RULE 39: NO EXCEPTION WILL BE MADE FOR THE SICK. WE MUST LIVE AND DIE IN THE BORDERLANDS.

✷ C H A P T E R      T W E L V E ✷

When consciousness found me, I was hanging upside down. The car had flipped over, and the seat belt Memphis told me to buckle was the only thing preventing me from falling out of my seat. That same seat belt also uncomfortably dug into my chest, like a piercing butter knife, the pressure mounting.

Blood trickled down my forehead as I stiffly turned to the side, looking for Memphis. He too was hanging upside down beside me, barely strapped in by his seat belt. He, however, did not seem to have regained consciousness. I forced my eyes to blink, trying to keep myself alert.

"Memmmm," was all I could dully moan out, coughing out a wheeze in my lackluster attempt.

My body was slowly trying to lull me back into its comforting dark embrace. My head kept nodding back and forth. I could feel my breath become jaded and rigid in my chest, each breath was harder to catch than the last.

There was pain, and that was all I knew.

Unaware of what was happening around me, I tried to fumble with the seat belt. I needed to get out of here. I had to get out of here before I passed out again, darkness closing in. Bile rose up my throat as my body detested being hung upside down for so long. Unfortunately, I could not reach the buckle without causing my entire body to recoil in earing pain.

At this point, the pain was starting to drift away. I could tell it was there, but I couldn't feel its intensity any longer. It was still hard to breathe, but I felt like I was floating; my body was getting lighter.

Trying to make my brain think of all the different situations I had gotten myself into, I couldn't hone in my focus. My brain was static; there was noise bouncing around, but I could not discern what anything was.

Is this what it is like to die?

"I've got you," someone said before I lost all consciousness again.

✷ ✷ ✷

Choking. I was choking.

My eyes shot open — I was being strangled. Frantically looking around, my hands tore the tube that blocked my airway. As I hastily ripped the tube out, I doubled over in a coughing fit.

They had tried to kill me; I was certain. The tube was longer than I could comfortably stomach, so I threw it across the room, slumping into the bed beneath me. My breaths came out slow and labored. I could hear the slow exasperated intake and exhale each time my body painstakingly struggled to capture oxygen.

A thundering headache felt like it was banging on my skull relentlessly, causing my eyes to ache. I tried soothing them by slamming them shut, but that did not seem to make the pain dissipate. My chest and side were all clenched in pain, but I couldn't pinpoint what felt worse. It just all felt terrible.

"Welcome to the land of the living," a woman chirped, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "We thank the Moon Goddess you are with us. You were out for quite some time. Alpha Theo will be pleased to hear you are finally awake."

"Don't tell him!" I exclaimed, using most of my energy to assert my distaste for the idea. My voice was scratched and came out like gravel, the words barely managing to scrape out through my teeth.

My body did not agree with the enthusiasm I showed, as I instinctively clutched my side from the radiating pain. The swift movement caused my wrist to twitch — it seems like my previous injury did not get the chance to heal before my body endured much worse.

"I'm afraid he has already been alerted. I can tell him to give you some time, but given the circumstances, I don't think he will be able to stay away for too much longer," she reasoned. She was dressed in all black from head to toe — from hair to shoes. While her outfit was dark, her smile was wide and bright.

Sinking further into the bed, I meekly took a glance around the room I was trapped in. I appeared to be in a bedroom; who's bedroom exactly, I was not sure. I was placed on a fairly large bed, the bedding all white like a comforting, sterile cloud. There was a small dresser across from me, a black frame mounted up over it. The only other furniture in the room was a nightstand next to me and a weird-looking device that the wire in my hand was attached to.

There was a window in the room, but the curtains were pulled shut. I could not tell what time of day it was. We had left the underground shelter late morning if I was remembering correctly. How much time had passed?

Memphis. Where was he? I wondered.

I thought about asking the woman next to me if she knew where Memphis was, but I decided against it. I didn't want to appear too concerned about him quite yet for fear it would stir up trouble. He would be okay. He would have to be okay.

"I see you removed the tube from your throat," she said, coming closer. She took a device out of her pocket. "Open wide. Yes, just like that. I'm just taking a look. One of your lungs collapsed earlier. Take a deep breath in — and now exhale. Okay, you sound better but still not good. Given the situation, better will do. Oh, I'm Mina, by the way."

Mina took the stethoscope off my chest and extended a hand. "I don't bite."

Hesitantly, I shook her hand. I had never voluntarily touched a beast before. "I'm Sage."

"I know," she smiled, her eyes looking towards the weird device to my side. "It looks like your pain meds have run dry. I will give you some more, but it will probably cause you to go back to sleep. Your body will need a lot of sleep to recover."

Trying to pretend I was able to concentrate on everything she just told me, I asked, "how long was I out for?"

She got off from the side of the bed to move over and administer the pain medicine.

"Around eighteen hours," she responded, fumbling with a bag of clear liquid. "Okay, I gave you some more pain meds. I'll be back to check on you soon. I'm sure you have a lot of questions, but I think it is best to address them when you have had some time to recover."

Before I heard the shutting of the door, I was already drifting off to sleep, welcoming it like I had not spent the majority of the day unconscious already.

I did not know how long I had been asleep, but eventually, I had to pry my eyes open. Sleep crust had formed at the corner of my eyes, and it was hard to open them. I lazily tried to rub the sleep away, but I imagined I looked quite pitiful doing so. One hand was attached to a tube and the other wrist still hurt from jumping out the window — how that day seemed so far away.

Eventually, I was able to open my eyes and look around the room. Everything was how it was before, besides the curtain on the window was pulled open and someone was sitting in a chair in the corner. Wait, my eyes doubled back, surprised by the chair and person in it. The chair had not been there before, and there most certainly had not had a person sitting in the chair when I closed my eye earlier.

"Good morning," Theo greeted, not looking up from the piles of files on his lap. He did not need to look up for him to sense that I had woken and was staring straight at him; it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Good is subjective," I countered, not knowing exactly what to say, my voice still raspy. Gulping nervously, I was not prepared to see him so soon.

Don't be mean to him. Don't be mean to him. It will only make things harder, I told myself, resisting the urge to run away (if I even could).

"Morning then." He said shortly, his eyes still cast down on the manilla folder.

His hair tried to fall into his face as his gaze was cast down, but his hair was not long enough to cover his line of sight. His curls looked to be unbrushed. From my view, I could tell he had not shaved in a couple of days; I could not deny that the slight stubble on his face suited him quite well.

"Where is Memphis?" I asked, knowing that he'd have the answers.

I was finally feeling a little more with it after waking up from my sleep. The pain — while still there — had numbed down by what I assumed was the drugs. Luckily, they had not worn off yet. Otherwise, I did not know how I would manage to fend off dealing with Theo while also enduring pain like no other.

"That is the man you were with I presume?" He responded very flatly, turning over a paper. He seemed more consumed in what was in front of him than my question.

"Yes," I balled my fists. Well, I balled them as well as I could considering the state I was in. I took a deep breath in, preparing myself for the worst.

Theo visibly gritted his teeth, showing the most emotion I had seen. "I don't know his condition — you should be lucky I had enough restraint not to kill him."

A hot, ragging bud of anger started to grow. He thought about killing Memphis? Why? I wanted to pull my hair out. It seemed like at every turn, there was something I did not and could not understand. I knew vaguely what mates were. Soul mates. But I could not fathom why he would want to harm Memphis because of that. He was like a brother to me.

My instincts were screaming to push back about him thinking about killing Memphis, but I knew that would not give me any helpful answers. It would not lead me closer to knowing what happened to Memphis.

"What do you mean you don't know?"

While I knew little about Werewolf culture, I did know that Alphas were like unelected leaders. The Council had said Theo was influential. He would know almost everything about his pack lands, they had told me. The off chance he did not know something, that meant he did not want to know.

"His whereabouts and condition are no concern to me," he said so easily like Memphis' life did not mean something. I knew the supernatural did not value human life as the same as their own, but it was chilling to witness. "If you must know, though, he was taken away in an ambulance."

I pretended to know what an ambulance was. I was sure I had heard of it before. We had been taught about what life was like before the Border was created, but we had also learned that it was important to not dwell on that time. Otherwise, we would be left wanting more out of life, wanting luxuries the Border could not provide; some would be blinded by this want, and that could not happen for our continued way of life.

"Is he not here also?" I inquired, still not sure how that meant we were not in the same location.

Back in the Borderlands, there was a doctor's clinic. It was one centralized location for people to go for injuries and mild sickness — we never had any major illnesses since our community had been quarantined for eighty years. Those who were able to enter as refugees would have to endure a quarantine before entering our Borderlands. I was wondering if that was why that underground shelter existed in the first place.

"No," was all he said

"No?" I asked back at him.

Was he just trying to protect my feelings? I shook this idea out of my mind. He couldn't possibly believe that I would deserve protecting in this way after I had so sternly defied him the past couple of days. Why then was he being so elusive?

"He is being taken care of — just not by my pack members," He breathed out, and once again, I pretended to understand what that meant exactly. "He's at a more...traditional treatment center."

Instantly my body relaxed, there was a possibility Memphis was alive and well. Or, well enough to not be dead, at least. Finally, though, he looked up from his papers, his green eyes staring directly at me. His eyes looked me up and down, sizing me up.

"And why am I not at the same treatment center?" I pushed him further, almost startled by how easy it was for me to push back.

I was always hyper-aware of the world around me. I was aware that the world — or the little bit of the world I lived in — saw me one way. A way that might not be representative of my whole self, so I always tried to put my best self forwards. While it wasn't always easy, I had never found it this hard to be nice and considerate to someone.

He's a beast, I tried to reason with myself, but for some reason, that did not sit completely well with me.

"My pack can provide more than enough for you," he got up slowly, making his way towards me. He walked up the side of my bed and took a seat by my side, looking serious. "Not that it has been easy for them. You have denied our connection at every turn so far — "

"I've known you for what? Two days? If that. That's hardly fair." I tried to tuck a piece of my disheveled hair behind my ear but was too nervous to do so. His proximity was making my nerves skyrocket, and I had to remind myself to breathe in and out. In and out.

"And you think it's fair to me for my mate to deny our connection?" He tilted his head, eyebrows scrunched up slightly.

"I hardly know you," I whispered.

He leaned over, breath hot on my ear. "You are mine, Sage. Only a matter of time till you are mine in every sense of the word."

And then he left.