Delaney
Trigger warning

I hung up the phone and sobbed, hanging my head low. I let everything out. The emptiness I felt inside of me, drenched by the misery that came with a grief so strong.

Everything I'd been soaking up inside me overflowed with a downpour.

I felt arms envelope me in a tight hug.
I wrapped myself around Josh, clinging to him like a lost child. I sobbed into his torso, soaking his shirt with my tears and snot.

"Shhh, kiddo. You'll be okay. I'm here. Shhh." He cooed lightly into my hair. He swayed out bodies slowly.

"Everything will be okay, munchkin." He promised me gently.

I snuggled into his warmth and sniffled as my sobs quieted. I clung to him tightly, not willing to let go of my safety net.

"D-don't leave" I whispered with a stutter.

"I'm not going anywhere," he breathed out heavily. He rubbed my back softly as I calmed down.

I stared at the wall with a blank expression. I couldn't find it in me to focus on the littlest thing now that the tears had dried.

All I felt was shattered. My heart felt like it had been ripped from my chest. I could still remember the helplessness of feeling the blood trickle down my things.

My blood was still dried on the floor of the Thomas household. None of the boy's had been home since they heard. All of them were sitting in the waiting room or at work. Ben was with Scott's mother.

They wanted to be here for me but I couldn't stand to look at them knowing that their brothers had touched me the way they had. They had the same blood running through their veins as the three people who had tried to kill me.

Except Grayson had tried to kill my baby. I didn't think I'd be able to look him in the eyes again. The boys all looked similar, so it was hard to stay calm whenever they were around.

•••

Hours seemed to pass, but nothing changed. I still stared blankly around the room. Josh stayed beside me on the bed, not trying to get me to talk.

He knew me well enough to know that I was hurting far deeper than anyone could see.

The posters and maps on the walls seemed to blur together after staring for so long. My mind couldn't tell the bright red fire extinguisher from the white walls.

It was all a blur.

After a while there was yelling that broke through my silent barrier. It sounded familiar and deep. I could hear him yelling at whoever was out there.

"I'm her fiancé. Now tell me where she is!" He boom.

Xavier.

There were bangs and shouts back and forth. They got closer.

"Go get Xavier." I nudged Josh who looked almost asleep.

Oops.

He jumped lightly at my voice, obviously not having heard anything.

"Can you go get Xavier? they won't let him back." I gave him wide puppy eyes.

"Okay stop with the face." He smirked slightly, getting up from the bed.

"Hey dude." I heard Josh greet before it became a blur of the background, mixed with patients and machines.

I assumed that they did a bro hug or something.

I closed my eyes, trying not to go strangle someone with how desperate I was. I needed Xavier here. Now.

My wish came true soon enough. Xavier walked though looking tough and scary.

His muscles had grown since I last saw him. His tattoos glistened in his sweat-covered bliss.

What made me do a double-take was his face. He looked as pained as I felt inside. His eyes looked red around the rims and I could see the dried tear tracks down his cheeks. His vivid grey eyes were clouded by mist, making them appear stormier than usual.

That's my fault. I caused this. His pain.

I'm so sorry.

If only I hadn't ran away from the twins. At least if they would've gone on with their assault my baby would be safe.

"Sweetheart," he breathed out painfully. His steps were slow and hesitant.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I rushed out in a panic. I kept repeating over and over again. It was like my mind was stuck on a loop of grief, emptiness, and guilt.

"No, no. This isn't your fault. I talked to Mikey. This is the twins' fault. Not yours." He almost begged me to understand. He moved to take Josh's precious spot beside me.

His heavy arm brought a comforting support.

"Now, tell me what happened, babygirl," he commanded.

"I thought I was alone. The twins came in and started t-touching me. I ran." I gulped down the painful lump in my throat. "I told Grayson I was pregnant when he caught up to me. He said, 'not for long' then pushed me down the stairs." I looked down, feeling shamed of my lack of defense.

Xavier's finger pinched my chin and moved my face up so that I made eye contact. I wanted to look away but thought again when I saw the look he gave me.

"This. Was. Not. Your. Fault." He stressed every words significance, giving me an authoritative look. I nodded my head mutely. He gave me a sharp look.

I knew why everyone listened to him and was threatened by him. He spoke his mind and held guys ground. But I do too. Perhaps that's why we were so great together.

"Maybe this was meant to happen. Maybe I wasn't suppose to have a baby. I mean, how could I be a good mother if I couldn't even protect my baby while they were inside of me?" I asked him incredulously. Tears peeked at the corners of my eyes.

Xavier deserved someone better.

I should've been able to protect my baby—our baby.

I'm sorry I failed you, baby.