My smile drops into a half-hearted smirk. I shrug my shoulders.

"Is it because you know who we are? Or because of your afraid of what we will think if we recognize you?"

I bite my bottom lip.

 Honestly, it's because of what everyone will think. But with me getting closer to them as myself and as Tori, I don't want to lose them. I haven't had a friend since, ever, really. If they find out I am Beth, and I have lied to them this whole time, ditched them to go fight, played their friend as both Tori and Beth...I will lose them. And for all I know, everyone in the school will find out and will try to start stuff, or fear me or I could be taken from my dad. I don't want to start over again. I can't go through that again. If I stopped hanging out with them they will ask why and just figure it out anyway. I don't know how to get out of this.

I look at them. They fold their arms and look at me.

"I have to go," I say turning to run away from this but I quickly stop in my tracks as I feel fingers wrap around my wrist. 

I turn to see Mason looking at me with his hand around my wrist. I quickly pull away from him and race off.

"Tori!"

"Really?"

I race into the dressing room to get away. The girls that were obviously just talking about me, stop. It goes quiet. They all look into their lockers, shunning me. I go to my locker and quickly change, packing up everything inside and shoving it into my bag. I zip it up quickly and slam my locker shut. Why are they taking such an effect on me? I grab my whiteboard off the locker and sling the bag over my shoulder. They are now all watching me. I don't care, shun me all you want, see if I care. As I walk out, I throw my whiteboard into the trash making it fall over as I walk out. Not planning on coming back in here or to street fighting for a day or two. I storm off, obviously upset. 

I don't know why they are affecting me like this! No one has ever been able to do that before. It's scaring me. I...I don't know what to do. I change into a new hoodie as I walk and take deep breaths trying to stop looking like a maniac as I walk.

I soon make it home and see my dads car in the driveway. I am not going to change just because of these guys. Just gonna have to suck it up for awhile. I take a breath and find my old self, bringing her to the surface. Feels like a mask instead of me though. And that worries me. I put on smiling face and walk in.

 My dad is on the couch with Jenny and he has a drink in his hands. I walk past them as Jenny smiles at me and I smile back, taking her by surprise. I fill a cup of water and grab a box of saltine crackers, putting it in my other hand. I walk back over to him and put the crackers next to him and he looks to me. I pull the beer from his hand and put the water in front of him.

"Dad, what would mom think?"

He is taken back by my words.

"She is looking out for you but you are just making that harder for her. She deserves better, for her dad, throw out the beer bottles." I say it quietly and carefully, putting my hand on his.

He looks at me and I watch his eyes become glassy and red. He takes the water and I smile at him, walking off with the bottle and throwing away the nasty smelling liquid. 

"You remind me of her, you know? She was always looking out for me."

 I smile.

"Never let me drink, telling me what to do, bringing up things from the past to make me feel bad and always being so b*&^%$."

My smile drops. I look around. That was the only beer he had and his speech is not slurred. Is he actually drunk or is everything he is saying true?

"Jenny and I have been talking as well. We have decided it would be best if we start our relationship fresh. So child services will be here in the morning, don't worry about going to school for the rest of the week."

My eyes go wide and my mouth drops. I feel my blood go cold and my vision turns blurry. I feel dizzy and I rest my elbows on the table and put my head into my hands.

"Dad, are you drunk?"

"It's Sir. now. No, I am not drunk. I can't start a relationship when I have a kid with someone else who's dead. They will be here at ten so pack up your stuff."

My breath is gone and my heart beats out of my chest. Am I dreaming? Is this real? I feel like this isn't reality. Tears threaten to burst but I keep them from flooding my cheeks. I cover my mouth to keep my hopeless and helpless sounds of fear and sadness from escaping. My stomach makes it so that I feel like I could throw up at any second by putting itself in countless knots that makes me want to cry even more.

"You're not kidding are you?" I say swallowing hard to keep my voice from breaking.

"Go pack your bags."

I run to my room and slam the door behind me. I...I stopped being who I was for you. I tried so hard, I really did. I worked so hard to do better and keep this from happening. Where did I go wrong? What did I do? Just tell me what I did wrong! I'm sorry I don't know what I did that was so wrong! 

I slide down on my butt with my back to the door and refuse to cry but it makes me dizzy and I can't breathe. I feel like I'm drowning. I crawl over to my bed and reach under, pulling out two huge green suitcases, covered in dust. Ones I never thought I would have to see again.

 I run my hands over them and open the small pocket in the front. Filled with notes from others saying goodbye. No matter who you were, even if you were getting in fights or bullied, as long as you weren't the bully, everyone would say goodbye. I had a few people I would fight for but never really best friends. I look at all the notes and keep them there. I nicely fold my clothes into one, including my shoes and p.js. All my clothes fit inside with some extra space. They are huge suitcases. I stick a toothbrush, some toothpaste, a hairbrush and some other stuff in there, hiding it under my clothes. It is finally full. 

I grab my other one and put a purple elephant inside. I put it in as carefully as possible. I smile as I see it's cute trunk and eyes that my mom loved so much. I put my phones in the back, hidden pocket and put my boxing bag inside as well. I grab a few blankets and pillows, stuffing them inside. I grab a few hand wraps that I like best and put them inside as well. I also manage to fit my backpack inside as well. I then hide about a thousand dollars I earned from fighting and put it with my phones. I zip it up. I place them on the ground and get out a pair of P.J.'s.

I go out and go to the bathroom. I undo my hair and get undressed, getting in the shower. Turning it to hot. I wince as the hot water runs over my cuts from fighting and hit's my face. But I breathe deeply and I finally feels like I can breathe. I am safe for now. Nothing can happen right now. And that's all I want right now. I run my fingers through my hair and stay in the shower for at least an hour before finally getting out as the water starts to become cold. 

I dry off and get out with the towel wrapped around me. I walk over to the mirror and wipe the fog off to see my chest, arms and face red from the hot water. I finish and clean up after myself. Brushing my hair before getting out. A pair of gym shorts and a tank-top is my p.j's. I go to my room and put my clothes I wore before into my bag before curling into a ball and laying on them. 

I don't want to sleep in the house of someone who doesn't like me and couldn't care less if I was dead. So I am not about to sleep in that bed. I would rather leave, but I can't. There would be a search and just make me look worse. I look into the bag's lid and close my eyes. Just wanting this to a dream. And end.

Although it isn't. My alarm rings and I get up without hesitation. I walk over to the alarm clock.

Oh, alarm clock. We have been through so many mornings where you don't ring and let me be late, or that time I almost broke you, or the hundreds of times I almost smashed you with a hammer. Even all the times where I get up just to stop the screaming banshee inside you who is scratching nails on a chalkboard everytime she screams. I will miss you the least out of all my possessions. As I am choosing to leave you behind. Behave, don't forget to scream at those two at three Am! I smile as I set it to go off at three Am at full volume with a lock code you need to enter to turn it off. I pat the top of it and look at the time. Nine-thirty AM. 

I then stuff a bracelet that I used to always wear into my back pocket. It was a gift from my mom. Not my most important one but one that was still close to me. I had to stop wearing it when the bullys would start stealing my things.

I get dressed in a pair of ripped jeans with a black shirt and that coat that Gray gave to me. I flip my hair all on to one side and slide on a pair of converse. I go out and make grilled cheese as quickly as possible. Then I hear it.

"Jenny? You making breakfast?" I hear him call from the bathroom.

I quickly finish and put everything away, grabbing my food and taking a bite out of one piece, sitting at the table. I watch him come in and look at me. 

"Can I have half?"

I quickly lick one side of both pieces, making it seem much less appealing.

"Look, this was the only way."

I ignore him and continue to eat my last meal here. 

"Your gonna ignore me?"

I continue to eat my food acting as if he isn't screaming in my ear. He takes a seat next to me and I scoot further away from him. 

"Bethany!"

I continue to ignore him till he slaps the grilled cheese from my hands and throws it with the plate off the table, making it all fall and break as it hits the ground. I lick my fingers and get up, walking around him to my room and grab my bags. I pick them up in both hands by the handle. So. Heavy. I continue to walk out though. I past by Jenny and hit her with my bag by 'accident'.

"Hey!"

I continue to walk.

"Bethany!"

I open the door and walk out, slamming it behind me. I look over and see the foster care people pull up. Then I see the guys there, all looking at me with confused and shocked looks. I drop the handles of the suitcases and they lock. I walk down the driveway as Andrew comes up to me. He takes a bag from me and we walk down. I watch the guys come out of their cars and walk over as Andrew pops the trunk to put my bags inside. 

"Can I say goodbye really quick?"

"You know the cycle."

"Thanks, Andrew."

I walk over to them as they look to me as we walk in front of the black car.

"What's going on?" Gray asks upset and confused at the situation.

I give them a hopeless smile.

"Going into foster care," I say sliding off Grays jacket and handing it to him.

He doesn't take it.

"What do you mean? This a joke?" Mason says crossing his arms.

"Wish it was. But it's not. I am not really sure when exactly I will go back to school, or what school so this is goodbye for now."

"Keep the jacket princess."

I smile at him and L.J. quickly pulls me into a tight hug. The others join in, squeezing me to death but I don't care. 

"Thanks for the awesome last few days guys."

I got a feeling this is the best way to end stuff between us but I wish it could be better.

"Anytime."

"We will see you again. Don't worry, it's not that big of a town."

We quickly disperse.

"Time to go Beth."

"Be right there." 

I pull something from my pocket and toss it to Gray as I walk off. I almost want to take it back but I choose that it would be better with them.

"Bye guys," I say as I go into the passenger's seat and Andrew starts the car.

We drive off and I roll down my window, waving them goodbye and they wave back as we drive away.

"Alright, back in the car."

I smirk as I come back in.

"No fight's, I'm impressed."

"Yeah, no fights."