my door now" I said walking to my dresser picking me out something to wear for bed.

"Oh pleaseeee sissy, I won't use a lot or break it." She said with pleading eyes.

I looked at her giving me the puppy dog eyes she use on dad to get what she wants but sorry it doesn't work for me. But I will make a deal with her just cause I'm that nice.

"Alright fine, but you gonna be doing my chores for the whole month. I'll even let you have it if we have a deal." I said looking at her.

She stood with her arms folded it thinking about it.

" okay, give me two bottles and you have a deal" she said cheesing.

Can't believe her right now bribed me right back. "Fine pick two and be gone"

She grabbed them and ran out leaving the door ajar. So annoying. I walked to the door and closed it locking it. I decided on a white tank top and pink shorts to sleep in.

I went in the bathroom and turned the shower on letting it get hot. I put my hair up in a messy bun on my head and undressed hopping right in letting the hot water relax me.

It felt so good I didn't want to get out. My mind drifted to tomorrow. School. I instantly rolled my eyes. But then my mind drifted to the guy from the mall who ran me over and didn't even apologize. Getting over it I got out.

Walking past my mirror I walked back looking at myself. My hips were wide as ever. My arms was flabby my stomach had stretch marks. My thighs where huge. I felt so disgusting and felt bad all over again I covered back up.

I brushed my teeth and made sure my hair was wrapped up. I got dressed and put my phone on the charger. Checking the time it was now 8:45pm but it didn't even feel like it or looked like it outside.

Hopping in bed I wrapped myself under the covers feeling comfortable. I decided to text Nicole since she the only one that answers, and to see how's she's doing.

Hey, wyd? 8:55pm

NiNi💜🖤: hey girl hey. And getting ready for bed. Hbu? I miss you 😔 8:59pm

Nothing Omw to sleep. And I miss you too all of us.😔 9:00pm

NiNi💜🖤: same, but we will all see each other soon. Promise. But gn. Mom tripping🙄😘. 9:05

Hopefully. And gn😘. 9:09pm

Putting my phone back on the charger. I turned my lamp off and try to go to sleep. Just thinking and hoping this school year go better and smoothly unlike last year. And hoping I'll actually see my childhood best friends again.

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