My favorite time of the day is the night. The colors of the sky bleeding together like a canvas of paints building nothing or everything on a blank paper. The world glows with the reflection of the colors, tinting everything.

Then the stars come. They piece together the darkness like a road map. They fill the vast emptiness of the sky with light. Each star burns brightly individually, but together light up the entire world.

I sat outside on the balcony connected to our bedroom. Curled up up in a fluffy blue blanket with a cup of coffee tightly held in both hands. The steam hit my face in gentle waves.

I observed the night sky in all its vastness, taking meaning from each star.

I breathed in the crisp night air with a peaceful sigh. My bliss was interrupted by a blaring tone.

I grabbed my phone from my pile of blanket, squinting at the harsh brightness against my eyes.

'9:02'

Who would call me now?

I hovered over the accept button, not knowing the number at all. I decided to live on the edge and answer the call.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hi, Delaney Taylor?" A man's voice spoke out. It was strong and strict sounding.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"My name is Dan Matthews. I'm a lawyer. I need to meet with you concerning matters of the Will of Sargent James Taylor. Are you free tomorrow at 9am?"

"I-um... yes! Yes I'm free. I'll see you then." I spoke, stuttering lightly at the beginning.

I hung up after hearing the tone. I sat there stunned. My Dad.

I was so out of touch with reality that I hadn't even heard Xavier walk up behind me.

He looked concerned and placed his hands on my arms. I sat staring at the open air, not being able to focus on a single object or thought for long enough to process it thoroughly.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" He asked. His voice was warm and gentle, but still rough and made my core ignite.

"A lawyer called. He wants to meet tomorrow." I answered with confusion laced in my voice.

"About?" He prompted.

"My dad."

A lone tear trailed down my face, leaving a path for more to follow.

Before I could stop it, a sob racked through my chest.

My dad used to be the start and end of my life. He was my whole heart–besides Mikey.

When he died I felt like the grief had taken me under like a tidal wave. I was stuck in a cycle of grief and destruction. But I couldn't let it out–I had no shoulder to cry on or a place to sit and grieve. I was being passed to a foster home before I could even process his funeral.

I was young. The only home I knew was my Daddy's arms. He kept me safe and secured, like an anchor. But when he died I was left to float away in the dark ocean of the system.

That's a type of grief that can tear someone apart from the roots. Destroy their heart and eat them alive from the inside slowly. I'd only felt that grief twice. Once when I lost my dad, and again when I lost my baby. They were both parts of me–huge, soul-crushing parts that took a piece of me with them when they left.

I would never get back what they took.

But I wanted to be more than the grief they left behind in the wake of their deaths. I didn't want my life to just be their aftermaths.

That didn't mean forgetting, but learning to live with the pain I had felt. Learning to live for them.

But here I was sat, over 11 years later, still crying over the loss I felt so deeply in my bones it was impossible to get rid of.

I felt Xavier's hands reach under my arms, carefully scooping me into his strong hold. I wrapped my arms and legs around him and buried my tear-streaked face into his shoulder, soaking it in tears and snot.

"Shh, babygirl, you'll be okay. I know it hurts, shhh. Calm down," he cooed into my ear soothingly.

By breaths calmed down enough to listen to his talking. I allowed the soothing rough tone to his warm voice lure me into a peaceful, dream-like state.

I felt him carrying me back inside. The warmth coating my cold skin. I basked in it, feeling a peacefulness overcome me. I felt the lull of the bed as he placed me on the silky sheets.

The soft blue blanket was wrapped me around me, bringing more comfort.

I held my arms up as an invitation to join me.

Xavier chuckled at me. But went around the side and climbed in beside me.

He pulled my small frame into his chest. I wrapped my legs around his own, tangling us together.

I placed my ear right overtop of his heart, listening to the thumping beat against his chest. It lured me into a bliss, dragging me into a darkness between reality and dream.

••••••••••••

A blaring sound blasted my eardrums, knocking me from my bliss of nothingness.

"Ugh" I groaned, rolling off of Xavier's chest. I swung my arms around trying to stop the nuisance.

I slammed the clock into a nearby wall, stopping the alarm.

"That's better," I breathed out with a content smile at the silence.

"Time to get up, sweetheart. You have a meeting," Xavier reminded me.

"No," I pouted, trying to get back to sleep in the mountain of blankets and warmth.

It didn't work.