37| Love Is A Strong Word

Background color
Font
Font size
Line height

37| Love Is A Strong Word

    STATE was today. And for unexplainable reasons, I found myself getting secondhand-nervously for the girls team.

    It was 7 in the morning and Clay and I had gotten up to head down to the lobby for free breakfast. Porkchop went all out, grabbing pretty much a little bit of everything, and even making waffles with that machine they always had. I opted for a banana, an english muffin with strawberry and blueberry jam (because you have to love the jams), and of course a cup of coffee. It was just him and I eating this early in the morning, and we sat together outside since it was a nice enough day. A gently breeze blowing.

    "This waffle is delectable," Porkchop said with a mouthful of the acclaimed waffle. "Was that a good choice of word?"

    I gave him a thumbs up. "It was a fantastic word choice."

    Porkchop grinned before he continued to eat his waffle, which was decorated with whipped cream and strawberries. He liked to say that he was a food connoisseur. Whatever he meant by that, I wasn't sure I believed him.

    "So," Porkchop started, swallowing a bite of waffle before continuing to speak, "what's been going on with you?"

    "What do you mean?" I asked.

    "I'd like you to know, Noah, that I may be pretty dense sometimes, but I do have 20/20 vision. Meaning, I see everything," Porkchop said, then taking a sip of his apple juice.

    "I don't know where you're going with this."

     Porkchop sighed and stopped eating, looking intently at me with complete focus. "I'll let you on in a little secret about Florida... when me and Logan built our fort."

    Logan. The mention of her name even made my heart race a bit. After what happened on Tuesday night, I hadn't talked to her. In fact, I had barely even made eye contact with her. I was just angry with her, mostly because of the fact that she was letting her parents tell her what she could or couldn't do. Maybe it wasn't my place to tell her how to live her life, but I had only ever been trying to help. I was sure that after the multiple times she had confided in me about her parents pressuring her or making her feel shitty, she would be able to start standing up for herself and living her own life. But Tuesday had proved me wrong.

    "We talked about you," he told me. "She seemed upset that you had been off all day making out with some random girl. She never fully admitted to liking you, but I knew she did. And I knew you liked her too."

    Where could he possibly be going with this? I took a bite from my strawberry jam english muffin. I love jams.

    "It wouldn't surprise me if you two had, you know... started seeing each other after the Florida trip," Porkchop said rather suggestively, causing my eyes to dart up to his.

    "Wait a minute," I said, pointing at him. "Charlie told you!"

    Porkchop held his hands up innocently. "I can't say that he did or didn't!" He exclaimed, but by his tone, Charlie had definitely spilled the beans. "Okay, he did," he admitted. "No need to fear, Noah. He only told me. I can promise you that."

    I sighed. "So what?" I asked. "What are you trying to pry out of me right now?"

    Porkchop leaned forward and kept his voice low. "You and Logan haven't talked all week. I'm in a lot of your classes, and I've seen you two at practice. Nothing. No trash talk or anything. So what happened?"

    "Why do you randomly get the urge to be a counselor sometimes?" I asked, shaking my head. "Nothing happened. We got in a fight."

    "A fight isn't nothing," Porkchop pointed out. "Explain."

    I groaned. "I had dinner with her parents on Tuesday."

    His eyebrows raised. "That's a big deal."

    "I know," I said. "So the entire dinner was fine, I guess. But her parents aren't big on boyfriends, so it was a bit awkward the entire time."

"I've heard about her parents," Porkchop said. "She's told me a bit, but mostly Gracie has."

    I nodded. "Well, anyways. After dinner, we were going to hangout on her front porch for a bit. Except, her parents wanted to talk to her first. But I could hear what they were saying," I said. "Her parents were saying how I wasn't good for her in the long run. Not because there was anything wrong with me, but just because I was a boyfriend, meaning a distraction. Logan then practically said that her and I weren't going to last anyway."

    "Ouch," Porkchop said. "Is that really what she said?"

    "She said that we weren't serious, and that we likely weren't going to last," I told him. "So yeah, she said that and then I got mad. So I've been ignoring her."

    "That sucks."

    "Yeah, it sucks, Clay," I said. "Dammit, I should've known better, though. Right? We weren't supposed to be together because we were enemies. Things should've stayed that way. I shouldn't have fallen for her like an idiot."

    "You're saying you fell for her?" Porkchop asked, mouth agape. "OMG, Noah. I knew you two were 10 Things I Hate About You."

    "Excuse me?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

    "You know that movie," Porkchop said, waving me off. "That's the perfect description of you and Logan's relationship. And right now, you're going through a patch where you're angry at her, but that doesn't mean that you two aren't supposed to be together."

    "Clay," I sighed, "she said it herself. We weren't serious and we weren't going to last."

    "I'm sure she didn't mean that, Noah. And you'd never know if you keep on ignoring her," Porkchop said. "How much do you like her?"

    I ran a hand through my hair, contemplating the question. Logan and I hadn't been seeing each other in secret for a long time. Only a few weeks. But my feelings for her didn't start then. They started when we first started to become friends, that night at camp laying in the bed of Coach's truck as she told me about her sister.

    My feelings for her got even more pronounced the night that she was walking in the pouring rain. That night that she had told me about how her parents treated her like she was making the worst mistake ever by wanting to go on the Florida trip. And the day we spent together when I promised to get her mind off of everything. And the trip to Florida when we went grocery shopping together, acting like fools.

    And then the night of the party during the trip, when she got dared to kiss me and ran away. When we fought in the rain until the sexual tension became to much to bare, and we kissed for the first time. And the second... and the third...

    Logan Pierce was not the bitch I had always thought her to be. She was surprising. She was nice, funny, and yeah, she had the tendency to be a bitch, but in a playful way, or at least towards me. But she just kept surprising me the more we were together. And I couldn't even deny it.

    Dammit. I really liked her.

    "Fuck, Clay," I groaned. "Just fuck."

    Clay reached across the table to poke me, wearing his usual grin. "You loooove her."

    "Why are you smart sometimes?"

    "Everyone seems to be asking me that lately," Clay said, sitting back in his chair and scooping some eggs into his mouth. "It'll work itself out, Noah. All I'm saying is that if you really love her—"

    "Love is a strong word," I interjected.

    "Okay, well if you really like her a lot, then you'll find a way to talk to her. Maybe she could explain herself to you," Porkchop suggested. "Maybe it'll happen tonight."

    Tonight. Tonight, after winning state, tradition was to have a big celebratory party. Even when they didn't win, we still had a party. It was a way to still have fun even if things didn't go the way they wanted. Everyone was always there.

    "Maybe," I said. At least I would see Logan tonight. Sure, I would see her in a few hours on the court, but I didn't want to say anything to her before the big game. I would have to wait.

    And for Logan, I think I could be patient.

✯ ✯ ✯

     Things were not going well. Not even in the slightest bit.

     It was the 3rd set out of 5 possible sets. We had won the first one by 5 points, lost the seconds by 6, and now, in the 3rd, we were losing by 8. The score was 10–18, and it was pathetic.

    I was in the back row right now, which was probably the worst thing that could have been going on. That left Savannah, Sophie, and Olivia as our only front-row options. And Sophie was setting, so she couldn't hit. And Olivia was doing the best she could. And Savannah, along with Ruby and Genevieve, was hungover. She had barely been able to hit the ball over the net all day.

     And now, as we were behind by 8 points, Savannah still couldn't get herself together. I would steal glances at Gracie every so often, catching her rolling her eyes. It was hard to annoy Gracie to the point that she would be outwardly angry. Sophie would look back at me and facepalm herself whenever Savannah screwed up a perfectly good set, and Melissa would lean over and whisper to me something like, "That bitch really is a bitch."

    As the ball was served over the net once again, Gracie passed it nearly perfectly up to Sophie in the front row. Who, then, proceeded to perfectly set it to Olivia, who smashed the ball as hard as she could. Unfortunately, the stupid Athens Christian school girls team picked the ball up with no problem. Damn Christian girls who were good at volleyball.

    We attempted to get a point, and we would be shot down. Like I said, things were not going well.

    Coach had already used up his 2 timeouts per game to give us a pep talk, and then to mildly yell at us for not getting our act together. Saying things like, "You girls have so much potential!", "This is not how we play as a team.", and "The only reason we're losing is because of our own mistakes."

    Yet, nothing was working. And we were still losing.

    10-19.

    The ball flew over the net again, this time in Melissa's direction. She picked it up, sending it just behind the 10 foot line. Not a perfect pass, but with Sophie, she could make anything work. She set the ball to Savannah, who took her usual noodle-approach, flailing her arms to hit the ball straight into the net.

    "Fuck," I cursed under my breath, then wiping a bit of sweat off of my forehead. I turned to look over at the bench towards Noah, who was helplessly taking stats on the side. He was sitting there, holding Coach's iPad, one hand on the iPad, one hand ruffling through his brown... curly... perfect hair.

    Snap out of it.

     The point was, Noah looked just as distressed as most of us did because of how badly we were losing. I mean, now we were down 10 points. We had 15 points to score in order to win, and they only had 5. Things were not going as I had wanted them to. And I felt myself getting increasingly on edge.

     The icing on top of the cake? I could hear my parents screaming from the stands, like they always did. Getting way too involved when it came to the final game of the season.

     The only thing I wanted in this moment was to disappear beneath the covers of my bed, becoming seemingly invisible. Because nothing was going right this week. Nothing was happening in my favor.

✯ ✯ ✯

     We lost the 3rd set. We hadn't even scored anymore points past 10, and it was tragically embarrassing. Savannah continued to hit into the net, and Coach had to try something different, deciding to sub Olivia out for Ruby. Not the best idea, though. Ruby practically did the same thing as Savannah: slamming balls either into the net, out of the court completely, with the occasional rainbow-like hit that actually made it over the net. It was a complete and utter fail.

    We stuck to the original lineup for the 4th set. But right now, the score was 18-20, with damn Athens up by 2. Needless to say, I was freaking out, and my heart was pumping like crazy. My need to win was becoming even more pronounced, even more vigorous than in past years. I needed one thing to go right. One thing in this entire week to go my way.

    I had already blown it with Noah. Which I regretted with such an intense passion. I mean, maybe he was right. Maybe my parents were controlling, and maybe I found it hard to stand up for myself. Maybe that was why I thought it would be a good idea to tell them what they wanted to hear: That Noah and I were never going to last, anyway. Like always, not wanting to disappoint them. But instead, I disappointed (and drove away) the person who had been there for me the most and the person who, dare I say, I might have loved. And love was a strong word.

    Then, on Thursday, I got my test score back from physics, and I got a B. Yes, I said it. A goddamn B. Which was something that had never happened in my entire life time. I was slipping. Because of losing Noah. Because of the constant pressure on my mind about winning state.

     And now, we were losing. No longer 18-20, but 20-23.

    I was in the front row, my usual position, ready to hit. Although, my mind was wandering. I could feel Noah's presence on the bench, watching the court intently. I could hear the muffled sounds of my parents screams as I tried to tune them out. It was all too much.

     The ball flew over the net and Gracie passed it. Sophie, running from the back row, made her way quickly to the ball and set it at a perfect tempo to me. Taking my approach, I jumped and swung at the ball, slamming it...

    Just out of bounds.

    "Fucking shit," I muttered under my breath, slamming my hand against the floor. I stood up and took a deep breath as I got back in base.

     20-24. Game point for Athens. No fucking way. If they scored the next point, they would win. They would take home the state title.

    My deep breath didn't help. My parents were still there, and their screams were overbearing.

     "Come on, Logan! What kind of a swing was that?!" I heard my dad yell.

    "Ugh!" I heard my mom yell, scoffing. "This is why you don't take breaks!"

    Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I tried to tune them out, but couldn't. Making eye contact with Noah, he actually didn't look away for once. He looked at me not with anger, but with the slightest bit of sorrow on his face, shaking his head, probably at my parents unkind words. I looked away, needing to focus on the court.

    And then it all happened so quickly.

    The ball flew over the net.

    Gracie dug it up.

    Sophie ran to set it.

    Sophie set the ball to me.

    I hit the ball.

    The ball hit the block.

    The block hit the ground on our side of the court.

    I was blocked.

    Athens had won.

    In an instant, it felt like everything had gone to slow-motion. I landed on the ground, watching as the Athens team congregated in the middle of the court, screaming and hugging each other. But I just stood there. Disbelief overtaking me more than anger, and I couldn't even bring myself to think about being angry right now. That would take far too much energy.

    We lost. We seriously lost.

    And as I looked up to the crowd, I saw the blatant look of disappointment on my parents faces. Both of them shaking their heads at me, probably thinking up a thousand reasons as to why we lost today.

    And the main reason I was sure came to their mind would be as simple as this: me. They would blame me. Just looking at their eyes, I could see it. They were blaming me.

✯ ✯ ✯

Soooo they lost. Maybe it was predictable, maybe it wasn't But they flipping lost. And of course Logan's parents are going to be super pissed at her. I mean, she's not very happy herself.

Also I realized how much I HATE writing volleyball scenes. Like, how are you supposed to write them? It's the worst. I can play volleyball, but I canNOT write it. That's for sure. So this was my best attempt.

STAY TUNED FOR MORE. I'll update soon!! :)

You are reading the story above: TeenFic.Net