My mom places the rolls on the table before taking a seat herself. "Thanks, mom." I say. I helped her cook a little bit, but she mostly wanted to talk about school. I told her about Katie and my internship but other than that there wasn't much to tell.

Shawn is sitting next to me at the table, looking as nonchalant as ever. "So what made you decide to move to New York?" My dad asks him. I feel so awkward but I'm not sure why. We've all had dinner together before and it's ended up fine. Maybe It's because we have a title this time. The label that says it all, he's my boyfriend. Not my fling, or teacher. Shawn is my boyfriend.

Shawn puts some food on his plate while he answers him. "They made me an offer I couldn't refuse. Besides I knew the area so it made sense to accept a job there."

They begin talking about New York and how Dianne let him have the apartment. I sit quietly, only talking when I'm spoken to. I do mention that he's my first hour again. My family found it funny and ironic. I don't blame them for taking this whole situation lightly. Besides, they love Shawn. Watching the way he charms them, I can see why. He's good with parents, nice and understanding. He's not too young so he can relate to them about certain topics and issues that I haven't experienced yet. I stand up and grab my plate, everyone stares at me. "I'm just going to put my plate up."

My dad furrows his eyebrows, "Are you sure? You hardly ate anything."

"Yeah I'm just not that hungry but I'll finish it later." I promise, as I walk past them and into the kitchen.

I set my plate on the counter and grab the plastic wrap from the cabinet. I glance up when Shawn walks in. He holds his plate up, "I told them I was getting more. Are you okay?" He whispers to me.

I force myself to nod, "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

"Because you can't eat when you're nervous." I stop fumbling with the plastic wrap and look up at him. "We could just tell them you know."

"About us?" I whisper back. "No way."

He put his hand on mine. "They're going to find out eventually because I don't plan on losing you anytime soon." Shawn's words are sweet. I know he'd do anything for me and I always thought I would do the same. So why can't I go into that dining room and blurt it out to my parents? Shawn let's go of my hand after I've taken too long to answer. "Oh." He says.

"Wait it's not like that I-" I pause. "This whole thing has just caught me off guard." Shawn doesn't respond, he just sets his plate in the sink and walks back into the dining room. I hear him tell them he changed his mind about the leftovers.

I internally groan and put my food in the fridge before rejoining my family. Shawn is laughing with my mom over something I didn't hear. "You need to get yourself a man like Shawn." She laughs some more. I'm not sure if she meant what she just said but Shawn ignores it.

"Don't pressure her into getting a boyfriend, Olivia. As far as I'm concerned you can stay single forever." My dad says, I know it took him a lot to get over my last relationship. I guess we know who would be for and against Shawn and I.

It still doesn't mean I should tell them like Shawn wants. It's not good timing, not while he's still my teacher. "Well, I should get going." Shawn stands up and puts his jacket on. "Thank you for dinner."

"Do you still have a place here?"

Shawn nods. "Yeah, just a few blocks away 0n Littleton." He waves to my parents. "Thanks again."

"I'll walk you out." I tell him but Shawn doesn't speak to me so I follow him out. "Shawn, wait." I call after him.

He gets to his car and opens the door. "Are you coming with me or not?" He asks.

"Let me say goodbye." He sighs but stands there, waiting for me. I run back in the house and grab my bag for Shawn's cake. "He's going to give me a ride back to Jenny's." I tell them.

My parents hug me and tell me to call them more before letting me leave. When I get back outside Shawn is in his car with a serious look on his face. He's mad but I don't understand why, I just want to protect our secret.

We ride in the car in silence, and when we get back to the house I immediately go to the kitchen to put the supplies away. Shawn walks past me to get a beer from the fridge. He opens it and throws the bottle cap on the counter. I turn and lean against the counter with my arms crossed over my chest. "You're mad at me." I say.

"Well my girlfriend doesn't want to tell anyone about me so I'm allowed to be a little mad." He takes another drink and doesn't make eye contact.

I scoff, "I'm not telling anyone because no one is supposed to know we're together."

Shawn clenches his jaw and runs his fingers through his hair, "You know if you regretted this you should've just said something."

"Are you kidding me? That's what this is about?" I think back to the first time we had sex, the first time I had sex. I just don't want you to regret this.

He sets the bottle down and shrugs, "What am I supposed to think?"

"That I'm protecting us!" I yell. "I'm sorry I don't want to tell my parents, or move in with you, but it's to protect us!"

Shawn raises his hand to the back of his neck but I can't help but flinch at him. Shawn gives me a strange look. "What are you scared of me now? Are you fucking serious Livia?" He screams back.

"No I just...I can't do this right now." I begin to walk away, Shawn grabs me and pulls me back in. I wasn't expecting him to lean down and kiss me. He finds my tongue with ease, causing me to moan softly. Shawn's fingers find the hem of my shirt, he lifts it up and takes it off of me in one quick motion. I'm not sure how to react to him but the more he kisses me, the more I want him. Shawn takes what he wants, as he unzips my jeans and pulls them down. "God." I say.

Shawn pulls on my hair to get better access to my neck. "Shut up." He demands on my skin. I do what he says and revel in the feeling of his hot mouth on my skin. Shawn's hands reach down and grab the back of my thighs to pick me up. I wrap my legs around his waist long enough for him to set me down on the counter. I know he's mad at me and would rather fuck the anger out of him. I know I should stop him and have him work through his feelings. For the life of me, I just can't seem to say a word.

I lick the frosting on the spoon before putting it in the sink. I'm finally finished with the cake, I just hope it's good. My track record for baking has been sub par. I hear Shawn walking downstairs and quickly hide the cake in the fridge for tonight. Last night after we had sex, he told me he was sleeping on the couch for the night. I tried to convince him not to but he wouldn't let up. So I let him.

I took the opportunity to make the cake while he ran this morning and showered. I'm not giving him another reason to be pissed off at me, at least not on his birthday. Speaking of which, "Happy birthday." I tell him as I hand him his coffee.

Shawn takes it, "Thanks." He mumbles.

I drop my arms at my sides. "Do you want me to leave?" I question. "I don't know how to make this better but I do know that if I'm leaving, I'm bringing the cake with me." My sorry excuse for a joke doesn't even get a smirk.

"No, I don't want you to leave." He decides. " I don't know what I want."

I take a step back. "What do you mean, like, you don't know if you want me?" Yesterday he said he didn't want to lose me, and today he's acting like he does.

Shawn sets his mug down and shakes his head. "No, it's just that whenever we get serious you pull away. Which fucking sucks when I'm the one who wants to move forward."

I lift my arms up, "I'm not pulling away I'm thinking things through." I don't understand why my defense isn't good enough for him.

"I love you, Livia." His words surprise me.

"I love you too, Shawn."

Shawn takes a step closer to me. "No, I love you and that scares the hell out of me. I've never been in love before, not like this. I feel like I'm doing all the right things and you're the one girl that doesn't want to accept it." So that's what this has been about? He doesn't care about getting caught or losing his job, he just wants to love me.

"It's not that I don't want to accept it. Look, in a year or two you're going to want your career, and the kind of opportunities that I can't offer you. I want you to have that." We can't do that if the whole world knows we're together. Shawn is silent for a moment. I can tell he's thinking about everything I've said. "I want to move in with you and tell my family." I add.

"You do?"

I close the space between us and place my hand on his chest, "Of course, but there's no rush. If we're doing this then we have to do it right." I'm not sure how many setbacks either of us can take in this relationship. So this has to be right.

Shawn holds my hand that's on his chest. "Okay."

"Okay." I repeat in a light tone. "Then no more sleeping on the couch or angry sex."

He bites his lip and asks, "What? You didn't like it?"

I laugh, the ways this man turns me on is unreal. "That's not the point." Then I get serious for a moment. "I really am sorry about last night." He needs to know that I wasn't trying to make him feel bad. I want Shawn more than anything, but I want our relationship to last.

Shawn cups my face, his thumb rubbing my cheek. He presses his lips against me. "Me too." I smile, not because he's sweet and loving. I'm smiling because he's understanding and trusting. All of our insecurities when it comes to each other cease to exist now that we've made up. Of course this is a real relationship, so I know it's not always going to be that easy.

For the rest of the day we celebrate his birthday inside the house. My cake turned out to be dry but Shawn pretended like it was the best he'd ever tasted. It was stupid but it warmed my heart. Now he's laying in my arms asleep. I almost wish we could stay here in Colorado, in this house forever. Mostly because when we're here, it's like we're the only people in the world. That's a feeling I'll never get over. I press my lips against his forehead and whisper, "Happy birthday Shawn."