Chapter 45

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Hey guys! This is probably the last chapter of this saga, yes, I don't believe it that we have come through it. So many twists, turns, tears, flirting, hurting. We have come through it all. And here it goes....

Please read the end of chapter 44 because I know it's been long since I updated.... Thankyou.

Alexis POV.

She was gone. I had cried for so long now, that there were no more tears left. Nothing more to say. I regretted not spending enough time when I knew she didn't have much time left. I should have known about the loss I was going to suffer.

Today, I am walking towards her grave, one thing I surely dreaded all this time.

Her life had bought so much life into mine and here I am today , suffering her loss. That 4 year old had bought so many colors in my life while hers were simply paling away. It was so hard to digest that she was nowhere to be seen now, I shooed her away when she came to meet me, when she needed me. When I should have been there for her.

After Clare's transplant, I came to know that Julian had come to tell me that she was dying that day and she wanted to spend her last day with me happily, but all she got was being sent away. I wished I would have listened to her and paid heed to her. But I was in such a mess. And somewhere in it I lost her. I lost Julian.

Isn't it always said that in order to get something you'll always have to give up on something.

And she was a huge loss indeed.

I felt so guilty walking towards her grave but I felt grateful to her at the same time. Her heart had saved the girl standing right beside me, holding me up.

After so much trauma, I was feeling happy for a second. I felt as if the world was right and everything was perfect ,after the doctor told the Blythe's new 4 year old heart wasn't just merely  working, it was perfectly  functional , that surely did bring a smile on my face. The widest in the longest time. But it was wiped of my face the very next second when I realized that Julian was no more.

I slowly walked towards the stage down the muddy way as I tried controlling my tears, readying myself to spill all of this. All these things, grievances, but most of all. Regret.

As I look around I realised how perfect this burying spot was for her. This was the spot she and I chose together when she begged for one day to choose her own spot. It was in the outskirts of the city on a hill that was surrounded by trees. Below it was a vast expanse of water.

And as I reach the platform right next to her tiny grave. The grave of the tiny angel who saved my lifeline.

There went it all..

" Julian. I don't know what to say about this demise. More than the demise I don't know how to form sentences out of the thousand thoughts and memories I have in my head. She took me as her elder brother. A brother who was her rescuer when she needed chocolate and was denied. When she needed to tell her most absurd dreams to someone or release her wildest fantasies. She meant so much to me. We first met in the hospital waiting  lounge where I was in tears and she was in the wheelchair. I was in tears because my girlfriend's plane had crashed and she was in coma for the past two months. But then I saw her smile. Her smile reminded me that there was hope, there was good in the world. She looked so much like Clare, the same brown hair, the same amber colored eyes with chocolate brown swirls. The same home. We have spent endless hours playing Mario cart and for those few hours I felt happy with her, I felt like that kid that hadn't resurfaced in months. But after Clare woke up she got sidelined. And I hadn't realized that till the day she passed. She passed away, but gave me my greatest joy. Today her heart beats in my Clare, keeping her alive, keeping me alive. This heart will always make me reminisce that there was a pretty and angelic one like Julian." I continue as I take a deep breath and try to control the tears flowing down my face..

" Dearest Julian, I hope you rest in peace. I hope you know that I regret leaving you alone and every moment I have spent with you is the string of good memories I will hold in my heart till I die. I hope God blesses you with the best place in heaven. " I conclude as I end my speech and walk down the stage. Everyone had tears flowing down their faces, while my eyes searched for her in the crowd, she gave me and encouraging smile. I walked straight into her arms, and finally felt like home.

She was my home and I was hers. It felt good to have finally things in place. But I lost something in the way of reaching for something.

After knowing that Clare was okay, everyone was over joyed, but Dylan left and I haven't seen him since then. He just vanished. Maybe those punches were his way of saying goodbye, saying things he couldn't ever word.

Clare was finally going home today and will finish her final year in Yorkshire with us around.

Here is the last chapter and also the most long awaited chapter of this book. I will be posting the epilogue up soon. Till then, for the last time, keep reading! Keep loving! Keep voting!

Love,
Pranati..

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