After The Benefits End - Part 38

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It had been three days since I’d come home and things still weren’t back to normal. I was no longer the loud, bubbly girl I used to be. All I did now was sit up in my room or curled up on the sofa watching re-runs of friends. Everyone understood so left me to it but I just felt so lonely.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, 3.39pm. Dan finished work at 4.00. Things between us were still the same, awkward hugs and conversations but it was getting better, I guess it was just going to take time. I didnt want to lose him, I couldn’t. It just fitted together, he was the other half of my jigsaw.

I got up off the sofa and up to my bedroom to have a nice long soak in the bath. I ran the hot water before stripping off and wrapping my huge white fluffy towel around my body. Grabbing my hair grip from the side of my mirror, I put my hair up before plugging in my ipod for some relaxing music.

“Livvvvv.” I heard Evie shout before barging into my bedroom.

“What?” I ask turning to face her

“Tea’s nearly done if you fancy...oh my god.”

“What?” I ask again

“Your neck.”

“Shit.” I mumble letting my hair fall down to cover it...I forgot that was on show.

“...” Evie sighs coming over to me and pulling me into a hug causing me to break down on her shoulder.

“‘Why didn’t you tell me about this?”

“I was about to...then Luke came into your room talking about food.”

“But that was like three days ago now.” She replies pulling away from me, wiping my tears.

“Yea I know.” I mumble

“Does Dan know about it?” she asked and I shook my head

“I can’t have him near me, he tried kissing my neck the other night and I just pushed him away.’

“ you need to talk to him...explain how you’re feeling. Show him. He’ll understand.”

“I can’t...it’ll repulse him. It repulses me”

“...just talk to him. He’s been so lost without you, and now he’s got you back but you’re still not here if you get me.”

I looked at her confused before sighing and nodding. “You never used to sleep on your own, you two were inseparable even when you weren’t together but now...you’re acting like strangers who occasionally hug.”

“I hate it.”

“Then talk to him and change it. I can tell it’s killing him being this close to you yet so far away.”

“I’ll talk to him soon.”

“Tonight...the wedding’s in a week and I’d love for you two to be back on track.”

“Fingers crossed. I miss him.”

“Just talk to him he misses you too.”

She pulls me into another hug before walking to my bedroom door. “By the way, Im cooking tea, be about half an hour so be out and ready.”

“Okay.” I smile heading towards my bathroom door. I needed to sort things out with Dan before I lost him.

I clipped my hair back up before slipping my towel off and getting into the bath. Just what I needed to relax. About twenty minutes later I emerged looking like a prune but completely relaxed, I loved having long baths just to chill out.

I dried and moisturised before changing into my fluffy winter PJ’s and dressing gown. I made my way downstairs just in time for Evie to put three plates onto the table.

“Dan not joining us?” I ask Luke

“He said he’s gone out with Chris and the other lads for a few drinks.”

“Oh okay.” I reply and Evie looked at me sympathetically.

I wanted to talk to him tonight but I guess it was going to have to wait for another night. I ate up rather quickly but not finishing my food.

“You’ve not eaten much .” Luke stated picking my plate up to put the left overs in the bin.

“Lost my appetite.” I smile before standing up from the table “I’m going up guys, gona have an early night.”

“We were gona watch a movie if you fancy it ?”

“I’m okay, you two spend time together.”

“We all used to hang out before me and Evie got together...you never just hang anymore.” Luke sighed sitting down on the sofa

“Fine then Daniels...what would you like us to watch?” I smile at Evie who was grinning at me

“Die Hard.” He grinned

“Wrong...as I’m here...I’m choosing.”

“No because I’m the only boy...I’m choosing.”

“No” I reply

“Yes.”

“No”

“Yes.”

“Yes.”

“No”

“Ha, now I choose.” I grin and Luke just looked at me confused.

“What just happened?” he laughed

“I’m choosing the movie.” I grin walking over to the stand pulling out Stomp The Yard to watch.

“Ooo good choice.” Evie smiled curling up next to Luke pulling a blanket over them.

I sat on the other sofa pulling my snug around me getting comfy. I hope Dan came home soon, I wanted to talk to him so we could try and get back to normal.

The movie ended and Evie was flat out lay on Luke’s lap.

“Guess I’ll have to carry her up.” he smiled picking her up in his arms

“I’ll lock up.” I smile and he nods

“You waiting up for Dan?” he asks walking up the stairs

“Na, I’m gona go bed. No doubt he’ll come home late.”

“Na he won’t, he doesn’t have them anymore. He’ll be home for nine...ten at the latest.”

“I’m gona go bed, he knows where I am if he wants me.” I reply walking towards the kitchen to check the door was locked as Luke took Evie up to bed. 

“Just talk to him Liv.” I heard Luke shout down to me

“Trust me Luke...I’m trying to.” I mumble before switching off the lights from downstairs, just leaving the landing light on for Dan.

I went up to my room, brushing my teeth before climbing into bed. I grabbed my book of the side, I was addicted it at the moment. Cecelia Ahern – Where Rainbows End, I had almost finished it...it’s so frustrating. 

I heard the front door open and close before footsteps up the stairs. I switched off my bed lamp and lay still in bed as I heard him pause outside my bedroom door.

I held my breath wondering if he was going to come in but the shadows from under the door disappeared before the light went off and I could hear him walking around above me.

“Night Dan.” I whispered placing my book down on the side and attempting to go to sleep once again alone.

***

I woke up gasping for breath...Lucien’s face was all I could see. I tried to get back to sleep but I couldn’t. I contemplated going up to Dan’s room...but I didn’t want to wake him up. I was lay on my back just staring at the ceiling...I’m sure time was standing still. Whenever I glanced over to my alarm clock minutes seemed to have passes not the hours that it felt like.

I got up and made my way downstairs, hopefully a hot drink would send me to sleep. As I got downstairs, I saw a light coming from under the kitchen door and a gentle humming coming from no one else but Dan. I knew his voice anywhere. I paused at the door before opening it...startling him.

“Fuck my life . You scared the shit out of me then.” Dan laughed, his hand placed against his chest.

“Sorry.”

I make my way over to the fridge and pull out the milk, grabbing my favourite Tinkerbell mug and filling it with milk.

“I’ll make it.” Dan said taking my mug off me and pouring the contents into the pan with his.

“Thanks.” I reply walking over to the kitchen table

“You not able to sleep either?” he asked and I shook my head. 

“Nightmare.” I sighed, jumping up onto the table.

“” Dan sighed coming over and pulling me into a hug. It was slightly awkward, I still didn’t want him seeing the hickie.

“You should have come and woke me up.”

“There would have been no point.” I laugh slightly

“Why not?” Dan asked his tone showing he was upset with my reply

“Because you were down here.”

“‘Ahh shit yea.” He smiled. He was now stood in between my legs as I sat on the table.

I had on my winter PJ bottoms and one of Dan’s hoody’s on top of my PJ top. It was hitting winter so it was bloody freezing at night.

“Why couldn’t you sleep?” I ask him as he hands rested lightly on my thighs

“Just thinking everything over...these past few weeks.”

“Oh right. I just want them to vanish...like they never happened.”

“Me too Tink...I’ve missed you.” Dan whispered stroking his finger over my cheek. I closed my eyes and tears dropped.

“I’ve missed you too.” I whisper

I felt his warm breath against my lips. I opened my eyes to see him gazing at me with his gorgeous chocolate brown eyes. Seconds later they were pushed up against mine. I kissed him back before pulling away. Dan leant in again but I stopped him and he sighed, looking defeated.

“The milk Dan.”

“SHIT.” He replied moving away from her and rushing over to the cooker. He took the pan off the hob before making our hot chocolates.

I got off the table and sat down on one of the chairs as Dan brought over the drinks with whipped cream and marsh mallows on the top, covered in chocolate dust. Just the way I liked it.

“Thanks Dan.” I smile bringing it up to my lips, blowing on it gently.

“Anything for you .” He smiled before sipping his drink

We finished our drinks and I put the empty cups into the dish washer before following Dan out of the kitchen, turning off the light on the way out. As we got to the top of the stairs Dan paused before turning to me.

“Would you like any bed time company?” he shyly smiled at me

“I’d love some. You know I hate sleeping on my own.” He smiled at me linking our fingers together and leading me up to his room.

I slipped under the quilt as Dan got in the other side. I was lay facing away from Dan and he didn't come near me, I guess he wouldn't after how cold I've been with him lately. But right now I needed him. I reached behind me for his hand, eventually finding it and pulling him towards me. I wrapped his arm around my stomach and he began to gently stroke it. His body close to my back but still not touching me, I could feel his hot breath hitting my neck. I quickly turned over and wrapped my arms around his waist, my head resting my head on his chest. 

I closed my eyes, feeling Dan's lips against the top of my head. "I've missed having you here." He whispered, his thumbs gently stroking my waist.

"I've missed being here."

We lay together for a couple of minutes not speaking until Dan broke the silence.

"Tink about prom..."

"Dan its fine, honestly. I think it was more of a shock than anything else...and the timing wasn't great. Everything with Amy and our baby n all. I just needed time alone."

"I understand baby girl, but I just need you to know how sorry I am for keeping it from you. It never meant anything."

"Dan can we just not talk about it please. Those few days I'd rather just forget and move on from...at least try."

"Of course . So you glad to be home?"

"Yea, being away from you made me realise something." I smile glancing up at him 

"What?" 

"That I never want to be without you again."

"You won't have to." He smiled, leaning down and capturing my lips in a sweet kiss. He pulled away first before leaning in again. I smiled as I felt his soft lips crash against mine as his tongue slipped into my mouth. 

Our kiss began to get deeper, Dan’s hand slowly stroking my waist. I pulled away as Dan’s lips began moving towards my neck.

I looked at him smiling as was he, “Now I’ve missed that” Dan grinned, his nose almost touching mine.

“Me too. Dan before we...'do' anything..."

" we don't have to until you're ready, I understand." He smiled

"It’s not that." I mumble "I need to show you something."

"What ?"

I sat up in his bed, pulling my hoodie over my head. "This." I whisper moving my hair out of the way, revealing the disgusting mark on my neck.

"I never did that?" He exclaimed, looking confused but then realised "Did he do it?" He asked and I nodded, pulling down the front of my vest top to reveal the other one which was slightly worse.

He pulled my top up and pulled me into his arms, "Is this why you've been so distant with me?"

"I didn't think you'd want me anymore."

"As if, you're my girl. No one’s going to change that. These marks will disappear in a couple of days but I need to make sure that the marks are healing on the inside."

"Well he was in my nightmare.’

‘Tonight?’

‘Yea. He was chasing me but I couldn’t move. It was as if I was frozen to the spot. Then as he caught me I’d wake up.”

“Baby he can’t hurt you anymore. He’s been arrested and the police officer said with all your evidence he will go down.”

“Yea I know. I just want to forget everything and move on with our lives.”

“We will . Now let’s get some sleep, it’s late and I think my magic hot chocolate has done the trick. I’m shattered.”

“Okay” I smile and lean up to kiss his perfect lips.

“I love you Dan.”

“I love you too” He grinned before placing a delicate kiss on my forehead as we fell asleep curled up together, and for the first night since the ‘incident’ I never woke up.

Definitely the power of my best friend.

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