CHAPTER 59 EXTENDED: Prom Night

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Despite growing up in a time where rom-coms rule, and still being a girl who would over-fantasize about being with the world's hottest man (someone like Michael B. Jordan, obviously), sex was something that often frightened me.

Thanks to the lackluster American education system, sex ed didn't really help. When it came to my parents, they avoided the birds and the bees discussion like it was the fucking plague. I wasn't even upset at them for that because I decided that it would be one thousand times more uncomfortable for my parents to try to give me the sex talk, than it would be to just figure it out as I went.

And so I did.

I couldn't say sex was or wasn't on my mind, but it was prom night. It was the ultimate cliché, and it was sort of perfect.

The penthouse suite was fucking insane. Noah was so rich sometimes, it was easy to forget how different our worlds were. Both with our own different sets of challenges. We'd gotten through several together.

I was getting undressed in the master bedroom, which Noah had pointed me to. I was going to meet him on the balcony once I was out of this prom dress, which honestly, would be such a relief. Peeling the high heels off my feet was already blissful the moment I walked into the room.

My mind was incredibly susceptible to over-thinking. Which is why I assumed I'd be panicking right now. Freaking out about the fact that I was getting ready to spend the night in a fucking dream of a penthouse suite with someone who, quite literally, felt ripped out of a dream and made for me.

But I wasn't. My mind didn't falter once. Sex didn't pop up in my mind to freak me out, or make me question if I'd shaved my legs enough, or if every part of my body was absolutely sparkling clean, as perfect as could be. Like a Barbie doll. It was a false standard that many women believed they needed to fit into a certain category in order to be desired, to have their body be respected, and treated with tenderness in bed rather than to be used as an object of some man's lackluster affection, or his horny needs. It was ridiculous to think that you needed to change any part of yourself, even your hairy fucking legs, for a man to look at you and your body, and your mind and think that you are the most beautiful person he's seen.

Noah was the most beautiful person I'd seen. Inside and out.

Yes, it felt like a dream. I could've been caught up in questioning, once again, why he settled with me. I found myself bringing up how unworthy I felt when I joined him out on the balcony, wrapping him up in my arms first, as if I could keep him there, like a present.

I didn't expect perfection from Noah, and I knew perfection wasn't a true thing one could achieve.

But to me, he was perfect. When we fought, he was still perfect. When he was an ass, he was still perfect. And it wasn't because he was never wrong, it was simply because, in my eyes, there was very little that could stir my heart away from his. We were tethered together. It felt as though I'd known him for a lifetime.

I romanticized everything: the view from the balcony–you could see the beach further on the horizon, dazzled with city lights lighting a path on the way; bare feet on the patio standing next to each other; Noah's left hand, which I took in mine as we stood outside for a moment, and I held his always-cold palm in mine to warm his up. I romanticized the moment we kissed, and couldn't stop kissing. The moment I decided I had to tell him how much he meant to me, and I could've mentioned how beautiful I thought he was. His eyes were like amber, they glowed and melted into mine. I stuck to him like honey, he was so sweet, and sometimes I knew my intensity needed his calm balance.

"I don't feel deserving of you sometimes," I told him once more when we decided to step inside. We were kissing. On our way to the bedroom.

"You are."

Noah lifted my hand to his lips and like the wings of a butterfly, kissed my knuckles three times and my palm twice. Keeping my hands close to his lips for a moment, until he relinquished forward and kissed me once again. His lips felt like silk, and I couldn't say I'd ever been high before in my life, but if anything, I assumed it was comparable to this.

I kissed his hand the same way, and caught his lips rise up to smile from my peripherals. It was gorgeous how something so small was a gesture to say I love you so much, nothing could pull me away.

I was lifted in his arms, and we ended up in the master suite. He set me down on the bed, and I couldn't help but smile while I helped Noah lift his shirt off before joining my lips, again.

He asked me if I wanted to stop, and I was almost so baffled, I wanted to say, "What the fuck kind of a question is that?" Because the answer, in all honesty, was hell no. Why would I want to stop, you dumbass?

But the moment was so calm. It felt like we were one. Just energies enveloped around one another, sharing, giving, receiving, and loving. I said, "No. I think I may have just figured it out."

"Figured out what?"

"My dream."

"And what's that?"

The way he looked at me made me feel unreal in the best way. A moment of radio silence passed between us where we were simply looking into each others eyes, and I think it was one of many unspoken agreements. That in this moment, we were silently acknowledging what we both knew to be true: we'd dreamt each other up, and this felt like wish fulfillment, this felt like pure bliss. The moment was very much real, but it felt like such a rom-com moment that it couldn't possibly make any sense.

And yet, there was no uncertainty. "We'll talk later," I said.

Noah smiled, and reached both of his hands up to interlock them with mine. Our fingers intertwining like gears at a factory. Absolutely perfect.

I laid down and Noah was pressed above me, our held hands on both sides of my body, pinning me to the bed. But it wasn't out of urgency, or hunger. It was soft, delicate. He was on top of me like a blanket, something warm to cling to. And we kissed. He peeled one hand away from mine to cup the side of my face, touching strands of my hair and moving them out of the way.

There were moments Noah pulled away just to look at me. And we'd look at each other in those times, almost as if checking to see that this was still real. Making sure that we weren't truly in a dream. Each time was like a confirmation. This was where we were meant to be.

Noah kissed me once, and moved his lips to my cheek, trailing those butterfly lips further down to my neck. He wasn't viscous, he didn't suck my fucking skin off, though I wasn't sure I would've minded either way. My heart beat up, up, and out of my chest the more he pressed his weight into me, our bodies melding together like hot iron. When our hands broke free, I cupped his face, and pressed my other hand wherever I could. To his chest, rubbing his collarbone up to his shoulders, squeezing his arm, which would then make him squeeze mine right back, almost as a way of saying Yes, more.

His tongue flicked my earlobe, and he bit down gently before returning to my lips, and that was enough to get me to want to return the favor. I pulled him into me closer and kissed him roughly, needing more of him, always. Needing his tongue and mine to do a little dance in our mouths that only we could enjoy. And I turned his head so I could press my lips to his neck, to his collarbone, to everywhere. "Oh, shit," he muttered softly, almost as if he hadn't meant for it to escape his lips. It made me want to love him more, and I kissed his neck harder, I did suck his skin because it made him weak in my arms. It made him surrender, let go. I could feel him relax even more. Relief.

"I really want to–"

He didn't have to finish the thought before I kissed him, and said yes. My heart wasn't racing, but it felt like the waves of the ocean crashing up to shore. It was peaceful and beautiful, serene, even. But there was that intensity, that crash of passion that filled my chest with a rush I hadn't felt before. It was called being in love. It was called not having to second guess sharing your body with someone because you know, fully and truly, they aren't using you as an outlet, or a vessel. I knew Noah didn't just care about me for my body, and his ultimate goal wasn't to smash, and then pass.

This was sex for the sake of love. Not sex for the sake of sex. We weren't just two warm bodies looking for comfort. We were two people admitting, very openly, we loved every single fucking part about one another, and we needed to be as close as possible, as close as the human body allowed.

He pressed into me softly, and we were kissing the whole time. Moments of pause where we would rest from our lips connecting, and Noah would find his way back to my neck, or vice versa. His hands cupped my breasts, and soon enough, the clothes I'd changed into earlier were back on the ground, and his were, as well. There was nothing better than to touch him. His warm hard chest, smooth arms, poignant collarbone. His shoulders, which I wrapped myself around like a hug, and kissed him many times. I wanted his skin to know the feeling of my lips everywhere.

•••

not the authors note!!! who is she who is she...💅🏼

this was my first book i ever wrote on wattpad. 17 years old, i was angry, i WAS the epitome of logan. not gonna lie.

im so grateful to each and every one of you for reading. for commenting. for any sort of support on this book. if one thing can be said, i hope what y'all can take away from these books is the message of love. unconditional love.

through thick and thin, through shitty pranks that take it too far, lots of fights that come out of nowhere, drama that seems unnecessary, and of course, all the loving beautiful moments... LOVE PERSISTS AND ALWAYS WINS. in all demographics.

thank you guys. this book has grown more than i could've ever imagined. its beyond me.

i have 3 other books on this platform, and 2 (5 total) that are being updated on a weekly basis:

"golden" a christmas romance, enemies to lovers, deals with trauma — updates every friday at 5:55PM MST.

"17" a take on dangerous relationships, secrets, and murder — updates every tuesday at 5:55PM MST.

love yall. treat ur self today, since it's the full moon. i will personally be treating myself to:

(i will be howling at the moon)


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