12: Behind My Inattention

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"You suck at this game," Whittney said after he killed me, again.

It was Friday night, only a couple hours after yet another successful football game, and Harry, Whittney, and I were playing Halo. Whittney didn't like the game much, but I played it enough with Harry to get used to it. For once he didn't try to convince us to do the game he wanted to do instead which was, of course, Call of Duty.

That was my favorite game, but we always played it, so today it was Harry's choice.

"I'm sorry I don't spend hours on hours playing video games like you," I grunted, shooting at his player with a purple crystal gun. The name of it always seemed to escape me, I wasn't much of a follower on the whole storyline, or anything about the game for that matter.

"How is it fair that your screen can fit like ten of mine?" Whittney complained, making yet another one of his comments on the luxuries I had. Jealousy seemed to be in his tone a lot lately. It was usual for people to want the things I had every now and then, but there was always a point where they'd stop caring.

A few years back, I always had to deal with people who were only my friend because of what I was instead of who I was. The need to wean out the people who tried to use me for my money increased mostly after what Dax put me through.

Being only thirteen at the time, befriending Dax seemed like an honor. He was a few years older than me so of course I looked up to him. At first when I found out he wanted me to hang out with him, I didn't think he was being seriously. Older kids usually hated having someone younger around, but I didn't dare question it.

It didn't take too long before I realized I was way in over my head, but by then there was no going back.

"Well, for starters my dad actually works for a living," I shot back, finally giving him a reply.

"Fuck you," Whittney huffed out of annoyance. "So he'd rather sit on the couch and smoke pot and drink beers all day rather than actually support his family. Not like I can do anything about it."

Only the sound of the game was going around the room, an awkward lack of conversation clouding the room.

Harry was the first one to break the silence after laughing at the demise of Whittney's player. "I guess Austin's not the only one who sucks at this game." He continued to laugh until Whittney elbowed him in the side. "Ow! Just because I'm a Halo prodigy doesn't mean you have to get all physical on me now."

"So what's going on with Sabrina?" If Whittney noticed something was up who knows how many other people noticed.

Ever since she went home on Sunday night, Sabrina and I hadn't talked much. It was the idea that if I gave her some space to deal with the shocking news I told her. Something like that couldn't just be accepted overnight. The truth would have been unsettling for anyone to hear, since it was like the burden of carrying around an anvil that weighed a ton.

The whole situation was a bit overwhelming to take in, and I knew for sure she was suffering in thinking about what the right thing to do was. A part of her so clearly wanted to tell someone about the news she learned, but then the other part probably feared I'd hate her if she did.

I could never hate her, but I could never forgive her either.

"Nothing's going on," I assured them, noticing Harry was no suddenly fully interested. He always cared so much about everything that was going on in my life, which I really appreciated since not many people did care. It was rare to have a friend that loyal. "She's just recently gotten some news and needs some space to figure things out."

"What kind of news?" Whittney pried, stretching in the gaming chair. He let out a strain of curses when Harry killed his character for maybe the hundredth time.

"Personal stuff."

"Whoa, she's not pregnant, is she?"

Pissed that he'd expect the worst, I took it out on him by shooting him repeatedly until he lay dead on the grass. He glared at me while I sent the same look back.

"She's not," I growled, getting into a Warthog while on the hunt for Harry. "Just . . . reasons."

Whittney chuckled, "I can always count on you for your straight answers."

I rolled my eyes. It was annoying that he was so good at detecting bullshit.

Leading my avatar to a bunker, I switched my rocket launcher for a glowing sword. For some reason this weapon was always my favorite. There was something almost satisfying about killing at close range. Right when I was about to grab it, Whittney's avatar stabs me in the back and my guy falls to the ground.

"Agh!" I groan while letting my arms fall limply at my sides. "Who wants to do something else?"

"Something else?" Harry said, clearly questioning my sanity at the moment. "We've only been playing for an hour!"

I shook my head as I chuckled. "You have an unhealthy obsession."

"More than one," he replied hesitantly, almost as if there was a double meaning. Clearing his throat, he turned back to the game for a second. "Just one more kill."

"Okay that sounds fai-" Whittney couldn't even get the words out before his character was blown to bits, with a very amused Harry grinning at the screen from behind him.

"Done!" He chimed happily, leaving Whittney shocked for a moment before going on about how he was distracted, and it didn't count. Harry, of course, just sarcastically agreed with him, not really being swayed.

"Whatever," he grunted, finally admitting his obvious defeat. Taking out a cigarette, he lit it and took in a deep breath.

"Really?" I put the controller down before crossing my arms over my chest. "In my basement? If my father catches you-"

"He's not here," Whittney reminded me. "Remember?"

Andrew was at another business meeting this weekend. He had been going to them a lot lately so I had barely seen him. I couldn't complain, I loved it when he was gone. The whole house was all to myself since Sandra went with him this time, probably just for show. Giving the illusion of being the caring husband Andrew wanted the public to believe he was helped him win some brownie points.

When Whittney started waving his cigarette around in the air, I knew he was taunting me. I tried to ignore his pompous behavior the best I could, but sometimes he was just unbearable. There were so many things he did that caused me nothing but trouble.

Something I learned about friends like that was that most of the time they weren't worth the breath you used to try to convince them to change. I wanted to change him though. For some reason I wanted to help him like Sabrina helped me. Doing something as simple as removing drugs from your life really changed everything, especially your outlook on it.

Having a life like mine, it was a struggle everyday to not go back to the world of poison filled dreams.

Harry took the cig from Whittney's mouth and took a drag himself. A fit of coughs escaped him as he choked.

"Are you sure you're okay to be smoking?" I asked, knowing his condition.

"I have asthma, not cancer," he supplied. "I'll be fine."

I wasn't really sure what the effect smoking had on people with asthma, but I knew it couldn't be good.

Whittney grabbed his cigarette back and finished it off, but not before offering me some. I shook my head. Trying to quit was harder than I thought it would be. It took months after Sabrina and I started dating for me to start my attempt of stopping, but eventually, my need for it was getting less and less.

Luckily, I never got rid of the ashtray on the coffee table, because right when Whittney was done, that was exactly where he put it.

"So it's almost midnight," Harry pointed out. "Are we still watching Cabin in the Woods, or not?"

"As long as you don't end up grabbing for me at every little jump scare, then yes," Whittney teased him. Harry wasn't the best with scary movies. He loved them, but they scared him more than he cared to admit.

I was the complete opposite. Horror movies did nothing to me. No matter how terrifying reviewers claimed the movie to be, or how gory the imagery, nothing could scare me. Taking away that detail, I loved horror movies. They had a mixture of repetitions that were amusing to pinpoint. It was ridiculous how stereotypical they all were.

That was exactly why I recommended Cabin in the Woods for our movie night. At first when you go into it, you think it's just another movie, trying to prove to you that Hollywood can finally be scary. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the movie was completely different than what I thought it would be.

When the name title of the film suddenly appeared with a shrill noise in the background, Harry already jumped. I chuckled and we continued to watch. By the elevator scene, I was bursting out laughing. Soon Whittney joined me, but Harry just looked at the screen like he was completely shocked.

"What is this movie?" He questioned, not getting the point.

"It's obviously a comedy satire representing all of the cliches of the horror genre," Whittney explained in a 'duh' tone.

I turned towards Whittney for a second who just gave me a shrug and continued watching. Sometimes I thought that he was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. Even though he didn't always make the best decisions, I never really heard anything negative about him and school. He may not have ever been an A plus student, but he was very perceptive.

"Are you serious?" Harry threw his arms up in defeat. "I've been jumping like crazy for a comedy?" When I started laughing my ass off, he glared at the screen while crossing his arms like a five year old. "I hate you guys."

Whittney now joined in on the laughing spree, and when Harry finally had enough, he smacked us both with his pillow. "That's for freaking me out over nothing."

When the movie was finally over, it was almost two in the morning. We all worked together to clear the way so the the couch could fold out. I grabbed one side and Whittney grabbed the other while we pulled the bed portion from under the cushions.

It was big enough to fit the three of us. In fact, it was possible to add a couple other people to join us too. I didn't know why it was so big, but it didn't matter.

Soon everything was set up and we were all ready for bed. Like usual, I slept in the middle while Harry slept on my left, and Whittney on my right. The tv was still on, now playing a different movie. Since Harry had trouble falling asleep without something playing in the background, we always let him put something in before bed.

During the summers, when Harry and I spent most of our time together, I got so used to having something playing that I couldn't go to sleep without it either. Luckily I got out of that phase not too long after school started.

Some kind of Anime was flashing on the screen. I was never really one for animation, but Harry seemed to enjoy it a lot, so I suffered through it. Most of the time I liked movies about sports a lot, or comedies, especially with Seth Rogen. It was safe to say he was one of my favorite actors.

We all lay there in silence for a while. At one point I thought I was the only one awake until Whittney spoke. "Your parents gone the whole weekend?" The hopeful tone in his voice made me cautious to answer.

"Yes," I said cautiously.

"When was the last time you hosted a party?" That was a very good question.

"Too long ago," I said after thinking for a moment.

"And when exactly were you having another one?"

"Tomorrow night," I decided rashly. "You're not the only one who misses my parties."

 

It was only an hour into the party, and the whole first floor was already flowing with people. Most of them were inside since it was only fifty degrees outside, but it was surprising that there were so many people so early on in the night.

Since I had a couple acres around my house of forest, I didn't ever have to worry about neighbors calling the cops. That was another reason why so many people always showed up, secluded houses always ensured the lack of probability that you'd get arrested. It really payed off to have a house so closed off from the world.

Father was huge on privacy, so our location wasn't really surprising to me when we moved here when I was just starting middle school.

Getting alcohol was a little more difficult without Dax supplying me, but there was a plan B. Even though it was more expensive, there was a guy in town who sold kegs to minors if you were willing to pay a little extra, so that's what I did.

I did have plenty of alcohol around the house, but Andrew rarely bought any beer. A few bottles of vodka was on the island in the middle of the kitchen, where Rodney was hosting some form of drinking contest. Courtney sat on his lap as he handed her a shot, which she took without question.

The two of them had been getting very friendly with each other lately, but I doubted it was a relationship of any feelings. No doubt they were just fuck buddies, but I wasn't going to ask questions. Usually that revealed unwanted answers.

Carson and Charlette were joining in with them, along with Bradley, Jameson, and also a few other players on our team. Joey, Rodney's younger brother must have also tagged along, because he was downing a shot with another sophomore in his arms. He was wearing his leather jacket, so no doubt he rode his motorcycle here. Lucky for him, his stepdad was a lawyer, so he somehow got him a motorcycle license when he turned sixteen a few months ago.

If my memory served me right, the girl in his arms was on the cheer team with Sabrina, and Courtney who still held the head position for the second year in a row. I thought her name was Avril, but I didn't really care enough to ask.

Walking past the two of them, I noticed one more person taking a shot. Troy coughed slightly as he forced the vodka down his throat.

"You're lucky your older sister isn't here," I told Sabrina's younger brother. He jumped at the sound of my voice, knowing exactly who it was. "What you doing here, Troy?"

He sucked in a breath before speaking nervously, "Please don't call my sister!"

The begging was a little entertaining, and since he was a freshman, I decided to mess with him a little. "I don't know, man. If Sabrina found out that I didn't tell her about this, it'll not only be you scared for your life."

"What happened to the football bro code and looking out for the team?"

The fear in his voice made me chuckle. "Calm down, kid. I'm not ratting you out to your sister. But if she finds out you came here, I didn't see you. Deal?" He nodded quickly before grabbing another shot. "Who brought you here anyway?"

"I did," Joey said from behind me. "Can you believe he's never been to a party before?"

Troy looked down in embarrassment for a second before laughing nervously. "I've just been busy," he mumbled, trying to lead us away from the real reason.

"Right," Joey scoffed, "If you had it your way you'd be home alone watching Netflix with your sister." Raising his eyebrows knowingly at his friend, he brought a beer to his lips before tilting his head back.

"Make sure Troy stays out of trouble," I ordered to Joey, who just nodded, clearly only half listening.

Joey was so much different from his brother. While Rodney was almost obsessed with getting good grades, working on scholarships, and constantly keeping his permanent record clean, Joey was a slacker and only cared about two things.

Sex and drugs.

Rodney was like him in the sex aspect, but he played his cards right so he didn't get caught up in the drugs. I always looked up to him in that way. Since he was a year older than me, a senior, he automatically had an impact on the younger grades. Even though he sometimes wasn't the greatest person personality-wise, he was always opposed to drugs.

Joey wasn't controlled by his anger like Whittney, which is what made him still likable in the in-crowd at Cromwell high. I didn't know how he did it, but he always had a steady head, and that was what made me question his sanity.

In many ways he reminded me of Dax when I first me him.

The 'bad boy' vibe he had going on really helped him gain points in popularity. Girls loved a rule breaker, I understood that, but he was not a good person. He was just better at hiding and manipulation than Whittney was.

Leaving the kitchen, I grabbed a cup and filled it with vodka, and of course, Mountain Dew. When I was about to step outside for some fresh air, Madison was walking over hand in hand with Paul Gavin.

Those two have not spent a moment away from each other since he asked her out Homecoming night. I was almost starting to think that they were cuter together than Sabrina and I, if that was even possible.

Paul was tall with an ash-blond hair color, which matched really well with Maddie's red hair. After finding out that he was playing the male lead in our school musical, Alice in Wonderland. In this version The Mad Hatter got a lot more show time since this version had to be rewritten by the drama club themselves.

Drama wasn't exactly for me, so I wasn't about to go watch it, but Madison always had a love for guys who could act and sing. They got extra points if they could also play guitar, Maddie's favorite instrument.

"Hey Aussie!" Madison exclaimed, letting go of Paul to give me a hug. I didn't let it go on for long since I didn't want to make her boyfriend feel uncomfortable. I never thought of her as more than a friend, but I'm sure he wouldn't appreciate me lingering too long.

"Hey Mads," I smiled at her, letting her go. "I'm glad you guys could make it," I said to the both of them.

"Well it's the least we can do after you're the one that brought the two of use together." Paul's lips pulled up at the corners and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, making her blush.

"I knew you two would be adorable." I grinned, knowing I did good. Being a matchmaker was not something I ever thought I'd be good at, but here I was, playing Cupid, pretending like I knew anything about love. "But you guys have been here for a while five minutes and not one ounce of alcohol is in you yet. Keg's in the kitchen. Go have fun you crazy love birds."

Madison rolled her eyes and shoved my shoulder. "If you don't stop calling us that, I'm going to have to resort to violence."

"Oh, now I'm terrified."

A scowl crossed her face. "Don't push your luck, Griffin."

I chuckled and pointed to the kitchen. "Drink. Now. You're cranky when you're sober."

"Do not encourage him!" She yelled, noticing Paul was laughing with me.

He placed his hands on her shoulders and lead her to the kitchen. "Come on, cranky. Let's get you some alcohol in your system before you turn into Oscar the Grouch."

Getting those two together was definitely the best idea I had in a while.

"So you do have a nice bone in your body," a female voice said behind me. I didn't have to think too hard to know who it was.

"Amber, so nice that you decided to come." Sarcasm laced my voice as I put on a fake smile. "Too bad I haven't had enough alcohol to tolerate snarky bitches yet. Maybe you can come back at a more reasonable time. Like never. Yeah, that would work."

She rolled her eyes and ran her shoulder into mine as she passed. Before she

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