After The Benefits End - Part 27

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*Dan POV*

I sat back down on the sofa, letting my tears fall down my cheeks. Something had happened to her, I just knew it had. Something was making her angry and upset and it wasn't just the accident. Her music blasting away from her room. I didn't expect to hear the slow love songs. 

Just then the front door opened and in walked Evie and Luke carrying loads of shopping bags.

"Where have you been?" I mumble

"We went and picked some things up for the baby." Luke grinned and I nodded at them

"Dan what's happened?" Evie sighed walking over to me

"We had another argument…but there's something she's not telling me I just know it."

Her eyes met mine before looking away to Luke. "He deserves to know Evie."

"Deserves to know what?" I ask

"It’s not my place to tell him."

"Tell me what?"

I heard Liv's bedroom door open as the music became suddenly louder. 

“Evie?”

“Down here .” Evie replied

She walked down the stairs half way before stopping, her puffy red eyes met mine for a second before looking back at Evie. 

“Where’s all the stuff gone from your room?”

I glanced over to Luke and Evie who were looking at each other. “I’ve moved it all into Luke’s room.” Evie smiled at her slightly

“We’re turning it into a nursery.” Luke continued

“Oh right, cool.” Liv replied quietly. Evie walked towards the stairs but Liv began to retreat back up them

“Liv...” Evie begins

“Evie don’t...I’m fine.”

“Can someone please tell me what’s going on?” I ask

“You need to tell him?” Evie says to Liv

“I can’t...”

“Luke knows.” Evie replies, both of them completely blanking my question.

I glance over at Luke who looked at me with a pained expression.

“How could you?” Liv snapped

“I had to tell him.”

“You didn’t HAVE to do anything.”

“He deserves to know Liv.”

“I deserve to know what? What don’t I know about?” I ask getting up and walking towards Evie.

I look at Evie whose eyes were locked with Liv’s. Both of them glistening with tears. 

“Evie I can’t. I told you....it hurts too much. It’s...I can’t do it.” Liv whispered retreating further up the stairs.

“Tell me what?” I ask again, looking at her....she was hurting.

She reached the top of the stairs shaking her head before turning into her bedroom shutting her door behind her.

I went to follow her when Evie grabbed my arm making me turn in her direction.

“She won’t tell you Dan.” She cries before walking over to Luke who hugs her so tightly.

“I need to speak to her Evie, she’s my best friend. I can see she’s hurting. I can feel it.”

“I know Dan.”

“Tell me then.” I ask, my eyes pleading with her

She glanced up and Luke who nods and her and she takes my hand and we sit down on the sofa.

“Something bad has happened hasn’t it,…is she okay? What’s happened? Why won’t she tell me?” I ask

“You know when Liv woke up in the hospital?...” she began

“Yea, when I went to get some food and then when I came back Luke was stood outside her room.”

“Yea then, well...the nurse wanted to speak to her.”

She took hold of my hands and held them tight. “Evie you’re scaring me, what’s happened.”

She took in a deep breath, before looking at me, her green eyes identical to Liv’s were now glistening with tears. “Liv well…she was pregnant. But when Liv fell down the stairs...she lost it…her baby...your baby.”

I sat there in shock...hang on a second...Liv was pregnant? No she would have told me...right?

“Wait what? No you’re lying. Liv wasn’t pregnant...she would have told me. she would have told me if she was pregnant.”

Evie now had tears falling down her cheeks, “She never knew she was pregnant Dan. She found out she was pregnant when the nurse told her that she had lost it”

“No no no no no this....this can’t be happening.” I mumble

“I’m so sorry Dan.” Evie cried pulling me into a hug.

“Liv’s lost our baby?” I whisper and I feel her head nod before I pull away.

“Why didn’t she tell me?” I ask, tears now falling down my cheeks.

“She didn’t want to hurt you Dan. You’d already lost one child.”

“What?”

“Yours and Amy’s?”

“Oh right yea...God…I can’t believe she’s been going through this on her own.”

“She’s not talking about it. Not even to me…she’s just bottling it all up.”

“So when Amy pushed her down the stairs, that’s when she lost it?” I ask and they both nod.

“So the blood the paramedics saw was her miscarriage?” I whisper and Evie nodded again.

“This all happened because of Amy’s lie?” I say

“I’m going to kill her.” I snarl standing up and head for the front door but to be held back by Luke.

“Let me go Luke.” I shout

“Dan it’s not worth it. It’s not going to help you or Liv right now. You need to be there for her.”

I fall to the floor in tears as Evie pulls me into her for a hug.

“I need to speak to her.” I whisper 

“We’ll be up in my room if you need us man. You need each other right now. Be patient.”

“Thanks Luke.” I reply standing up and heading towards the stairs. I slowly walked up before pausing at her bedroom door.

***

*Liv’s POV*

I walked back into my bedroom and turned down my music. I grabbed my snug blanket and pillow from my bed and went and sat on my window sill watching the world go by as the gentle voice of Christina Aguilera filled my room. I picked up my teddy bear monkey. Me and Evie got them when we were born. Both were meant to be pink, mine still was whereas Evie’s was slightly yellow from where she had left it on her window sill and the sun had bleached it. It’s the first present my dad bought us when we were born. I gently stroked my finger over Pinky’s head, as my head leant against the window letting the tears fall down my face. It’s times like these I wish my mum was still here, she would know what to say and help me through this. 

I felt so alone.

I heard my bedroom door open but I just kept looking out the window. I knew it was him, my body always reacted to him, whether I looked at him or not. As he sat down on the window sill opposite me; I kept my eyes on the people rushing around London. I felt him link his fingers through mine, rubbing his thumbs over my hands.

“Please tell me Evie is lying?” he croaked. His voice on the verge of breaking into tears

I tore my eyes away from the window and they met his. I glanced down at our hands and shook my head. “I’m sorry.”

Seconds later I had been pulled onto Dan’s lap. I cried into his chest and he wrapped his arms so tightly...so protectively around me.

“You’ve got nothing to be sorry about baby girl okay.” He whispered kissing the top of my head.

I broke down in his arms; the loss had finally hit me. 

Our loss.

“I wish you had told me, I hate to think of you going through this alone.”

“Dan I couldn’t do it to you...you already lost one baby that you were looking forward to having...how could I tell you that I’d lost another one?”

“I don’t care. No matter what had happened...what I said about Amy’s’ lie, this was ours...” he began squeezing my tighter.  “We always told each other everything. Why did that change?”

“We changed Dan...she became between us. As much as you said she wouldn’t...she did.”

“I’m sorry. Tink I really am.”

I know. But that’s what changed us.”

We just sat there for a couple of seconds; I could feel his tears dripping onto my shoulder and him trying to silently sniff.

“You don’t need to hide your emotions Dan.” I whisper “Especially from me”

He lifted his arm to his face, no doubt to wipe away his tears.

“I’m not.” He mumbled. “I just need to be strong for you.”

“You don’t Dan.”

“But I do.” He stubbornly replied. I sighed and turned my head to look at him, holding his tear stained face in my hands. “Thank you but you don’t. I just need you to be here.” I whispered as more tears slowly fell down my cheeks.

“I am here…forever. I am never leaving you okay.” He replied and I nodded slowly before I felt his lips pressing against my forehead.

“So tell me what the nurse told you at the hospital.”

I got off his lap and went and sat on my bed, still cuddling my monkey. Dan followed and sat beside me, pulling me into him.

I took a deep breath before pulling gently out of his grip to look at him. “She came in and told me that I’d lost our baby in the fall. I was only about seven weeks gone so it was normal for me not to notice that I was even pregnant. But I’m so sorry I didn’t pay attention to my period Dan. I’m sorry I lost our baby”

“Baby girl this isn’t your fault, you didn’t know.” He replied pulling me into one of his amazing hugs.

“I should have though...what woman doesn’t even know she’s having a baby?”

“Seven weeks isn’t that far along , not many people realise that early. You have to stop punishing yourself over it. I just wish you’d told me sooner. I hate to think you went through this alone.”

“I’m sorry...”

“Shhh baby, I’m here now.” He whispered stroking down my back as I cried into his chest.

*Dan POV*

I couldnt believe it, everything that’s happened...why can’t things just go right for us? I glanced down at Liv who was asleep in my arms. Think all the crying wore her out. I gently stroked up and down her back and I heard a gentle sigh escape her lips but she was still asleep.

“Tink...” I whisper but she didn’t respond

I stroked my finger down her face taking in every detail, I knew it off my heart anyway. Every freckle, every scar, every crease. 

“If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I...would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you.” I whispered, my hand still slowly moving up and down her back as I looked at her beautiful face. “If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped...”

Just as I finished I felt her lips against mine. I automatically kissed her back, her hands on my face pulling me towards her.

I rolled over so I was lay on top of her, she parted her lips slightly and I slipped in my tongue. Her arms were now around my neck moving to the side of my face. She began stroking behind my ear which made me smile into our kiss which then proceeded to make her smile. I pulled away grinning at her.

“What brought that on? Not that I’m complaining...”

“Your cheesy words.” She giggled

“I thought you were asleep...”

“I was just resting my eyes.”

“That’s cheeky.”

“But I don’t know whether to smile at how cute that was or laugh.”

“Why would you laugh at me?” I asked her confused.

“You totally stole that from Mike from friends.” 

“Ahh dammit.” I smiled before leaning in and kissing her again “But I meant it. Every word.”

“I know.” She smiled kissing me again

I pulled away once more smiling at her, “I need to ask you a question.”

“Okay...”

“Can you forgive me? I miss you so much Tink, I can’t be without you any longer.”

I looked at her as she decided... “I do forgive you. I miss you so much; I can’t do any of this without you Dan. I need you.”

“I’m right here baby girl, and I’m never going anywhere okay.” I reply and she nods kissing me gently before pulling away.

I roll off her and pull her close to me, her head resting on my chest. “I’ve missed you.” I heard her whisper.

“Not as much as I’ve missed you. I’ve got something else for you as well.”

“What?” she smiled up at me

“Close your eyes.”

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