(Part 2) Chapter 20: Secrets

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I jump back a little startled by it but I knew it was gonna happen. The guys all come walking in with flat faces. But I can see the anger swell up in the way they walk and I see a hint of sadness behind Gray's eyes.

And it breaks my heart.

What have I done?

This is all my fault.

My fake confused face falters for a moment and a hint of sadness shows.

"Don't play dumb, did you ever go out with Henry?" Gray quickly asks.

My face falls.

"Yeah, at one point. I broke up with him a long time ago though."

I don't know what to say.

I don't know what to do with my arms.

I don't know what expression to make. 

And I don't know how to build up my wall again before I hear the rest of this.

"He knew you were Tori too?" L.J. asks.

I bite my lip before nodding my head slightly.

"How could you not tell us that?! After everything?!" Mason says loudly at me, enough be considered screaming at me.

"I planned to, it's not like you guys were not going to know for forever. I was going to-"

"When?! When were you going to tell us? In a few years?!" A says as they stare me down.

"Of course not, it never seemed like a huge deal, he's nothing to me so I didn't see it as the biggest thing going on in my life-"

"Not a huge deal!? This explains why he bullied you, why he tried to rape you and all the other stuff he's done! We defended you from your mistakes! It wasn't a random target, you brought this on yourself!" Trever says angrily.

I flinch.

"I told you guys not too. I told you all to walk away and stay away from me," I say keeping my voice quieter while they scream at me.

"Yet you still stuck around, didn't even continue to try to stay away. You never cared about us getting hurt! You were using us! Acting like the victim!" L.J. retorts, balling up his fists.

"Using you? I took bullets for you guys. I lost my voice and went into a coma for you guys. I was in a wheelchair for a week because I couldn't stand from being so weak."

"And we protected you! We took bullets for you too and we were there for you when you were crying in your room alone! We were your friends when no one else was! We pulled you and your family from your flipped car and told you the truth. What other lies are you hiding?!" Mason screams.

My eyes burn from the tears I'm holding back. I have to bite my lip to keep it from quivering. I can't cry over this. It's not fair.

"I protected you, we talked until ungodly hours of the night and I trusted you while you lied to my face! I took hits for you! Black eyes, bloody noses, bruises, and cuts!" Alan screams.

"I'm sorry! Okay!? You think that I have done nothing for you all? I have tried my hardest to be a good friend and try to make you all happy! I'm sorry I didn't tell you all! I made a mistake and I'll own it but you all do not get to scream at me about being a horrible friend when I have done everything in my power to try to make you all happy! When I have tried protecting you! When I almost gave my life for you guys!"

"We didn't lie to you! You caused all of this! You obviously didn't try hard enough!"

"Guys, can you give us a minute?" Gray asks calmly making all the screaming coming from them stop.

They all send death glares my way as the walk out and slam the door behind them. Willow only gives me a sad look as she is the last one out and never said a word.

"Gray-"

"Stop. I opened up to you, told you my life. You told me a single part of yours. Then lied to me about the rest. You have lied before so I am not even sure when you are lying. I can't tell if when you say that you like me that you actually mean it...Beth, I think we need to just take a break."

"Gray, I do like you. Gray my crush was you! I only dated Henry so he would stop beating me up! The second he even wanted me to kiss him I pushed him away! Gray, I do like you! With everything in me! I never meant to hurt you."

I see red in his eyes as if he's about to cry.

"The sad part is I can't tell when your lying. And that sounds a lot like your lies. Goodbye Beth," he says walking towards the door.

Tears begin fall from my face as I watch him leave and close the door behind him.

His voice echoes in my head. I let out a frustrated cry as tears fall and I quickly swipe my arm across the desk, knocking a bunch of it down when I hear glass shatter. I look over at the stuff I knocked down.

A few books. And a picture frame with all of us in it from the summer. All of us smiling at the skate park. Along with a tiger stuffed animal and a purple elephant.

More tears fall. What have I done?

I lock my door and fall against it so that my back is up against it. More tears fall as I pick up the two stuffed animals and picture frame. I laugh through my tears at our dorky smiles. 

I quickly stand up and pull out a suitcase. I put everything connected to the guys or my mom inside. I zip it up and put it under my bed for the last time. I change into p.j.'s and lay in bed. 

I close my eyes and wipe away my tears till my sniffling stops. I take a few breaths and try to put everything that's happened this past year to the back of my head. And I begin to build my wall.

oOoOo The Next Morning oOoOo

I jolt up with sweat beads rolling down my face, making my hair wet from it. I breathe shakily and quickly get up, rushing to the bathroom to throw up. My night terrors came back last night and they are even worse than before. My whole body aches in pain.

One I finish losing my stomach I get dressed in jeans, converse and my black hoodie with '97' written on the back in the peeling off, not so much white. I grab my bag and wrestling stuff, heading out early.

I walk to school and notice the guys didn't park in the normal spot. I head inside figuring they just want to ignore me. I go to class like normal for all the guys to take up a new area in the front of the class. 

I act as if nothing between us ever happened and take a back corner seat more in the shadows of the classroom. I notice they glance over to me and I don't do anything but get out my homework. I turn it in quickly, grabbing out everything else an just put my head down

I cross my arms and rest my eyes, expecting to fall asleep. After a while I wake up to the bell ringing and put my things away, heading to next class. The rest of the day goes like this. For free time I do my homework and go to Coach.

And I walk in with my wrestling stuff.

"Hey, Beth, everything alright?"

"No actually. I needed to return this stuff, I can't wrestle anymore. Some stuff has come up."

"Oh, well that's too bad. I'm sorry. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah! Just some family stuff, I should be able to do sports next year."

"Alright, best of luck. If you need to talk I'm always here."

"Thanks, coach."

"No problem."

He takes my wrestling uniform and I walk off. 

I have my wall up and are still working on it. 

The day carries on. I stay after to help a teacher and she lets me go around the same time everyone in a sport is getting out. 

Willow isn't ignoring me luckily. She says hi every now and again in the halls and still sits next to me but never says a word. She did say she's gonna be in the hospital quite a bit more here lately but that was it. We don't really talk but I'll say something small about class, not daring to talk about what had happened.

I head out the back door and tense like usual, except I know I have no one to have my back. As thoughts flow through my head as I go through the motions, I am yanked to the ground.

My head hits the ground hard. I let out a gasp in pain. I am quickly pulled up by the front of my shirt and a punch is soon sent into my face making blood run from my nose. I look to see Henry and his group. I just let the beating happen and play limp, not really caring what they do at this point. Henry just watches.

Once they stop and walk off I stand up, limping on one leg as blood runs down my face. I wipe it away with my sleeve and grab my bag as I begin to limp. The back doors soon open again and familiar voices fill the air. Once they turn to go the direction I am, they stop talking.

I ignore them and start trying to walk normally making searing pain shoot up my leg and I have to bite my tongue to keep myself from wincing out loud. Tears form in my eyes but moving my face hurts at this point. 

They speed up and walk past me, Mason hitting my shoulder and I wince, unable to stop it from coming out. They continue walking faster and Henry soon comes up to my side.

"So you, me, Friday night?"

"I'd rather cut out my spine then have to deal with you for more than five minutes."

"Ouch. That hurt."

"That's the point, now leave me alone."

"Oh, come on, it's not like anyone's holding you back."

I stop dead in my tracks.

"Leave me the (bleep) alone. I never liked you, never will. Leave me-"

Before I can finish he glances to the others not far ahead of us and back to me and pushes my head into his, forcing me to kiss him. I quickly try to knee him but he dodges it so I deliver a punch and push him off of me.

He chuckles.

I say nothing and storm off. 

"Bethy! Come on!"

I quickly storm through the guys who were ahead of us and hit shoulders as hard as I can with Mason and A as I storm away making them almost trip.

"Hey!"

I am quick to give them the middle finger as I storm away. 

"Don't be like that! Come back here!" Henry calls after me.

I quickly show both my middle fingers behind me as I walk off, my leg dying while I do so but I don't care

I make it to my house and sit on my bed with backpack and shoes still on. I turn to my mirror and see bruises littering my face along with a black eye, bloody nose, and swollen lip. After this past year, nothing really changed, has it?

oOoOo Half Month Later oOoOo 

It's all the same. Everyday. The guys ignore me. I fall asleep in class. Maintain my grades. Henry beats me up then hits on me. And I go home to sit on my laptop. Every day.

I just wish they would listen to my point of view instead of ignoring me like I don't even exist! I should stop worrying and thinking about them though. They don't worry or care about me. Why should I about them?

This is why I didn't want to take down my wall. I knew I could get hurt and all those feelings would come back. Like opening pandora's box. Now everything good that came with it is gone and left fast and I'm left feeling like a piece of garbage. Which isn't too far off I guess.

The guys told Leo too. And he and I aren't really on speaking terms. And I have just gone mute. Unless I need to talk, I won't.

My only friends are acting like we never met and I don't exist and my boyfr-... Ex-boyfriend, the only one I have ever felt okay around, the only one I ever actually liked, had broken up with me. 

And my fears are real now. 

I can't re-build that wall.

~~~~~

Author's Note:

 Note to self, readers get angry over cliffhangers, add more.

Hello, my dear readers! So do you all remember that poll I had made since Girl In The Hoodie was ending soon? A few people said Girl In The Hoodie 2, a lot messaged me saying Girl In The Hoodie 2, so I present to you, Girl In The Hoodie 2.

(Prolog coming soon)

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