Chapter 42

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(Song- No Rest for the Wicked by Lykke Li)

   "Well," Alpha Kenn struggles. "What an offer, but I will have to refuse because Isabella is to be my Luna."

   My eyes cannot leave Eric's. There is something in them. A promise? Safety? Security? Love? Maybe all of them, but definitely love. Suddenly, I am no longer fearful, but determined.

   He would give away everything for me, and that means everything. He can give me everything, but it means so much more to give up everything. To have nothing, but me. My cheeks flush with color, with life.

   "You can't have me," I mutter and glance up at him. "Sorry."

   Some men find this amusing, but Alpha Kenn sneers. "Inject him, then bring him out."

   Alpha Kenn drags me out of the cellar and under the gloomy sky. Worry comes over me. Inject him with what?

   "Wolfsbane," he snickers as if he read my mind. "Deadly, yet just enough will weaken to the point of uselessness."

   Wolfsbane, I have not heard of that technique in years. Back at my old pack, it was used as a peaceful death, as in vast quantities the body will simply drop, yet if not given enough it will slowly eat away, a painful and restless death. Slow, endless. I have never heard of small enough quantities to weaken, until now.

   That must be what got him in the cell. How did they manage a clean injection in the first place?

   "I told him you had died," Alpha Kenn answers me again, which causes me to believe I am talking out loud. "Obviously, he didn't feel your death, but it distracted him long enough. A man in love is a weak man, Isabella. The Mate bond makes us weak. That is why I refused my mate, and chose you instead, but I am sure you could have figured that out on your own."

   My heart drops at the sight of my mate struggling to stand. My finger tips turn numb, tingly.

   I make a move to rush to him, but Alpha Kenn holds me back.

   "Isabella!"

   Swiftly, I turn, my eyes in a focused search, then I see her. Kendra. Kendra stuck in the grasp of a stranger, a dangerous man. Again, Alpha Kenn has to hold me back.

   The stranger roughly brings her over, and I see distress cast on her beautiful face. Tears are welling in her eyes, reaching the edge.

   "Why! Why her? What did she do?" I act frantically and glare up at Alpha Kenn. "She's a child!"

   He refuses to explain, which fills me with fury.

   "She's a child! She has nothing to do with this!"

   Kendra's sobs strike me and my legs twitch, almost bringing me to the forest floor.

   "Isabella," she cries, confused, scared. Her arms reach out to me, but the man does not let go.

   "Why is she here?" I grab Alpha Kenn's collar and nearly cause an uprise. He yanks my hand off of him and raises his own to me, yet he somehow Eric's sudden growling and my fearlessness stops him. He clenches his jaw and lowers his arm.

   "Try anything else, and she's dead. Understand?"

   My lips shut.

   Alpha Kenn enjoys my reaction. "You know what, let's make this interesting. Since you are choosing to be a pain, maybe you can choose something else. Someone has to die. You choose who dies, right now, right here. The options are him," he points to a random man, who is surprised, confused, angry, and many other sudden emotions. For the finger has pointed mercilessly at him, "Him, or that man," Alpha Kenn finishes, and the other men have similar reactions.

   I do not take him seriously until his next sentence.

  "Choose now or I... Or I kill all three of them."

   My eyes shoot to Eric, and he too looks confused, maybe even disturbed.

   "They are your men?" I question.

   Alpha Kenn nods. "For now they are."

   I thought Alpha Kenn to be power hungry, but now I see him as he truly is, psychotic. Kill one man, or all three die. A good person would pick one, no? Save two instead of none. A good Luna would let all three die.

   My eyes stay with Eric's, hoping for an answer, but he is drugged, swaying in and out of consciousness as he is held up by other men.

   "What will it be, Isabella?"

   "My sister, I don't want her to see this, please."

   Alpha Kenn raises an eyebrow. "She'll turn around."

   I swallow. "All... All three can die."

   Alpha Kenn did not expect a quick decision; I can see that clearly. He also seems excited by it as well. His men look to him, needing leadership, not believing the control he has given me. "You heard her," Alpha Kenn says, easily.

   I squeeze my eyes shut.

   One.

   Two.

   Three.

   Maybe it makes me a bad person. Maybe it makes me a bad Luna. Maybe it makes me a good one? It is easy to believe that they would have died anyways when Eric and I take back control. It is even easier to believe that they would have lived, that I have played God, and that I should not have. If I did not answer, he would have killed all of them, if I chose just one, that would leave more danger for my pack.

   Once it is over, I refuse to look at the ground, where they lay lifelessly.

   Alpha Kenn claps his hands three times. "Alright, round two, yes?"

   Now I jerk away. "No. No more."

   "Now, choose between..." he pauses then lights up, "Eric, your mate, Kendra, your sister, or yourself."

   My breath hitches in my throat. My lungs squeeze.

   Maybe it is Alpha Kenn playing God, not me.

  Eric grows restless, fighting the Wolfsbane with all he has. "Isabella," he breathes out, trying to speak clearly, "don't do what I think you're going to do."

   Alpha Kenn smiles. "Oh, and of course, if you don't choose, you all die."

   "I thought I was your Luna? Now you want me dead?"

   He shrugs. "Well, there is no Mate bond is there? I'm sure another will do just fine. I'm sure Caroline, yes, Caroline will be a lovely Luna. She has the Alpha blood."

Die in place of someone you love? That is the correct option, right? I have heard it enough to know that it should be. Eric knows that is what I am thinking of, as he is shouting at me, "no one has to die. Listen, Isabella! No one has to die! Let's talk about this—let's talk."

Maybe I am hoping for a diversion, for someone to come in last minute and save the day. Quickly, Heath will come in, attack the Alpha, distracting his men, giving Eric enough time to attack his restraints. Or Caroline and Lucas will come thrashing through the trees, planning the same. Or maybe all three of them will team up, either way, it would happen just before my decision. I will not have to choose myself then, like I am about to do. Before the word, myself, leaves my lips, it will all happen. Maybe if I wait long enough.

I have always feared death, but I have always believed that everyone has, everyone that is not ready to die. Thinking of my elderly self drifting off scares me like nothing else, the only thing relaxing me is the thought: I will be ready by then.

Many people die before they are ready. Maybe I am just one of them.

My eyes wave from East to West then North to south, again, hoping for the diversion. Next, to Eric, he is pleading with me, then to Kendra, she is crying.

I thought Eric and I would have children. One or two. Hopefully a boy and girl, one of each. The thought makes me happy. Changing diapers, rocking to sleep, feeding only for them to spit it out, the giggles, the cries, it all sounds lovely, only with him. It makes me sad to think I will never have that. The least I could do was leave an heir, but I suppose Caroline could do that.

I hate this, thinking everything over as if I am going to die. The first three died in under a minute; it was easy for the killer.

The Wolfsbane.

"Can it be peaceful?" I ask softly, knowing it will upset Eric.

Alpha Kenn raises an eyebrow. "What did you have in mind?"

"Wolfsbane. Enough will make it quick, painless."

"Isabella!" Eric shouts. "Don't you do this, don't do this, Isabella, please. Listen to me. No one has to die. Let's talk about this."

I swallow. "Do I get," I begin to struggle, "goodbyes?"

Alpha Kenn shrugs. "Whatever you can say here and now."

Eric begins to panic, greatly.

As Kendra nearly screams in the background, I near her first. She clings onto me, a dying fish to water. She can hardly breathe, as the cries are all that is leaving her. I wish she were a bit younger, too young to understand.

"Kendra," I say sharply, "you listen to me—"

"We are not doing this, Isabella!" Eric yells. "What do you want?" He turns to Alpha Kenn, begging for strength. "What is it, what do you want? I'll give you everything, the pack, everything, just stop this, now," his voice is demanding, hard, scared.

I don't want him to be scared, that's my job.

"Kendra, I love you, alright? You're going to live with mom for as long as you have to, then, as soon as you find your mate, or make a good friend, someone you can trust, you get out of there." She shakes her head rapidly, refusing the outcome. "Listen! I won't see you anymore, listen to what I'm saying." My grip on her tightens as I fight not to fall apart. "You take care of yourself, whatever it takes. Eric will give you money, and if you want, stay here. Scratch mom, she's poison, she'll make you sad like she is. Stay here, with Eric okay? With Marina and Caroline, they'll take care... Care... Stay with them!"

I have never thought of saying goodbye like this before, and I am not doing a good job. I do not know how much time I have left, but Alpha Kenn warns me.

I squeeze her too tightly in a hug and kiss her on the forehead.

Damn diversion.

The man holds her back as I stand up and turn to my mate. He looks angry, at me, of course. With every step I take, the harder it is for Eric to stay together.

"What a game," I mutter and Eric begins to crumble, angry tears well in his eyes and he stands up, gripping onto my shoulders.

"What are you doing, Isabella?" He asks. "What are you doing? No one is going to die. No one is going to die. You're not going to die! Okay? Okay?"

"Alright," I murmur. "It's looking pretty bad right now, though," my voice cracks, "I mean, no one is coming. What if they gave you too much?"

"You're worried about me?"

"Well, you could be slowly dying," I say while the first tear falls. "It really feels like I'm going to die right now, Eric. I have a feeling. I don't really want to die, it scares me, but I think this is what I-I'm supposed to do. You know, die in place of who you l-love. People die all the time randomly, so what if I'm just one of—"

"Times wasting!" Alpha Kenn calls.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye," I begin, though I have no idea how to tell the love of my life goodbye. "You'll be okay; you'll move on eventually. The only thing helping me right now is thinking that you'll be okay without me. I love you, this much, just know that, please. We'll be together again someday, but don't rush it. You take care of the pack; they need you. You're their Alpha, lead them. Take care of Kendra, please—"

Eric shakes his head. "I'm not letting you do this. I'm going to end this," his voice is growing weak, and the Wolfsbane is becoming too much for him to conquer.

"I love you too."

"No, no, you're not," Eric struggles as he falls to his knees.

"Times up!" Alpha Kenn calls. "I've waited long enough. This was a game you know."

There's a rustle as the brush sways around us as if the world is waving goodbye to me.

Suddenly, one of his men pulls out a gun from his waistband, the same one that killed the three men before me.

Eric shouts things I cannot fully register.

"I asked for Wolfsbane!" I yell at Alpha Kenn. "Not a gun!"

Alpha Kenn shrugs.

Then the shot is fired.

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