CHAPTER 13

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As Bezmialem collapsed, Iskender quickly went to her chambers leaving everyone behind. Meleki quickly ran to find the nurse for Bezmialem, because she knew Iskender couldn't be able to allow anything bad to happen to her.

He ran to her chambers and took her from the terrace in his arms and placed her on her bed, where she was laying unconsciously. Nurse ran as quickly as she could because everyone in this palace knew they would be punished if something bad would happen to Sultan's beloved consort and they couldn't be able to save her.

"What happened to her? Is she fine?" Iskender asked nervously as nurse was checking on Bezmialem and he couldn't wait for any more before he knows what happened to her.

"Nothing with her healthy, but I checked on Hatun before, she was mentally not fine. Sadness is doing so much on her and she is here on all her alone. This doesn't affect her baby in a good way and it shouldn't continue like this," nurse said to Iskender who ignored everyone and went to sit on the bed next to her.

He placed his hand on her cheeks and kissed her forehead and then touched her hair. He looked at the face of his beloved one and he knew his ignorance was the reason she fainted and why she wasn't feeling well.

"She should only rest, we will give her some medicine later, but I do not know how would her state of mind affect the baby," nurse said making Iskender feeling even worse because he didn't want his baby to suffer because of his anger towards Bezmialem. He knew he must finish this punishment he was giving for her as sooner as possible.

"When she wakes up, come and get me because I want to be with her when she gains her conscience," Iskender said as he left his chambers. Meleki left the chambers as she knew her night was destroyed and she finally realised she would never be able to be with Iskender anymore because he really loved Bezmialem.

After hearing them leaving the chambers I got up finally standing at my legs after pretending not to be well for the last 30 minutes.

"You did well, you can have whatever you want," I said as I took a bag of gold coins and gave them to the nurse I ordered to lie for me. If Iskender would spend time with another women, then I would use things that are in front of me to make him feel worse thinking he is the reason of my pain. He actually was, but when someone like nurse said it to him it probably more came into his mind and he should realise that even though I love him I wouldn't be able to accept another woman in his bed.

"Bezmialem Hatun, I am afraid if Sultan finds out I lied, he would kill me," nurse said as she was afraid when she saved her gold. She knew she could lose this position very quickly and this job was only thing she had.

"You won't, he will never find out about this," I said as I dismissed her, and came to sit on my bed as I heard someone's footsteps walking to my chambers and I knew he or Safiye could arrive in any moment and I didn't need anyone to caught me in the lies.

"Bezmialem," he said as I just sat on my bed not even standing up to bow to him as I acted I did not feel well. I placed sad reaction on my face and pretended to be really weak in this moment.

"Do you feel better at least now?" He asked me as he thought that I took some medicine. I just nodded with my head and didn't want to say anything, and then he walked closer and sat next to me on my bed.

"I hurt you a lot, I know," he said taking my hand into his hand. Yes, he did hurt me but not by closing me here but cheating on me with Meleki while I was here pregnant all alone on myself.

"You did," I said still not looking at him. No matter how much I didn't want to act, this time I had to play on his weakness and it was important.

"I've been thinking about it for a long, and I can't spend my life without you. I can't stand being separated from you and when you aren't next to me then there is no sense in my life," he said as he placed his hand on my chin and raised it up forcing our eyes to meet.

"If you love me so much then why did you sleep with her? Why did you cheat on me?" I asked him as his eyes widened at my question and he seemed to be surprised when he heard it.

"Slept with who? I haven't slept with anyone beside you, Bezmialem. What are you talking about?" He asked me as he was really surprised on my words like he heard them for the first time, but I didn't know what to think in this moment. Jealousy was all over me and I couldn't stand him even looking at another woman, not touching her.

"Meleki, she was last night at the havlet in your chambers, and then you on purpose moved me to those chambers so I could see from the terrace the two of you together?" I asked him as I placed my hand back on my leg moving it away from him. In my head there were mixed emotions of jealousy and anger, but also of hurt.

"What havlet are you speaking of Bezmialem? I just talked with her as I needed someone to listen to me because I needed to confess someone how much I miss you and I can't without you," he said as he looked at me the weird way and at this moment I knew I screw up again.

"But-" I wanted to say what I heard from the maids, but he just got up.

"You think I would cheat on you?" He asked me suspiciously. His emotions were also mixed and it was so hard for me at this moment to be stable.

"I do not know but as woman who loves you I always have the fear since I am only your slave like all other girls in the harem, and you are sultan of the whole world who can have whoever he wishes for," I said as a tear went down my eyes on purpose for him not to being angry on me once again. I needed to do this because I screw up with my words and I couldn't handle any more time without him.

I stood up and walked towards him taking his hands into mine, while looking at his eyes directly without stopping even for a second.

"I can't live without you Iskender and those weeks have been the hardest in my life. It would be easier if you have killed me than ignored me because I do not want to live in a life where I do not have you," I expressed my true emotions and instead of saying anything, he grabbed me and took into the passionate kiss.

"I want to spend this day with you and I won't let you go. If you feel better I would like to take you outside for a little because you have been punished for too long without making anything wrong," Iskender said and in his words I knew he really regret because he has done this to me and I was glad he realised he can't spend any more time without me, because I couldn't handle this time without him.

"If it's for you, I'm always good and ready for anything," I said as I took my scarf and placed it on my head. He took my coat and helped me to wear it and only at this time I realised how much I love this man and how much have I missed him.

I was ready and Iskender showed me his hand in which I placed mine. We held our hands as we left my chambers. We were walking towards the harem where Bulbul Agha announced him and even if I wanted to let his hand go as he should have went first, he didn't allow me to.

"Love of my life won't walk behind me, but next to me," he said as he gave me a smile and we continued to walk through the harem where all the girls and aghas had to bow to Iskender and all of them glared as they were surprised my punishment was done. Bulbul couldn't believe how Iskender walked like this outside with me and he was ready to run and tell those news immediately to Safiye.

We walked to the special part of Imperial Gardens which I have never seen before. We came there from the secret hallway that was in Harem and I was really surprised to find out about this because I have never seen this. It was like giant balcony over the Bosporus with so many flowers that it wasn't able not to feel happy next to the scent of lilies.

"I didn't know this place even existed in harem," I said as I was amazed by this place as it was really mysterious. I've been here for months and I had no idea about all those passages that held so many secrets.

"My father Sultan Murad Khan gave to build those so my mother Safiye Sultan could enjoy this place. It reminded her of her homeland, and he did everything to make her happy," Iskender said and I knew he doesn't even remember his father since he was sent many years ago when he was so little, but in him there was always a memory of him and he talked of him with so much respect.

"He must loved your mother really much to do those things to her," I said as I turned to look at him for the first time happily after so many time that had separated us and I finally felt free and not anxious because he knew everything.

"The same way I love you, and I would do whatever you wish for, even if you want the whole world," Iskender said and I giggled at his words. He made me happy like no one else in my life.

"Only thing I wish for is your love and your presence next to me while we are waiting for our little one," I said.

I placed his hand on my belly which was already growing and I knew in few months our little one would be here. I couldn't wait for the day I finally give birth to a child of mine and Iskender.

"I can't wait to meet little Sehzade or Sultana, to resemble their beautiful and intelligent mother," Iskender said as his eyes couldn't move from mines and I wanted to stay in this moment of happiness forever.

"I promise you Iskender that I will always in the future tell you about everything. I regret for everything I've did," I said as I had to tell him what I felt.

"My Bezmialem, only thing I need is you here next to me and that is enough for me. We are over that now and there is no Dilruba and Davut anymore for threatening you," Iskender said and I was surprised, I didn't know anything that was happening outside of the Palace.

"How do you mean?" I asked him confused.

"I gave order to kill them. I didn't care if she is Ottoman Sultana she wanted to kill me and threatened you to kill you and our unborn child and whoever dares to even think of doing anything bad to my family will pay with their lives. Even if those ones are members of Imperial Family," he said as he kissed my forehead and at that moment we heard someone's footsteps.

"Iskender," Humasah Sultana came as she gave hug to her brother.

"Sultanim," I bowed to her and I saw already she looked at me the bad way.

"I didn't know the things between two of you got better now," Humasah said seriously and I knew she disliked me since what happened. She was so protective of Iskender and she didn't believe me anymore and I understood why.

"Humasah, those things we won't discuss here," Iskender said after he saw how I felt at this moment because she really looked at me the bad way, even though she was always so kind to me before.

"I am just asking, because I thought woman I have sent to you has spent night with you, but obviously you refused her," Humasah said and at that moment I knew she was the one who sent Meleki and I didn't know why she would send her to Iskender when she knew what was the situation like them.

"I will excuse you if you allow me," I said as I bowed to Iskender and I couldn't listen to those things from Humasah anymore. Iskender nodded at me and then I walked away and stood behind the door since I wanted to know what is happening.

"You shouldn't forget her this. She will do next mistake even bigger and then you will regret," Humasah hissed at Iskender as soon as she saw I left. I could see them from a little hole on the wall but I made sure they couldn't see me because I didn't want Iskender to get angry on me ever again.

"Humasah, this topic is closed. I love her and she did nothing wrong nor she tried to do something to me. I want her to be close to me and I do not want any other woman so don't even send them to me," Iskender said to her.

"I am just being protective since I am your sister and I don't want you to be hurt. You shouldn't have emotions only for her because you need to have at least one concubine more," Humasah said to him and it was pretty clear she would never like me again and would always force him on another women.

"Well I am having emotions only for her and I do not want other woman, Humasah. You are my sister but that doesn't allow you to interfere within my personal life and my harem," Iskender said seriously to her.

"Mother is also defending her same as you do, and she does that only not to hurt your emotions," Humasah said and them stopped for a second as she didn't want to overreact.

"Why don't you like her?" Iskender asked her and I felt so weird listening this conversation I knew I shouldn't.

"I have nothing against her but I am worried that when you give her all the attention she would start being like Kosem when late Sultan Ahmed allowed her to do that. Don't let her grow that powerful because that makes you in trouble," Humasah said.

"That is not the real reason, Humasah," Iskender said as he wanted to calm his sister down. She just sighed.

"I am afraid she will hurt you if you love her so much. Only thing I don't want is to see you sad because of a woman," Humasah said and then I decided I should better leave before they see I was there still standing.







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