For the third night in a row, I wake up with sweat coating my entire body. My heavy breaths fill the bedroom, taking away the eerie silence.

    Four days remain until Dax's deadline and I'm sure he will be coming for me.  I still have no idea how to get the money to repay him, since my father hasn't been at all helpful in that department. School and friends have been ignored the past couple days since break ended, neither of them seeming to matter much right now with everything I had to worry about.

    I lay back down on the bed and let my breathing even out. My heart's still racing at an unnatural rate. That night on the rooftop was pieced back together in my sleep, but instead of me blacking out and ending up in the hospital, my torture felt to have continued for hours on end.

    Dax wasn't even the worst part of the night - a separate dream haunted me before I woke up. A fearful Sabrina cried desperately for help in the background, clawing at a brick wall in an attempt to get to get away from someone who struck fear into her.

    It didn't take long for me to figure out that it wasn't the monster I thought it would be, but a different monster all together.

    Me.

    Every muscle in my body shivers at the recollection of what the second nightmare held. Nothing was scarier to me than becoming the very person I swore I'd never be like. I've already hurt Sabrina, and I made her promise not to tell anyone - just like my father would have done.

    The palms of my hands rub my eyes. No, I'm not him, but if I continue down the path I'm on I could very well become him.

    Sleep still clouds my mind, but I force myself to stay awake. I've had enough nightmares for one night.

    All the while my body tells me to get a full night's rest, my mind propels me on a different path. I grudgingly leave my bed, and head for the bathroom. After shedding my clothes, I find myself standing under a rush of cold water - my senses freeze under the drops pelting on my sweat-covered skin. The shock of the sudden chill no longer bothers me, and I find myself calming down.

    I don't know for how long I was under the rushing water, but enough to turn my fingers to prunes, and my body to be full of a new energy. It's about five in the morning, but sleep is now the farthest from my mind.

    Right now, with the balance of my life hanging by a string, the only thing I can think about is seeing Sabrina again. The past couple days of school were torture. Both days I tried to talk to her, but I could never catch her alone. Amber has beefed up her security detail in the friend department and alone time was one hundred percent guaranteed a no-go.

    My hands tighten into fists. That bitch has gotten in my way one too many times, but I can't do anything about it. Not if I want to win Sabrina back, that is.

    When the terror of the nightmare is all washed away, I shut off the water and grab the towel that's hanging over the shower door. After wrapping it around my waist, I open the shower doors and examine myself in the mirror. Almost all signs of the former brawl between Whittney and I have vanished - only a faint blue path underlines my right eye.

    I brush my hand against my jaw, my fingers catching the course hairs I've overlooked for the past week or so since the breakup. The look gives me a bit of a rougher edge, so I decide to leave it be for now.

    The next few hours before school go by too fast since it's the last place I want to be right now. Before I even think of the idea to just stay home, I'm already in the school parking lot. With a large sigh, I take the keys out of the ignition and slam the car door behind me. I close the distance between me and the building slowly - mentally preparing myself for the day ahead. Another day I didn't feel worth pursuing.

    I saunter over to my locker, trying to get through at least the first period without any trouble. Apparently trouble just loves to appear at the wrong moments, because Charlette rushes towards me; more concern is in her eyes than I've ever seen. In fact, they almost look glazed over, as if she'd been crying.

    She stops in front of me, her whole body is in an agonizing frenzy.

    "Whoa, Char! Calm down." I grab hold of her shoulders reassuringly. "What is it? What's wrong?"

    "It's Harry."

    My eyes widen. "What about Harry?"

    "That bastard, he told everyone! He told everyone about him and how Harry-" Her voice is trembling so much that her words slur together.

    "Wait, Charlette. Slow down!" I try to calm her down, but she doesn't. "Who told everyone about what?!"

    Charlette's eyes start to water. "Whittney told everyone. About Harry being-" She takes a deep breath - her hand flies up to her mouth to stop herself from whimpering. "And now he's, now he's gone."

    "Gone?! What do you mean gone?"

    "All he needed was one penis joke from Rodney and he ran out of the school doors faster than I could stop him. I don't know where he went." Tears roll down her cheeks as I pull her to me.

    I gently rub her back in a comforting fashion - the way I used to when we were closer and she was hurting. "Everything will be okay. I know where he'd go. I'll find him, I promise."

    When I try to leave, her hold on my tightens for a second before she lets go. She smiles lightly up at me and says: "Thank you, Austin. Really."

    "You don't need to thank me. I owe it to you - the both of you." Everything that I've done to the people that mean so much to me hurt my chances of being the person I want to be. It was time to step up and be a man, and not in the way my father always saw it, but in the way I know how a man is supposed to act.

    Before I turn on my heel to go find my best friend, I return a smile in Charlette's direction.

    If I know Harry as much as I think I do, he will be hiding out in his usual spot. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far off school grounds to track him down. Rodney and Cole try to get my attention when I walk by them, but I just walk right passed without a second glance. There's nothing they can say to me right now after causing Harry to run away the way he did.

    I cross through the parking lot to get to my destination. When I swing open the door, a blast of warmth and chlorine mix in with the chill and fresh air from outside. My gaze passes over the whole pool area, and when I see him with his head in his hands, I know I came to the right place.

    For a second my face lights up, but once his condition fully registers, my smile is replaced with a distressed look. The guy who used to be my best friend is doubled over, tears escaping one after another. At first, I don't know if I should go over there, given our last conversation, but I push against the will to turn and run. I promised myself I would be a better friend, and that isn't running away when things get tough.

    Harry doesn't notice me since he's pulled himself into his own little world. That, or he was trying to ignore me so that I'd go away. Either way, I'm not going to abandon him again.

    I finally reach the bleacher row he's made his nesting place, and sit down. A silence consumes the room with an awkward undertone, but I don't bail.

    "He gave me my phone back." Is the first thing he says. He wipes his eyes, overflowing with a sadness I'd only ever seen once - when I tore his heart to pieces after his secret was revealed. "Even made quite a show of it too while tossing it back to me. 'The answer is no,' he said to me, 'Austin will never love you. He likes girls, you disgusting faggot.'"

    My hands forms fists and I squeeze my eyes shut in anger. "He used me against you? But I thought you don't have feelings for me anymore."

    "I don't. I mean, at least I thought I didn't..." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I guess there will always be that part of me that still has feelings for you. Me and you, though. That'll never happen. You said it yourself. And I'm okay with that."

 "Harry-" I start, but he stops me with a hug.

    "Oh, god. What's wrong with me?" His voice wavers as he asks me this.

    "There's nothing wrong with you." I assure him before pulling away. "There's something wrong with Whittney. There's something wrong with anyone who thinks any differently of you because of this. You're just you, and there's nothing to be ashamed of."

    It's silent for a little while before Harry speaks again. "I thought you hated gay people like your dad."

    "I'm nothing like Andrew," I lie, but then I sigh, knowing Harry would catch me on it. "Oh, fuck."

    "What happened?"

    "I hurt Sabrina," I confess. Before Harry can scold me for what I did, I make an excuse. "It wasn't bad. There was no hitting involved, I swear. All I did was grab her wrist and I didn't know it hurt her that much until she was on the floor, sobbing like crazy. I-I didn't mean to hurt her."

    "This isn't your fault." His words shocked me, but I don't want to argue. "This is your dad's. He's the one who brought this on you. He's the one who is getting in the way of the good person we both know you are. Whether it's on the surface, or deep down, I know it's there."

    I shake my head, even though I didn't want to disagree - I want it to be anyone else's fault besides my own, but I know that it's mine.

    "No," I say, my voice trembling. "This is all on me. My father can throw as many punches as he wants, but I can't blame him for my actions. I hurt Sabrina. It was me who called her names and cheated on her. I've never taken responsibility for the things I've done, and it's about time that I do."

    Harry nods. "So, what now?"

    At first I think he's asking about what I'm going to do about Sabrina, but this isn't about me. "Well, for starters, I beat the shit out of anyone who tries to make fun of you for being gay."

    Harry lets out a chuckle, and then his face drops. "Wait, you aren't really going to do that, are you?"

    "For my best friend? I'll do anything. Just don't kiss me, or I'll have to murder you. I love you, Harry, but just . . . not in that way."

    He laughs again, seeming half okay with my 'threat'. "I know."

    Another silence falls upon us, and I look at the water that is still rippled from this morning's practice. "Do you ever miss it?"

    "What, swimming?" His smile vanishes. "A little."

    "Asthma is a bitch."

    "Tell me about it."

    I get up and look to Harry who is staring out onto the water displayed in front of him. "Are you coming?"

    "You go ahead. I think I'm going to have a swim."

    "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

    "Thanks for your concern, but yes. I'll be fine. I just can't swim competitively. Now go. You're the one with a class first period, remember?"

    With everything going on, I had forgotten completely about class. Since Harry is a Senior, he gets first period off sometimes. "Shit! I'll talk to you later. You're sure you're going to be okay?"

    "Yeah. I just have to clear my head."

    I'm almost to the door of the aquatic center when Harry calls my name.

    "Yeah?"

    "Go win your girl's heart back."

After a day that dragged on a lot longer than expected, 3 o'clock finally came along. Harry had made the right decision in never coming back - he was the talk of the school the whole entire day. Not one period went by when I didn't hear something about the first 'out' gay at Cromwell High.

    Whittney had been in only one class of mine, and the moment I sent one look at him, the satisfied smirk of triumph was wiped from his face. Judging from how our controntation ended the last time, he made the right choice in not showing his victory any further.

    Nothing could redeem him to me anymore after what he'd done today - what he has done in the past couple of weeks, even. The friend I thought I had in him is long gone, and I don't think he will ever find a place back into my life again.

    Since football season is over, I don't have to worry about either Sabrina and I having practice, and if I know anything about my ex, she'll be spending her Wednesday night at home. Most likely curling up to watch Netflix. And if I'm lucky, she won't have any friends over, giving her and me time to have the talk I promise we'd have.

    I get in the car and turn on the engine, the soft hum of the vehicle starts and I pull out of my parking spot.

    The whole ride there, I contemplate how the hell I'm going to make things right. How do you apologize for abusing your girlfriend? It was abuse, wasn't it? I hurt Sabrina - whether it was intentional, or not.

    I hurt my girlfriend the way my father hurts his wife.

    Thinking over what to do, an idea come to mind. I know gifts don't make up for what I did, so I cross that idea off in my mind. Flowers were technically not a gift, but more of a visual representation of an apology. And that's what I plan to do: I'm going to apologize like my life depended on it.

    In a way it did. If the past week had told me anything, it's that my life was pointless without Sabrina. She is the girl who can do no wrong - the girl who can save me from myself.

    After picking up the flowers, I speed the rest of the way to Sabrina's. A newfound eagerness dances through me as I pull into her driveway. The only car in the driveway is hers, meaning her parents weren't home - thank God. Knowing Troy, he was also not home. Probably hanging out with either Joey, or one of his other friends.

    Getting out of the car, a traumatizing thought occurs to me; this could be the last chance I have to win Sabrina back. This is not a chance I will take lightly.

    My heart beats so loud in my chest that it replaces the sound of my feet pounding on the pavement. The front door seems like an almost unattainable goal as I continue towards it, but eventually, I find myself on the porch, ready to ring the doorbell.

    Before my fingercan press the button, the door flies open. A wide-eyed Sabrina answers the door, her stature telling me just how uncomfortable my presence is for her.

    "Austin," she breathes. "You can't be here."

    I can tell she wants to slam the door in my face and never opens it again, but something stops her.

    "You can't do this to me." Her lower lip quivers, which she bites down on to stop it. "You can't just show up here with a whole bouquet of flowers, and aplogize like what happened was nothing. You need help."

    "I don't need help," I correct her. "I need you."

    "Don't," she warns when I try to take a step closer. "I don't want you near me. I'm not going to tell anyone, okay? So leave me alone."

    She tries to close the door, but I use my arm to stop it. When I force my way inside the house, at first she's terrified, but calms down when I take a step back.

    "I'm not going to hurt you." I promise. "Not anymore. I told you never again, and I mean it."

    "Oh yeah? Well, I don't believe you."

    "Can we not just talk about this?" I can tell she's about to shut down again, so I plead with her. "Sabrina, no. Come on, let me make it up to you."

    "A simple apology is not going to fix everything."

    I sigh. This isn't working, but if I push her too much, she turn from me again. I have to think fast, before I lose her forever.

    "I love you."

    Sabrina's face softens. "Y-you what?"

    "I'm in love with you, Sabrina Louise Williams." When I cautiously take a few steps forward, she doesn't back away. "I love you so much that life doesn't have any meaning without you."

    "Austin-"

    "You can't leave me, Rina." My eyes start to tear up as I reach for her hand. To my luck, she doesn't pull away. "Please don't leave me. Please forgive me for everthing I've done."

    Tears are now flowing freely down my cheeks. "I promise to never let my anger get the best of me again. Be my girlfriend again, and I swear that I will be the person you've always believed I could be."

    My arms wrap around her, my face tucked in the crook of her neck. "Please Rina, I'm so sorry."

    After what felt like forever, she finally gives in. I feel her arms secure themselves around my shaking form and hushes me reassuringly.

    "I'm sorry." I continue to whimper. The saying is almost on repeat, like a depressing broken record.

    "Shh," she says, rubbing my back. "It's okay. It's okay."

    I know things aren't okay, but her words make of reassurance mean everything to me. She means everything to me.

    When I lift my head up, I lean my forehead against hers. My tears haven't stopped, but I'm not shaking as much as I was before.

    "Hey," she whispers, her angelic voice trying to get my attention. My eyes open so that I can stare into hers, and she continues. "I love you too, Austin."

    My eyes widen in shock. How she could still love me after all I've done is beyond me.

    "Every ounce of sense is telling me to stay away, but no matter how much I try, I always find my way back to you." She lets out a heavy sigh and wipes a few tears from my cheeks. Her arms find their way around my neck and she pulls me close. "The answer is yes."

    I pull away fast, my eyes boring into hers. "What?"   

    "Yes," she repeats. "I will give you one more chance. One more chance to be the person you claim you are."

    Before I can get too excited, she says one more thing.

    "But, if you don't pull through, next time there will be nothing you can say or do to get me to come back to you." I can feel a protest bubbling up my throat, but she speaks again. "I just, I don't want to get hurt again."

    Now I'm not the only one crying.

    "Hey, hey." I cradle her head in my hands, making her meet my gaze. When I have her attention, I wipe her eyes. Every time she cries it breaks a new piece of me. "I promise you that I won't ever hurt you again. I am not my father, and I have no intention of becoming anything like him."

    Our eyes bore into each other, my gaze moving up and down from her eyes then to her lips again. A strong current ties the two of us together by something stronger than fate and we collide in a kiss - more passionate than any kiss I've ever experienced.

    Our tears mix in with each other as our mouths move together as one, but we don't care. If this kiss is for her what it is for me, it's a new beginning.

    It's a new start with the girl that can change me into a person worth loving.

***

To those of you who wanted Aubrina back together, you're welcome. This is personally one of my favorites I've ever written up to date so far, I think. Sorry that it took so long for me to update, but I have more time now, so hopefully lots of writing gets done from now on.

Please leave me some feedback about what you think of the chapter! Maybe even vote if you think the chapter is deserving. (: