When I wake up in the morning, Shawn isn't there. He left a note on the nightstand telling me he had to go into work and to stay put. I didn't even hear him leave. I roll out of bed and try to start my day. My reflection in the mirror is drained. I have bags under my eyes that make me look as if I've been punched. I look away and start the shower.

The water is hot over my skin, nice actually. I feel my muscles relaxing more and more so I close my eyes and drink in the feeling. Life hasn't been simple for a very long time but showers never change. Showers always remain the one constant in all of my chaos.

Of course once I step out and wrap the towel around my body, reality comes back to me. I called Eve and got sent to voicemail. I didn't say much, only asking for her to call me back. Then, I continue to get dressed and grab my bag. As I'm leaving the apartment, Jack calls me. "Hey." I greet quickly.

"I thought Shawn told you to stay put?"

I stop walking and look around, "Great, now I have two stalkers."

He chuckles on the other line, "Shawn filled me in at coffee this morning."

"You had time to get coffee this morning?" Shawn normally gets up at dawn to prepare for his classes. "I'm tired of feeling like I'm being watched. Where are you?" Rather than answering me, Jack hangs up on me.

I groan in frustration before seeing him with a cup of coffee in his hand. "Did you know this place has a coffee bar? I've got to get me one at the office." His tone is light, suggesting he's trying to make the best out of my situation.

Ignoring his comment, I start walking. "I don't have time for a babysitter, I need to get to class."

Jack awkwardly sets the mug down on one of the tables. Then he walks out with me, following me down the steps. "I promised Shawn I would keep an eye on you."

I don't stop as I respond, "Don't you have a company to run or something?"

Jack is much taller than I am, meaning his legs are longer. He catches up to me in no time, walking by my side now. "My father has it covered. Besides, I'm trying to make a good impression."

Finally, I stop walking. He is here because Shawn asked him for a favor. "Fine. but you're not walking me to my classes."

Jack points to his car, "As long as I can drive you we have a deal." I roll my eyes as I agree and begin my path to his car. "Someones in a bad mood." Jack mumbles behind me.

When we make it to his car, he opens the passenger door for me before getting inside himself. "So," I begin, as we head to campus. "What all did Shawn tell you?"

Jack glances over to me. "Shawn only wants to protect you." He says instead of answering my question.

I nod, looking down at my ripped jeans. "I know." I sigh, "It's just been a really long couple of days."

"It sounds like it's been a long couple of years."

I look up at him, "Yeah, I guess you could say that." I'm hoping everything works itself out but so far it's just gotten more complicated. Like Christmas lights that refuse to untangle.

The rest of the ride is in silence. When we pull up to campus Jack puts the car in park. "What time does your last class let out?"

"One-thirty."

Jack smiles at me, "I'll see you at One-thirty then."

I grab my bag and step out of his car. The thought of Dean being on this campus tortures me but I push it down. I'm in public, and I haven't even seen him yet. Today is no different.

I walk to class, Intercom, a class that's known for taking my mind off of my problems. It's a momentarily fix, just like the shower. And just like the shower, it doesn't last long. I leave my class and stay close to groups of people. They give me strange looks but I pretend not to notice how close to them I am.

I finally make it to Shawn's classroom, just as the last of his class piles out. "You were supposed to stay at the apartment." Shawn deadpans as I walk in.

"Yet you still asked Jack to follow me around." I lean forward on his desk. "I can't live my life in fear, Shawn." I already do that enough.

Shawn looks up at the door to make sure no one is listening. "It was for your own safety. Promise me that after your classes, you'll go home and stay there."

I stand up straight, "I have to go to the library after school. Other than that, I'll be home bound." I put my hand up, "Scotts honor."

"Good. Now get going, I have students coming in soon."

"Yes sir." I mock, just enough to see the corner of his lip turn up in a smile. "I'll see you tonight."

"Goodbye, Ms. Gardner."

I look at him over my shoulder. "Goodbye, Mr. Morgan."

At exactly One-thirty, I see Jack parked close by. My professor hasn't dismissed us yet but I can see him out of the window. This all feels so wrong. Dean isn't supposed to be here, ruining my life. He's supposed to be at home fixing his own. Bettering himself, that was the deal. Getting him help was always the plan and if he's the same old Dean, then everything has been for nothing. Somehow that feeling is worse than knowing he's out there, waiting for me.

"Sorry, it looks like I ran over a few minutes. Don't forget to do the reading material I gave you before the weekend is up. See you next week guys." Everyone gets up and exits the classroom.

I quickly walk over to Jack's car and knock on his window. He rolls it down for me. "I have to go to the library. I'm a little behind this week."

Jack looks over at the library, it's pretty far from where he's parked. "Do you want some company? I'm a great study partner considering I've been through college already."

"Thanks but it's public, I'll be okay."

"Okay, I'll be here when you're done." I thank him for staying before making my way to the library. It's freezing so I rush a little bit to get inside. There aren't many people in here, so I grab a table without a computer. It's fairly secluded and quiet.

I get settled in quickly, I want to get through my work so that Jack isn't outside forever. He's only out there as a favor to Shawn and as patient as he is, it's not fair. Half an hour in, and my books are all over the desk, as well as my notes, and laptop. It looks like a mess but I'm almost finished with the reading. That is until my computer dies on me. "No, no, no, no." I whisper angrily. I search my bag for the charger but come up short. "Shit." I groan to myself.

"Need help?" The library. Of course he would find me here.

I look up to see Dean smiling down at me. The same smirk as the day we met, just four years older. "It's so good to finally talk to you." He admits shamelessly.

"I can't say I feel the same."

Dean drags a chair and sits across from me. He looks so casual, always like he belongs. He's always been good at blending in."That hurts." Dean nods to the exit, "I saw the calvary outside. He's been waiting on you all day."

I check my surroundings, there's no one in ear shot. "They're worried about me." I say honestly, hoping it'll open his eyes.

It doesn't, "Why? Livia, I would never hurt you."

"It's a little late for that, don't you think?" Butterflies erupt in my stomach and throughout my chest. They're not the good butterflies that tell you when you have a crush. They're the bad ones that serve as a warning. Message received. "Please just...leave me alone."

Dean reaches across the table and grabs my hands. I try to pull away but he doesn't let me so I relax. "I already came all this way, Liv. For you." The way he says for you, is like he's doing me a favor. As if I needed a Prince Charming to come rescue me. Dean doesn't even see himself as the villain.

"You're sick, you can get help." I know he won't listen to me. It's an excuse I've been using for a very long time. Now, it's just words to get him away from me. Unfortunately for me, Dean is a little too far gone.

He lets go of my hands, "I don't think fighting for love is a sickness."

Tears start to pool in my eyes but I push them back, he doesn't get to know how scared I am. "I don't love you, Dean. I haven't for a very long time."

"That's because you don't know who I am anymore. I've changed, just let me show you." Before I can respond Dean stands up and leans over to kiss my forehead. I close my eyes, his lips feel so foreign against my skin. Almost as if this was never once a normal thing between the two of us. There's no spark when he's near me anymore. It's completely fizzled. Dean pulls away, and my eyes open. "I've missed you."

He's dangerous, I know he is. However, we're in public and I need him to understand something. I take a deep breath. "I don't love you anymore. It's Shawn, it's always going to be him." He could find a way to move on, to truly change. He has his whole life ahead of him, but he has to stop fixating on me. Dean has to get over me, forever.

Dean's face falls at my words. "No I- you don't mean that." I mean every word, he has to see that I'm not lying anymore.

My hands fall in my lap, I play with the fabric of my jeans. "Yes. I do."

"No, I don't believe you. Morgan was just a temporary lapse in judgement. We can move past it though, I'm willing to forgive you for what you did." Every word that comes out of his mouth he believes.

I laugh dryly and point to my chest, "You're willing to forgive me?" I question. A mixed bag of emotions are bubbling up inside of me. Looking around, I see that no one is in ear shot. "Dean you used to beat me, almost every day for months. So thanks but I'm not looking for your forgiveness." He used fear as a tactic to get what he wanted but he can't do that here. Dean can't touch me. I gather my stuff up and stand. I'm now the one looking down on him, "I cheated on you, but I'm not sorry."

Tears pool in his eyes just like they did with mine only a few minutes ago. "You don't mean that." He cries.

I lean in close, the smell of him revolts me. "Yes I do, and if I could do it again I would. Over and over and ove-"

"Enough!" Dean yells, slamming his hands on the table. People look at us so Dean quiets down. "Why are you saying these things?"

"Dean..." Our eyes meet, my hazel browns versus his icy blues. "It's always been him." I repeat.