I look at him for a moment longer.

"Go ahead," I say gently.

"I had, um."

I can tell this is something that's bothering him. And I can't help but feel a pit in my stomach for him. It's all happening so quickly but with how he's acting, I'm guessing he played this out in his head a few times and just wants to get it over with.

"I did go to juvie. My dad, he wasn't a good guy. It was never my mom's choice and she ended up having two kids from it. He had beaten her in front of us. Me and my younger brother. Whenever she tried to get out he would threaten to hurt us. So she had stayed."

I watch his fists tighten and his jaw set.

"She took hits from him and acted all strong like she could take it just to make us feel better. He had- he had done drugs in front of us and would at times force us to try them when my mom would try to stop him, he would beat her."

I grab his hand and he looks at my hand wrapped around his and I see a small amount of relief fill his face but it disappears just as quick as it came.

"At one point I stepped in to stop him, a kid still. He just threw me to the side like it was nothing. Then my brother had called 911."

He takes a sharp inhale.

"Saved my mom's life. He was thrown in jail and we grew up having struggles still. Just to keep our house," he says and I feel him slightly squeeze my hand.

I can feel his heartbeat through his fingers. He looks back down and away from our hands.

"He had later gotten out and just a week after he did, he had shown back up. I came home from getting groceries and it was like nothing changed, he was there and threw a beer bottle at her head. And I was tired of being so useless, I-"

I can hear the pain in his voice and I see tears cloud his eyes. 

"I had snapped. And I just seemed to black out. Next thing I knew I was on top of him and there was blood all over his face and my hands and police were pulling me off of him-" I can see the worry in his eyes and I watch a tear drop onto his lap.

My heart cracks as I wait for him to continue.

"I got sent to juvie and he got sent back to jail. After I got out of course all the guys were waiting for me. I had gotten into drugs and alcohol. I dragged the guys down with me. Later we had gotten out of it for the most part. Now here I am."

He finally looks up at me. I see him waiting for me to say something. To somehow be able to relate, or open up to him. He just watches me with worried eyes.

He just told his entire story to me and I can't do the same. My throat forbids me to say anything. I see in his eyes that he is waiting for me to tell him mine. All I can do is look at him.

I squeeze his hand tighter before I wrap my arms around him gently. He hugs me back and my ability not being able to talk makes me angry. I hug him tighter which I can tell surprises him and I feel another teardrop on my shoulder. I soon let go of him and he does the same to me. 

He looks at me, waiting for me to say something but I can't. I tried telling Alan and almost broke into just a mess of tears. I almost destroyed my wall, my dam,  letting that defenseless and helpless girl emerge.

That helpless girl I had buried and locked away.

That wall was built quick and steady to protect myself. To keep everyone from getting too close. But I'm afraid trying to tell what happened before that wall happened will break it. Destroy the shell I have around myself. And I'm afraid of getting hurt. And not being able to rebuild it like it is now.

They have already made me able to open up so much more then I have before and be able to trust all of them. But that wall is still there.

I watch disappointment cross his face. I watch him nod slightly.

"I just wanted you to know you could trust me, and I'll, uh, see you tomorrow," he whispers out, giving me a hopeless smile.

His weight on the bed disappears making me miss him already. I watch him walk out. 

I stare at the door and I suddenly feel a tear slip from my eyes and go down my cheek but I just continue to stare at the door. Remembering that disappointed face he gave me as he walked out. 

That hopeless smile that is the exact opposite of the usual smirk he carries. I feel that tear hit my hand. 

Shoot.

My wall is breaking.

I quickly wipe away the tears path and take a deep breath. But his face crosses my mind again. And I make a slit moment decision. Forget this wall.

I quickly get up and race out my room, almost falling down the stairs as I run down and see Gray at the front door, sliding on his jacket. He turns to me with a puzzled look.

"Gray-"

Just force the words out! It's not that hard! If he can open up like that why can't you!?

"Don't go yet," I say giving a hopeless sort of look.

My wall just fell.

He nods his head and puts his jacket back down, walking over to me. Emotions flood me, ones I haven't felt since the night of the car accident. All the ones I feared so much. I feel like I'm suffocating in a fire.

We both walk back to my room and take the same spots as before.

"What is it?" He asks with a concerned voice rather than a cold one which calms my nerves but they go cold soon again.

"That night. The one of the car accident. I was coming home from the beach with my family," I start, looking at him.

I quickly realize why he didn't look at me. I quickly look down from him, not wanting to see what he thinks of me as I told it.

"We were on the highway, I was wide awake in p.j.'s and listening in on my parent's conversation. My mom was dressed nicely and so was my dad and we were going all around the boardwalk. I had gotten a keychain bracelet from it."

Tears form in my eyes and drop as that wall had kept this from me but now? It's consuming me.

Gray interlaces his fingers with mine and I let a small smile at him come out.

"We came to a stop light and we got hit from behind. Then got hit again from the side by drunk drivers that they never found. I watched them die in front of me as they screamed for the last time and I had let out a scream before everything went black," my voice cracks.

I don't know if I can continue but I already broke my wall. It would be a waste to stop now.

"When I woke up I was being pulled from the upsidedown car. I remember being numb and in a daze till I saw my parents in black bags. I was put on a stretcher and strapped down with a mask over my face."

Gray scoots closer to me and grips my hand tighter.

"When I had seen my parents I broke and cried hysterically till they put me to sleep. When I woke up, I couldn't feel my right arm. The door bent in and almost took my arm. I still have a scar from it and I was put into an orphanage," I say as I break and tears fall down my face, unable to stop them.

Gray puts an arm around my shoulders. My bottom lip quivers and I have to bite it to keep it still when I'm not talking.

"That's when kids would pick on me for it so I covered up my scars and built a wall. I would fight often for myself. Till I got tired of being called names by adults and going from house to house. I stopped fighting for myself. Till I got into street fighting," I say inhaling sharply.

"Then all of you guys came in and you were a huge flirt and I don't know. I haven't had my guard down as much as when you guys had come in. I had Willow and Alan but once you had stood up for me like that, no one had ever done that and now I'm rambling."

I stop there. I quickly wipe away my tears and use all my strength to force the rest down. I continue to look down.

"I don't know what to say," he admits.

"Say you don't think less of me, that you don't see me as a piece of nothing," I plead tearfully.

All my life that's all most people have thought of me when they know my past. They look at me differently. I just want one person who knows my entire side of the story to just not...not want to leave me and treat me like a piece of trash.

He pulls his arm from around my shoulders and put's his hand under my chin and lifts my head to face him. He quickly brings his face close to mine as if he was about to kiss me. 

And I don't pull away.

 I instead close the distance and bring my lips to his.

He doesn't pull away from me but instead kisses me back, not forcing me too or making me feel like I need to kiss him back like any other kiss I have ever had. He and I keep our hands interlaced.

My heart is beating like crazy as if at any moment it could jump from my chest but I have never felt calmer then right now. He squeezes my hand tighter and turns to better face me.

We soon pull apart and our foreheads rest against each other as we breathlessly look at one another.

"Beth, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Please don't apologize. I'm the one who kissed you, I should be the one apologizing-"

Before I can finish and pull my head away from his, he quickly brings his lips to mine again. I don't pull away but just kiss him back letting that feeling from before, fill me.

We soon both back off.

"Now we're even," he says with a smile as he moves his hand out from under my chin.

I smile back at him.

"Guess it's my turn to say something about you, huh?"

I look up at him confused.

"When I had first seen you, I hadn't seen a girl as beautiful and smart as you. I had never seen someone who could walk with confidence knowing people have it out for her."

I can tell pink crosses my face.

"Even as I got to better know you, I knew I would take every hit for you, because Beth, I like you. I'm falling for that girl in the hoodie."

My smile drops into a small, in shock, hopeful one.

"I don't know what to say," I admit, chuckling slightly as I look at him.

"Just say you'll be mine," he whispers tucking stray hairs behind my ear.

I look at him as he waits for my answer with a slight hint of anticipation and almost fear.

"Yes."

He quickly presses his lips to mine again. His hand goes to my back and he keeps it behind my shoulder. I bring my free hand to behind his neck as our other hands stay interlaced together. I kiss him back until we both are so out of breath we separate and the world finally starts to spin again.

"Will you stay the night?" I ask in a soft whisper, still staring into those blue/green eyes of his as they look back to me. I haven't seen them this way before.

"Is that your way of getting me in bed?"

"And if it is?"

"Then I'd say your copying my humor," he says with a chuckle.

We both stand up and he takes the bay window like bed and I hand him a blanket before going back to my tiny bed.

He reaches over and turns off the lamps that used to light up the entire room. Leaving us is a soft darkness. 

And for the first time, in more than ten years, I actually feel okay. I am truly and deeply happy. How did this happen?

I smile slightly as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep with the one person who could break my wall and keep me from being consumed by it.

~~~~~

Author's Note (EXTREMELY IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ):

 I can't tell if I'm crying because I have such an emotional attachment to my creation or because it's 2:10 in the morning. Well my dear, loving readers. The ship has sailed and...*sniff* *sniff*...This is the end. The final chapter. The last we will see of Beth. I love you all it has been a great pleasure to write this for you all. This is truly my greatest work. So I'll make this short. Just kidding. Yeah, like I'm gonna just leave it there. I just like reading your reactions in the comment section! (P.s. Don't forget to vote and comment on whatever you want, I love reading what you all have to say!)

Seriously thank you all for your nice comments! I can never stop smiling whenever I read them.

On Another note, I want to know, WHAT THE GUMMYBEAR JELLYFISH WITH SPRINKLES YOU GUYS LIKE TO READ! Romance, kidnapping, horror, mystery, historical fiction (like dragons), superheroes, adventure, a Girl In The Hoodie 2.

 What makes your clock tick?