XXXIV- One Thing at a Time

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When we make it to the bedroom he wastes no time in pulling my shirt off. It falls to the floor softly while I grab the back of his neck and pull him to me. Everything about him makes my stomach drop and my skin tingle. There's no more denying it or pretending anymore, not after tonight. Shawn grabs my waist and pulls me even closer, I want his shirt off, I want our skin to touch. I tug at the hem of his shirt and lift it up until it's on the floor somewhere near mine. I don't think I could ever get over how amazing he looks with his shirt off. His toned chest is moving up and down as he breathes unsteadily. I reach around my back and unclip my bra, watching as his eyes darken at my now bare chest. My fingers slide down his stomach to his belt. He doesn't stop me as I unhook it and pull it off. I feel like everything is happening in slow motion and this might actually last forever.

"Livia," He says, grabbing my attention. "Have you and Dean ever...?" He's asking if we've ever had sex...if I've ever had sex. 

"No." I admit despite my fears bubbling up inside.

Shawn hesitates momentarily before leaning in to kiss my lips. When he pulls away he's still so close to me that it's enticing, "I want you to be ready."

I am ready, for the first time in three years of being with someone else I'm ready. "I am." I promise. I've never been so sure about anything.

"I guess a part of me already knew that." Shawn sighs, taking a step back from me, "I want you, Livia. It's not going to happen tonight, not like this."

"Like what?" I ask, reaching down to pick up my shirt.

Shawn shakes his head, "You're still with Dean..." Oh.

He reaches out to pull me to him, "It's not like that. If we're going to have sex then I want all of you." I completely understand where he's coming from. It would've been different if I already slept with Dean but I haven't.

I kiss Shawn, his mouth feels so good against mine. Everything about him feels so right. "In the meantime..." I say against his lips. "I want you to teach me something."

His smirk is evident as he grabs the back of my thighs and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist while he walks over to the bed and drops me on it. I waste no time in taking my shirt off as he hovers over me. My back arches as he drops down and kisses my breasts while grabbing them. His index finger and thumb twirls around my nipple so sensually. I can feel him get hard against me as he lowers more and more. I want to get lost in the feelings he gives me but I stop him. He looks up at me as I say, "I want...I want to go down on you." I've never done anything like this before but I know I want to.

"Are you sure?" I nod and sit up on the bed. "Okay." Shawn agrees as he stands at the very edge. I make my way over to him and look up. He leans down and kisses me while I trail my fingers down to the button of his pants. I undo it and lower the zipper down. Shawn does the rest for me as he takes off his pants and boxers, throwing them in a pile on the floor. When he comes back in front of me I blush as I look at his penis. He's much bigger than I expected him to be.

"I don't...I don't know what to do." I admit shyly.

Shawn chuckles lightly at my innocence, "I'll show you, here," He takes my hand and places it on the base of him. "Wrap your fingers around me like this." He takes in a deep breath as I do so on my own. "Move up and down slowly at first."

I do as he says, watching as his eyes flutter close and his head tilts back. I love that I can make him feel this way with just a touch. After a minute he looks down at me, "Do you want to try using your mouth?" I nod up at him. "Okay just wrap your mouth around the tip and take in a little at first and then as much as you can. Do the same thing you did with your hands only with your mouth."

As I do what he says I realize that I can take in much more than expected and it doesn't take me long to get the hang of it. "Fuck...like that." He commands in such a deep tone. I move my tongue around him as I go up and down at a fast pace. His moans might actually be the hottest thing I've ever heard.

What I can't take in my mouth I use my hand for. The mixture sends him over the edge as he says, "I'm so close, Livia." His words encourage me to pick up my pace with both my mouth and my hand and it doesn't take long for him to still.

His come is hot and bitter in my mouth. It isn't as bad as my friends always told me it would be. I swallow and wipe my mouth of any traces. "How was that?" He questions as he tries to control his breathing.

"Honestly I liked it, I like how I could make you feel that way." Now I understand the appeal to sex, especially with the right person.

Shawn surprises me by leaning in and kissing me. When he pulls away he smiles against my lips, "Good." Shawn's hand slides down to my thigh, "Now it's my turn." I barely have time to react before his lips are on mine and I'm pushed back onto the bed.

One thing is for certain, it's about to be a very fun night.




I woke up the next morning with my head on Shawn's chest and his arm wrapped around me. I've never felt more safe then with him. "Good morning." He says as I look up at him.

I smile, "Good morning." I sit up and lift my arms in the air to stretch. I'm only in his shirt from last night and my underwear. I turn to look at Shawn wearing only boxers. I can't get my head around how attractive he is even just waking up. Meanwhile I'm positive I look like a complete mess. "I'm thinking pancakes for breakfast." Shawn decides as he stands up and walks over to his dresser for some pants. I'm glad that he doesn't add a shirt to his ensemble.

"Pancakes sound amazing." I admit before pausing, "Oh, I didn't bring a toothbrush."

I feel stupid but Shawn just laughs at me in amusement. "I have a pack in my cabinet, feel free to take one." I nod, making my way to the bathroom. Shawn grabs my hand and pulls me back to him quickly. He moves a piece of hair behind my ear before cupping my cheek. Shawn doesn't say anything, he just looks into my eyes before kissing me. He pulls away all too soon, "What do you say we go together and you join me in the shower? Then after that we can make breakfast." He asks suggestively.

My stomach flutters at the offer. Everything feels so surreal but I want it all, "That sounds fun." I agree.

After a very steamy shower we make our way downstairs to the kitchen. "I'll make the coffee." I offer as I make my way to the coffee machine. He informs me that the grounds are in the cabinet right above it. His coffee machine is very similar to mine so it doesn't take me long to figure it out.

Once it's going I make my way over to the stove by Shawn. He's pouring a ladle of batter onto the pan. I watch as he concentrates very hard to get the perfect measurement. I never thought I could like the way a person does every little thing. "You're staring at me." Shawn notices, looking up at me with a small smirk.

I meet his gaze, his eyes have such an insane hold on me, "I..." I trail off, not having a reasonable explanation.

Shawn sets down the ladle and without any warning he leans down to grab the back of my thighs and lift me up. He sets me down on the counter I was next to. Now in between my thighs he presses his lips against my neck slowly. I tilt my head back to give him better access as he continues his sweet assault. Suddenly I smell burning and force myself to stop Shawn, "The pancakes are burning." I inform him.

He pulls away suddenly to go flip them before they get too bad. "It's hard to control myself when you look at me like that."

"Like what?" I ask.

Shawn puts the pancakes on the plate and turns off the stove, "Like you want me." I can't help but admit to myself that I do want him. I want every part of him more than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. "Do you want to eat this in bed?" He asks, handing the plates to me.

"Yes!" I get down from the counter and smile at him before running to the stairs, "Don't forget the syrup!" I call from behind me.

I hear him chuckle and follow me as I make my way into the room and set the food on his dresser. Before I know it I'm being picked up and tossed onto the bed. I can't help but start laughing as Shawn hovers over me. He straddles either side of me with a devious look on his face and a bottle of syrup in his hand."What are you doing?" I question cautiously.

Shawn lifts up my shirt to expose my bare skin. "You said you wanted the syrup." His confidence makes me question his motives.

It dawns on me what he's about to do, "Shawn, no!" He doesn't listen to me as he opens the cap and pours the sticky liquid on me.

I squirm under him as he closes the cap and sets the bottle down. "You know what? I think I want some syrup too." Shawn decides as he lowers himself and begins to lick my stomach all the way up to my breasts. I can't help but moan under his tongue but all too soon the syrup is gone and Shawn stops.

After breakfast we go back for the coffee and I go into his office to help him get his planning done for next week. I moved to sit beside him but he pulls me to his lap as he types on his computer. He's so calm when he works, it's a side of him I only get to see when I'm assisting him after school. The only difference is we're at his house and I'm finally able to see what he does on his computer for hours on end.

There is a unit that he works on, building lesson plans and then re reading the assignments from the week before to see what he needs to go over with the students again. I stay just as busy as him as I watch what he's doing and the techniques he uses. He really is a good teacher. Eventually he gets to Dean's assignment from last week, I read over it with Shawn. The assignment was to compare a historical figure from the 1800's to a historical figure now. As I read over it Dean sounds very intelligent and formal, like he really knows what he's talking about. It's no surprise that Dean is very smart, he has one of the highest GPAs in our class. I guess I just have a hard time understanding how his anger doesn't reflect in his school work. Maybe it's the pressure he has to get into Stanford, or maybe it's his father being hard on him.

Suddenly I feel so small, Dean is going to get into a great school and move hundreds of miles away with me in tow. I don't get anything from Dean, nothing but pain. "Hey, are you okay?" Shawn asks as he notices my expression.

I nod, turning to look at him. "I was just thinking...what have I been missing out on?" This whole year I could've been building myself up instead of letting Dean tear me down.

Shawn grabs my wrist and points to the bruise that is practically healed, "This is what you should've been missing out on." I find myself completely agreeing with him. No one should have to go through this.

I finally know what I have to do, "After Christmas I'm going to leave him." I promise. I've waited long enough, Christmas break will give me plenty of time to give me the courage to do what I have to do. I'll leave Dean and never look back.

An expression of pure shock crosses Shawn's face as he looks at me, "Really?" He asks.

"You've finally made me realize that there is more to life than pain and suffering. I'm the happiest I've ever been here with you versus three years with Dean." I hate that it took me so long to understand that the things Dean has done to me is completely unforgivable. I might be a bad person for cheating on him but I never did that to spite him. "I want to tell my friends about Dean first. If I'm going to leave him then they need to know the truth. I'm done lying and pretending."

He rests his hand on my face, "I think that's a great idea."

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