23. Until the Wedding is Over

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"Jenny–"

A female voice coming from the door made me jump away from Blake's grip. I quickly turned around and found Samantha standing at the door, looking at me and Blake with a questioning look. But before I could say anything, the frown on her face disappeared, and she smiled at me.

"Things get a bit out of hand. And" —she glared at Blake— "it's your fault." She shifted her gaze to me again. "What are we going to do? Kick the boys out or we'll just leave?"

"No need," Blake cut in. "We're going soon."

I checked the time on my phone, still a bit groggy from the encounter I had with Blake. "It's nearing midnight. I guess it's time for the pajama party. Or Lea will be drinking too much and get a nasty headache in the morning."

"Alright. Let's drag her to the car," she said, shooting Blake another glare before turning around to fetch Lea.

When we went back inside, my best friend was singing a sappy song at the top of her lungs, nearly breaking the mic, while Garry was standing and leaning back to the bar counter, sending her distant kisses. They looked like two strangers flirting in a random bar.

A small jab hit my chest thinking about our end games. She dated Garry at around the same I started seeing Blake, but we ended up in different places now. One couple was now entering a matrimony life, while the other was already split into two and confused.

When we jumped in the limousine again, we head to our last stop: the old flat where Lea and I used to live. Samantha proposed to the tenants beforehand if we could rent their place for a night for the bride, with a generous offer, of course. The place brought too much nostalgia after all.

"Are we back at the resort?" Lea asked when she jumped out of the car, looking up at the tall building in front of us. "It looks a tad bit different."

"Even better," I said, wrapping my hand around her arm and escorting her to the fourth floor, where our old unit was. Luckily, they'd built an elevator this time, so that we didn't have to carry Lea through the stairs. I wondered how much my unit cost nowadays.

"Wait, wait," Lea said, glancing around our surroundings when we walked along the corridor to our unit. "I know this place! Oh, my god!" She squealed and looked at me with bright eyes. "Jen? Damn, girl! I can't believe you made this happen!"

"Sam did it for us, though."

Once inside, we roamed around the house. The main layout was still pretty much the same except for a huge study desk placed next to the kitchen window. Eating at the dining table was overrated nowadays, and the couch had become a one-stop solution. Still, I couldn't stop smiling as I strolled around the unit, reminiscing the good old days when I was still the naive and hopeful Jenny.

The pajama party didn't last long because everyone was tired and wasted, except me, because my mind was too sober thinking about what happened at Baley's entrance hall. Phoebe and Alexandria took my old room, while Samantha and Lea got Lea's old room. Garry's sister offered to switch so that I didn't have to sleep on the couch, but I refused. I had too many memories tied up to every corner of this place, and I didn't want to be shut inside a bedroom that wasn't even mine.

Lying down in the dark living room with the beaming light from a muted TV, my mind jumped back to Blake. I was so close to kissing him and would have done it if Samantha hadn't come to interrupt. I'd lost the battle.

He still gave me the shiver when his hands grip my waist. He still had me under his spell when our faces were so close, and his eyes were boring into mine. He was still capable of making my knees buckle and twisting my guts with needs. He was the person whom I threw away my rational mind for, and how did I end up in the same rabbit hole now?

I was in deep, deep trouble.

A vibration sound pulled me out of my bubble of thought. My phone screen blinked from the coffee table, and I wondered who would call me this late. I couldn't be Noah because he texted earlier today that he would need to sleep early, before flying back home for a quick project meeting. Then he would be ready to pack his bag and come this way.

My breath hitched my throat when I recognized the numbers. I used to know it by heart. But wait? How on earth...

"Blake?" I said once I picked up his call, half whispering. "How did you know my number?"

"Come down, will you?"

Staggered, I prompted myself up as if I would be able to hear him better while sitting. "What?"

"I'm in the driveway, waiting for you to come down, like the old time."

I looked around to make sure no one was awake and listening to our conversation, but of course, it was just me in the living room. Scrambling out of the couch, I tiptoed to the coat stand, snatched my jacket, and opened the door, careful not to make any sound.

It felt surreal that I walked along the same corridor, passing the same door, and the same parking lot just to meet the same man like last time. What the hell was I doing? I should turn around, go back inside, and text him that I wasn't coming down. I should stop this absurd situation that had been haunting me for the past few days.

Yet my feet keep moving forward, every step bringing me to the man who was standing against his black Benz under the streetlight and watching me. Butterflies swarmed inside my belly when I saw how delicious he looked in his black wool coat and grey scarf. When his lips curled into a light smile, my heart skipped a beat. I must have been drunk, otherwise, I wouldn't be standing in front of him and drooling like now.

"I don't understand," I said, trying to act cool. "Shouldn't you be at the beach house with the rest?"

"They're asleep now." He glanced up at the building behind me. "And how's the pajama party?"

"Didn't last long." I shrugged. "They're asleep now."

He chuckled when I repeated his line and mimicked his tone. "Seems like everyone is asleep but us. How is the place now, by the way? Still the same?"

Slipping my cold hands into my pockets, I turned around to briefly look at my old flat. "It's the same, but not the same. But at least, they have an elevator now."

"That's good," he replied, but his eyes never left my face, prompting me to feel nervous all of a sudden.

"What do you want Blake? Why are you here?"

"I want to see you, obviously."

"But why?"

"Do I need to spell it out again, Jennifer? Besides," he said, smirking, "we were interrupted back in the bar."

"Blake, this is..."

"...wrong. I know you would say it." He prompted himself up from his car, suddenly towering over me. "How long have you known me, Jennifer? I didn't care if you were a student in the faculty I was working for, yet I made a move on you, and now we're talking about what's right or wrong?"

I opened my mouth and closed it again; I was at a loss for words because he had his point.

"When it comes to you, it's not about what's right or wrong anymore. It's about what you want and what we want, then we'll fix the rest."

I swallowed hard. Blake was still the same bold man when he spoke his mind, and somehow it made him even more dangerous for my sanity. Heaven knew how hard I refrained from grabbing his collar, pulling him into me, and kissing him like there was no tomorrow. Yet, I managed to stay rooted in my spot. "I don't know, Blake."

He sighed and looked down at his shoes. "It's Noah, isn't it?"

"Noah is..." I paused, trying to find the perfect answer to reply to him. "I don't even know where I stand with him."

"What do you mean?"

I groaned inwardly, regretting that I was telling him the truth. I should have just lied, but having him so close and talking like we used to do made all the lies feel useless. How long did I need to seal myself with pretense? "I'm not sure if I want to be exclusive with him. Not that I don't like him. I do. But I don't think a serious relationship is for me."

He nodded. "So, you're back to the old Jennifer I met for the first time."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. As you see, relationships never worked for me." A chilly wind gushed over me, prompting my hair to dance in the air. I hugged my coat closer to my torso to block the cold. I should've put on a sweater before I dashed outside.

"Drive with me?" he offered. "I have a heater in my car, in case you forget."

I chuckled at his dry joke. "I–" I glanced at the flat building, inwardly battling whether I should say yes or no.

"Just an hour or two, then I'll bring you back to the girls. It's better to talk in the car than standing here in the cold."

I looked up at him, and our gazes locked. This was my cue to turn him down and go back inside, and this was the moment when I should know better than to make the same mistake. But I didn't move a muscle and said. "Once I jumped into your car, it's not just going to be a talk, right?"

I knew I was being blunt, and the look on his face confirmed it. "What do you want then?" he asked, his eyes boring into mine.

"The same thing you want, but we're not going back together, Blake." He blinked, probably surprised by my straightforward reply. "After this, we will go back to how it was, you with Kendall, or whoever you want to date later, and I will fix my shit with Noah. We will live like strangers again after the wedding is over."

"I'll take what I can take."


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