You desired my attention
But
Denied my affections
Mumford & Sons
________________________

Hello it's me🎶
UPDATE!!!
UPDATE!!!

01/11/2016

EMILY POV

Today a seamstress would come and take my measurements for the wedding dress. I sighed and stared out my window. I took time to admire this place I've grown to think was my home. But it wasn't. It was just a house. One that held nothing but pain, sadness and hate for me.

The grounds would soon need to be weeded. The lawn was getting quite bushy. The pond I could barely see the fishes. The water had become a dark color.

I saw a butterfly out side. How lucky it was. Not a care in the world. No responsibilities. No duties. Going where its wing led it. I often wondered what it would be like to be free. I was nothing more than a puppet. A kit lost in a storm. Always being controlled. How I envied that butterfly.

So I was to leave this hell just to be tossed into another. From one house to a next. Not a home.To live with a stranger. A man. My husband.

I thought about how my life would change once I'd become a wife, if my father were here oh how would my life differ. Or perhaps not. That old crow would probably find some way to convince him that this was for the best. I sighed.

I wanted to be angry with my father and hate him. He let "her" cause a wedge between us and look at where I am now. Being married off to a stranger, being starved and humiliated and so much more. All she ever did was cause me pain emotionally and physically.

Peggy once told me a man in love is a man who doesn't think straight at times. A man in love was blind.... But this blind?

I tried my uttermost hardest to see it through my fathers eyes. But I could not. To love someone so carelessly and blindly. To jump at how high they wanted. To become a puppet of love.

Love

What would it be like to love someone and have them love you back just as equally or more. I was certain I would not find it in Mr Rochester.

I could never put someone over my child. He left everything to her. Everything! I clenched my fist. I wanted to hate him, to hate my mother for leaving but I could not. What was the point of being angry with a dead man and a woman who had abandoned me. Who had not seen it fit to choose her child rather than a shameful scandalously affair. To be here and dry my tears. I dismissed the thought of that woman. She was nothing to me.

I had to let go of the past an think of the future. I scoffed. What future? The one to a man I heard devilish tails about. Peggy had personally took it upon herself to find out about the infamous "Mr Rochester" only to come back with sympathy in her eyes. He was a rake! I was to marry a Rake. A blasted rake. A very handsome, beautiful, charming rake she told me. Why couldn't he be fat and ugly.

But then again Peggy's perception of handsome differed from mine a great deal. Why she even thought our very extremely snobby noisy neighbor Mrs Bingley's goat tubby was cute.

I was to marry a scoundrel . A man who was lusty. A ravisher. An immoral man. A man who saw women as nothing more than a bed cloth to warm his bed at nights. But not me I refuse.

He was interested in condoning sinful acts with young, old maidens, any thing with a skirt. Use them and leave Peggy told me. She would not go into details about these sinful acts.

I was to sit at home be a good and faithful wife while he flaunted around with mistresses. The disrespect! At the bright side he would most likely be too occupied and so would leave me alone to wallow in solitude with my misery. I just had to accept what is. This is my life now. This is what I am.

I was distracted by a knock. A chubby lady appeared she looked around 50 or so with kind eyes.. Her eyes and lip corner lined with wrinkle. Her hair had began to grey but its original color was brunette. She had the looks of a kind grand mother I never had.

"I've come to take your measurement ma'am" she smiled

I nodded and forced a smiled trying to seem happy.

" I see the sadness you try to hide. For a soon to be bride I would expect you to be beaming instead of gloomy" Mrs Creed said to me.

I remained in my undergarments and my slip I did not want her to see my back.

"Am I that obvious?" I said as she took my measurements.

" No. But I am good at seeing behind walls most persons try so hard to hide" she smiled

I decided to stay silent and let her finish her job. Before she left I asked how would the dress be designed she told me not to worry she'd make sure it was perfect.

Even a dress from the man above could not make me forget. I hated Mr Rochester and I had yet to meet him.

The days flew by so quickly.

Monday it was raining.

Tuesday it was bleakly.

Wednesday it was windy.

Thursday it was over cast.

Before I knew it, it was Friday. My last day as Emily Campbell. The life I once knew would be forgotten. Perhaps I'd have a better one or perhaps worse. Whatever was my faith I accepted and would have to grow accustom to changes.

As I sat by my window and watched the sun set I began to cry. The hours of being a unmarried woman were slowly coming to an end. Maybe if I was lucky Mr Rochester could just turn out to be a good husband. But then he might be a abusive drunk. My tears rolled on to my lips as I fell into slumber.

Peggy is played by the lovely Mckenzie Foy always known as Renesmee from Twilight Saga

Mrs Creed played by Brenda Blethyn also know as Mrs Bennett from PRIDE & PREJUDICE

Dimitri (the evil step uncle) played by Sam Spruell

Mal-Bear🐻