Chapter 17: wearing black

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

Delaney

I ran my hands over my black dress. I smoothed it out and made it look perfect.

It was a simple black dress that showed off the curves I didn't have.

My hair was straight and I had no makeup on.

I grabbed my gray purse and phone, then headed down stairs. All of the boys were in the doorway, fixing theirselves.

They had on black suits and their hair was fixed up nicely. Scott also had on a suit. I could tell he was trying to be strong for his kids. I admired that about him, he always put them first.

I went up to him and wrapped my arms around his torso. I tried to give him my support through actions.

He squeezed me back and gave me a grateful smile. I turned and saw Nathan with an uneven tie.

I fixed it for him, then moved on to the next brother. Apparently none of them could properly tie a tie.

Once I was finished with making everyone pretty, we headed out.

Scott drove the van with Ben, Dakota, the twins, and Carter. Then Nathan, Luke, and I rode in Nathan's car.

The twins weren't talking to me. They gave me hatful glances whenever we were in a room together. So, I thought it would be best to give them space.

You finally get a family and the go and screw it up again.

I was sitting in the backseat. The drive was silence because nobody knew what to do.

When we were there, Nathan parked the car and we sat there, not moving.

I place my hands on each of the boys shoulders, giving supportive squeezes.

"I'm here for you guys, always. Let me know if you need anything."

I was trying to be there for everyone in the family. Sometimes it was hard.

Flashback last night:

I was sitting in my room, FaceTiming Cara and Maria. They were talking about some gossip that I wasn't really paying attention to. Something about a girl and a teacher in the janitors closet.

I heard a knock on my door.

"Hey guys I got to go, see you soon." I said to the girls. They said goodbye and I hung up. I got up and opened the door, surprised to see Dakota.

He looked lost. His eyes were red and I could see the tear tracks on his cheeks.

I grabbed his arm and pulled him in softly. I closed the door and led him to my bed, sitting beside him.

"What's wrong, bud?" I questioned the 13-year old.

He looked at me, new tears filled his eyes.

"Why did she do it?" He asked hesitantly.

"Do what?"

"Why did she go that fast? Why did she get herself killed?" He asked.

"I-i really don't know. I'm sorry. I wish I had answers for you, but I don't. I asked her to pick me up and next thing I knew she was mad at me. I'm sorry if I did anything wrong." I had this guiltily feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Everyone told me it wasn't my fault, besides the twins, but I didn't believe them.

Next thing I knew, he was sobbing into my chest while I hushed him, whispering soothing words. I rubbed his back for a while, until I heard his breathing even out. I knew he was asleep. I laid him back carefully on my bed and tucked him in. I gave him a small kiss on the head and went to sleep on the couch.

Flashback over:

Carter had asked me while I was in the hospital, what she was like. He wanted answers and I couldn't help him.

Ben had asked where his mommy was, the entire time I was in the hospital.

**

The Preacher had finished his speech about Maya. Some of the boys were already crying.

Nathan went up to speak next. He cleared his throat and looked down at the crumbled up paper, before looking at me. I nodded in reassurance, giving him an encouraging smile.

"Mom was always perky, full of life. She used to take me to the park when I was little. She was there for my graduation and there when I became a firefighter. She supported me through everything." He went on, telling stories of her. By the end, everyone in the Thomas family had tears running down their faces. The family and friends I didn't know were crying as well.

Luke and Carter spoke for a little while too. Then, they played a video of Maya with her kids. A slideshow of pictures.

When the sad music played, I cried.

Sad music always made me cry at funerals.

Scott looked like it was getting to be too much for him. His face was bright red from trying to hold back his sobs. He suddenly passed Ben to Nathan and shot out of the room. Heads turned to give his retreating form looks of pity.

I hated that look. It wasn't even directed at me and I hated it.

The boys looked worried, like they wanted to follow him, but they didn't want to miss the service for their mom.

I silently stood up and scooted past the boys. I followed to the bench outside of the funeral home, where I found Scott crying silently.

I remembered what it was like when my dad died. I was young, really young. But, I remembered holding it all in, trying to be tough like my Daddy. He always looked so tough, I wanted to be brave like him. But the feelings I held in ate me alive until I erupted. It came in the form of cutting off my desk buddy's pigtail in kindergarten. My foster parents weren't happy about that at all.

Let's just say, my scissor privileges were revoked for a while.

**

Taking a seat silently beside Scott, I observed him.

He noticed me and tried to wipe his tears so I wouldn't see, but I was quicker. I anticipated the move and grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

"Being strong doesn't mean not feeling anything at all. You can be strong for your boys by showing that, even though you miss her and you cry, you get back up afterwards. You spend now grieving your loss, but then you pick up the pieces and live the rest of your lives for her, the way she would've wanted you to." I spoke softly.

That was all he needed to start crying again.

Sobbing, even.

I pulled him into my small arms and let his tears soak into my shoulder. I rubbed his back with my tiny hand and rested my chin on his head.

"You'll be okay, Dad." I whispered in his ear.

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net