Livia's P.O.V.

    I pull away from Shawn completely now. I'm not sure what came over me but the second I saw him, I needed his arms around me. I needed the safety blanket and I didn't care who was watching. This vulnerability that I seem to have with Shawn, could prove to be a bad thing. At least now that Dean is back. "What did Dean say to you?" I question him, moving to the kitchen for some water.

    Shawn follows me and sits on one of the bar stools. His elbows rest harshly on the counter top. "Well he has it in his head that I'm in the way of you two. That if I never went to Brookview, you'd still be with him."

    "I'd probably be dead." I didn't mean to voice my thoughts but it just slipped out. There's no doubt in my mind that Shawn has been thinking the same thing. He'd just never say that because there's no point in dealing with the-"what if's?" I pull the bottle of water out of the fridge and open it up in an attempt to drink it. Shawn eyes me wearily. Normally I can decipher the words behind his eyes but right now I'm falling short. "Is there anything else?" I add lightly.

    Shawn sighs, telling me there is. "I know it's nothing but, Dean said you knew he was coming back. He made it seem like you were keeping it from me." I think back to the bathroom last year. Dean had me against the wall, he told me he would come back. I didn't take him seriously but apparently I underestimated him.

    I push my hair behind my ear, suddenly needing this water a lot more than I originally thought. "Yes he told me. I should've told you but I didn't think he was serious. I told him not to and then you walked in and that was that. The last time I checked he was in Stanford having the time of his life I-"

    Shawn picks up on something, he cuts me off to add, "Wait you've been checking up on him?"

    "W-well...yeah. I might have added him on Instagram to see if he's doing any better." I set the water bottle down. "He messaged me but I unfollowed him and never answered." Something clicks in my mind as I gasp. "Wait, you don't think he...?" I trail off.

    Shawn stands up and walks over to me, "Livia listen to me" Shawn demands. "Dean is a control freak. Ever since the New Year's party, he's lost all of that control. You gave him something to hold onto."

    "No, I didn't know he would...oh my God it's my fault he's back." It was just Instagram, I thought checking up on him would be harmless.

I suppose that mixed with what he promised me in the bathroom was enough to go through with it. "It's okay. He's not going to get to you, I promise."

I take a step back from my boyfriend. "You can't possibly promise me that. I can't just hide here, I have classes, doctors appointments, I have my car at Seth's apartment." Besides, he's made it clear he knows where Shawn lives.

"We have more to think about this time." This time. It rolls off of his tongue but I'm not so sure he knows what it means. This time means we've been through this before and yet nothing has changed. Shawn is still a professor at my school, meaning the only thing he can do is sit back and let everything play out on it's own. I'm still terrified but now it's not just my life at stake. That's what he meant by there's more to think about.

But I can't think about the baby right now, I have to figure out how to get Dean back across the country. "No way is he getting to me this time." I say, walking past Shawn and over to the door. I put on my coat and shoes, "I'm ending this, tonight."

"Where are you going?"

I grab Shawn's car keys and toss them over to him. "The police station, he's been stalking me." He catches them in the middle of my sentence. "Afterwards we can stop off at Seth's and I can get my car."

Shawn agrees, grabbing his things and walking out the door with me.

    When I walk in, the first thing I notice is the bustling in the station. I try to stay focused as I walk up to the front desk. "Can I help you?" The officer asks. She's a woman in her mid-thirties. Her blonde hair is pulled back into a tight bun. "Ma'am?"

    I shake my head, trying to get back to reality. God I wish Shawn could've come in here with me. "Yes sorry I-" I lean in so that the other people can't really hear me. Not that they're listening anyway, they all have their own shit to deal with. "I'm being stalked."

    The blonde grabs a piece of paper with a clipboard and pen, "Fill this out while I find an available officer."

    "Thank you." I take what she hands me and move to sit in the waiting area. It's musk and dark in here. The seats are almost full, I find it hard to sit alone.

    About ten minutes after turning in my report, an officer walks up to me. "Livia Gardner?" The olds man holds out his hand for me to shake. "I'm officer Gregor, why don't we go talk somewhere else?"

    I shake his hand and nod, standing up to follow him to his desk. Officer Gregor points to a chair in the middle of the room. Gregor sits on the desk chair across from me. "Let's get started shall we? What's going on?"

    "My ex-boyfriend is stalking me. He's been sending flowers to me, yesterday I went to my dorm and he had broken in to put roses on my bed."

    "Did he leave a note with his name on it?"

    I shake my head, "The notes only say my name. Look I know it's from him. Last year he was abusive and I never got the cops involved because he moved away. Now he's back and-I'm afraid he's going to hurt me again or worse."

    Gregor doesn't respond fast, he thinks for a few moments first. "Look, I'm going to level with you. Stalkings are very difficult to prove unless there's undeniable evidence."

    "Evidence like-he gets to me evidence?" My throat croaks just saying the words.

    Gregor nods firmly. "These cases are extremely tricky and since the cards don't leave any information I don't have probable cause." The cops turning me down has always been something I've seen in the movies and TV shows. Something that leads to a real death because there was nothing they could do beforehand. I just never thought I'd be sitting here, letting it happen to me. I made a mistake last year, not getting the cops involved when it mattered. Now I'm facing the consequences. "You could get a restraining order but it'll take a few days to process." A restraining order won't scare him. "But listen," He hands me a business card with his name, number, and email. "If he starts to make threats, or hurts you in any way, call me." I put the card in my back pocket. Knowing it'll be too late by the time it comes in handy. "I'm sorry but for now, that's all I can do."

    I nod, grabbing my things and standing up. "I understand...thanks Officer Gregor." I say before leaving. The second I get back into Shawn's car, I know he's curious to see how it went. "The best they can do is a restraining order for now."

    "That's ridiculous there has to be something else."

    Shaking my head, I look down at my hands. "Not unless he hurts me first."

    Shawn unclips his seat belt and begins to open the door but I jet out my hand to stop his moments. "No." I tell him. "Don't make this situation any worse than it already is."

    He pierces his lips before agreeing and putting his seat belt back on. "Let's just go home and look over our options."

    "We don't have any options left. Let's just go get my car please." Shawn doesn't add anything else. He just begins driving to Seth's apartment in silence. Maybe it's because he knows that there aren't many options left anymore.

    Shawn reaches over the center console in order to grab my hand. "I won't let anything happen to you." He says with such conviction that I almost believe him.

    "I'll call Eve in the morning, and see if there's anything she can do." Just as soon as I find her number, I think to myself. It's on the letter she gave me.

Shawn stays silent once again. He looks solemn but I'm certain we share that look. We both feel helpless, like sitting ducks.

We drive separately back to Shawn's apartment. He makes a quick dinner and we attempt to make small talk but fall short. By the time we've cleaned up, I've overthinked myself into exhaustion. "I'm going to bed." I announce.

Shawn catches my wrist, keeping me there in place. "Wait, Livia." I meet his eyes. I lift my other hand up to touch his face, finally being able to understand the look he's giving me. "I won't let anything bad happen to you." He whispers almost inaudibly.

"Hey." I whisper back. "I thought we weren't supposed to pity each other, remember?"

Shawn closes his eyes for a second before opening them again. I would've clocked it as a blink if there wasn't so much hesitation. "I don't pity you I-I'm just worried." He takes a step back away from me. "If I hadn't accepted this job here then I'd be able to do something. I'd be able to help you and not hide behind the sidelines like last year." I know Shawn well enough to understand he's getting angry at himself. He's leading up to self torture and I can't let that happen.

I close the space between us, grabbing his face in both of my hands. "Look at me, none of this is your fault."

"Livia." He almost scoffs.

"I'm serious. I don't blame you for anything. You've done more to help me than anyone else on this stupid, fucked up planet. For once why can't you see that you're always getting me through shit?" Shawn opens his mouth to speak but I stop him with a kiss. It's firm and needy at first, mostly from my own doing. Then Shawn takes over, realizing the much needed distraction between the both of us.

He kisses me harder, slipping his tongue between my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck while he lifts me up on the counter. "Sex isn't going to fix this." Shawn stupidly says on my lips.

"Worry about yourself." I demand, needing him. Then my brain gets the better of me. I push my hand out and stop any further movements. My breaths are uneven and heavy, "I don't-" I take a deep breath because I'm not sure how to say this. "You're right, we should stop."

"Livia I-"

"No. What you said in Colorado wasn't entirely wrong. I used you last year every time I got scared. Now Dean is back and here I go again, using sex as a distraction for my own problems. I can't keep doing that to you." Coming here to start over was supposed to make me grow as a person. Yet here I am, still making the same mistakes. I guess history really does repeat itself.

Shawn runs his fingers through his thick hair. "You never used me Livia, I told you I wanted to."

I jump down from the counter and adjust my clothes. "That doesn't make it any better. This whole time everyone is worried about me. Livia Gardner, the girl who let her teacher seduce her. It's not like that though, It's been me this entire time." I press my lips against his in a soft kiss. When I pull away, I turn around and walk out of the kitchen.

Shawn follows shortly after I reach the bedroom. I change my clothes into one of his shirts and crawl into bed. It's not even that late, but I'm so drained from the day's events. Shawn pulls the blankets back and gets in the bed. Without a word, Shawn wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. The tears finally fall after that. Almost as if the weight of the world has fallen on my shoulders. I cry on his chest and he lets me. I chalk it up to hormones but deep down, I'm terrified...and I know Shawn is too.