Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave
________________

02/07/2016

The doctor arrived half hour later that felt like hours. The entire time Luke paced the room. Worry and fear coated his face. Luke sat beside me and held my hand. I've seen Luke angry, annoyed, smile but never frightened.

After we got home I was feeling pain but said nothing. Then Luke tried to kiss me.

Everything came flooding back. The pain he gave my body. The emotional scar he left inside my soul. I flinched back. I didn't want to be intimate with him. I recall his harsh words.

Then I went to bed. I fell asleep and was awaken with terrible pain in my abdomen. My back felt like it splitting into two.

I look down and the bed was covered in blood. Blood every where. I raced to Luke's room.

The doctor came and checked me. My heart was beating so hard, so fast. I prayed silently to God to let our child be safe. To be alive.

He told me that I had a Placenta Abruption. The walls of my uterus and the placenta was detached partly. It could affect the amount of oxygen and nutrients the baby would receive. It could even lead to miscarriage.

He gave me some herbs and advice that I take bed rest. I shouldn't run or lift anything heavy. He said it would be best if I laid in bed for the rest of my pregnancy.

The doctor along with Mrs Witty left and bid us goodnight. It was just Luke and I. We were in an uncomfortable silence.

It was Luke who broke the silence.

" I am so sorry Emily for the way I treated you. For the way I treat you. God knows you don't deserve it. That day I saw you walking down the isle your face covered, you didn't even hold your uncle's hand I couldn't help but think you were a spoilt brat. Then you cried the whole time through the ceremony. You never once acknowledged me. I was angry. I was use to women swooning at me. Here was my wife immune to my charms." I touched his cheek and he kissed my palm. I smiled at him for him to continue.

"I know how superficial that makes me sound. I was such a fool. That night. I was such a bastard to you. I was intentionally rough with you because my pride was wounded. Which is no excuse for what I did. God sakes you didn't even touch me. You couldn't even look at me. What a monster I must be your eyes. I can't blame you for seeing me as such. I was not always this way. When I was 19 when I fancied myself in love. Bella! Her name was Bella. She was so innocent, pure or atleast that's the impression she gave. I fell hard. I wanted to marry her. My parents were against it. Said I was too young that something wasn't right about her. My cousin Albert pushed me to marry her. On the night before my wedding Albert said we should celebrate. He got me drunk. They both rob me of most of inheritance. Silly me. I had made a account with almost all my inheritance with both our names.

They took off into the night like the thieves they were. On fleeing their coach turned over. Doctors say majority of their bones were broken before they died. They suffered just as I have all these years. They cheated me. Betrayed me.

I tried to drown out the pain in a bed filled with different woman. I became a scandalous flirt. A Casanova. A damn lusty man. A man who's only purpose for a woman was to have her fill his desire.

Then you were just like her. With drawn, shy, innocent, pure! But that's really who you were and I didn't know that. I compared you to her before I even got to know you. That will forever be my biggest mistake" He got up and slammed his fist in the door and I gasped.

"I tainted you. I hurt you. I know I did. Saying sorry a million times. Buying you flowers and chocolate can never take back what I did to you. I took my unresolved issues out on you. It was stupid and selfish. You didn't deserve that. You're not her" I listened to every letter.

He walked back over to me, got on his knees.

"I know and I remember what I said to you upon coming to this house. My stupid rules. I beg you forget them. Forget everything I said that night and tonight. I know I hurt you so much that night. Not just physically! Mentally as well. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I yelled at you tonight. I swear on my parents. I will never lay a finger on you unless you want me to. Which I highly doubt you'll ever want. But that means nothing to me if you forgive me. I'm sorry a million time for all the pain I've cause and to all the pain you've endure in your life. I beg of you!

Emily I hope that someday you will find it your heart to forgive me please. I want to be someone our child can look up to. Who you can look up to. Please forgive me"

"I forgive you".
~~

After that night I saw the changes in Luke. He became more talkative and smiled a lot more.
I saw him more than Mrs Witty. He started to bring my breakfast to me. Even fed me at times.

One day he was bathing me and as he washed my back I felt him stiffened. I had gotten over my fear of Luke touching me or seeing me naked.

"What happened to your back?" He asked

"I was whipped by Victoria" I closed my eyes.

"What was the need for this? Why would she do this?"

"I tried to run away once when I was twelve and she caught me. She whipped me and left me in the attic for a week without food"

"What?" His fist were clenched.

"It was long ago. I've forgiven her. But I shall never forget though" I held his hand.

"I'm sorry you had to go through all of that"

"It's the things in life that make us who we are. They may either make us stronger or weaker" I leaned back against the bath.
~~

Later that night Luke came to my chambers which was strange. I rarely see him at nights. He walked to the bed and laid beside me. He stayed true to his words and never touched me unless I gave him permission. We were both on our sides and we just stared into each other's eyes.

He came closer.

"Can I?" He asked.

I nodded.

His hand reached out and began rubbing my stomach. Which was ticklish and soothing. Whilst I stroke his hair and the baby suddenly kicked. I could tell that Luke was shock and quickly rose from my stomach.

" It's been happening a lot since lately at nights" he looked at me like a miracle just happened. He closed his eyes as I listened to his soft breathing.

"You mean the world to me" he whispered softly as he fell into slumber.

Soooo that's Luke's story...
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Mal-Bear🐻