Chapter 36

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A/N: This is the second chapter I've posted today. Make sure to read Chapter 35 first.

Also, nobody better ask me for anything ever again. *eye roll*

"I don't see anything," Dorian says, looking at the book.

"Let me look," Adan requests, and flips through the pages, frowning. "There's nothing written in here."

"That we can see," Kage interjects quietly. The two of us have spent countless hours trying everything to read what's on the pages— to no avail.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Mila scoffs.

Kage glares at her, and it's the first time I've ever seen him glare at anyone. "It means that the words may be on there, we just might not be able to see them."

"How do you know that this isn't just like an empty journal or something?" Adan asks, not unkindly, just curiously, sliding the book across the table to me, but Killian takes it first.

"It's not," I say confidently, though I have no reason to be. "It's... important. I just don't know why."

"Helpful," Mila says under her breath, rolling her eyes.

Immediately, all members of the circulus respond at once.

Maryn grins, her canines descending. Her eyes have always been dark, but now, they're like swimming pools of melted night. "I've been looking for a reason to beat your ass."

Jae hisses, reaching for one of Knox's apparently not-so-secret stakes. "I will stake your heart, bitch."

Knox tilts his head to the side and asks, completely seriously, "What have you done besides run your ugly mouth?"

Kage says lowly, shadows swirling and thickening around his hands, "I will kill you."

Gabe blinks, as if in shock that she would say that, and with the utmost factual tone, informs her: "Killian will slaughter you for that."

Layla reaches for her sparkly purse and whispers, "I have blackthorn and I'm not afraid to use it."

Mila's mouth— or as Knox put it, ugly mouth— drops open.

Dorian quickly steps in, his voice harsh. "Mila, be nice to the Seer. She has already done more for us than we could have hoped for. Apologize."

"Sorry," she mutters, looking down.

"You call that an apology?" Layla snaps, her hand twitching towards her purse. "I apologize better to my dog when I accidentally step on his tail."

Mila swallows. "I'm sorry, Katrina. Thank you for what you can tell us."

I shrug. It's not the worst thing anyone's ever said to me. "Anyways, as I was saying, the book is important. I... I think it can tell us why our people are missing. It's not just a journal. I'm certain of that much."

"Anyone have any idea how to read it?" Adan asks.

Everyone is quiet.

I sigh. "Let me see it again."

Killian hesitates before handing it to me. "Don't push yourself," he warns, and I roll my eyes.

I take off a glove and hold the book, turning through the pages. Nothing happens.

Well, not nothing. My nose bleeds, and a few drops land on the page. "Fuck," I swear, wiping it off, the blank page now stained. Sighing, I continue flipping through the empty pages. "Nothing," I mutter, closing the book.

I start coughing, and blood dribbles out of my mouth.

"That's enough. We're done for today," Killian says coldly, and immediately, everyone in the circulus rise to their feet. My Sight is strong right now, strong enough to Know that Maryn, Jae, and Layla are discussing whether they should kill Mila before leaving, and if they should, who gets to do it.

I catch Maryn's eyes and shake my head slightly. Mila might be a bitch, but she's also going through a lot with the missing vampires. She was friends with all of them, and blames herself for not being there to help them when they were taken. I'm not a vengeful person in the slightest, and don't hold Mila's bad attitude against her, and especially don't want to see her killed for it.

Dorian, who was previously looking at me sadly, looks to Killian. "When will you be back?"

"When we have more information," Killian says stoically. "We have absolutely nothing else to talk about until we find anything out. Comb through your territory and look for anything left behind by them. We'll do the same."

"Sorry," I apologize, coughing some more. "I wish I could have been more helpful."

"You've done more than enough for us, Katrina," Dorian says, looking at me with so much pity I almost throw up more blood.

Blood, blood, blood. All my life consists of anymore.

I hope in the afterlife, I finally stop bleeding.

The thought almost makes me smile, filling my body with hope at the prospect of— for once in my life— peace. Silence.

When I stand up, I sway slightly, extremely dizzy. My knees give out and I crumple, but Killian catches me at the waist before I hit the ground. He picks me up and holds me tightly, and for some reason, I think of Cain and Ares. Something is going to happen with them today, I can sense it.

Knox puts his hand on Gabe's shoulder, and Maryn holds Jae's hand, squeezing tightly, as if she can sense her hopelessness just as well as I can in this moment. Layla wraps her arm around Kage's waist and leans into him, sighing sleepily. Kage's shadows nearly completely disappear, though his blank expression doesn't change.

I can see it, without my Sight, how connected the circulus is, how much they all care for each other. A weird emotion floods my chest, making my eyes sting.

With all of us tethered, Killian sends us into the in between, and we land in the Pack House.

Kage holds up the book. "Where do you want me to put this?"

I sigh. "I don't care. The library, anywhere. It's not going to help until we know how to open it."

Kage nods, and goes to put the horrid book out of my sight. The rest of the circulus leaves after making plans to search the territory tomorrow, and Killian teleports us into his room.

I struggle in Killian's arms. "You can let me down now."

"No."

I look up at him, and his eyes are completely black. "Um, Killian..?"

"You would tell me if your Sight was hurting you, right?" Killian asks, his voice hard.

I swallow, needing to take a moment before I start talking. The guilt suffocates me so badly it hurts to breathe. "It does hurt me, Killian. I've told you before that it pushes back."

"But you're okay, right? You bleed and it's over with? No long term damage done?" He shoots the questions out one after another.

I nod. "I bleed and it's over."

True. I will bleed and it will all be over.

"You're okay?"

"Yes."

Not true.

"If you're lying to me, Katrina..." he warns, his voice strained.

"I'm not." I am.

Killian relaxes slightly, and I use this as an opportunity to change the subject.

"I was told that there would be chicken nuggets."

****

Killian doesn't let me leave the room, forcing me  to once again use his shower, but I don't have it in me to argue with him much anyways. I feel weak— both mentally and physically. Not that it's anything new.

When I'm dressed, I leave the bathroom, and frown. "What did you do?"

There's little fairy lights hung on his walls, and a large television screen in front of the bed that wasn't there before. And of course, chicken nuggets.

Killian grins. "I'm making it up to you."

I narrow my eyes. "Where'd you get the tv?"

"I stole it."

The blatant admission catches me off guard so much that I laugh. "You didn't."

"I did. Everywhere was closed. And believe it or not, electronic stores don't have many anti-teleporting measures in place for thieves." Killian grins unabashedly.

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised by such amoral behavior from you," I tease.

In an instant, Killian teleports in front of me, and takes my face in his hand. "Oh, darling, I haven't even begun to show you just how amoral I can be." The words come out low, husky.

I swallow. "Um..."

Suddenly, my there's a splitting pain in my head, and I bite my lip to keep from crying out as a vision assaults my mind. Killian teleports me on to his bed.

When it's over, Killian wipes the blood from underneath my eyes, and I smile.

"Happy vision?" Killian says in surprise.

I nod, still smiling. "The Blood Luna just went into labor."

Killian rolls his eyes, but smiles too. "They really aren't wasting any time popping out pups, are they?"

My grin falters slightly as I remember the events from nearly two years ago. "If you went through what they did, would you?"

Killian stares at me for a few moments. I have no idea what the look on his face means. "No," he says finally. "I wouldn't."

We eat the chicken nuggets, and Killian puts on a shitty rom-com, but it doesn't matter, because my vision is so fucked I can barely make out shapes on the screen.

When we finish eating, Killian wraps a fuzzy blanket around me, and I hadn't realized until then that my teeth were chattering.

"This is an impressive set up," I admit to Killian. "Consider yourself forgiven."

"This is a temporary apology," he corrects.

"Temporary?"

He nods. "If you felt better right now, we would have been in Greece. That's an apology. This is what I could do for now."

I wince. "Killian, that's... too much."

"No, it's really not. You'd be surprised how cheap traveling is when you don't have to pay for plane tickets," he teases.

"I don't..."

"Katrina," he says quietly, and cups my face with both hands, and leans in until our noses are mere centimeters apart. "I told you that I'll take you anywhere. And I'll take you everywhere. As soon as you're better."

I gulp, and nod, because I don't know what to say.

How am I supposed to tell him that I'm never getting better?

****

When I wake up on Killian's chest, the lights are still off, and no sunlight comes through the windows, so I assume it's still night time.

"Good morning," Killian says, playing with my hair.

"Morning?" I repeat in confusion.

"Yeah, you slept right through the night." He pauses. "And so did I," he adds quietly.

"Did you get light-blocking curtains for your windows?" I laugh. "It's so dark in here."

Killian freezes.

"Katrina, how many fingers am I holding up?" he asks, his voice terse.

I laugh again. "That's not funny, Killian. My night vision isn't as good as yours and you know it."

"Katrina, the light is on," he says slowly, and I can feel his heart begin to beat faster.

I blink a few times.

I rub my eyes, and make sure they're open.

Everything is completely black.

My sight is gone.

Btw, the book on Ares and Cain's daughter is done and the sequel is started, and the companion book is almost done, only available on my Patreon.
And, of course, Dimensions is finished on there, as well as some bonus chaps with Killian's POV.
www.patreon.com/vviticus

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