𝐑̶𝐔̶𝐋̶𝐄̶ 𝟐̶𝟐̶:̶ 𝐃̶𝐎̶ 𝐍̶𝐎̶𝐓̶ 𝐆̶𝐑̶𝐈̶𝐄̶𝐕̶𝐄̶ 𝐅̶𝐎̶𝐑̶ 𝐓̶𝐇̶𝐎̶𝐒̶𝐄̶ 𝐖̶𝐇̶𝐎̶ 𝐒̶𝐓̶𝐑̶𝐀̶𝐘̶𝐄̶𝐃̶ 𝐀̶𝐖̶𝐀̶𝐘̶. 𝐈̶𝐓̶ 𝐈̶𝐒̶ 𝐀̶ 𝐒̶𝐈̶𝐆̶𝐍̶ 𝐎̶𝐅̶ 𝐖̶𝐄̶𝐀̶𝐊̶𝐍̶𝐄̶𝐒̶𝐒̶, 𝐀̶𝐍̶𝐃̶ 𝐖̶𝐇̶𝐄̶𝐍̶ 𝐓̶𝐇̶𝐄̶𝐑̶𝐄̶ 𝐈̶𝐒̶ 𝐖̶𝐄̶𝐀̶𝐊̶𝐍̶𝐄̶𝐒̶𝐒̶, 𝐓̶𝐇̶𝐄̶𝐑̶𝐄̶ 𝐈̶𝐒̶ 𝐑̶𝐎̶𝐎̶𝐌̶ 𝐅̶𝐎̶𝐑̶ 𝐃̶𝐎̶𝐔̶𝐁̶𝐓̶ 𝐓̶𝐎̶ 𝐆̶𝐑̶𝐎̶𝐖̶. 

✷ C H A P T E R      F O U R T Y - S E V E N ✷

Three days. It had been three days since Pa passed away — three days since he was murdered. The days came and went, and as usual, the world kept on spinning as if it had not just been turned on its axis. The sun rose and set, yet I remained unmoving, lying in bed with each passing hour. Theo brought me back to his house to recuperate, but my mind was not my own. I was my own prisoner, locked in a state of empty thoughts. For most of the time, my mind drew up blank: I would lay, stare, and blink, mind empty. Sometimes, I could muster up a nod to acknowledge I was still there. Other times, it was too much to even have my eyes open.

Each night, despite my lackluster response, Theo would come home from work – usually in the wee hours of the night – and debrief me on the day's events. He was always cautious with his wording like I was too fragile to take reality, and maybe I was.

Theo had his hands full with the collapse of the Borderlands. The Border had fallen, and the people inside were now his responsibility. The surviving Borderlanders were all refugees, having no real place to call home; the Borderlands was no more. Theo allowed them to stay in their homes for the time being. However, it would not be permanent. The Borderlands would need to be updated after eighty years of isolation, and every Borderlander would need to be assimilated into modern culture — even if they were not too keen on the idea.

In fact, many Borderlanders fled in the aftermath of the fight. Not knowing the potential physical effects the Outside world could bring, many Borderlands did not make it very far before some sort of illness — be it a cold or the flu — set it. Acting quickly, Theo sent out a couple of search parties, but the message was clear: even though the Border fell, it did not mean most Borderlanders would embrace this stark reality. Instead, many chose to live out their last days fighting the illness head-on.

It was the way of my people. They'd rather die than live a life on the Outside. We were all as good as dead.

For the small number of Borderlanders who still lingered around, Flynn and Heath were in charge of working with them while Theo questioned and detained the Council. Theo and his pack were still looking for Si; it was like he left without a trace. Bile rose up my throat at the mention of Si; I imagined my eyes would enlarge, terror, rippling through me.

Si had been my friend – or so I thought. We shared our first kiss. We grew up alongside one another. Yet, he acted as if none of that mattered, as if my Pa's life did not matter. I did not know what I wanted to become of Si, but, no matter what, I wanted him to pay for the pain he caused. He owed us – all of us – that much.

Going through the motions, I slipped on a black dress Mina brought me. The zipper struggled to pull up, my hands shaking from the effort. Standing up straight proved to cause all the blood to rush to my head. Closing my eyes, I waited for the lightheadedness to wear off. Once it did, I contorted my body to try and get a better angle of the zipper, but, no matter how hard I maneuvered, I was not able to accomplish the small feat. I sighed loudly in defeat, ready to crawl back under the covers.

"Let me," Theo walked up from behind, zipping the dress as I pushed my hair out of the way.

"Thanks," I whispered, soothing the silk fabric of my dress. Theo took hold of my hand, giving me a gentle squeeze. My fingers twitched, unable to reciprocate back.

While I could not conjure many words these past three days, Theo did not seem to mind, standing by my side throughout my sorrow. Just his presence would cause my body to perk up enough to make sure I ate enough to quench my growling stomach.

"I have something for you," Theo pulled out a thin box from his suit pocket.

The box was covered in velvet, my fingers running over the plush material. Taking a deep breath in, I opened the box and immediately gasped. It was a necklace made from Pa's chain mail. The chain mail he always wore under his work attire. My lips quivered, and I used one hand to stop my nose from sniffing.

My fingers traced over the chain mail, which had darkened and weathered with time. It smelled like Pa, the scent engulfing me, smelling like the forge he worked on. I took the necklace out of the box, Theo helping me secure the clamp.

"Thank you," I expressed my gratitude towards Theo, even though I could not muster up a smile.

"Like I've said, anything for you, Sage," he squeezed my shoulder. "You ready?"

I nodded my head, taking one last glance in the mirror. I recognized the person who was staring back, but my eyes dulled and my hair lacked its normal luster. My skin looked paler than usual. Maybe that was my new normal. My new normal without Pa. Somehow, the thought brought much comfort to me. Life would not be the same without Pa. I shouldn't have to pretend it would.

Theo took my hand in his, guiding me down the stairs. Theo was talking about something, but I could not discern what he was saying. Theo continued talking, not noticing I was not an active listener, not even when we reached the car. Heath was at the wheel with Flynn in the passenger's seat. Theo helped me inside, my hands folding neatly over my lap.

The ride to the funeral was not a long one. Before I knew it, Theo was helping me out of the car. The funeral was to be outside. Lanterns lined a walkway leading up to the caskets of all those who lost their lives three days ago. White folded chairs were on either side. About half the chairs were occupied by various attendees while some others loitered around.

In front of the chairs were several coffins – all closed. Theo stated it would be a closed casket affair, not that I could stomach looking at Pa's lifeless body once again.

Theo helped guide me to a seat next to my family. Gran, Pop, Auntie, and Uncle all made it through the fight relatively unharmed. Gran, Pop, and Auntie were stowed away in the underground bunker when the fighting occurred, but Uncle went out to defend our homeland. He'd been searching for Pa on request from Auntie, but he came up short, seeing little to no action in the battle as a result. The tip of his left ear was slashed off, but other than that, he was in proper working order.

I took a seat next to Gran, Pop on my other side. Pop squeezed my knee, giving me one of his famous smiles – he was missing too many teeth to count on one hand.

"If you need anything, don't hesitate to get my attention," I nodded at Theo before he walked down the aisle where Heath and Flynn were now standing. My family ignored Theo's presence, their bodies loosening up with each step he took.

The sun had set, a rich orange color illuminating the sky. Crickets chirped, but the overpowering buzz of the cicadas echoed in my ear. A nice breeze fell upon us; summer was slowly fading into fall. The leaves on the trees surrounding us would soon wilt, but for now, the leaves held fairy lights.

By the time the proceedings began, the chairs had filled with a dull hum of human voices that rivaled the sound of the cicadas. When everyone was properly seated, Theo walked in front of the caskets.

"Unfortunate circumstances bring us here today," Theo started, his voice booming. "Men, women, human, beast – all laid down their lives for a cause. Each taught to hate one another's existence. Men pit against beasts. Beasts pit against men. Yet, we come here today to celebrate the lives of those who risked everything for a cause. We mourn for them. We miss them. We will not forget them."

Theo looked up, his eyes locked with mine. He began listing off the names of everyone who had perished in the fight. My heart stalled at one name in particular: "...Chuck Whitmore.."

A moment of silence hung around us when he was done listing off the names.

"Those are the names of both men and beasts who gave their lives for us just three days ago. Thirty-two people – thirty-two families. Husbands, wives, children, moms, dads, aunts, uncles – no matter the relation, these people meant something to someone. They do mean something. We will not forget them. We will not let their deaths go in vain," Theo's body filled with passion as we hung on his every word.

As Theo's speech winded down, several different speakers were welcomed. A couple of the speakers were from the Borderlands while the rest were from the Outside – all coming together to mourn. I started to drone out once Theo was not up there to capture my attention, my thoughts drifting to Pa.

I was so lost in thought, Pop had to shake me to signal the funeral was over. Pa would not be buried till tomorrow. He would be buried in the Borderland cemetery in his homeland – no place he would rather be put to rest. I walked in step with Auntie as we made our way back to the Borderlands. Gran was serving cheesy potatoes for dinner: Pa's favorite.

My body halted when we got close to the Border – or, rather, where the Border used to be. The last time I stepped foot over this threshold, Pa died. That's when it clicked: the clairvoyant had been right. Many people died because of me. Lip trembling, I fell out of step with Auntie and trailed behind, matching Gran's pace.

Gran sniffled every couple of minutes, but besides that, she was firm in her presentation to the world. She said earlier that no Ma should ever have to put her baby to rest, but Pa had prepared them – Pop, Gran, Auntie, and Uncle – for such a drastic ending. Pa grew suspicious of the Borderlands when they threw Memphis' family out; he knew there was a great chance the same would happen to our own family.

Once we arrived back at the house I grew up in for over half my life, Theo joined us with a smile. My family was apprehensive of him, barely any words were exchanged the entire dinner. I knew they saw the mark inked into my neck, but they had chosen to ignore it; for that, I was grateful. Eating Gran's food was a comfort, but it felt so wrong to enjoy Pa's favorite meal without him. He should have been here with us.

The clatter and clink of silverware filled the air, each one of us only eating enough to satisfy our hunger. It was no diss to Gran's cooking. Her food was as drool-worthy as ever. However, as we each started to finish our meal, the walls started to cave in. We were in the room where I had the last real interaction with Pa before I snuck out of the Borderlands. It had been Gran and Pa with me, talking about my birthday – how that felt like a lifetime ago.

"I'm going for a walk," I stood up, setting my fork down. The chair squeaked underneath me, and I left in such a rush I did not push my chair in; Gran would usually scold me for being so impolite, but she did not holler after me this time.

In the short time, we had been inside eating, the air had since thickened, dense and musky. The sky was completely dark, the shine of the moon the only source of light. Raindrops started to drizzle down in a fine mist. I stopped in my tracks at the sound of rustling. Was I being followed?

My body relaxed when Theo cleared his throat.

"Say it," I murmured, knowing Theo would be able to hear my low voice.

"Say what?" His voice sounded puzzled.

I turned around, facing him. He almost blended into the dark of the night. "Tell me, if I had told you what the Council wanted me to do, Pa wouldn't be dead, and we wouldn't be here right now with thirty-two people dead."

Theo placed his hands in his pockets. "I can tell you you should have told me. I could have been able to help, but I can't say your Pa wouldn't have met the same fate if the Council knew you were plotting against them, they would have not only had your Pa killed but your entire family."

His words sank into my skin like the strengthening rain, drenching me in the words I knew were true. The Council had proved to be cruel and heartless; they would have killed Gran, Pop, Auntie, and Uncle if they were given the chance, now.

My body started to falter, crumbling forwards before I managed to hold myself up straight. "It should have been me."

"Sage," his voice lightened. I looked at my feet, the shoes on my feet, unable to look Theo in the eye. "Don't say that."

"I was the one who broke the rules. I should have paid the price. Not Pa," I looked up, tears in my eyes.

"Come here," but Theo did not wait for me to come to him. Rather, he came to me, my head nestling into his chest.

"It should have been me. Why couldn't it have been me?" I started to cry into him.

"Your Pa wouldn't have wanted that," Theo ran a soothing hand down my back. "I never met your Pa, but from what you've told me, you were his entire world, Sage. He wouldn't have wanted you to take his place."

Gulping, I sobbed, "the Council was the one who left the doll under my pillow, Theo. I could have done more – I should have done more to save him. I knew they were going to target Pa, and I did nothing," Theo rocked my body as we stepped from side to side together, and, for the first time in three days, I felt something other than overwhelming grief – I felt comforted.