When holding on to the things that mean the most to you, there's nothing more scary than the thought of having to let them go. The very feelings that you usually tried to suppress weren't so easily avoided when the realization what you held most dear could be gone at any moment.

Life was a funny thing, and I knew from experience that it takes more than it gives. There was no escaping it's clutches once it had you as it's prisoner. Everything in the world was connected in an intricate web, and if you pulled the wrong string, the whole thing would collapse. Destroying everything.

At first when I tampered with the corrupt strings four years ago, I didn't know the trouble it would cost me. There were so many days I wished I had never met the person who turned my life into some sick game, but life didn't have a rewind button.

Nothing you did in the past could be undone. Which was why telling Sabrina about it was one of my biggest fears. Rejection from her was something I couldn't take. For lack of better words, it would destroy me.

Waking up to Sabrina's warm body wrapped around mine, I couldn't help the warm feeling that was growing deep inside me. For the first time, I realized just how beautiful she looked as she slept.

Her makeup was cleared away, but she looked more gorgeous than ever. The way her nose crinkled while she dreamt sent a strange feeling through me that I couldn't explain.

I ran my hand over her cheek, bringing a few strands of hair with me as I traced it around the back of her ear. Her skin was so soft and flawless that barely anybody could compare. Since she was sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to want to wake her.

Looking at her was more than worth the fact that my arm was falling asleep from her weight on it. I never thought I'd ever get tired of watching her sleep. As creepy as it sounded, there was something very beautiful about it.

At first when I asked her to stay the night with me she looked at me like I had just committed treason or something. It wasn't until after I promised that I had no sexual intentions that she agreed, but still rather grudgingly.

I smiled to myself as I trailed my fingers along her arm, leaving goosebumps on the spots my hand touched. Luckily Sabrina wasn't a light sleeper, or else she would have woken up by now.

Just for now, I wanted to pretend like I had nothing that could get in the way of what she felt for me. That I wasn't the broken boy who needed their girlfriend to pick up the pieces.

I knew I wasn't supposed to play that part, though. It wasn't my life. That wasn't me. I was Austin Griffin, the guy who slept around only so he could feel better about himself. The guy who purposely trashed his house by throwing parties to get back at his father for giving him hell all those years. The guy who kept anyone from getting close to him to keep them from knowing the truth.

That was just it though. I didn't want to be that guy anymore.

Even though I had no idea what Sabrina would think if she heard about the kind of guy I really was, there was nothing I could do to stop the inevitable. It was only a matter of time until she would find out for herself about my hidden demons. All I could do was be honest with her and let her in.

I asked Sabrina to give me a couple days before telling her what was going one, and she did just that. These past couple days made me happier than I ever dreamed, but I knew it wouldn't last long since not too long from now, she'd know.

My deepest and darkest shames would be brought to the surface, but like a fish out of water, there would be no relief. Only suffocation would be waiting for me above the waves, leaving me exposed to the last person I wanted to see me for who I am. She would hate me, and I would have nothing in this world to hold onto.

When I felt her body shift against mine I held my breath, mentally preparing myself for what I was going to say.

The warmth of Sabrina's lips brushed my cheek as she kissed it. Wrapping my arms around her, I situated the both of us so that her body aligned perfectly with mine. Her back was pressed against my chest as our hands met, our fingers closing around each other's.

While we lay there in comfortable silence for a while, I knew that there was no better time than now to say something. The longer I stayed quiet, the easier it would get to keep things secret from her. I wanted to be able to trust her, and I did, but there would always be that part in the back of my mind that wanted to take care of everything myself. The people I cared about shouldn't have to suffer from the mistakes I made.

Taking a deep breath, I finally broke the silence.

"I was only thirteen when Andrew hit me for the first time." I didn't know what to expect when the words were finally out, but silence wasn't what it. She lay completely still. Tense, but mute.

It stayed silent for only a little bit longer before I continued. "Rodney's mom had dropped me off from my very first football game and I went upstairs to tell my mom how proud I was that we had won." I smiled slightly from the memory. "Sandra and I didn't used to have such a difficult relationship like we have now. There was a time where I thought that we were really close. When I told her about how I made the winning touchdown for the team, she was actually excited."

Now I was the one who remained silent. All of a sudden I had lost my voice, but only because I knew what happened next in the story.

Getting over my anxiety, I carried on with the story. "My mother and I were up in her room when we heard Andrew screaming her name. It wasn't unusual that he was angry, but this time was different." Closing my eyes, I tried to keep my feelings in check. I didn't want Sabrina to know how much all of this affected me. "He wasn't in his right mind, and Sandra knew it. She put me in the closet before he made it upstairs."

I could feel Sabrina's grip tighten around my hands like she knew the worst of the story was yet to come. "Once Andrew came into the room I knew that something was terribly wrong. Never in my life had I seen him so angry. At first he was just yelling at her, calling her a whore for sleeping with his partner and that she wasn't nothing. When his words didn't seem to make him feel better he went for-" I stopped myself for a second, not wanting to continue. "other methods."

"Sandra ended up in the ER that night." Trying to sound indifferent didn't work as my voice wavered a little. As much as I hated my mother now, it didn't used to be that way. There would always be that part of me that loved her, even though she was never there for me anymore. "Five broken ribs, a sprained wrist, and a severe concussion. If Andrew didn't hear me crying she probably would have ended up worse. When he pulled me out of the closet he started accusing me of knowing about her affair."

"I denied every single one of his accusations, fearing he'd do the very same thing to me if I told him. Even though I had no idea that my mother was seeing this guy, I was still blamed. When he couldn't hold himself back anymore-" I stopped myself there. Not wanting to think about it.

Letting out a humorless laugh, I kept the story going, skipping over the obvious. "My father told the doctors that Sandra and I were attacked in a burglary gone wrong. The police were on a wild goose chase for months before calling it a cold case."

"The whole time she was in the hospital, I was too. I refused to leave her side for almost two weeks, but when she was able to come home she wasn't the same person." My eyesight began to blur, and I didn't even care that in that moment, I was crying. "Once she came home she did everything she could to keep her distance from me. And as Sandra became colder, Andrew became crueler. He's never liked her, but when she cheated on him, he went over the edge. I knew I lost both my parents completely that day."

Silence surrounded us as I stopped talking. The only thing I could hear was Sabrina faltered breaths. She was in shock, that much was clear. I was shocked too. I was shocked that I told her. This was the first time I had ever shared that night with anyone.

Something was definitely wrong with me. I didn't share my feelings. Talking about something so personal was not like me at all.

Fear consumed me as I lay completely frozen, holding onto the only girl that mattered in this universe. Knowledge on where to go from there escaped me as all I could do was hold onto her. From the way she was shivering, I knew that this story did a little more than just shake her up a little bit.

I should have noticed it sooner, but Sabrina was crying into the pillow she was resting on. Not knowing what else to do, I turned her so that we were now chest to chest and she was crying into my shoulder. I hated myself for making her cry.

Wiping my own watery eyes with my free hand, I tried to recollect myself. Right now all I wanted to do was get her to stop. There was nothing more painful to me than this, hearing her weep against me while gripping onto my shirt so tightly that her knuckles were going white. This was not how I thought it was going to go at all. I knew she was going to be upset, but I didn't know it would be like this.

With how much sadness came with this outbreak of the truth, I wondered if maybe telling her about Dax would have been a better option. At least that way she would have been mad at me, because getting involved with him was all on me, and I got what I deserved by playing with matches.

Anything was better than this.

"Rina," my voice cracked as I spoke, "please stop crying. It's okay. Everything is going to be all right."

This stunted her tears a little bit as she looked up at me with an unconvinced look. Her eyes were red-rimmed as they bore into mine. "You're wrong," she whimpered. "None of this is okay."

Sitting up, Sabrina lifted herself off of me to help the process. I scooted backward so that my back leaned against the headboard of the bed frame. "Look at me." I didn't give her time to listen herself as I held her face in my hands and held her gaze once our eyes connected. "I'm okay, see? He rarely hits me anymore, and even when he does, I can take it. I am not a defenseless little kid anymore."

"But your-" she could barely get the words out, her voice only a whisper, "but your dad hits you."

Yes, he does. Can we move on now, I thought bitterly as I saw the pity in her eyes.

"I-" My sentance stopped before it could go anywhere. Running my hand through my hair, I said, "It's not that big of a deal, okay?"

"It's not a big deal?" she exclaimed, hot tears still falling down her cheeks. "Austin, we have to tell somebody about this!"

Rage blurred my vision as I grabbed her by her arms and pulled her up from the bed. Her back hit the wall with a thump as I held her there. "Are you fucking crazy? I can't believe I was so stupid to trust you!" I yelled, my grip tightening. "You just found out my biggest secret and you're already trying to expose it?"

"Austin, calm down," she said in a shaky voice.

"Calm down?" I exclaimed. "You want me to calm down? I'm sorry, is there anything else you want me to do, because I feel like I'm going to have to take notes on everything you want from me at this point!"

"I'm just trying to help you, you ungrateful asshole!"

"You think I need your help? You think I need anyone's help?" I scoffed. Both my hands ran through my messy hair as I turned around and kicked the chair next to my desk. The sound of it falling to the floor was louder than I thought it would be, making Sabrina tense. "I did just fine while I was on my own. Now you come in, get me off drugs, and think you're some kind of hero?"

My fists were clenched at my sides as I glared at Sabrina. Anger still radiated off of me in waves as our eyes were locked on each other's.

After a long moment of silence, Sabrina finally spoke. "I think I'm going to go."

"Yeah," I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest. "You do that."

Right now I didn't care that she could barely speak from how upset she was. I didn't care that the tears in her eyes were because of me. She wanted me to turn in Andrew, and there was no way I would do that.

Andrew was a terrible father, and an even worse husband, but he was still family.

A look of pure disdain crossed her face before she grabbed her phone off my bed. She didn't even take her dress on the way out, nor did she acknowledge the fact that she had on a pair of my pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. Just left.

When I heard the basement door slam, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which was a glass and hurled it at the wall. I let out a growl while doing so, then heard it shatter.

Not wanting to deal with it right now, I threw on some running shorts, a cut off, and some Nike's and left for my own personal gym. I was ready to punch something, and I was going to punch it hard. All the anger that was pent up inside me had to be brought out some way, and I couldn't risk finding out the alternative.

I skipped the part where I'd wrap my hands and just went straight to the bag. Right now I didn't care if I broke my wrist, or split open the skin on my knuckles. I deserved it. Not only did I push Sabrina away again for no good reason, but I also told her about my father, and she didn't even have the decency to respect my decision.

Each one of these thoughts made my fists hurl against the bag with great force. Of course, I already somewhat regretted my decision of not wearing wraps or gloves. Both my hands were aching like crazy, but I kept going.

The pain in my hands was quickly catching up with me, making me kick the bag as hard as I could before getting my wrap. Once I successfully finished the process I went back to my rage induced workout. With every thought that went through my head I pulled a set of punches.

I had no idea how long I had been hitting the punching bag like it was more important than breathing, but I finally steadied it and let ragged breaths escape me. After that I was tired, hot, and I was in good need of a shower.

Finally, once the water ran over me, I could feel all the anger that rushed to the surface go down the drain. When it was gone, deep regret came rushing in. I wasn't only a terrible boyfriend from the way I was yelling at Sabrina earlier, but I was also being a terrible person. The next time I saw her, I'd definitely have to suck up big time.

I groaned in frustration, but my anger left faster than it came as I moved my face directly in the stream of water. A heavy sigh left me, relieved that I was feeling so much better.

Turning off the faucet, I grabbed the towel that hung on the hanger and used it to dry my hair a little before wrapping it around my waist. When I wiped my hand across the steamed up mirror, I noticed that I had a little bit of stubble.

There was nothing that annoyed me more than facial hair. Like my father, I could pull it off, but it was such a pain to constantly remove it all the time. I'd rather not have in and not have to worry.

The only reason Andrew kept his facial hair was because he looked even younger without it. Giving the illusion that he was older made people often overlook that he was too young to be the father of a seventeen year old. Most people looked past it already, though. Not many want to mess with a successful business man who had power and money constantly at his right hand.

Within minutes my face was completely shaven and I was applying some aftershave. When I got back to my room my phone was buzzing on my nightstand. I checked the called ID and slid the iPhone button to answer.

"Listen, about earlier-"

Sabrina didn't let me finish as she spoke, "You don't have to apologize. We'll talk when I get there."

"You're coming back?"

"Is that okay?"

"It's always okay," I told her. She didn't even say goodbye before ending the call, but I didn't mind. It wouldn't shock me if she were still to be mad. I said some horrible things that I couldn't take back.

Not knowing when she'd show up, I quickly put on boxers and pulled some jeans up overtop of them. I pulled my shirt over my head and once I brought it down Sabrina was already standing before me.

"Sabri-" I was cut off when she wrapped her arms around me. At first I stood there awkwardly for a second, but eventually I returned it, pulling her closer.

She held me tightly as she whispered, "I'm sorry." Not wanting to let me go, she continued still gripping me tightly, "I'm sorry that I was trying to get you to tell someone, but you have no idea how scared I am for you. There's nothing I want more in this world than for you to be safe and-"

It was my turn to cut her off. "You don't have to protect me." I pulled away from her and tilted her head up so that she could look at me. "I'm supposed to be the one who protects you. I'm the boyfriend, aren't I? I'm supposed to help you when you need help, not the other way around."

A weak smile came across Sabrina's face as she spoke, "When you're in a relationship you're supposed to help each other."

"I know," I said, my thumb gently stroking her cheek. "I know you want to help me, but you don't understand. I don't need you to help me. Andrew isn't as bad as he used to be. No, he isn't the greatest parent in the world. He has a temper, only cares for himself half the time, and drinks more than he should, but he sure as hell will not be accused of child abuse."

Sabrina was about to say something, but I stopped her. "Do you have any idea what would happen if people knew the truth? GriffCo would fall apart without him, not to mention the company would forever be tainted by the fact that the CEO hit his kid."

"That's what you're worried about? The company?" She hissed and ran a hand through her long hair. "Do you not get how serious this whole situation is?"

"If anything, I'm the one who gets it more than anyone," I argued. "What I don't get is why you are making such a big deal out of it. I know how to handle my father."

"You shouldn't have to handle him." Sabrina sat down on the edge of my bed and rested her forehead on her palms with her elbows on her knees. "He's your dad. You're supposed to love him." She stilled for a little while before speaking again, "I don't know what I'd do without my dad."

Often I wondered what it would have been like if things between Andrew and I were different. If I were to be the type of son he could be proud of instead of what he actually thought about me. To him, I was impulsive, irresponsible, and a constant disappointment. No matter how hard I try I could never match up to his expectations.

I took a seat next to Sabrina and wrapped my arms around her. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you earlier today," I mumbled against the top of her head. "Sometimes my temper gets the best of me, and I need to learn to control that. I-I really like you, and I want to be the guy you want me so badly to be. It's just- I have a hard time being that guy. Um, that's no excuse, I know that if I were to really try, I could be the kind of person you deserve, and I-"

Sabrina's lips crashed to mine, relieving me of my painful rambling.

"The fact that you're trying is all that matters." She leaned forward, giving me a quick peck on my lips before hugging me.

Things with Sabrina weren't perfect right now, but damn, did it feel that way.

And there's ch 7! What did you