Chapter Fifty-One: I Love Her

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(Aizawa's POV)

The room was completely silent. The only sound I could hear was the soft breaths of Doe as she laid unconscious in my arms. Everything else was a blur. I was still in shock with what had just happened, and my brain tried desperately to process all the information that Doe gave before she passed out.

Her heart was failing.
Because of us.
Because of what we had done.
She was dying.
And it was our fault.

Those statements ran though my head over and over, each time making my heart sink lower. Fuck. This went so horribly wrong, and worse - we weren't prepared for it. For having a room full of pros, none of us were able to keep her safe in this moment. This was our failing.
I slowly tilted and supported her head up and held her soft cheek in my hand. Seeing her like this made my heart sink into a bottomless pit. Images of her smiling at me so lovingly flashed in my head, only to then be interrupted by the sight of her looking terrified. Was that the last memory I was going to have of her now? Would I ever see her smile at me like that again? Hear her laugh? Feel her embrace? Her warmth? Her touch? I couldn't help but feel like I had lost any chance of that again.

"Let's get her back on the bed." I heard Nemuri say rather sheepishly. As I saw her hand approach Doe, I immediately and rather instinctively held onto to her tighter, flinching her away from anyone else, "Aizawa, please. I only want to help." she said gently, "Let's at least make her comfortable."

Before she could come near her again, I quickly scooped Doe up into my arms and softly laid her back on the bed. As overly defensive as that was, I didn't trust anyone with her after what happened. I stood next to her, my eyes not leaving her sight as I felt helpless and angry at this situation.

"Nemuri, Hizashi," I heard Nezu say, "Your services are no longer needed for today. You can go."

"But-!" Hizashi began to say but was quickly interrupted.

"We will keep you informed on the situation as it unfolds." Nezu said, almost robotically.

There was a moment of silence before I heard them slowly making their way out of the room. I felt Hizashi's hand touch my shoulder, holding it there and giving it a slight grip for a second before he let go and left.

"Would you like me to leave as well?" I heard Recovery Girl ask softly.

"I'll leave that up to you, Shuzenji." Nezu responded, "Though, given the circumstances, I doubt we'll need your quirk again at this point in time."

She hummed.

"I'll be in my office. Should things change, let me know right away." I heard her say as she made her way out of the infirmary.

It was once again quiet in the room. So much so that you could easily hear a pin drop. Nezu didn't utter a word as I saw him in my peripheral vision sit down in a chair, sighing. I watched Doe for a minute longer, her chest rising and falling in a slow cadence, before slumping into a chair right next to her. I rubbed my tired eyes for a moment, trying to figure out what my next move was going to be, or if there was even a thing I could do at this point.

"Please tell me you have a plan." I said loud enough for Nezu to hear, as I ran my hand through my hair.

There was a pause and I looked over at him. I hadn't seen him look this unsure in a long time. Normally, he'd be quick to move on to the next round of tests or experiments, but now he was just sitting there looking absolutely dumbfounded.

"At this moment, no. All we can do for her is wait, I'm afraid." he said, his voice filled with shame and his eyes looking at the floor, "I'm truly sorry. I am. I didn't anticipate such a negative response."

I wanted to be angry, but I knew taking it out on him wasn't going to solve the current problem. It might make me feel better now, but if I was going to feel relieved, it was because Doe was okay, not because I lashed out.

"Do you think she'll wake up?" I asked, not entirely sure if I was ready for the answer.

He paused for what felt like an hour, but was likely no more than a few seconds.

"I'd say her chances of waking are still good. Though, I'm not entirely sure when she will." he said, "There was a reason I spaced out the time for using Recovery Girl's quirk. Should something go wrong, I wanted to lessen the impact by doing this in small increments, rather than have it all be at once."

My eyes narrowed.

"So you did anticipate something to go wrong." I said, holding back any anger that could possibly be lingering beneath the surface.

Nezu sighed.

"There's always going to be a risk. It's just a matter of weighing out the probability of which ones will most likely occur. As I said, I didn't expect to have this harsh of a reaction to this test, and I know that oversight was and is my fault. But had I not considered it at all, things could've gone much worse." Nezu's voice sounded strained behind the patience he was trying to exude. He then got up from his chair and started to head towards the door.

"You're leaving?" I asked, surprised that he would even do so.

Nezu turned to look at me as he paused from walking further.

"I need to get some air. After that, I'll start thinking and planning about what do to next for when she finally does wake up. Where I am when I make those decisions won't make much of a difference. But I imagine her seeing me after this ordeal would be an unpleasant experience for the both of us." he said, "I'll check in with you periodically."

And just like the others, Nezu made his exit, leaving me alone with Doe. I looked back over to her as she remained motionless on the bed, pleading to any deity that I didn't believe in that she would wake up. I placed my hand on hers and lightly held on.

'Please. Please wake up.' I thought.

***
(Reader's POV)

...

"We finally identified the cause of the V-Fib. The rapid heart rate and narrow QRS on the ECG would suggest hypovolemia. We still need to check and see if there are any additional neurological issues."

...

"Get her on an infusion of Ringer's lactate at a KVO rate. We'll track her mental status on the EEG as soon as we see improvement. After that, if there's a decreased level of consciousness, we'll consider inducing hypothermia."

...

"Have the parents been notified?"

...

"I'll be notifying them shortly."
...
...
...

'...Aizawa...'

***
(Aizawa's POV)

Hours had passed and there was still no sign of Doe waking up. Nezu had stopped by every few hours to check in, but after the third visit, he stopped. Hizashi and Nemuri stopped by once to check and see if I had food, but I couldn't bring myself to eat. Not only was my appetite non-existent, but food didn't seem like a high priority at this point. Try as they did, and man - did they try, I was too overwhelmed to stomach food or water. After realizing I wasn't exactly in the mood for distractions or company, and after reassuring them I would reach out if I needed anything, they left me alone.
I took a moment to look out the nearby window at the sunset off in the distance.

'I bet she would like the sight of this...' I thought as I let out a long and drawn out sigh. I looked at my phone and saw the time was almost 9PM. Time seemed to feel like a made up concept. It hadn't even dawned on me that I had been waiting here for over 8 hours. I rubbed my tired eyes when I heard a rummaging of keys coming by the door. I looked up to see Recovery Girl with her purse, coat and keys in hand.

"I'm going to lock up for the night." she said, "You're more than welcome to stay here if you wish. Just be aware that the doors will lock if you do decide to leave."

"Thanks." I said, leaning back against the chair.

Just as she made it towards the door, I heard someone else walk in.

"Oh! Hello, Toshinori!" I heard her say, causing me to look up, "What brings you here?"

"I was in the neighborhood and figured I would stop by for a moment. If that's alright with you, of course." he said as his sunken cheeks became more prominent as he smiled.

"That's just fine. I'm about to lock the doors for the evening, so just make sure you have all your things when you leave." she said, as she made her way out the infirmary.
As the doors clicked, Toshinori made his way over to me.

"Mind if I join you?" he asked, pulling up a nearby chair.

"No point in asking. You're already here." I said, unamused that I had another visitor. I just wanted to be alone.

"How is she?" he asked.

"I don't know." I answered, "She's been like this for over 8 hours."

I tried to keep my answers short and to the point, in an effort to show I wasn't in the mood for chit chat or small talk.

"And how are you?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"I've been better." I responded.

I didn't look at him as there was silence in the room. My eyes remained on Doe, waiting for any possible movement or change.

"Hizashi told me you haven't eaten." he said, as I heard him rummage through a bag, "I brought you some applesauce, in case you needed something."

I saw his arm cross over me as he set the container on the small desk next to me.

"Thanks." I said, still not looking at him.

There was another pause before he spoke.

"He's also filled me in on some of the things that have been going on as of late," he said, trying to appeal to my curiosity so we could start a conversation, "As well as his thoughts on the matter. It seems he thinks you've become quite attached to the girl."

I was definitely not in the mood for this.

"Hizashi has a lot of thoughts, none of which warrant any reaction or justification on my behalf." I said, feeling more irritable but too tired to show it.

"Can't say I blame him for making that assumption, though. I mean, you haven't left her side this whole time, not even to eat or sleep." he said, as I saw him relax into his chair.

"I'm here to monitor the situation. Nothing more." I said, trying to stand firm, even though I was lying my ass off.

"That's quite the dedication for someone who's just monitoring." he said, somewhat amusingly.

"What can I say, I don't want to miss a thing." I muttered. Even though I was trying to get him off my back, what I said was true. I wasn't going to miss the moment of her waking up, even if it meant I pulled an all-nighter.

There was another pause.

"You love her, don't you?" he asked.

My heart immediately jumped to hearing that question. Not only because it was the first time anyone asked me, but it was also because I hadn't even asked myself that question.
Did I love her?
I mean...I knew my feelings for her were strong. But was I ready to use that word? We've only known each other for a small amount of time. How could I know such a thing? Was it too soon? Did she feel the same?

"...Aizawa?" asked Toshinori, immediately snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I'm not going to dignify that question with an answer! And besides, what business is it of yours?!" I snarled rather loudly, as my quirk activated, making him jump in response.

"You're right, it's none of my business! Apologies for the offense!" he said, his hands up defensively as his eyes widened, and a small spray of blood escaped his mouth. Even though that was common for him when he got excited or nervous, it was still gross.
I caught myself in my height of nerves and anger and immediately tried to calm myself down. I closed my eyes, instantly stopping my quirk as my hair slowly fell back down.

"I'm sorry...I'm clearly tired and drained from today." I said, my voice weary as I slumped over in the chair, my elbows resting on my knees.

I heard Toshinori sigh with relief and then felt his hand on my shoulder.

"You should try and get some rest. Besides, what better way to wake up than to be greeted with her eagerly waiting for you?" he said. I hummed in response. Honestly, seeing her as she was before all of this would make me more than happy. I felt a small smile form on my lips to the thought of waking to see her beautiful face again, full of life and light. I felt Toshinori pat my shoulder before standing up, interrupting my thoughts again, "Well, I should get going. I imagine my presence won't help you sleep."

I watched as he got up, and scooted his chair back to its original placement.
Just before he made it to the door, he paused.

"You know, it's not a crime to love someone." he said gently, as he gave me a genuine smile. I was lost for words with what to say, but Toshinori left before I could think of anything to respond with.

I looked back over at Doe as those words echoed in my head. After a moment, I think I finally was able to admit it.

I love her.
I only hoped it wasn't too late for me to tell her.



Author's note: Sorry these updates are so slow as of late. This medical stuff involves a boat load of information and there's so much research involved in order for this to be somewhat cohesive and believable. I'll try my best to be more consistent with updates.

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