Chapter 45

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Extra special thanks to @awesomeismymidname for the incredible new cover for this book. I love it so so so much and am so thankful to have such a talented reader <3


A hand lightly strokes my hair, and I smile as I wake up.

"You're back," I murmur, snuggling into Killian.

"I'm back," he says, his voice bleaker than normal. "How did you know I was gone? Did you wake up?"

"For a moment," I admit. "I... wasn't up long."

The gaps between me staying awake were getting smaller and smaller. In fact...

"I have bad news," Killian says lowly. "The last plan... It didn't pan out like I hoped."

A flash of clarity, of Sight.

"Onyx Knight?" I ask in surprise. "You shouldn't have bothered her."

"How did you-" he begins to say, before exhaling. "I'm sorry. I thought that she could help."

"Killian, I already told you-"

"I know," he whispers. 

"I have bad news too," I tell him. No more lies, no more time for lies.

"You couldn't possibly have any worse news."

I wince. "I'm not waking up after tonight."

Silence.

"You- You have until tomorrow," Killian says desperately, in disbelief.

"No," I say quietly. "I die tomorrow. The Sight is getting worse. The sleep I was supposed to fall under tomorrow afternoon got bumped up."

Silence.

"Killian-" I begin, but he interrupts.

"I'm about to pull you into the in between," he warns.

"Where are you-"

He wraps his arms around me and I feel us falling. When he lands, I'm cradled in his arms still.

I hear waves, smell salt.

I grin.

"Greece," I say in amusement.

"I told you I would take you here someday," he says, his voice hollow.

Killian sets me on the ground, and I pat the ground, feeling the sand. I had never been on a beach before.

"Would it be appropriate to make a bucket-list joke?" I ask, chuckling. 

"You seem awfully cheerful for someone who's dying tomorrow," Killian says mirthlessly.

I smile sadly. "It was always meant to be this way, Killian."

"Don't say that."

I take his hand in mine, so much warmer than my cold, uncirculated one.

"Don't be sad, Killian," I tell him, staring at the waves that I can See. "I can't stay here any longer."

And I can't. The pain is so bad I can barely breathe. Even now, blood trickles out of my eyes, but I don't bother wiping it away when more will replace it soon enough. A breeze hits my skin and I shiver.

"Be right back," Killian mutters, and returns in an instant, wrapping his arm and the Charmed pelt Cain gave me around me.

"For all of Cain's faults, he certainly is good at giving gifts," I smile, thinking back on the Charmed whip he gave Ares. So much power in Cain, and his kids would be even stronger. Incredible.

"Of course you would be able to charm the Blood Alpha and Luna," Killian says, chuckling slightly. "Only you, Katrina, only you."

"Well, I do have an advantage," I admit, grinning. "Do you want to know something interesting I've Seen?"

"Of course."

"Kage and Layla are mates," I tell him, laughing.

Killian is stunned into silence for a moment. "But... How?"

"Kage turns 18 soon. The mating bond doesn't snap into place for them until then," I respond, still laughing, Seeing how the two wolves react when they find out.

"She doesn't try killing him, does she?" Killian asks in disbelief.

I laugh harder, accidentally coughing up blood in the process, and Killian's thumb strokes my side until it stops.

"No," I answer, when the coughing stops, but I still smile as waves crash in the distance. "No, they will be very happy together. She brings him out of his shell more, he gives her more stability. They balance each other perfectly. Two perfect halves."

Killian is quiet for a moment. "Do you wish it was different?" he finally asks.

"I'm assuming you aren't asking about Kage and Layla," I sigh.

"You know what I'm asking, Katrina."

"No," I answer after a pause. "I made my choices. None of them were wrong."

"You didn't choose your Sight."

"No," I agree. "But it is mine. It is part of me. If I did not have my Sight, I would not be me. I would not change a single thing about this."

I spent the majority of my life hating my Sight, wishing I was normal, wishing I was like everyone else. But as the end rapidly approaches, I can See clearly, that I was always meant for this. There couldn't have been anyone else. 

"Not if it meant having more time?" Killian asks bleakly.

"The time I have spent on Earth has been enough," I smile sadly. "There are things I would have liked to experience, but I was never meant to do them. I did everything I was meant to do. Did more than I was supposed to."

"What does that mean?" Killian asks in confusion.

My heart sinks as I poke at the sand.  "Onyx Knight," I say finally. "Her true mate is dead because of a decision I made. Thane is dead because of a decision I made. My death is the price that must be paid for saving the Blood Alpha. I Saw too much, took too much of my life trying to See that much. To make sure he and Ares Alstott lived."

"Why did you do it then?" Killian asks, his voice terse, borderline angry.

"Seers must protect the prosperous future," I tell him. "The Blood Lake children had to be born. There is no future without them."

A pause. "I suppose you aren't going to tell me what that means?"

I laugh slightly. "You know I can't." Telling someone a particular future is almost a surefire way of making sure it doesn't happen like it should. Things will already be... bad, messy in the future. Tragic things will have to occur in order for things to work out as they should, and if someone stops them...

"Typical Seer," he teases, pulling me on his lap.

"If memory serves me correctly, Alpha, you were the one who wanted a Seer," I retort bemusedly.

A deep sigh from Killian. "Oh, darling. Even with your strengthened Sight, you are blind as ever. And yes, I do realize you are technically blind," he adds before I can. "I already told you. Seer or not, I would have claimed you."

Rocky territory. Not something we should be talking about so close to my death, but I realize now that this is the closure he needs. That I need.

"Why me, Killian?" I ask finally. The question that I avoided from the start.

"Because I wanted you from the first second I saw you," he says softly.

"We aren't mates," I say in confusion. There was no reason for him to be instantly drawn to me.

"No," Killian agrees. "But when I saw you in the Blood Alpha's office, I knew you would be the only one who understood."

"Understood what?" I don't understand anything about Killian, not then, not even now. Maybe even less now. 

"The burden of duty," he says, his voice steel. "I saw you with the Blood Luna, and knew that our threads of destiny were bound just as tightly. I had no doubt you suffered at the hands of fate, just as I had, all to free the Sun God. When you looked at me..." he says, his voice taking on a dreamy-like tone. "You didn't look afraid. You looked... angry."

I laugh. "You wanted me because I looked mad?"

Killian joins my laughter, before finally saying, "I told you that growing up with the Viatoribus was not easy, not when they are the only wolves who understand the true depths of my Gift, how strong power flows through my veins. Even normal wolves can sense it, and it makes them uneasy. But you... you don't flinch away from it. You looked at me with such... defiance, I was intrigued. And you were bleeding."

He pauses, wiping blood off of my eye with the pad of his thumb. "And I couldn't stop myself from touching you, to see if you would feel the silence as the Seer in the Viatoribus had. And when you froze under my touch, I knew you could. I wanted to be that for you, be your silence, your reprieve."

"Killian..." I say, my voice strangled by emotion. 

"Of course, the Blood Luna's possessiveness over you didn't help anything," he acknowledges with a slight chuckle. "She was so defensive over you, which of course, didn't soothe the natural predator beneath my skin. She sealed your fate, in a way. There was no going back after that."

"And if I hadn't rejected Leo?" I ask in shock. Surely, he wouldn't have ripped me away from my mate.

He hesitates. "I... I wouldn't have interfered. I would have wanted to challenge him, would have been hard for me to not challenge him, but I would have respected the mating bond. But you rejected him, and Katrina... I wish I could tell you that I was disappointed. I felt bad for you, worse than you know. Even thought about killing Gwendolyn to clear that obstacle for you but-"

"You would not have killed a she-wolf and an unborn pup," I say in disbelief.

Killian chuckles darkly. "Haven't you learned by now that I have no boundaries when it comes to you, my dear?"

I shake my head slightly, still not quite believing it. "Why didn't you?"

Killian pauses. "Because I thought I could make you happier than him. It's arrogant, I know, to presume you could make someone happier than their True Mate. But Leo wouldn't have been able to make it quiet. I... It's all I wanted for you. Would have killed for it."

My heart tightens. Not my other half, but in so many ways, everything I needed. "Why did you wait so long to come to Iron Claw?" He could have claimed me immediately after the war.

"I wanted to give you time," he answers ruefully. "To come to terms with the... Leo thing. I would have waited longer, but with the missing wolves... I figured it was time."

I'm about to respond when I groan, and Killian anticipates what comes next, leaning me over the sand, and blood spills out of my mouth for minutes. So little blood left in me, so little life.

So little time.

When I'm finished, Killian cradles me tightly, kissing my forehead. I feel a drop of water hit my head.

"I'm glad," I tell him finally. "I... You have given me a great gift the last few months. I... I did not think I would ever experience love."

The word falls from my lips before I stop it.

More tears fall, hitting my hair, thinned from my body decaying.

"Did... Did you feel it for me too?" he chokes out.

"Do," I correct softly. No point in lying now. Everything had been stripped bare between us, no more secrets left to hide, my darkest one already exposed. "I do love you, Killian. I should have told you sooner but-"

"I know why you didn't," he whispers, kissing my temple. "I knew it from the moment you bit my Claiming spot. I just had to hear it."

I smile slightly. "Yes, I suppose that wasn't very subtle."

He laughs, but stops when I abruptly and violently cough up blood.

"I only have another minute," I tell him, the threads of my life pulled taut, just like my future. So many threads of the future interwoven, and I can See them all, See exactly when mine fades to nothing.

I would give anything to See Killian's, to make sure he has his happy ending.

"I will find you in the afterlife," Killian says, his voice strong, though I feel his hands tremble as they stroke my hair. "I promise you, Katrina, I will see you again. In death or in life, I will always be yours."

His lips press softly to mine, a sweet, gentle kiss before he pulls away.

I do not weep, do not regret anything that has occurred. My death is what is right, what is natural, and it gives me a peace that no one but a Seer could hope to understand. I am not sad, I am not afraid.

Besides wave crashing around us, there is only silence as I slip into unconsciousness.

And Killian did not break his promise.  


A/N: 

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