After a tad long day and another debate about who stays with me, we finally decided that Alex will stay and the others had to rest so they depart.

I was tired, it felt like I woke up years ago, although I had taken all my medications which were shit load of colorful tiny little pills with 2 different colors on every pill, I did feel weak. Obviously, it was a crash after all. Even though I thought I was magically just fine once again I surely knew I was not. Surely not.

With thousands of thought swarming in my well rested but rusting brain, and a final kiss to Alec , I finally shut my heavy eyelids and called it a day.

A few hours later..

I saw him, I saw him kiss Riley and she was dressed like a bride , no this cant happen. Alex and I love each other. Why is she dressed like a bride ? There's no way this is hapenning. This has to be a dream. This cant be real. I wished the same thing just without Riley.

I wanted to yell and make a scene and stop the wedding , stop Riley from taking my Alex away from me.

I started yelling but instead of staring at me someone started shaking me. Why couldnt I see who was shaking me? Slowly my eye lids opened and I saw an anxious Alexis standing in front of me. I had almost forgotten that I got nightmares like these after Alex left me all those years ago.

I was sweating like I always did and I felt hot tears stain my face. I had forgotten how to sleep peacefully until I returned to this town and him. His arms had an ethereal peace, and I have possibly slept my best in his arms in all these years. I heaved a sigh if relief. I never want Riley to return, that will surely be the death of me. I pulled him closer to me and hugged him tightly, he was in a daze at first but he hugged me back as tightly as I was hugging him.

" don't ever leave me... " I whispered.
" never, trust me Clare. I love you.. " he said and my heartbeat quickened.

" I love you more.. "
" now that's a lie " he joked.
" I do. In fact I love you for longer too." I joked but I felt the tension on the air getting heavier.

I then realized what I had said, I had pointed out a regret that had taken long enough to be forgotten. I saw guilt well up in his eyes, but it disappeared as soon as it made its appearance.

" you are right there." he said curtly. but that guilt didn't go away, that smile he was trying to plaster on his face didn't reach his eyes, it was all just there but not perfect like it always was. It felt fake.

" don't be harsh on yourself Alex, it's okay  to not realize, Atleast now you do, that's all I need. "

" that's all you need but not what you deserve, you deserve better than accepting a person that has broken you so many times. "

" I decide who I deserve and whom I need and for now you should be happy that I want only you. "

" not just for now, forever. "
" I hope so.. "

Both of our stares were intense. This was a topic that was never touched by any of us, we both had skillfully avoided it.

But thankgod he opened up today, I never imagined that guilt was eating him away like this, that he felt so miserable about hurting me. Now this makes me ponder that this relationship is one the basis of a guilt trip. I wanted to ask him this so bad but I couldn't, I just couldn't.

I was about to look away when I heard the door open and Dr. Simmons entered my ward with a lady doctor on his tail. I wanted to know who she was, but the doctor beat me to it.

" MS. Thompson she is your doctor, rather I must say your specialist.. " and the lady came from behind him, and it didn't take me long enough to recognize her as Riley's mother. And behind her the devil came.

She was the nightmare, the one who had haunted me for the major of my painful life, she was the one who didn't let me sleep at night and took away the peace from the day.

She was Riley. From when did Riley's mom become a heart specialist, whereas  I thought the only thing her daughter was capable of was breaking hearts and not making them beat. She smiled at me for once a pleasant smile but I realized it wasn't for me it was for the one who stood right behind me, Alexis.

Riley, get your eyes of him or else I will take them out for sure. Stop staring at him.

But Alexis just made it easier for her as he walked and stood in front of me.

" Why are you here? " he asked oh so casually. A not really comforting ecpression staining his face .God isn't she his ex.

But her mother answered instead.

" darling didn't you here the doctor say, I am the heart specialist. "

She came and stood next to me, too close for her good. Her mom checked my heartbeat, while she came close to my ear, too close, I thought she was checking the pulse or something, but there was more to it than just a friendly hug .

" he'll be mine, sooner than you know. Back off soon. " she hissed, and tears welled up in my eyes. Not because of sorrow but because of rage.

I controlled myself because I didn't want Alex to see what kind of effect she still had on me.

Well, we'll see Riley.

The game is so on.

I know this is late, like really really late and I really apologize. I didn't mean to be this late but things keep coming up. I promise to update sooner.

Love,
Pranati.