Sophia was now four months old, I couldn’t believe how fast time was flying.  Her first smile melted my heart completely; it was the mirror of Dan’s. I swear if it wasn’t for the fact that I was pregnant and felt every pain of giving birth to her, I would say I had no part in making her. From her short dark curls, her tanned skin, and her smile, she was the spit of Dan. The only thing she hadn’t inherited from Dan was her eyes, they had somehow managed to stay crystal blue; and against her tanned skin they stood out by a clear mile.

I knew soon enough she would be crawling everywhere and we’d have to keep an eye on her constantly but for now she would just sit contently on her mat and play with her toys.

Today Evie had come round with Thomas for a catch up, with Paige,Megan, Erin, Katy and Ruby joining us as well. Standing up to answer the door, I invited the girls in to sit. “Take a seat, kettle is nearly boiled.” I smiled as they all took seats on the sofa.

“‘So how’s everyone been?” Paige asked sitting on the floor with Sophia pulling faces at her.

“Great yea.” Evie grinned feeding Thomas his bottle.

“Yea good, me and Jay have finally moved in together.” Katy smiled

“Awwww congratulations .” I replied. “So any lad news with you two?” I asked looking at Paige and Ruby, the last two single girls.

“I might have met someone.” Paige smiled “It’s early days so I don’t want to jinx anything.”

“I can’t wait to meet him, what’s his name?” Ruby asked

“Ethan.”

“Do we know him?” Evie asked placing Thomas on the floor and he crawled over to Paige and Sophia.

“I don’t think so, he’s not from round here. Just moved into the area when I bumped into him at Nandos.” She laughed “We had this connection, so when he asked for my number I gave it him.”

“Nandos…bringing people great food and dates.” Katy laughed

“What about you Ruby?” Evie asked

“Well you know I’ve been seeing that Scott lad yea?” he asked and we nodded, allowing her to continue,

“Well he took me away at the weekend for a little get away.” She beamed, her smile touching her eyes as they lit her with her talking about him. She was completely smitten with him.

“Awww that’s so nice.” I smiled, before walking into the kitchen to grab Sophia’s bottle, picking her up off the carpet as I sat back down.

“We never left the room all weekend.” She giggled.

“Seriously?” Erin gasped

“Yea, it was amazing. We connected so much deeper on a different level entirely.”

“Wow.” I replied sitting there quietly as Ruby went into more detail of what had gone on and the positions they’d done. Working their way quickly through the Karma-Sutra by the sounds of things.

“Liv you’ve been quiet today…everything okay with you and Dan?” Megan asked

“Yea we’re fine,” I smiled whilst burping Sophia. She had fallen asleep on my shoulder so I took her upstairs to her room and placed her in the cot, turning on the baby monitor so I could hear her downstairs.

Coming back downstairs all the girls were looking at me. “What?”

“ what’s up?” Evie asked me

Sighing I looked at them knowing I could trust them. “With Ruby talking about all the sex she’s been having. My mind wondered to when the last time Dan and I had sex.”

“And when was that?” Paige asked sitting down next to me.

“Before Sophia was born.” I sighed

“Really?” Evie gasped and I nodded

“I don’t know what to do. I’ve attempted it a couple of times but nothing was taken further that heavy kissing. I think he’s going off me.”

“Liv really?” Ruby replied

“What else could it be? Unless he’s getting it from someone else?”

“Nonsense” Evie gasped and I shrugged.

“, Dan has wanted to be with you since you were what…fifteen…sixteen? Of course he wants to be with you. This is just a dry spell you’re going through. Every couple has them.” Katy says.

“You think?2

“Liv seriously.” Evie says making me look at her “Dan loves every bone in your body. Katy is right, it’s just a dry spell. Most couples go through it, especially after having a baby. Me and Luke tried it a couple of weeks after TJ was born but it was too painful for me so we waited.”

“How was it painful?” Ruby asked

“Sounds weird but I just couldn’t get...enough lubrication. I thought something was wrong with me but my midwife told me it’s normal after giving birth. So Liv you might actually be lucky and just get back into it.” She laughed

“I duno. What if he’s just not attracted to me anymore? It could happen.”

All the girls started laughing at me, “ now you’re being ridiculous. I’ve never seen a boy more in love.” Katy smiles

“Just try it tonight. Put something sexy on and seduce him.” Paige grins

“Fine. I’ll try and fuck my boyfriend if it’ll make you happy.” I laugh, attempting to hide my insecurities.

“Fuck making us happy…he needs to make you moan .” Ruby winks

Once the girls had gone home, I cleaned up around the house before Dan got home from work. I fed, bathed and changed Sophia before tucking her into bed at seven. Dan was usually home for about half six so I quickly made us some pasta in a tomato and basil sauce and threw in some chicken. By half seven Dan still wasn’t home so I threw the food in the bin, heading up to bed to put a movie on. Guess tonight wasn’t going to be the night.

I turned on the hot shower and stepped in allowing the water to cover my body. Twenty minutes later I stepped out and got changed into my comfy PJ’s...one of Dan’s old tops over my underwear. Nothing sexy or seductive about them. I dried my hair then popped it up into a scruffy up do and curled up in bed. It was now nine and Dan still wasn’t home. I’d text him and he replied saying he’d gone out with the lads for a couple of drinks and would be home soon.

Sighing I put on the TV and began to watch the movie I’d seen a thousand times…The Notebook. That finished and Dan still wasn’t home. I hated going to sleep without him so I grabbed a book from my side draw. I’d been meaning to start it for a while, since everyone was going on about it…Fifty Shades of Grey.

Within a matter of pages I was hooked, I was so wrapped up in the book I didn’t hear Dan come into the room.

“I didn’t think you’d still be awake .” I heard Dan say before shutting the bedroom door.

“Couldn’t sleep.” I replied before glancing at the bedside clock…twelve thirty four.

I popped my book mark on the page I was reading and placed it on my unit before turning off my side lamp and turning on my side, my back to Dan. He was home now, so I could attempt to get some sleep, I doubted it would be a decent night considering all the thoughts I had whizzing around my brain.

Dan went into our en-suit then curled up on his side of the bed. I felt his arms wrap around me pulling me into him as he placed a soft kiss on my ear.

“No good night kiss?” he whispered

I turned to face him and pecked his lips quickly before turning back around.

“Baby why are you crying?” Dan whispered

I didn’t realise I was until I tasted the saltiness of my tears on my lips.

“It’s nothing I’m fine.”

“Tink what’s wrong?” Dan asked again turning me over onto my back and lying on top of me

I opened my eyes to his face so close to mine.

“Baby girl what’s wrong?” he asked wiping my tears away.

“Dan can you be honest with me?” I asked, needing to know this answer for myself.

“Always…”

“Do you still find me…attractive?”

“What? Are you kidding?” he gasped moving off me and sitting up next to me.

I sat up and looked at him. He looked hurt that I’d even asked him that.

“Why would you even think that?”

“Because you’ve not been near anywhere near me since before Sophia was born. I know I don’t have the same figure I used to have but I…”

Dan silenced me with his finger. “Is this what’s been bothering you? You think I’m not attracted to you anymore because you’ve got a few extra pounds on you. Do you really think that little of me?”

“No I don’t. But then why is it when I try to progress things with you, you stop them every time?”

“What?”

I stared at my hands like they were the most interesting thing in the world. “Dan since Soph has been born I have tried to be intimate with you on numerous occasions and every time you shoot me down, knocking my confidence even more. What else am I meant to think? Plus you’re always home late…”

I heard him let out a deep sigh before grabbing my hands….oh god this can’t be good. 

Is he breaking up with me?..... 

“The thing is…”

I pulled my hands away and stared at him “Is there someone else?” I blurted out before thinking what I’d said.

“WHAT, NO?” he shouted at me and I got out of bed.

“Where the hell is your head at Liv to think these things about me?”

I shook my head, tears streaming down my face as I turned to face the door. I felt Dan standing behind me before his hands on my hips turned me around to face the full length mirror. “I’m so sorry.” I mumble. My head was such a mess. I don’t even know where all this was coming from. I guess all my feelings and insecurities have come out all at once.

“Look at me .” I heard Dan whisper down my ear. His hands firmly on my hips

I glanced up at him through the mirror; his arms were now wrapped around my waist as his head leant on my shoulder.

“I love you so much okay.” He whispered staring me straight in the eyes. I nodded, my eyes not leaving his for a second. “I love you too.”

“So where has all this come from ? I know we’ve not made love in a while but how could you even think I would leave you and Soph for someone else? I fought like hell to get you, I’m never leaving you.”

“I don’t know.  Just you’ve not been here much and you rejecting me on those rare occasions I plucked up the courage to try and be intimate with you. I just thought maybe you didn’t want this anymore. Just wanted to be single again.”

Spinning me round so that I was now facing him, my head in his hands. “Don’t ever think like that.”

“Then why haven’t you wanted me?”

“Oh …” he sighed closing his eyes and shaking his head slightly “I have, I have so much.”

“I don’t understand.”

“When we first had Soph, we were both so tired at night we would just fall straight to sleep yea.” He says and I nodded.

“I got talking to Luke about what things were like for him and Evie once TJ was born and he said it was the same for a while. Then they tried making love one night and…”

“They couldn’t because it hurt Evie.” I say finishing off his sentence and he nodded.

“I panicked thinking I couldn’t do that to you, I didn’t want to cause you any pain so I just restrained myself.”

“So you just rejected me?”

“No baby no, I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry if it came across that way but I was scared. I should have spoken to you about it I know”

“Dan you know if I was in pain I’d say so, it hurt me so much more you not wanting me.”

“Baby I want you more than anything.” He smiled leaning down and resting his forehead on mine, “More than anyone in the world.”

Seconds later I had pushed my lips onto his with so much force Dan stumbled backwards pulling me with him…our lips never leaving one another’s. His hands leaving my face moving to the back of my neck making our kiss deeper as our tongues battled. Pushing me backwards my back hit our bedroom door; I was pulling at his boxers as my knickers fell to the floor, not bothering to take my top off. I could feel he was hard against my leg and I needed him in me now. Grabbing my bum, he lifted me up effortlessly.  Wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist as he slammed himself into me. “FUCKKKKK” I moaned leaning my head back before Dan began attacking my neck with hot kisses before reaching my lips once again as our bodies moved in sync . As we climaxed together, Dan leant his head on my shoulder catching his breath back before slowly pulling out of me and placing my legs on the floor. I grabbed my knickers as he slipped his boxers back on.

“I love you Dan” I smiled over at him

“I love you more baby.” He smiled leaning in to kiss me again pulling my top over my head and throwing it onto the floor…

***

I woke up the next morning to Sophia’s cries over the baby monitor. It was the first night she had slept through without waking us up. Good job as well because me and Dan made up for lost time. All night long we made love…against our bedroom door, in the kitchen, on the sofa, on the stairs, in our bed and in the shower before collapsing into bed exhausted but fully satisfied.

 I got out of bed leaving Dan conked out before walking across the landing to Soph’s room. I scooped her out of her cot and up into my arms before making my way downstairs to get her bottle. I was sat on the sofa with my legs bent up, lying Soph on them, blowing raspberries on her stomach causing her to giggle. My favourite noise in the world.

“How are my favourite girls doing this morning?” I heard Dan say coming into the living room.

“We’re good.” I smiled glancing over my shoulder at him. He was only in his jogging bottoms, causing me to bite my lip as I took in his body.

Coming over he bent down pressing a kiss on my lips and one on Sophia’s head. “Morning munchkin.”

Lifting her up and spinning her round made her giggle again, making me smile. Placing Sophia on the sofa with pillows around her to stop her falling off she soon fell asleep.

Dan was in the kitchen making breakfast when I walked in wrapping my arms around his waist and letting my hands slip into the front of his joggers before placing a kiss in the middle of his shoulder blades.

“Someone wants some more action?” I heard him chuckle placing his hands over mine.

“Maybe.” I giggled

“You not get enough of me last night?”

“I can never get enough of you.”

Turning round to face me he leant down and kissed me softly. “Morning baby.”

“Morning.” I smiled leaning up and kissing him again. “Last night was amazing.”

“I’ve been replying it in my head since I’ve woke up.” He grinned

“‘I’m so sorry about everything I said.”

“, we spoke about it. It’s not your fault okay.”

“Okay.” I whisper

“Never think for one second that any girl could come close to you. You and Soph are my absolute life. I’d die without you both in it.”

“I know what you mean...So what you fancy doing today?”

“I fancy making love to my very sexy, gorgeous fiancé again then spending the rest of the day as a family. Fancy going to the zoo?”

“That sounds perfect.”

Dan took Soph up to her cot as I made my way into our room before being lifted up and gently placed down on our bed then covered in hot kisses…

Over the next hour I was shown just how much Dan loved me and every doubt I had in my mind about our relationship fluttered away. I couldn’t wait to marry this boy and spend the rest of our lives together as a family.

 ***

 “Oh  you have to get that dress.” Megan smiled as I pulled a dress off the rail. It was early November and I was looking for my wedding dress. Having booked August 16th as our wedding day I wanted to have everything ready in advance. I knew I had plenty of time but I wanted it to be perfect, I was only doing this once after all.

“I duno Meg, it’s a bit too fancy for me. I just want something simple but elegant.”

“How about this one then?” Evie smiled pulling a dress off the rail and I instantly fell in love.

“Oh my god” I smiled walking over “I hope it fits.”

The store owner took the dress and walked into the back room, hanging it up in one of the changing rooms. “Let me know if you need any help darling”

“Thank you, I will.”

“Liv we’re outside so come out when you’ve got it on.” Paige shouted

“Okay.”

I stripped off to my underwear before standing there looking at the dress. It had been six weeks since me and Dan had talked and sorted out everything that was worrying us. As I was uncomfortable with how my body was I joined the gym with Evie to try and get ourselves back into shape. I wasn’t there yet but it was working, I was losing the extra weight I’d put on and was slowly toning up. I wanted to be in perfect shape for our wedding. So looking at my body now it was still not perfect to me but much better than it was, plus all the extra sessions me and Dan are having in the bedroom is toning my thighs and stomach better than any gym machine could…and it’s a lot more fun and pleasurable. 

Unzipping the dress I slipped into it and zipped it back up. “Liv come on we’re dying out here.” Ruby shouted

“Two seconds girls.”

I smoothed it down, staring at myself in the mirror. It was perfect. It was strapless and Ivy in colour, I didn’t want a white dress as lets be honest, I’m far from a virgin. It had detail across the chest and bodice of the dress, down the back of the dress either side of the zipper and around the bottom. It was a tight bodice which flowed into an ‘A’ style skirt. It was simple but beautiful and elegant, just what I wanted.

“Girls you ready?” I smiled

“COME ON ALREADY.”

I opened the curtain and they all gasped. “You look like an angel .” Katy smiled 

“Really?”

“It’s perfect Liv, perfect.” Evie beamed

“I agree, I love it.” I smile swishing it from side to side like a bell.

I quickly changed back into my clothes before purchasing the dress. It was a bit tight but I knew I was planning on losing a bit more weight before the wedding so it would hopefully be the perfect fit.

The dress was placed into a huge cover bag to protect it and placed on a rail for me to collect once we were done. Now wandering around the store I was looking for bridesmaid dresses. As it was going to be summer I wanted something vibrant and fresh but no yellow dress looks good. Looking through the stores magazine I came across a gorgeous design for the dresses but they didn’t have the colour I wanted.

“Do you have this style dress in coral?” I asked the woman behind the counter.

“No…but they can be made, that isn’t a problem if you like the style.”

“Do you have any here that I can see?”

“Of course.” she smiled

The next hour Evie, Katy, Erin, Paige, Megan, Courtney and Ruby tried on the dress, making sure that the style suited them. “I just need to get your measurements ladies to send off, one at a time please can you come into the changing room.” The owner announced

I was so happy today had been so productive. I had the dresses sorted, that was a huge weight off my shoulders.

Making my way home, I picked up Nandos take-away. I’d not had one in ages and I knew Dan would eat it, would bloody live off the stuff it he could.

There were still a lot of things we needed to sort out before the wedding but now I had my dress sorted I knew I’d be able to organise the rest of the wedding without any hassle…hopefully. I couldn’t wait for my day to arrive…the day I could finally become Mrs Sutton and marry my perfect boy.